Hey everybody! I've posted at this site for almost three years! I know that a lot of you don't remember me, but some do! I had a horrible two years with anorexia and now I've started b/p. I am so ashamed of myself...I thought I had things all under control. I think that the biggest reason I'm doing this is because I want sympathy...I want my family and friends to worry about me and think about me. Does this make sense? It does to me and sometimes I think I'm totally weird! But does anyone out there have any advice or can understand what I'm saying? Thanks guys...you are all wonderful!

Love, Jen

Well, ED's always seem to stem from emotional issues, so I don't find it unusual you developed one out of a need for attention or sympathy. I think everyone is unique and obviously has different motives, backgrounds, etc.

Maybe you want your family and friends to know so they will help you? I know I am slowly getting to the point where I know I need help, but I can't and am too proud to REALLY get it. Maybe wanting the sympathy is your unconscious telling you you need someone to initate treatment or something.

Just a thought, but good luck!

Jen,
It makes total sense. Especially when you realize the ED is not really about the food it is about something deeper. For you it sounds like you need emotional support from your family that you are not getting. So the ED starts to help fulfill that emotional hole and then you think that if your family knows what you are doing then they will know you really are having a struggle and needing them. You also are not weird, but you do need to get some help. See if your family will help you find a good therapist that will help you get everything in your life on track. It will also give you a safe place to go and express your feelings without judgement. You deserve a life free from the maddness. Please consider it.

Take care :angel:

You guys...I'm freakin out right now. I don't know what's going on inside of me but I have so many thoughts! "You're fat! Look at your face! It's fat" Lies, Lies, Lies and I'm starting to believe them. My self-esteem is going down and down...I've never been like this before! I've never binged so much in my life and I feel so out of control...please help!

Hi, Running Queen - - I remember you! :wave:

So sorry to hear you've begun binging/purging! :( It's so unfair how when you finally manage to recover it's so easy to fall back into the trap - or a similar one. It's common for recovering anorexics to turn to bulimia so don't feel like you're a failure, or a freak or ANYTHING ridiculous like that! :nono: You're not. You're just still fighting this eating disorder that's just now taken on a new path.

I know it feels like you're completely out of control - especially after being anorexic when the whole feeling is being IN control (even though you may not be). Okay I'm not making sense. :rolleyes:

Seriously, it is so common for people suffering from eating disorders to want people to 'care' for them. People seem to 'look out' for you more, to fuss over you more and some people really feel they need that. It's not a bad thing but it is when you'll go to serious depths to get it! Everyone wants to be 'taken care of' - some people more than others. I remember when I went from anorexia to bulimia all I wanted was for people to butt out and leave me alone. I was so angry if people DID make a fuss because I didn't want people to know what was going on. Then when I started to get better I actually LET people care and support me or else I would never have been able to do it.

Are you in counseling at all? If not you better get yourself back there ASAP! You don't want this getting any worse. Think about how unhappy you were last time you went through this - you don't want it to get that bad again.

Remember, you may want your parents to worry about you, but there's nothing worse for them than to see their daughter suffer not once but TWICE with this miserable disease.

Good luck, Running Queen.

Ashlee

(((((((HUUUUUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ))))))))) ))

One of the main reasons why I am replying to your posts coz I was scrolling down to see if there was anyone I knew...and I saw u!!! So hey!! I haven't posted here in a while as well. But, I am not really good with advice at the moment..I basically just wanted to send you my best regards!!! I have no idea where all of the older posters are...I hope they are all ok!!

Tonnes of love!!!

Caroline x x x x