Queen B
02-06-2004, 10:32 AM
After having smoked a pack+ a day for 29 years. I have been smoke free for 12 days and nicotine free for 18 days. This whole process has come as a suprise to me. Was just sorta thinking about quitting you know how smokers do 3 or 4 times a year. I started with Quest cigs (a step down in nicotine with each level) just kinda thinking about quiting. My husband smokes also by the way. Stayed on the first level for about a week. Moved on to #2 for about 2 weeks then went to the third level which has no nicotine and just naturally wanted to smoke less (they tasted like nothing). Compared to a cold turkey quit I did about 10 years ago it was about 1/2 the mental pain. The key is not to commit to no cigs...just committ to smoking no other kind of cigs and move to another level on a day when you feel strong.
Here is my question though...for over a week I wake up feeling mean have no patience, short fuse. I also don't have energy want to sleep alot which was good in the beginning because when I slept I didn't crave. My husband is also trying to quit and has been less than supportive of me in my adventure. I think by my quitting I have forced him to try also and he is really mad about it. Lots of anger and tension in our house. I'm thinking I'm suffering from depression or something. How long does this last??? The cravings for cigs aren't that bad but if this turmoil continues in my house divorce may in the picture and I am wondering is it worth it. Obviously I am not thinking clearly right...I'm hoping this is all temporary and I'll wake up my old self. Does anybody have any suggestions or been through something similar??
Here is my question though...for over a week I wake up feeling mean have no patience, short fuse. I also don't have energy want to sleep alot which was good in the beginning because when I slept I didn't crave. My husband is also trying to quit and has been less than supportive of me in my adventure. I think by my quitting I have forced him to try also and he is really mad about it. Lots of anger and tension in our house. I'm thinking I'm suffering from depression or something. How long does this last??? The cravings for cigs aren't that bad but if this turmoil continues in my house divorce may in the picture and I am wondering is it worth it. Obviously I am not thinking clearly right...I'm hoping this is all temporary and I'll wake up my old self. Does anybody have any suggestions or been through something similar??
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Invincible
02-06-2004, 11:18 AM
Smoking is often used as a smoke screen to hide how you feel. It may be worth both of you sitting down and talking through your relationship.
I know I had angry outburts when I gave up ... I was simmering away underneath about things that I felt resentlful about and stuff that frustrated me ... stuff that I would have run away from ... gone up to my bedroom and puffed away in avoidance of trouble ... somehow, without the cigarettes as my excuse to walk away, I had to face up to some of the stuff that got to me day in-day out etc...
I am on 77 days as a non-smoker .... I had a 1 week relapse in between due to having a frustrating situation blow up and up ... in the past, all these frustrating situations triggered the need to chain-smoke ..
so be warned about the potential dangers of not dealing with anger and stress...
Get some stress management/anger tapes .... that's a start, maybe sit down with your husband and talk about what it is that frustrates you both. You both need to be supporting each other right now.
Good luck. Stick with it!
I know I had angry outburts when I gave up ... I was simmering away underneath about things that I felt resentlful about and stuff that frustrated me ... stuff that I would have run away from ... gone up to my bedroom and puffed away in avoidance of trouble ... somehow, without the cigarettes as my excuse to walk away, I had to face up to some of the stuff that got to me day in-day out etc...
I am on 77 days as a non-smoker .... I had a 1 week relapse in between due to having a frustrating situation blow up and up ... in the past, all these frustrating situations triggered the need to chain-smoke ..
so be warned about the potential dangers of not dealing with anger and stress...
Get some stress management/anger tapes .... that's a start, maybe sit down with your husband and talk about what it is that frustrates you both. You both need to be supporting each other right now.
Good luck. Stick with it!
smartgal
02-06-2004, 12:52 PM
Instant PMS!! I had quite a few days of it. I'm slowly getting better. It helps to eat healthy, even though you may want bad stuff. Most of all, have patience with yourself! I had days when I was so bad, I didn't want to be around me, so I really understand. Your husband may just be having withdrawal too, so try to find something to do that won't be too stressful. Personally, I avoided talking about any serious stuff until my mood passed.
Queen B
02-06-2004, 12:52 PM
Thanks, I think you may be on to something. My husband and myself both have alot of baggage. Could be that's what's coming through. I think maybe I should wait to discuss and bring out what our issues are because I really don't think I'm thinking clearly right now.
The cravings are tolerable right now just the anxiety and temper and I am hoping they go away soon. Smoking was a great time marker and passer and that is when I seem to want them the most...while I'm waiting for something or someone. Gotta keep busy. Also noticed a problem with clenching my teeth together in the morning when I wake up they are like that and also if I get stressed out during the day I will notice them clenched. Starting to hurt. May check with dentist cause I have heard of some kind of appliance but I just wondered if this has happend to anyone else?? Also chewing on cheek and lips... my whole mouth will be raw within a month!!! Do these crazy things go away???I have smoked since I was 15 or 16 and truely do not remember life without nicotine. Right now it is not fun but I'm hoping later on it will be. Alot of this memo is reaffirmation of what I already Know just helps sometimes to talk it out and know that your not the only one doing some really crazy things, "temporary things".
The cravings are tolerable right now just the anxiety and temper and I am hoping they go away soon. Smoking was a great time marker and passer and that is when I seem to want them the most...while I'm waiting for something or someone. Gotta keep busy. Also noticed a problem with clenching my teeth together in the morning when I wake up they are like that and also if I get stressed out during the day I will notice them clenched. Starting to hurt. May check with dentist cause I have heard of some kind of appliance but I just wondered if this has happend to anyone else?? Also chewing on cheek and lips... my whole mouth will be raw within a month!!! Do these crazy things go away???I have smoked since I was 15 or 16 and truely do not remember life without nicotine. Right now it is not fun but I'm hoping later on it will be. Alot of this memo is reaffirmation of what I already Know just helps sometimes to talk it out and know that your not the only one doing some really crazy things, "temporary things".
Invincible
02-06-2004, 01:15 PM
Have you considered talking to a counsellor about your baggage?
Several years ago I did a lot of talk therapy ... b4 that, when I tried to give up smoking, it was impossible! I always needed a crutch .......... since that time, I have managed to resolve most of my childhood issues (and I suspect some of your baggage will be pre-teens/early teens) ......... somehow, giving up your crutch will bring a lot of your emotions to the surface ....
clenching the teeth, chewing the gums etc... are all substitutes for smoking and vice versa ... you got to work out what emotions you are surpressing by doing that.
I too smoked from when I was 14/15 ... am 40 now, and have given up for 77 days!
Good luck, resolve your issues and never ever smoke again.
Several years ago I did a lot of talk therapy ... b4 that, when I tried to give up smoking, it was impossible! I always needed a crutch .......... since that time, I have managed to resolve most of my childhood issues (and I suspect some of your baggage will be pre-teens/early teens) ......... somehow, giving up your crutch will bring a lot of your emotions to the surface ....
clenching the teeth, chewing the gums etc... are all substitutes for smoking and vice versa ... you got to work out what emotions you are surpressing by doing that.
I too smoked from when I was 14/15 ... am 40 now, and have given up for 77 days!
Good luck, resolve your issues and never ever smoke again.
smartgal
02-06-2004, 01:53 PM
The time issue is funny. I was waiting for a friend in a restaurant. They asked me how long I was waiting. I had no idea. One cig = 10 minutes, two = about 25 (with a wait in between). I can't tell time anymore! I never used to have to check the time when cooking pizzas or coloring my hair, I'd just count the cigarettes!
It will get better, I promise. The tough part is realizing when you are really angry and when you are just unreasonably angry, then, of course, doing something about it without bitting someone's head off.
It will get better, I promise. The tough part is realizing when you are really angry and when you are just unreasonably angry, then, of course, doing something about it without bitting someone's head off.
Queen B
02-06-2004, 07:08 PM
Hey you actually made laugh!! And today that is not an easy thing to do. Glad to hear from another -I'll just have a cig while I wait person. As far as counseling goes I've had several years of it along with alanon because of a previous marriage to an abusive alcholic. Haven't really worked on me though if you know what I mean just trying to survive the marriage. I am now married to a great guy, we are just going through a rough time with the withdrawl and all. I'm trying to remember that I am wanting support from someone who is addictied to nicotine and have ing some of the same symtoms as me. I have not pressured him to quit. He has taken it upon himself to try I think because I did it and he wants to prove he can too. He;s going about it in a WRONG way but hey who am I to judge. He is cutting down but replacing with chew...I told him what I did and it worked...asked why not try what I did...but then let it go at that. I am trying not to bug him...he's got to want to do it. I'm just wondering if my tension mood anger and now crying jags are from depression???Been on anti depressants before (during the marriage from hell period of my life) but had panic attacks and all that going on. Now it's just the symptoms above but it sounds like depression. Not sure if I would want to go on medication if my body can work out the kinks on it's own. Thanks for listening.
smartgal
02-06-2004, 07:31 PM
Yes depression can be a side effect of quitting, that's why Zyban helps (well, one of the reasons). It is an antidepressant. It didn't work for me. I just got so jittery and smoked even more from nervousness! If you keep feeling depressed, get it checked out. Toughing it out can sometimes work, but my feeling is, if you don't have to, don't. But then again, I'm pretty lazy that way! Chew isn't a good idea, but at least the burning chemicals are gone. I always thought it was a disgusting habit because of all the spitting. I had considered going to nasal snuff, but just opted for the patches instead. I'll stay on them the rest of my life if it keeps me from smoking! Nicotine is harmful to some extent, but nothing like all the other garbage in cigarettes. Good luck and keep talking if it helps. I like to hear from other people. It helps to know I'm not alone.
Queen B
02-06-2004, 08:57 PM
I have noticed alot of messages stating the number of times that people have tried to quit or did quit then relapsed months or even years later...this is a little discouraging. I have only been able to quit one other time ( in 28 years) and that was for 10 months then started back due to a stressful situation. My point is I thought I was just stupid...I didn't realize lots of people start back once they stop. I started this whole thing kind of as a lets see what happens if I start smoking these low nicotine cigs (Quest). And from there it just snowballed into 12 days of no cigs 18 days of no nicotine. I do have a stubborn side let's just hope it pulls me through.
Deda
02-06-2004, 08:58 PM
I know what you mean guiltyg about what you're saying staying on the patch for life, (if you had to keep from smoking). I feel the same way. I'm still on the patch after 4 months, but you know, it's definitely okay because the alternative is smoking. (for me anyway). QueenB, know what you mean about the depression. I've gone through that everytime I've quit. (at least 10 x now). It will leave you soon. I think it's just a big shock to our body/brain...whatever, to take away something that was once there all the time. But trust me, it will get better. I still get a little blue at times even now if I let myself get bored and start thinking about it too much. Today I was outdoors, (nice day) and talking to people and busy and I hardly thought of it. I felt so happy, singing in my car, smiling all day, talking ...blah blah....But let my self sit around and think about those things (cigs) and BAM!...I start feeling very sorry for myself and feeling sad...it sucks! But you did just quit, so that's probably why, just give it a little more time and keep yourself occupied, read, play music, walk, call a friend, visit boards, whatever. Oh, and I think your guy will come around and quit later too. My DH quit 7 months before I did. It's no fun smoking alone after your partner quits. We used to go outside in the garage and smoke and talk and laugh together. Suddenly, I hated going out there alone. I even had the nerve once to ask him to come out with me and he told me to go to he (double hockey sticks).....hehe LOL!! ;)
Hang in there girl! Life does get better AQ..(after quitting)
DEDA :wave:
Hang in there girl! Life does get better AQ..(after quitting)
DEDA :wave:
LL29
02-07-2004, 11:36 PM
Hi Queen and yes being mean or depressed is definitely due to withdrawal or a very common side effect, BUT - it'll go away in due time. :)
I don't think your hubby should replace one with the other, but that's between the two of you and yes I agree with you and he prob. felt he HAD to quit because you did even though I'm sure deep down he knew he needed to as well. Just pray for each other and leave the BIG nasty subjects or conversations until after 2 weeks - then you should be leveled out (or 21 days) and functioning better with your new healthy life.
I'm confused on the replacement thing w/ the hubby because that's just as bad and just as highly addictive so it's either he plans on quitting that in a few weeks or ???? I hope he knows he can still get cancer from that and/or lose his jaw/lips, etc... I'm sure he does and maybe it's the best thing for him right now???? I feel bad for him because the pressure seems to be on him quite a bit since he didn't have the plan in his head to quit originally.
Just praise him ALOT for stopping smoking or BEATING the CHEMICALS (psychologically maybe that will trigger his brain that he's still putting just as much stuff in his system - it's not like he's on the patch). He better not be on the patch either because he could overdose that way. I would ask him why it is he chose snuff instead of the patches?
Good luck and keep up the great work :bouncing:
Laurie
I don't think your hubby should replace one with the other, but that's between the two of you and yes I agree with you and he prob. felt he HAD to quit because you did even though I'm sure deep down he knew he needed to as well. Just pray for each other and leave the BIG nasty subjects or conversations until after 2 weeks - then you should be leveled out (or 21 days) and functioning better with your new healthy life.
I'm confused on the replacement thing w/ the hubby because that's just as bad and just as highly addictive so it's either he plans on quitting that in a few weeks or ???? I hope he knows he can still get cancer from that and/or lose his jaw/lips, etc... I'm sure he does and maybe it's the best thing for him right now???? I feel bad for him because the pressure seems to be on him quite a bit since he didn't have the plan in his head to quit originally.
Just praise him ALOT for stopping smoking or BEATING the CHEMICALS (psychologically maybe that will trigger his brain that he's still putting just as much stuff in his system - it's not like he's on the patch). He better not be on the patch either because he could overdose that way. I would ask him why it is he chose snuff instead of the patches?
Good luck and keep up the great work :bouncing:
Laurie