The_Cheese_Man
02-17-2004, 04:04 PM
Hello
I was raised in a very strict religious household (Christian/Baptist) where everything revolved around the church (church, sunday school, prayer meetings, outings, suppers, summer camp, weekly house-to-house worship, christian schools, Christian training camp to prepare us for missionary work, Christian football...I mean everything!). We also received very strict discipline for even minor "infractions".
I don't regret any of this with the exception of the discipline which I think was totally unecessary at the level it was metted out and I do love my parents to death and have mostly fond memories of my childhood. We also see each other all the time since we both live in Barstow CA and we always have a blast together.
What really hurts me is that every time I bring up my OCD, they always tell me that the reason I have these problems is because of my lack of faith and obedience to God or it's a demon/devil making me feel this way (they don't believe in OCD). Since I suffer from scrupulosity as well as the obscessive form of OCD, this only makes things MUCH worse for me and then I really begin to doubt my faith and am convinced that I am going to burn in hell forever no matter WHAT I do (always a lovely thought). I always feel so dirty and sinful and evil all the time and I don't think they realize the impact what they say has on me.
What exactly will it take to get them to understand that I have a legitimate, doctor-diagnosed condition which a lot of other people also share with me?. My parents are ALL I have since I don't have any friends and yet they sometimes act like pre-programmed religious zombies with no personality at all and a one-track mind.
I love them so much so I could never come right out and say any of this to them for fear of hurting their feelings and I know it would'nt do any good anyway. They also don't believe in taking meds for my condition but rather, they tell me that I should ask God to heal me but then when I tell them I have already have, it then becomes "well, you have to have faith and follow him if you want him to answer your prayers" (Which I have also tried to do but apparently not "hard enough").
I just can't seem to win no matter what I do!. It's like the old Abott and Costello thing "who's on first?"
Ahhhhh....
I was raised in a very strict religious household (Christian/Baptist) where everything revolved around the church (church, sunday school, prayer meetings, outings, suppers, summer camp, weekly house-to-house worship, christian schools, Christian training camp to prepare us for missionary work, Christian football...I mean everything!). We also received very strict discipline for even minor "infractions".
I don't regret any of this with the exception of the discipline which I think was totally unecessary at the level it was metted out and I do love my parents to death and have mostly fond memories of my childhood. We also see each other all the time since we both live in Barstow CA and we always have a blast together.
What really hurts me is that every time I bring up my OCD, they always tell me that the reason I have these problems is because of my lack of faith and obedience to God or it's a demon/devil making me feel this way (they don't believe in OCD). Since I suffer from scrupulosity as well as the obscessive form of OCD, this only makes things MUCH worse for me and then I really begin to doubt my faith and am convinced that I am going to burn in hell forever no matter WHAT I do (always a lovely thought). I always feel so dirty and sinful and evil all the time and I don't think they realize the impact what they say has on me.
What exactly will it take to get them to understand that I have a legitimate, doctor-diagnosed condition which a lot of other people also share with me?. My parents are ALL I have since I don't have any friends and yet they sometimes act like pre-programmed religious zombies with no personality at all and a one-track mind.
I love them so much so I could never come right out and say any of this to them for fear of hurting their feelings and I know it would'nt do any good anyway. They also don't believe in taking meds for my condition but rather, they tell me that I should ask God to heal me but then when I tell them I have already have, it then becomes "well, you have to have faith and follow him if you want him to answer your prayers" (Which I have also tried to do but apparently not "hard enough").
I just can't seem to win no matter what I do!. It's like the old Abott and Costello thing "who's on first?"
Ahhhhh....
Sponsor
julieanneweb
02-17-2004, 05:04 PM
Hiya!
Wow! I can relate you your problems with your family. I am a Christian as well I have never been diognosed with OCD, BUT, my post was moved here and I am finding a lot of similarities of OCD and me. Hmmmm.....it is very interesting.
I think that it is so very sad that people do not see that there are real problems that are physical and not in the spiritual realm. Sometimes OCD is just OCD...I am not going to deny that there are times where illness can be used as a foot hold for the enemy, becuase I belive that to be true, but I do not believe that illness, menal or physical is caused by lack of faith or punnishment of God.. I suffer from depression. I have friends that feel my cure is only a prayer away. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Yes, I beleive God has the ability to heal...but I also beleive that God gave us medications and Doctors, loved ones, friends, understanding and compassion. What your parents feel is not a biblical perspective.....if that were the case ALL ailments, from colds, heartburn etc would be cause to doubt faith in God. I do not belive that the God of creation wants us to worry so incesently over Him.....I am so so sorry for your troubles....I hope they improve for you.....Julie :)
Wow! I can relate you your problems with your family. I am a Christian as well I have never been diognosed with OCD, BUT, my post was moved here and I am finding a lot of similarities of OCD and me. Hmmmm.....it is very interesting.
I think that it is so very sad that people do not see that there are real problems that are physical and not in the spiritual realm. Sometimes OCD is just OCD...I am not going to deny that there are times where illness can be used as a foot hold for the enemy, becuase I belive that to be true, but I do not believe that illness, menal or physical is caused by lack of faith or punnishment of God.. I suffer from depression. I have friends that feel my cure is only a prayer away. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Yes, I beleive God has the ability to heal...but I also beleive that God gave us medications and Doctors, loved ones, friends, understanding and compassion. What your parents feel is not a biblical perspective.....if that were the case ALL ailments, from colds, heartburn etc would be cause to doubt faith in God. I do not belive that the God of creation wants us to worry so incesently over Him.....I am so so sorry for your troubles....I hope they improve for you.....Julie :)
hangtenvetter
02-18-2004, 11:57 PM
Hey CheeseMan,
I agree with Julie. I've posted this before, but if you had a broken arm they'd expect you go to a doctor and get treatment. Research shows that OCD is a neurological problem, a real physical problem. If you explained it from a physical perspective it might make more sense to them. But their mind may be made up. Sadly, this is what I find in many, not all, Christian circles.
Sometimes Christians confuse things of the mind with "spirituality". This might throw you, but I am beginning to believe more and more that Christianity is less about us and more about God. For quite sometime in America a Baby-Boomer version of Christianity has flourished. The focus has been on what God does for the individual. An individualized-God-and-me thing popped up. With this view, God has become a Santa Claus of sorts; in return for our personal faith he grants us our health, wealth and all that. To support themselves rationally, the group has taken the Bible very literally and used it as an algebra to solve all of life's problems (including OCD). This group is usually very defensive and will not listen easily to anything coming from "the world" (modern psychology/psychiatry). This is because they see the world in black-n-white; God and the devil.
I agree with Julie. I've posted this before, but if you had a broken arm they'd expect you go to a doctor and get treatment. Research shows that OCD is a neurological problem, a real physical problem. If you explained it from a physical perspective it might make more sense to them. But their mind may be made up. Sadly, this is what I find in many, not all, Christian circles.
Sometimes Christians confuse things of the mind with "spirituality". This might throw you, but I am beginning to believe more and more that Christianity is less about us and more about God. For quite sometime in America a Baby-Boomer version of Christianity has flourished. The focus has been on what God does for the individual. An individualized-God-and-me thing popped up. With this view, God has become a Santa Claus of sorts; in return for our personal faith he grants us our health, wealth and all that. To support themselves rationally, the group has taken the Bible very literally and used it as an algebra to solve all of life's problems (including OCD). This group is usually very defensive and will not listen easily to anything coming from "the world" (modern psychology/psychiatry). This is because they see the world in black-n-white; God and the devil.
Flutegirl7
02-19-2004, 06:51 AM
Hi CheeseMan,
I am a Christian and have scrupulosity, too. Julie and Hangtenvetter have offered some great points.
If you don't think your parents are going to change, maybe you should try not bringing OCD up around them at all... since their very vocal opinions are only making it worse. Especially with scrupes, you don't need to hear the kinds of things that only strengthen the problem thoughts!
It sounds like you DO feel good about the course of treatment you are currently taking - and it sounds like you truly know that God does NOT frown upon it. Personally, although I believe in a healing God... I think in cases where we are able, maybe God expects us to put forth effort of our own... whether that means going to get help in the form of CBT, medicines, etc. You are certainly doing that! :)
If you find enough support here online (or maybe there's a group locally for you) then maybe it's best to just leave your parents out of the loop. You don't have to share everything with them, especially if they are only making things worse. *hugs*
~ flutegirl7
I am a Christian and have scrupulosity, too. Julie and Hangtenvetter have offered some great points.
If you don't think your parents are going to change, maybe you should try not bringing OCD up around them at all... since their very vocal opinions are only making it worse. Especially with scrupes, you don't need to hear the kinds of things that only strengthen the problem thoughts!
It sounds like you DO feel good about the course of treatment you are currently taking - and it sounds like you truly know that God does NOT frown upon it. Personally, although I believe in a healing God... I think in cases where we are able, maybe God expects us to put forth effort of our own... whether that means going to get help in the form of CBT, medicines, etc. You are certainly doing that! :)
If you find enough support here online (or maybe there's a group locally for you) then maybe it's best to just leave your parents out of the loop. You don't have to share everything with them, especially if they are only making things worse. *hugs*
~ flutegirl7
cherryfroggie7
02-19-2004, 08:25 AM
My heart goes out to you.... However, I don't think your family is going to change their minds. I don't know how long your kin have been saying these things, but your description leads me to believe that it has been going on quite some time.
I don't know how valuable my advice is, because I'm not in the same sitiuation, but it sounds like you need advice from all angles, so here goes.
I think, like the other posters, that you should seek treatment, on-line or in person, individually. No matter what, you shouldn't go on like this: it's agonizing mental torture. I would go see a doctor or get help from a support group.I hope everything turns out great for you; you seem like a wonderful person.
The best of luck,
-Leni
I don't know how valuable my advice is, because I'm not in the same sitiuation, but it sounds like you need advice from all angles, so here goes.
I think, like the other posters, that you should seek treatment, on-line or in person, individually. No matter what, you shouldn't go on like this: it's agonizing mental torture. I would go see a doctor or get help from a support group.I hope everything turns out great for you; you seem like a wonderful person.
The best of luck,
-Leni
sittee2b
04-07-2004, 01:02 PM
I'm am so sorry you are going through this. I am a Christian as well and I agree with Julieanneweb. What your parents are telling you is not a biblical perspective. Although I do believe that the powers of darkness can influence our obsessions and have a hand in our OCD it is not generally the case and it is certainly not caused by a lack of faith. I do know that there are certain Christians who believe this but it is not supported biblically. You can ask for healing and have all the faith in the world but it doesn't mean you will receive it. Ultimately it's Gods decision not ours. OCD is a real medical illness. As far as your parents are concerned the only thing I can think of is for you to go through the New Testament and find passages that relate to and contradict what your parents are telling you. If Illness was punishment or lack of faith why would Paul have suffered? Good Luck :)
Calv1502004
04-07-2004, 01:30 PM
Hi, im a christian aswell, its wierd when things like this happen with families, I thought id try and add a lil bit of my not so great christian knowledge but i'll see what I can do! Well first of all, punishment from god, the forgiving and loving god punishing one of his children with a mental illness.. Im sorry to say that that is a biblically flawed arguement! demons and devils is a little more interesting cause I suppose it could have something to do with the devil, lets face it, hardly a nice piece of work! How are these comments meant, in a kind of possesion type way? or just the devil being... the devil? There is a very good christian site www.christiananswers.net if you use the search on there and search for things like punishment or the devil it should give you loads of information and possibly a way of biblically explaining to your parents why it isn't a punishment from god! Anyway all the best, god bless
Calv
Calv
mspurplepirate
04-07-2004, 04:30 PM
Hey CheeseMan,
I agree with Julie. I've posted this before, but if you had a broken arm they'd expect you go to a doctor and get treatment. Research shows that OCD is a neurological problem, a real physical problem. If you explained it from a physical perspective it might make more sense to them. But their mind may be made up. Sadly, this is what I find in many, not all, Christian circles.
Sometimes Christians confuse things of the mind with "spirituality". This might throw you, but I am beginning to believe more and more that Christianity is less about us and more about God. For quite sometime in America a Baby-Boomer version of Christianity has flourished. The focus has been on what God does for the individual. An individualized-God-and-me thing popped up. With this view, God has become a Santa Claus of sorts; in return for our personal faith he grants us our health, wealth and all that. To support themselves rationally, the group has taken the Bible very literally and used it as an algebra to solve all of life's problems (including OCD). This group is usually very defensive and will not listen easily to anything coming from "the world" (modern psychology/psychiatry). This is because they see the world in black-n-white; God and the devil.
I just had to say that I totally agree with you!
I agree with Julie. I've posted this before, but if you had a broken arm they'd expect you go to a doctor and get treatment. Research shows that OCD is a neurological problem, a real physical problem. If you explained it from a physical perspective it might make more sense to them. But their mind may be made up. Sadly, this is what I find in many, not all, Christian circles.
Sometimes Christians confuse things of the mind with "spirituality". This might throw you, but I am beginning to believe more and more that Christianity is less about us and more about God. For quite sometime in America a Baby-Boomer version of Christianity has flourished. The focus has been on what God does for the individual. An individualized-God-and-me thing popped up. With this view, God has become a Santa Claus of sorts; in return for our personal faith he grants us our health, wealth and all that. To support themselves rationally, the group has taken the Bible very literally and used it as an algebra to solve all of life's problems (including OCD). This group is usually very defensive and will not listen easily to anything coming from "the world" (modern psychology/psychiatry). This is because they see the world in black-n-white; God and the devil.
I just had to say that I totally agree with you!
Calv1502004
04-08-2004, 08:43 AM
Tis post has been interesting me since I first read the story, it seems to me that your family are saying that a christian cannot suffer?! Biblically you are MORE likely to suffer if you are a christian because your rewards are in the next life not this one! Can anyone think of someone who suffered more than Jesus?!
Calv
Calv