Hey guys, I'm new here...18 year old male...here's my story

Exactly one year ago I received oral sex from a low-risk female.(high school fling type of thing) Well, wouldn't you know it, my OCD kicked into overdrive and I spent the next 7 months agonizing on whether I had received HIV from this potential exposure. Finally, I gathered the strength to get tested. Wouldn't you know it, I tested negative. It was an amazing load off my back. Unfortunately, the euphoria of knowing I didn't have HIV last only one week! As a sort of celebration, I went to a strip club with my friend. I got a lapdance, and my hand touched the strippers vagina with no penetration. After we left the club, we went to have some dinner, and I stupidly ate without having washed my hands. Aaaahh...wouldn't you know it, here comes the OCD. That was three months ago. For the past three months I've been in a depression wondering if I had HIV again. In a full blown depression, I once again foolishly went to a strip club to try and drown away my pain. Wouldn't you know it, I get a lapdance again. I didn't want to do anything that I didn't want to, but the stripper kept putting my hand inside her. I fingered her for quite a while. After we left the club, I look at my finger, and to my horror, realize I have a very small cut. (resembling a paper cut) Now, unless I cut my finger on her vagina, I don't think the cut was fresh. Still, here comes the OCD. Now, here I am, one week after the incident, wallowing in a deep, deep depression. I'm about to drop out of college because my grades will suffer if I keep going to class right now. I can tell you guys the symptoms I've had...weird dizziness, stomach/abdominal pains, tingling in hands...

I just don't know what to do.... :(

you just said you have OCD, try getting treatment for that right away. how can you think you got HIV from these encounters? did you read the post about fear? it just talks how it is all consuming. if HIV was that easy to catch we would all be in trouble and if you are so afraid of it then why keep putting your self in these sticky spots? i would go get tested one more time to ease your mind then put this all behind you AS YOU GO TO A DOCTOR for your mental health. dropping out of college is the silliest thing you could do because of this. not only are you letting this disease affect you on a profound level, it is something that you don't even have. please seek treatment, you don't have to live this way.

I can only provide you with reassurance. You could not have contracted HIV from the incident. It is just not possible. HIV is a very hard virus to catch. What I suggest is to drop by the health board for mental disorders. There are people there who have battled OCD, and won. Again I would like to reassure, you did not contract HIV. You are okay there. You need to let go of your HIV specific fear, and find out why it grew in the first place.

Thanks for the reply guys...unfortunately, it's not helping too much.

I'm really feeling bad and feel like I'm going to hit rock bottom pretty soon. Today, at the 2 week mark, I noticed I have this thing that looks like a red rash on the inner part of my elbow. It's not very big, but its there, and scary. I just went out and bought a new car today, and even that isn't making me happy. I have all these little things that feel weird in my body. Tingling in the arms/feet. Some nausea at night. Abdominal pain on both sides. Just an overall weirdness. I fear this is it. I know you guys said that I should seek help, but I feel there is no one I can talk to about this.

Dude,

You need to get a grip. It's so unlikely that you were infected with HIV and it sounds like you are making yourself sick. Don't do this to yourself.

Get tested. Having HIV and not doing anything about it is worse than knowing. Trust me on this.

Hello ;)

I brought this post up to give a little update. It's now been about 2 months since this last incident. I've managed to put my fear in the back of my head for the last couple of weeks, and am trying to get back to a normal life. Still though, the fear is there, like a nagging roadblock which won't let me completely move forward. I am at a major turning point in my life right now. There are other things going on that have the potential to change my life and make it a whole lot better, but this HIV fear is ruining those hopes! Anyway, it's been 2 months, so, do you suggest I test now, or just wait it out another month to make it the full 3? Thanks for your help guys. :)

I agree with mattj949b = lighten up! Go and get tested again if you are so worried! Stay away from strip clubs!