Today my father in law is coming over (30 years sober in AA) and my husband told him about me and I am sooooo nervous (we are supposed to "have a talk"--he had no idea). Plus, I have my meeting tonight and I didn't go to any others this past week, so I feel out of practice and nervous about that. My husband ended up working late, but I can't blame it all on him because I did neighborhood bunco on Friday instead of going to the meeting that is supposed to be so great for me that I still haven't gone to.

Well, today is my daughter's birthday but we did the festivities yesterday, so the hard part is over. (She thinks a blown-out candle is a broken one, so we let 2 sets of 3 burn to the ground until I finally just told her she could have a pacifier if she came up with me to bed. She just sat there with her little blue's clues birthday hat on staring and nearly falling asleep into the cake, refusing to let any one touch the cake and didn't even like us singing happy birthday! That's what you get with no nap!)

I slept so terribly last night. I know I shouldn't take a nap because then I won't be able to sleep tonight. I basically am just blah!!! All I am promising today is I will write down my pill intake and I will go to my meeting.

I hope today finds you all doing better.

rosie

Rose,

Is your father-in-law coming over just to talk with you? Why did your husband share this with him- did you want him to? Maybe he can be of some help to you? Try to look on the bright side- he obviously has alot of wisdom to offer being 30 years clean. I know it is a little nerve-racking though and my thoughts and prayers will be with you.

I still haven't made it to a meeting- I am just being a chicken! Don't know what to expect and that unnerves me. Plus, the time factor is always an issue (but shouldn't be an excuse, because like you, I played BUNCO Friday night)!

You two year old sounds like a little handful- I know my one year old (who will be two in a couple of months) is! She is spoiled rotten which is half the problem. She was born premature and spent several weeks in NICU and when I took my other two to see her, my son said she looked as little as a bug, so, that is what she is called..."BUG!" The joy of children, huh?

Hang in there, girl! I know today may be a "blan" one, but tomorrow will be better, hey, tonight, could be! Just focus on your goal and know that you are getting closer and closer. You are doing so good overall- try not to get down! We are all behind you and pulling for you.

I'll check in with you later. I will really be praying that God gives you strength and courage,
Michelle :)

P.S. Hey, have you read the book, "The Purpose Driven Life?" It is such a good book (especially in our situations). It is written by Rick Warren, I believe. PLEASE, PLEASE try to get that and read it- it will do you a world of good- okay? :)

Michelle, first of all, bless your heart for getting right back to me. I needed it! I have this list of numbers from NA. Tried to call one and it said leave a message so I just hung up and have been too scared to call any others.

I have a neighbor who has read that book and loves it and I believe the author is local out here? I'm not sure. But she has videos about it and everything. She is very evangelical but very respectful of my faith as well, so doesn't push it on me.

As far as my husband telling his dad, everyone in "the program" (lingo :)) said that it would be good for my husband and I to draw upon his wisdom and that he would be the one who could maybe explain that I need more than 1 or 2 meetings a week. But we had another discussion about that and he said he can't come home early more than that so I will have to look again at meetings with babysitting and/or weekend meetings.

anyway, I do need to get some immodium, so that I can try to catch up on my taper. Fil just called to say he was on his way, so I think I'll run out to the store. BTW, I thought fil was coming for my 3-year-old's birthday, but he just said oh my gosh, is it her birthday? I didn't bring a darn thing! LOL!! So I guess the answer is he was coming out to see me. He is 80 and losing it just a little tiny bit, but not too bad. He is a great guy, though.

Thanks for your prayers. Thanks for coming through for me. I feel like a new woman! Oh, and I enjoyed your comment about kinda squirming from not being able to respond. I bet Yinksy is chomping at the bit as well, so we wish them both luck, and hope they do go find the support (kinda?) that they can use. (Y already goes to meetings.)



luv rosie

Rosie - I laughed out loud when I heard your story about your little girl. It is so typical for little ones. I've got one for you that will make you smile... When my 8 year old was around 3, he had severe anxiety just like me. He was scared of everything. Well, my aunt took him to a festival they have here every year where they have bands, stuff for kids, face painting, etc. in the parks in Birmingham. Well, she was trying to park on the street (parallel park) and she accidentally hit the curb so the car jerked a little. Well, this scared the crap out of my little boy. So, then once she got the car parked, she made the comment 'We are never going to get out of here'. He started having the most severe panick attack and absolutely would not stop crying. I mean screaming crying. She called me from her cell and they were sitting under a tree in the rain while he was screaming his head off. She put him on the phone, not knowing what in the world he was crying for and I said "baby, what in the world is wrong?" Between him trying to catch his breath from crying so hard he said 'my aunt said we are never going to get out of here and I'm never going to see you again'. He was absolutely freaking out. So, I put my aunt back on the phone, told her to go to the car, pull out of the space and then pull back in. She did it and he finally saw that he wasn't stuck in the rain at the park in downtown Birmingham for the rest of his life.

You are going to be fine tonight. Be happy that your children are healthy and happy. Be happy that you have tapered so much and are going to meetings. Even though you haven't gone to every single one, at least you have gone and actually are getting something out of them. You should be VERY proud of yourself. You sat by kids who were required to go to meetings by a court order! What more can I say?????

Rosie - my computer's been acting up all day--off and on. So.....just a quick message to say hope your conversation with your father-in-law turns out to be a good one for both of you. You may even feel closer to one another afterwards, because you are sharing and helping one another with an important issue in your lives. I know that I would feel wonderful if I could help another person who's struggling with a major problem....so the two of you might be very good for one another!! I do believe that old adage that "a problem shared is a problem halved"!! Sharing will also lead to better understanding of how two very different generations have learned to cope in their era's particular "morals" of the period. In fact...your conversation should be very interesting!! Hope you both learn more about one another...and feel closer from now on. Let us know how it goes. Lynn :)