Hey I'm new here and have a question. I recently started taking hydrocodone pills about 2-3 times a week just for the feeling. I'm 26 and have been an alcoholic, weed smoker, and cocaine user since I was 15. I'm sick of that kind of lifestyle so 10 days ago I checked into a detox place and have quit the drinking, weed smoking, and hard drug use. However I feel like I need something every now and then to relax. So I have stuck with this Hydrocodone thing that I started about a month ago. I take about 8-10 pills of 10/325 strength hydrocodone 2 or 3 days a week. It is great for relaxation. I also take xanax with about the same frequency. So far I have no ill effects from this like I did with the alcohol and drug use. Am I playing with fire here or do you guys think I can keep it at this level and be ok?

You ARE playing with fire. Hydrocodone is an opiate, very much like heroin. I'm sure most people here would concur that given your status as an addict, you will certainly begin increasing the dosage, and there is no good ending. The withdrawals are insane and LONG LASTING. I am on day 9 of withdrawals, and still incapable of walking around the house or eating or sleeping. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is not a "hard" drug...pharmaceutical grade pain killers are just as bad as street stuff, and I would guess there at least as many people addicted to them as heroin, if not more. Please stop before it gets worse!

I do believe many people can take pain pills in moderation and never become addicted, I'm not one of those people. Looking at your past history, I think you know you are playing with fire. Trust me you do not want to go down this road! You can just read on this board at some of the/our horror stories because of these pills. Put them down now, while you still have a choice.

B

justin my friend you have problems that should be addressed....uno, you like to get high as we all have except this place is for people who have used drugs and have payed the piper for that usage.....i started out by eating 3 7.5 hydros and elevated until i could eat 50 and not feel that buzz...you chase the high the same as a coke user and will never find that buzz again...how naive you are to think you wont be an addict.....and what you are doing is drug abuse..thers no difference between the hydro usage and smokin dope or usin coke.....i dont think too many folks around here will condone you usin the drugs to get high...this forum is for folks who were already ther and are on the road to recovery...yes you are playing with fire and no,i dont think youll be ok keeping it at that level along with usin benzo's like xanax....people have died combining the two and thought they were within their level....and if you are sick of that kind of lifestyle why would you want to still get high...what do you need to escape from reality from....to relax...not good enough for me,sorry.........chef

I am almost 33 and at around your age, I started playing w/hydro use... I would get them for real pain, but would continue to take them until the prescription was gone, even though the pain didn't last the whole time. Then, I would take one or two from a friend here and there. Before it was over, I was spending thousands of dollars a month on lortabs and taking over 20 lortab 10s per day. I was in withdrawals more times than I can count because I would run out of money. I recently filed bankruptcy because I spent all of my money on pills instead of paying my house payment. Guess what, I'm a Vice President of a bank that is a single mother with three small children. Guess what else? I watched my mother abuse drugs my whole life and she finally took too many lortabs and died from the tylenol overdose. KILLED HER! If you think you can control it, you are sadly mistaken. Why would you think you can take pain pills, one of the most addicting things ever and still be o.k.? I just don't get it... What I really don't understand is that were you awake during your detox? Did you not hear other people's stories? What was your detox like? You are an addict... whether it's drinking, coke, pot, or pain pills.... it's all about changing how you feel. You want to 'escape reality' or you are just simply bored with life and want to 'have fun'. Let me tell you... speaking from experience, I'm now on a maintenance drug called Suboxone that I will have to take probably for the rest of my life because I became so terribly addicted to pain pills. It's all the same thing... a drug is a drug is a drug!!! Hyrdos killed my mother and they almost killed me. The thing is, I knew exactly what they would do.... yet I still got addicted. THAT'S how bad they are. They will teach your brain that you cannot live your life without them and to do anything to get them, no matter what the costs are. Please, we are not being mean... we are trying to save your life. Stop them now!

I WAS addicted to vicodins and norco's and if you are taking it for the feeling then your half way there.It's a very hard thing to come off of the longer your on it so I would think about stopping NOW!I abused them for about 2 years and I was a very heavy user and I started out just like you did.I hope for the best for you and pray you make the right decision.

Stay Strong,
Ken

Hey I'm new here and have a question. I recently started taking hydrocodone pills about 2-3 times a week just for the feeling. I'm 26 and have been an alcoholic, weed smoker, and cocaine user since I was 15. I'm sick of that kind of lifestyle so 10 days ago I checked into a detox place and have quit the drinking, weed smoking, and hard drug use. However I feel like I need something every now and then to relax. So I have stuck with this Hydrocodone thing that I started about a month ago. I take about 8-10 pills of 10/325 strength hydrocodone 2 or 3 days a week. It is great for relaxation. I also take xanax with about the same frequency. So far I have no ill effects from this like I did with the alcohol and drug use. Am I playing with fire here or do you guys think I can keep it at this level and be ok?


:nono:

Dude, wake up and smell the coffee!!!!!! Sure, getting high is great, don't let anyone tell you that it is not. I crack up each time that the DARE program comes to our classroom and tells us how bad drugs are. Everyone wants to feel good and darn it all, drugs make you feel good, for awhile and then as you know, you are chasing the dragon. I have been hooked on Xanax for 12 years. Every six months I go through a complete withdrawl and then don't sleep for a few days. I take a Xanax and wham, I am back to addiction. Luckily you can't die from a Xanax overdose. As for hydrocordone, that you can die from. They just don't do it for me. I take a pain pill and NADA, nothing except that I can't sleep for days. I can't say the same for my siblings. I have had a sister and a brother die from opiates and one who is an addict. I also have a niece who is a third generation addict. I guess that I am just lucky that the pills don't work for me. I have tried them all. I even tried heroin. No nodding for me. I knew that they would never work for me when I went to the emergency room for a migrane. I weigh anywhere from 100 to 110. They gave me a shot of morphine, nothing. They came in and gave me another. Again, nothing. They were worried because of my weight and the amount that they could give to me. They gave me another. At this point my eyes were bulging out, my heart was racing. I couldn't move but I couldn't shut my eyes either. I was all amped up without being able to move. NEVER again. I watch my friends do oxycontin and do the nod. We call them the oxycontin kids. I have seen these kids lose everything for the nod. I am just so glad that for some reason opiated don't do it for me. Why not stick to pot? Don't let rehab tell you how bad it is. If you can hold down a job and still smoke a little in the privacy of your own home and you feel the need to get high, a little herb is the way to go. The docs even prescribed it for my ninety year old granny.

Why take chemicals when herb is available with a script? I know, I know, I am a chemical addict, but like opiates, herb doesn't do a thing for me. Not even put me to sleep, just makes me hungry. :D

You can overdose from any drug.
http://www.drug-overdose.com/xanax.htm

Absolutely - My doctor told me the only thing you cannot overdose from is TUMS. You can overdose and DIE from any drug! Who in the world told you that you cannot overdose from xanax? That is really dangerous to say when it's not true. Be careful, anything can happen. We've had a member of this board die recently for overdosing on pain meds and benzos. However, my mother overdosed from hyrdos alone. No other meds were listed in her autopsy report. Drug addiction leads to death, if not stopped!

Banker,

If you don't mind me asking, and I probably won't be able to respond as we are getting ready for be (have to get up at 4:00), just how exactly did your mother die? In her sleep? Liver disease? How many was she taking a day? If it is not too painful, I would love to hear that whole story.

Thank you for sharing,
michelle

Absolutely - My doctor told me the only thing you cannot overdose from is TUMS. You can overdose and DIE from any drug! Who in the world told you that you cannot overdose from xanax? That is really dangerous to say when it's not true. Be careful, anything can happen. We've had a member of this board die recently for overdosing on pain meds and benzos. However, my mother overdosed from hyrdos alone. No other meds were listed in her autopsy report. Drug addiction leads to death, if not stopped!

Banker, I'd like to hear more about your mom too. But wanted to comment, ironically, my chiropractor just yesterday gave me an article about how bad tums (or any form of calcium carbonate (sp?)) used as a calcium supplement is really really bad for you! Plus, I agree, you definitely can od from xanax, although people say that it is not a sure route to suicide if you take too many, although it is not an absolute certainty, it is a high enough probability.

rosie

Justin;

The answer is NO to your question.

Simply NO

Read some stories here and find that most of us started recreationally and most of us got hooked.

Answer is NO

Rosie - I didn't realize that... Why are they so bad for you? I have heartburn so much that's my primary source of calcium??? I remember when I was pregnant asking him how many tums I could take because I was chewing about 15 a day and he said I could chew as many as I needed, that it wasn't bad??? Oh goodness.. and I did that while I was pregnant??

Anyway - my mother... the thing is, we really don't know how many she took... She was getting them from one particular doctor who was simply a crook and he's now in jail (not because of my mother but because he simply got caught being a 'drug doctor'). Anyway, that makes me happy, that he's paying for being so horrible and giving her all of the pills. Anyway, she was getting tons from him. I remember days before her death speaking with her on the phone and I could hear in her voice that she was 'messed up'. I was very rude to her because I HATED it when she was on pills. She would go months being on them and then months being off. She was in so many rehabs I can't even tell you how many. One time, we put her in the hospital (I was very young, maybe 5) and they put her in the phyc ward. Well, the hospital was negligent and some man went into her room and raped her. Needless to say, she sued the hospital and won, but not much $$. This was kept from me my whole life because I was too young at the time for anyone to tell me what had happened. I didn't find out until after she died what really happened. I am the baby of the family... Anyway, I just remember her being messed up and I was the one that called her this particular time so when I would talk to her and realize that she was on pills, I would immediately say 'I've got to go' very rudely and hang up. I wanted her to know that I did not condone her pill usage and I was that way ANYTIME she was on pills. I just didn't even want to look at her or have anything to do with her. Of course, when I was younger, I didn't have a choice because I lived with her most of the time and I had to 'be nice' so I could go somewhere with my friends or whatever. Being alone with her was my worst fear. I hated the responsibility of trying to make sure she didn't kill herself with a cigarette or fall down the stairs or whatever. Anyway.... don't know why I went into all of that.... The thing is, we just don't know how many she was taking at the time. I do know she was definitely on a 'drug binge' which we all know what that is about. We all just assumed that she just kept taking them, maybe forgetting how many she had taken or something. We just don't know what her mindset was... We definitely know it was not suicide... it was accidental. She was married to this man who also used to get her pills and keep her doped up as much as he could, otherwise she would leave him periodically. He was a loser. She died by herself. He was working nights and when he got home, she was on the couch, sort of slumped over and she was dead. I hate to get graphic here but she had a little bit of vomit coming out of her mouth and there were pills spilled around her, like maybe she was trying to take more when she died. The autopsy report said it was liver failure from the acetametaphin (msp??). They called it 'acetametaphin poisening'. I also read where it takes several days to actually die from this... It was on a rainy Friday and my oldest sister called me at work, asking me to come and pick her up and take her to my mother's house. She was crying and telling me that she called over there and my mother's sister in law told her that her husband was 'trying to revive her'. Of course, my sister was crying hysterically. I just thought it was another one of those times and that they would need to take her to the hospital and have her stomach pumped (which happened more times than I can count). Anyway, I picked her up and we drove up to my mother's house. The police were there and my mother was still inside the house. They would not let either of us go inside (which I did not want to anyway). All I remember thinking was 'well, she finally did it'. I knew in my heart that it would happen one day. I absolutely knew it. She just could not control her addiction. Of course, I hated her for it. I hated her for putting pills before her children. I had so much anger because I basically was as neglected as they come growing up because of her pill usage. It was horrible. I could tell you guys so many stories of our lives literally being on the line because of her. One time I was sick at school and she didn't realize that she was going to have to be driving in the middle of the day but the school called her and told her to come and pick me up. I cannot believe she even made it to the school, she was so messed up she was shaking and her eyes were barely open. (She was abusing Soma's then). Anyway, I was about 13 and had to force her to let me drive home. It was a stick shift, which I had never driven before at all but somehow, we made it home o.k. God took care of me growing up. He was all I had and I know he was working overtime to make sure that I was mature enough and smart enough to ensure that my mother did not end up killing us all. Again, burning down the house, bringing in strange men to give her drugs, I could go on and on. It's a miracle that I'm even half way sane. And what's even more amazing is that I allowed myself to get just as addicted as her. That just shows you that addiction can happen even if you are aware of the risks, even if you've seen it first hand. It can take you and pull you straight down to hell. I often think of me treading water while I was taking pills... and then it got me and pulled me under the water. I was fighting to keep my head up and I couldn't. I didn't want my children to find me dead one day so that's why I finally went and got on Suboxone. Again, I cannot take the risk of drowning in pills so I will be on it probably forever. My goal in life, no matter what else is to ensure that my children have as normal of a life as they can. And for them to know that I love them more than life itself. I never, ever had that and I will not put them through what I went through. I was almost there, though. Moral of the story - addiction can and will happen if you play around with drugs or drinking. It WILL get you. And to all who have children - if you think they do not know what you are doing, you are dead wrong. Even extremely young children... they know! Please, either stop cold turkey or go get on Suboxone. Do whatever you have to do to get off of drugs. Again, I wish I could say that I am clean without having to have a maintenance drug but I thank God multiple times a day that I am on Suboxone. At least I'm able to be here for my children, because I certainly wasn't there for them while I was abusing pills. I really thought I was, but I wasn't. I'm sorry this post is so long, I just feel so strongly about being able to tell my story and that hopefully, it might help someone realize what they are doing to others around them, especially innocent children that cannot help it that you are there mother or father. Doesn't everyone want to be the best parent they can be? Don't screw up your childrens' lives. Not to mention, your own.

Banker--Unfortunately, I only have a minute to read today's messages--but I've just read your story--and it is so emotionally overwhelming (and told as if it just happened--which I'm sure you feel as if it has)--that I had to just let you know how much it touched me..and shocked me...and how saddened I felt about your "childhood"--which never was. I'll write more tomorrow. Lynn

You can overdose from any drug.
http://www.drug-overdose.com/xanax.htm

:bouncing:

Out of curiosity I went to that site and then followed that site to another and then down a rabbit hole of sites about Xanax but can't find one instance of a death caused directly by an overdose of Xanax. There have been ones when other factors are involved but no "Xanax related deaths" without another drug involved.

I tried to do it once to just to see if it could be done. I took the entire bottle. I just slept for a few day. I asked the docs and they told me that it couldn't be done. This is one of the reasons that it is so popular, little chance of overdosing and no reported deaths.

Banker, it's late, but I just read your post. Wow. First of all, re the tums, I have an article that she gave me and I'll try to summarize if for you. It might not be bad for everyone, as I have kidney stones, but as far as calcium absorption goes, it is overrated. As for your mom, it reminds me so much of my first husband's experience with his dad, who was an alcoholic. When his dad died, he was so, so happy.

Thank you for sharing that with us. And thank you for the more reminding we need that addicts that use are not good parents, and we are lying to ourselves if we think we are. I feel so for you, as my first husband shared so much of the horror he lived with as a child, and ultimately he took his own life. He used to beg his mom to leave his dad and she never would. Now I can't believe I am the one ruining lives. I will I will beat this. Well this kept me on my taper another day!!

Bless you, Banker,

rosie

Banker - not sure you'll read this thread, as it has several topics on it...but it's the one where you told the story of your mother...so I'll stick to it.

I kept thinking this morning how different my life would have been if I did not have parents who put my protection and my achievements first in their life. I wasn't spoiled--but I was cared for--and no matter how annoyed I might have become at times because of strong disagreements with my parents--I always knew that. And knowing that, actually gave me the leeway to yell and argue as a teen--because I knew nothing I did would change how they cared about--and for--me. I never doubted that they would be there...and it was not until my mother began her descent into dementia that the roles reversed. (My Dad died of heart disease in 1977.) Up until then, my Mom was the sort of mother who drove into the city to visit me, with a dozen rolls of toilet paper in case I ran out) :D -- or two containers of homemade chicken liver--one marked for me and Brian...one marked for Oliver--my dog!!!

I doubt I would have survived the way you have...or done so much with my life, as you have, if I had not had this security blanket around me up until my 50's!!! We were always Mom's "girls"--and though she was never free and easy with lavish praise of us :D --we knew how she felt. And vice versa.

Childhood to me was beaches, bikes, sledding, homemade clubhouses, carnival rides, etc, etc. Of course it was not all idyllic. But it was always safe. It sounds as if you were never a "child." As if you could never put your guard down and let others care for YOU. That kind of security for children is so important....and you are obviously making sure your own kids have it.

What I remembered this morning was this postcard we once gave to my cousin, who had an awful family life...the card said "It's never too late to have a happy childhood!" And I was thinking that you should make sure that is true for yourself. Do all the stuff you were entitled to--but might not have done and enjoyed--as a kid. Ride roller coasters, dig sandcastles, fly kites, climb rocks, etc.... (By the way, at least you have kids you can do this with so you don't look absurd...I still like to do the stuff I've just mentioned--and at my age, I must look ridiculous!!) :jester: (Actually, I climb rocks with my dogs!!) Nothing will ever make up for your mother's illness and inability to care for you properly...I imagine that it is never far from your mind. But I do hope you can rediscover the fun of being young and exuberant--with your kids.

I don't think it is surprising that you turned to drugs when you realized they lessened the mental pain as well as the physical. Anything that dulls those memories is bound to be a temptation. So, the benefits of the Suboxone, which curbs those temptations, is well worth, at some point, perhaps having to deal with the difficulty of coming off them. Then again....I don't plan to come off my Prozac, which is also a drug with no long-term studies yet. And you might not need to come off your Suboxone. In any case, it is giving you your life back. And your children's. And I'm very happy for you. I just had to let you know how affected I was with your story...and I realize that so many people on this board must have grown up in similar circumstances. All the friends I grew up with had parents much like mine....so, reading your story was very affecting. It's one thing to read in all my psychology books about the effects of an abusive childhood...but it's another to hear the story told by someone you've come to know...even just a little.

I'm so glad your current life is making up for your childhood! :) You deservie it! Lynn

Thank you!!! I, like yourself, sometimes think about how I would be if I had a 'normal' childhood, with security and love and stability. I always said I am the person that I am because of my childhood, which at the time, was a good person with no addictions. Now, I still had tons of anxiety but I was living my life with my kids, and working my butt off so that I could advance at the bank. For whatever reason, my career has been my stability and security. I give a lot to my job and have achieved a lot in banking with no college education. I have a lot of really good friends where I work and I have one person who 'takes care of me'. She's been good for me as far as pulling for me on promotions and ensuring I get the 'visible' projects so that I can get even more exposure. She is currently my manager but there have been times when I've worked in other areas under different managers but I would always go to her when I needed help. She likes to be the 'caretaker' of me. She always calls herself my 'mother'. I know exactly what you mean about trying to get some of my childhood back and I really do that now. I have several people in my life that sort of take care of me. Most of them are older women and I'm sure it's because I never had that growing up. Anyway, now that I've become an addict, I cannot be so proud of myself for overcoming my childhood and bringing myself out of that horrible world. However, I do realize that I turned to drugs to escape the memories and I'm proud that at the very least, I got on Suboxone. I guess I could be still abusing pills, although my children would have been taken away from me by now because we would have literally been homeless... at the rate I was going. Anyway, I am on the right mix of drugs now, lexepro, xanax and sub and I'm just taking it one day at a time and trying to be the best mom I can be. I really didn't tell my story because I wanted pity, I just want people to be aware of what drugs do to you and your children and how they could very well turn to drugs when they get older because of what they were exposed to or because of their genes. Lynn - your childhood sounds like a dream to me. I just cannot imagine who I would be if I had that. Right now, I'm really bad about having to have attention... another reason why I try so hard at work. I LOVE positive attention and feedback. I would rather receive verbal praise in front of a group of people from a higher level manager than a raise. Isn't that nuts? That's how desperately I crave attention and acceptance. It's so odd. It's funny, I was just speaking to my counselor the other day, who by the way, also is one that emotionally takes care of me and is there for me. Even though I pay her, I know she really does care about me. I've been going to her for about 4 years now. She's absolutely wonderful and she knows me so well. She knows that I love attention and crave it. She also knows that my goal is to be a responsible parent. She actually said the other day that since I don't really know what that is because i've never had it, she has to help guide me through being a parent and doing the right thing. She really is wonderful. Anyway, thank you for your kind words. I try to think I'm a stronger person because of what I went through but in reality, I'm probably just a kid trying to hang on each day to whatever that day has in store. I can tell you this... I AM a fighter. I fight for what I need and want. One additional character in me that I HATE is that I'm extremely self centered. The reason is because I always had to ensure that I had the bare essentials and I knew that nobody else was going to take care of me so I had to do it. This has caused me to be wrapped up in my life and pretty selfish at times. I can't help it though. It's just an instinct that I cannot seem to shake. K- sorry for the long post. And Rosie --- keep up that taper. Obviously, you are very patient and are doing a great job. I couldn't do it. I am very proud of you and Lynn, you know I'm proud of you too for dropping your pill usage as well. You guys have a great weekend. It's absolutely beautiful here in Alabama today... sunny and 60 degrees. Of course, I'm in my apartment on the computer. The kids are with their dads this weekend so it's MY weekend and there is nothing better than plopping my fat butt on the couch and vegging out to some t.v. Take care guys and thank you for your support and concern.
To Betty - why on earth would you take a whole bottle of xanax? Are you trying to kill yourself? You can die from this. I knew a guy in Memphis who overdosed on Valium alone... no drinking, no other drugs, nothing. Seriously, are you suicidal? It concerns me that you took a whole bottle simply 'to see if it could be done'.. what if you had died? What are you going through right now?

:bouncing:

rosie quote:To Betty - why on earth would you take a whole bottle of xanax? Are you trying to kill yourself? You can die from this. I knew a guy in Memphis who overdosed on Valium alone... no drinking, no other drugs, nothing. Seriously, are you suicidal? It concerns me that you took a whole bottle simply 'to see if it could be done'.. what if you had died? What are you going through right now?

Why did I take a whole bottle of Xanax? Not to kill myself. I like to experiment and take things to the edge, peeking over to see what it at the bottom. I had read everything that I could about this particular drug. I could not find one death attributed to it. I was taking eight one mg a day at the time, at night, for sleep. No matter how many I took I could not get to sleep. I wasn't taking them for anxiety, as I was never a shy person. Ten years later, still taking them, not eight, but two a night, I have developed social anxiety. Not shy, just don't like to be around a lot of people. I attribute this to the drug. This coming from a person who used to hike all over the US by herself and who followed the Grateful Dead for twenty-five years, from parking lot to parking lot. I find it hard to believe it myself.

I really appreciated your story about your child hood. I have two daughters who would tell a simular story about their lives. At the time I was just living in the moment and trying to take care of my kids and stay out of the looney bin. That is one promise that I have made my husband make to me on our wedding day, no looney bins.

For the *banker*. You said that you are on Prozac and that you have no plans of getting off of it. You also said that there have been no long term studies done on it. That is a drug that I run from. My fiance of 15 years died about twelve years ago. I was a happy person until that moment in time. When I was given the news I felt myself break. I crawled into a ball and covered up my mind. The doctors gave me Prozac. They started me out on one a day and worked me up to 80mg a day. I was suicidal. I had not been before the drug. I laid in bed and thought up ways to kill my husband and how to bury him in the back yard and not get caught. I told my husband what I was thinking. My daughter, who was sixteen at the time, was so scared that she moved out. My husband loved me enough to stay and work with me on it.
I didn't have access to a computer at that time so had to do actual leg work on reseaching what was happening to my mind and body. I wouldn't eat. People thought that I had AIDS, I was so thin. It killed my sex drive as well as my appetite for food and life.
I went out and bought a book on Prozac called, "Talking Back To Prozac". In there they quote several studies that have been done and the side effects. I took that book to my doctor and was going to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Then I thought about it. If is was doing this to me, what was it doing to other people who were taking it? I called the author of the book and set up a Prozac Survivors Group in the state where I lived. There were groups all over the world. I received so many calls that I eventually stepped down from the position as it was scarring me.
Every case where a mother has killed her child, that has been on the news in the last ten years, anti-depressants have been involved. When OJ was being chased down the freeway they stated that he was on Prozac.
I am not trying to convince anyone to go off of the drug. If it works for them and there are no side effects, great, but I have yet to meet one person who didn't experience side effects. I had friends taking it that didn't even realize that they were wigged out. They had to have interventions done on them. For a long time I knew that I was feeling strange but I was so crazy that, like the woman who killed her children, I thought that I would be doing my husband a favor by killing him.
The doctors don't really know how these drugs work. They are using the public to figure out the effects. The easiest way to explain it is how Microsoft Windows was explained to me by a computer tech. The programmer writes a program. They can't possibley know all of the possible scenerios. They release the program to the public. I believe that it started with Windows '95. Customers would call in with complaints. With each complaint logged they would find a solution and tweak the program. Each time that they released an new program they had fixed problems that they had with the last program. We are now, how many Windows programs later and they still don't have all of the programs worked out? Some people didn't have problems with the first one so didn't switch out. Others found ones that worked for them or not. Same with meds. Each person is such an individual with so many different factors playing into them that the doc messes with your meds until he finds the one that is right for you. I am happy for you if it is Prozac. Some are still taking the old anti-depressants. Some are taking the news one, Celexa, etc. Some are taking drug cocktails.

Rosie: I don't have time to go into it right now, and I am sure not one to one up anyone, but let me tell you about my child hood someday. My entire family could have been on Jerry Springer. What really cracks me up is that when my mom sees that show she says, "How could those people go on tv and talk about their lives, I just don't understand it". I say, how could they not. For beginners.....once upon a time there was a mom and dad with six kids. Mom had a dream that she went into a store to pick up a few groceries, leaving the six kids out in the car alone. Her attention is grabbed by people screaming. She runs out to the car only to find that they are saying that one of the kids has died. She wonders to herself, "Which one?". She looks down to see what dress she has on and then wakes up never knowing which one of her children has died in her dream. This is a reoccuring night mare for years in which my mom wakes up screaming, "Which one?"
First my brother dies, two years older than me. I had gone to see a rock concert that day and wouldn't give him my extra ticket. I sold it at the show. He had new born twins and I thought that he should stay home with them. His girlfriend set him up to get robbed at a shipment of a pound of pot came in that day. He was gut shot while his children lay sleeping in the next room.
Liz, my heroin addict who supported her habit with hooking sister, was beat to death by her husband two years later almost to the month.
Mike, another brother was found dead in his apartment from a morphine overdose two years later.
My oldest brother is an addict.
My youngest brother is an addict.
The twins turned out to be dealers and addicts.
My sister's daughter is sitting in jail for grand theft from my grandmother to support her heroin habit.
My brother's girlfriend had another child seven months after his death giving the twins a baby brother. He is in jail. He is an addict.
I have been an addict for my whole entire life. I just change drugs of choice. Right now it is Xanax. Had it stayed heroin or cocaine I surely would be dead.
My husband is a recovering addict.
The funny part is, my grandmother, who is 99 hasnever taken so much as an aspirin in her life.
My daughter can relate to your story. The father of her child came home from school one day to find his mother dead in the front yard. It was a small town and the coroner was not in that day. She laid there for hours until someone covered her up.
As for my kids, I cringe to think of the stories that they tell about thier lives with me.
Death surrounds me,
Death envelops me,
Death will consume me.
I am not afraid of death. I have stood at its door and it has turned me away.
At the age of eighteen, tired of addiction, tired of life, I consumed 59 Seconal that I had bought from my dealer that day. They knew that I had taken 59 as I had bought 100 for $10.00 and I had 41 left in the bag. I went into cardiac arrest. I was dead for over three minutes. I have no idea why I came back but to tell my story someday. Some day there will be a book.
But fo right now, I am just enjoying the ride>>>>>>> :D