Don't get excited it was drug induced. But it was for about 18 hours on and off and I am scwred on just a little better now and I finally got some people to wake up and pay attention. I will try and put a clearer picture on every thing.As the dope addict I am I aways have a few one or two extra for when it gets to the point of selling my soul. which is not for sell anymore. and trust me 8 this morning I am on my shrinks door steppes Guilt yes shame yes all the pros in my life know about the pills I took a xanex an adivan and 40 mg of ambian I had to do some thing but when I got up with a cllearer head I know what I was doing and yes even though it killed my pride I when to a noon meeting. Cordinator came to the house and we when throu all the pill bottles I then had the doc spent an hour with me for a new attack plan NO XANAX that is some wicked stuff for me it has that warm rush like herion did and I told them that even through I liked it I can't be on it. so for the weekend it is 4 mg of klonipin and 20 of sonata whichis like ambiean a little different since I have been on the ambian the longest we though we would try it. monday I go back depending on how the weekend I might monday have to go to a sub acute hopital for an over all on my meds. we get passess and its like two blocks from the house although me cat is going to pissed she'll get over it. oh yea I do not have ocd. I have borderline personality disorder and post tramatic stress disorder.at 15 I was diagnosed with parinoa scitsofrania? But i'm them days I was in y.a. and any one with a behavior problem they want to sick on meds I won't take them come on thorazine I am not a shoffulle Queen. I learned to cover things up good. You know I just have some things in my mind that people have caused and s--- really in my mind alot. when my mom died things started really comming out I couldn't handle it It's been nine years I sstill don't understand yea face it my mom waaaas sick but shee would have given you the shirt off her back It was the alcohol and although my hart knows I was there in the end it shoiuld have been more. may be they will find a answer onr dae hey may-be my lessoneson from the
gods just are not done with my lessons. who know. the point is I got hoest with the right peopel including you. you always seem to be here for me with kind words and some times it is that simple. I want to think of some thing clever to say give me a min. Some times You have to get in their face to be heard, inappropriate? my-be! you are calling them on their s---. The point is you stick to you guns no matter what if you shearch your soul deep enough you will find the way with out copmprmizing your self we all f--- up it is not how we fall but how well we rise aftter the fall.
" i am quoating Heather I love my CYber family thanks for your support.
God Walks in front Goddess besides always equil Never more powerful never weaker all ways the same. " Please don't get offended my spirits who lead my life Are not done with this life and I need to remind my self of that offten
I really do love you guys.
Knowlege is knowlege
wisdom is wisdom
but knowlege is wisdom so us it
Who ever you walk with when you give up they always have you.
may they all watch over you
Goddess Bless
Stacey

I know I am corney But I can't apolgize for it. It is the side I love the best

Hi sis-
Good..im so glad you finally got some sleep...YAY!!!
I know that horrible feeling..once i didn't sleep for 14 days-kicking..noooo!
I love your..'poetic side"..not corny..sweet.You have had a wild ride..me too.
I have PTSD/panic disorder..yesterday..bad panic attack..forgot to take meds..and i was running home.
So-you must feel alot better today..there is nothing worse..than no sleep for days-you feel insane.
Hows the class?
My boys up-i better go..
wanted to say..hi.
xox heather