This is the first that I have posted a message here, although like many others, I have read many of the threads and posts by people. I would first like to say that it is good to know that other people share my concern that I have for HIV. I have spent so much time in the past week looking at stuff on the internet, getting myself all worked up, like many of us do, and for what, to look at statistics and pages that contain false and misleading information. That is not to say that all pages are bad, but everyone knows that the internet contains about roughly 10 billion pages and there can be a lot of "crap" contained in them. Anyways, my story is similar to other peoples and different at the same time.

The first time I had intercourse was with a girl that was older than me, she was 28 and I was 21, and it didn't last very long, it only went on for about 3 minutes and I didn't cum inside her. It was the only time I ever slept with her and when I look back at it I seriously regret it because it is just not worth it. For one night some people trade the rest of their lives without even realizing it. Anyways, 2 weeks ago I was diagnosed with the herpes zoster virus (HZV), which is more commonly known as shingles. This is the same virus that causes the chickenpox and normally remains dormant in the basal ganglia for a persons lifetime. It is extremely painful and it is not known exactly what causes the virus to become active again, but it generally happens to people over 50 and the cause is generally attributed to a weakened immune system. So after my extensive reading on the internet (like most people), I read a few places that HZV can be one of the earliest signs of HIV, and it has all been downhill from there. I immediately went back to see my doctor and told her I wanted to be tested for HIV and other STDs, and that was 6 days ago. She said the tests can take up to a week, and it will be a week tomorrow and I am not doing very well. I keep running through scenerios in my head, like they are waiting till the last minute to tell me because I have the virus. What am I going to tell my girlfriend who I love very much? Who will I confide in?

I have spent this past week reflecting on a lot of things, realizing everything that I have taken for granted in my 24 years. I have had what some will call an ephiphany about life, just from this one experience I have taken away so much. Mind you I still haven't gotten my results back and no matter what you do, there is no way you can prepare yourself for hearing the news that your positive. Another lesson I have learned is that I do not resent people with the disease anymore, because it is the same as cancer or liver disease or heart disease, the end is the same, death, and people with HIV/AIDS should not be resented from society, there is no excuse for it.

Anyways, I would appreciate any insight into my situation, my questionable encounter was 2 1/2 years ago and since then I have had no serious colds or anything of that nature that other people experience, although I know that doesn't mean much. I guess I need some sort of reassurance before I get the phone call. The virus has subsided in my body after about a week of taking valtrex (valacyclovir) and the small lesions on my body are healing, hopefully they will be gone in a week or so.

regards

Chris

hey there chris. i wanted to tell you my story so you could maybe feel like we are on the same side of the fence. i started having sex at 15 (i am femaleand 27 now) i never thought about HIV or STD's. i was with 12 guys over about the same amount of time, all unprotected, many of them semi serious boy friends, some not. i then tought about HIV from time to time as my last serious boyfriend cheated on me quite a bit i found out later as well as had been with many women before me. i had gotten a western blot test in 99 for a life insurance policy but i was still with that guy so i was unsure about my status, i put it behind me.

in 02 i met my now husband. we got married and got pregnant. they asked me if i wanted to be tested as apart of my pregnancy exam, but i declined as i couldn't imagine the thought of being positive after i had come so far with my life...i looked at it like ignorance is bliss....stupid i know....

i was a week over due and when my water finally broke my ph balance was off so the doctors said it wasn't my water (didn't turn the strip test the right color) i developed a horrible infection in my uterus that almost killed my baby and i. we are very lucky to be here today after 31 hours of labor and 8 days in the ICU.

so all seemed well, untill 6 weeks later, i got a residual infection in my colon called typhlitis. they thought it was my appendix at first, but when they opened me up the doctors were shocked to see my colon red and inflamed. they sewed me back up and put me on a broad range antibiotic. i awoke in so much pain, with a fever of 104.5, heart rate 180 and only 78% oxygen, they thought the typhlitis was making me septic. i was given even more IV antibioics and checked around the clock.

see, they thought that i had been tested for HIV when i was pregnant because it is so common, but i had not. typhlitis is seen with people that have full blown AIDS of Leukiemia 95% of the time. yes---95%.

i don't know why they never asked me about HIV. they tested me for leukiemia and everything else. they drew over 80 vials of blood on me durring that time to see what was going on. still to this day no one knows.

when i found out the they didn't test me for HIV, and thought that could be it i was devestated. i was sure i had it, infected my husband and my newborn. i made myself sooooooooo sick. i almost had to be in the hospital again because of panic attacks and the flu like illness i gave myself from stress.

i finally took the test and they said it would be back in 4 days. well 6 went by and no word so i knew it had to be bad. i finally called and the nurse was so flippant about the whole thing-----" oh yeah, your negative---"

for a month i didn't believe it, i came to this board looking for answers, asking every question i could think of still convinced the test was wrong. but it wasn't i am negative. they do not know why i got that infection. i am scared to death that i will get it again, but i can't dwell on that now as i am pregnant again.

the moral of this long story (sorry) is the the odds can seem to be against you, but the fact remains that HIV is pretty hard to get, even for us very unlucky people. i don't know why you got shingles, but chances are it will never happen again and you are just fine.

It is funny how life works out, I'm glad that you do not have HIV and that you have a healthy newborn after all your hard work. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to have to deal with something like that if you did test positive. I cannot believe they did not call you back with your results, that is the most selfish thing a person can do. I guess they do not realize that a lot of the time people put their lives on hold, whether they want to or not, waiting for these tests to come back. Anyways, thanks for your post and best of luck to you in the future.

Chris