Hi everyone, I am a distance caregiver (only child) of a mom who has AD and a dad who just can't do it all, but won't accept help either. Long story short - the AAA met with us last week and told them that he must accept some help; otherwise Protective Services will step in. His attorney spoke with him also to explain that he must accept help. Situation is further complicated by the fact that my dad is leaving her at night to go out to the American Legion where drinks are free for any veteran over 80! He's 82 and she is 81. She calls neighbors when she is alone and says" Can you come over. I need to go home". When they arrive she is in her coat, but never actually tries to leave. Day care is possibly beginning this week 3 days per week, but I know my dad will still continue to leave my mom at night out of a desperate need to get away from her. She is probably in early stage still - and they can't afford assisted living in an AD unit. We can afford to put her into assisted living but not in a program that specializes in AD (too costly) possibly or a year - probably no more. The places that cost more - that would probably give her better care we cannot afford. Also, I know that if she goes into AL and their money runs out that the state will then pay but in a nh which means she will deteriorate.

It's a mess as far as I can see. I am going down to PA (I am in MA) for a week to try to line up some home health aides to come in for a few hours at night two nights a week to give my father a chance to get out (in addition to the 3 days in day care). Any thoughts anyone? I will have to take a leave of absence from my job - unpaid. Thank you. Snooks