Hi all,

This is one of the only places I can turn because I'm trusting there are some of you who can empathize...

I just found out last night that ANOTHER one of our friends is expecting (there are 10 that I counted right now who are pregnant). Just when I think I'm doing ok with this infertility stuff, I find out about something like this and plummet and get so depressed. Of course I'm happy for our friends, but I'm so deeply envious and sad that it can't be us. My husband just doesn't understand this and gets very frustrated to see me cry about it later when we get home. It's baby #2 for a lot of our friends, which makes me feel as if LIFE JUST ISN'T FAIR. They get pregnant right away and are having these great cute families, and meanwhile my husband and I have nothing in the way of offspring. I'm so sick of feeling this way and feel like it will never be our turn.

Switching gears -- I do have a funny story to share that you all will appreciate. My mother, whom I love tremendously and am close to, has followed our infertility issues and treatments with heaps of care and compassion. So I'm with her the other day and she says, "Honey, I've been thinking about something -- I apologize if I'm being too forward, but I just wanted to share it with you. When your father and I were trying to conceive you and your sisters, after we had sex I would put pillows under my bottom to elevate my hips." I nod as she's talking. Then she says, "Have you tried that? Maybe that will help you guys conceive." -- Ok, I almost LOL it was so ridiculous. Pillows under the hips is Babymaking 101. My DH and I graduated from that long ago and are in graduate level courses now (he's had surgery for a varicosele, I've got elevated FSH -- I've been on meds, had IUIs, etc....). Moms can be funny sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent and share. I hope you're all having a better day than I am!

Dear Lilliputian,
I am sorry you've had a bad day emotinally. Yes, I can definately empathize. You cry all you need to. It helps heal our heart little by little. And it really helps us feel better. I have certainly done my share of crying over the last year. I'll share some things with you if you don't mind reading them, in hopes that I will make you feel better. I remember when I had my HSG done and they told me I only had half a uterus. I had that test done on a Friday, and all day I was in shock. Then the whole weekend I spent in bed crying, actually sobbing about it. Then when my I had my Laparascopy surgery, at the follow up visit to my OB/GYN he treated me like my condition was a science experiment. I remember he had his nurse come in without even asking me, to see the pictures. Because she had never seen this before. She actually said out loud wow that is neat! Oh yeah, real neat I thought, he told me because of it I couldn't have children. I cried so much after that I think my tears could have filled up a lake. It was a long time before we thought about getting a second opinion, and every time, still to this day actually, I see a pregnant woman I am so jealous. I know that's not good to feel that way, but I can't help it. And even closer to home, I have a younger sister who doesn't use birth control but wonders why she keeps getting pregnant. She is a ditz no doubt, but she is not a very good mother either, because my two nieces weren't "planned". I think being around that situation kills me the most. Fortunately, I live 2 hours away, so that helps. I know that sounds awful because she is my sister and I love her dearly, but I can't stand the way she is with her daughters. Arianna is only 2 and Brianna is only 6 months old. She has actually told my mom she wants to work outside the home because Arianna "bugs her". Sickening. Anyway, I have rambled enough for now. Just know I can feel your pain in what you said. Hugs to you, I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

L-I totally understand how you feel. How about when your friends won't even tell you that they are expecting because they know you will be hurt? It it more upsetting to me when they wont tell you and you find out from someone else. Then when you ask them about it they say, "I know you guys are trying and didn't want to hurt your feelings", or something just as stupid.
About the mother thing, I love my mom to death, but she just doesn't understand. She had 7 children right in a row and I know we drove her crazy but she keeps on saying things like enjoy the time you have together. And alludes to the fact that kids are a handful and be sure that I know what I'm getting into. She probably hates talking to me when I bring up the subject because I start to cry. And my poor dad, he's a macho macho man. He was talking to me about it the other day and I broke down on him too, he couldnt give the phone to my mom fast enough.
I dont have any words of wisdom, I just thought I'd share my thoughts. Hang in there!

You guys have made me feel soooo much better. Thank you!! Just to know I'm not alone in my tears and frustration helps me immensely. Yes, I am having a better day today -- it's funny how some are easier than others. But I just never know when I'm going to have a meltdown.

My hearts go out to the two of you. You are strong, courageous women and I'm so glad we have each other on this board.

hugs!

DITTO DITTO DITTO!!!! that about sums it up for me and i will admit every time i see a new baby or a pregnet girl i get so dam jealous!!! And im tired of friends who hide the fact they are preg because they know im trying. Oh and i really hate these freaking people who have children and are abusive or who dont give enough love ugggggg i love to vent like this thanks

Kristen

Kristen - I ditto YOU!

The thing that has made me most angry lately was finding out that my BIL and SIL, who are pg with #3 (they have 2 little boys already), were UPSET THAT THEY WEREN'T HAVING A GIRL!! Yes, that's right. They had an ultrasound and found out it was another boy and were actually upset about it. The kicker of the whole story? They went through IF themselves and had a hard time conceiving their first. How soon you forget..........

:eek: