Alright, i dont know what I am looking for in responces, all I know is I am so fed up with other people additudes towards troubles in the mental health area!
My husbands sister (Ann we'll say)primarily! A couple months ago we were out at a bar MUCH to my unwanting to be there I got dragged out. And there was a number of girls all good friends with Ann and eachother!
So I was VERY anxious and nervous and shy and trying so hard to keep sain and not have a panic attack! I was feeling SO voulnerable as I have bad social anxiety especially!.
When they all went to up to the bar at the same time exept for Ann who stayed and was giving me funny looks. And I think to myself,
"Ok, i trust this girl right? I can talk to her, maybe explain why Im acting so odd?"
SO I start explaining to her that I have had social anxiety most of my adult like and its nothing personal to anyone i just really cant handle a lot of social outings unless I know everyone REALLY well and its a quiet, relaxed enviroment. I told her thats why I didnt want to come and thats why I was acting the way I was. I was sorry and maybe if I went for a walk to calm down It would help."
She gives me a sympathetic little rub on the arm says "o you poor girl" and thats that. a few days later Im at the house she lives in with her husband... and father.... (raised eyebrow) and my OTHER sister in law who is my husbands BROTHERS wife who I have always gotten along with. She takes me aside and was telling me all the bad things Ann had been saying about me the past couple days. That i was a SO rude to everyone at the bar and that I have NO right to treat people the way I do (which usually just involves me be being quiet and shy ad not coming out much) and that I am just the rudest person she has ever known."
All this AFTER I explained in black and white WHY i act the way I do!!??
She later that day told my husband to tell me to "STOP being depressed, because you CAN just NOT be depressed if you want to."
for one thing I never said I had depression and for another thing, no you cant stop having depression just because one day you DECIDE to!

I just dont know what to do about people like this in my life!
Anybody else deal with unreal crap like this in your life?
how do you deal with it?
thanks, sorry so long.

Hi Treehugger, well, I basically avoid people like that. I am NOT afraid to admit to anyone that I suffer from severe dep., plus anxiety & panic attacks. If they can't deal with it & think it's the olden days & that I need to be locked away, then I'm for sure they are not the type of person I want to associate with.
It is a shame, but there is such a public stigma on anyone with any type of mental disease. We, individually, can help educate the world, but there will always be some who are so taken up with their own life, that they won't take the time to educate themselves about others problems, UNTIL it hits home with one of them!!!!
I always say "what goes around, comes around". And, you know it may not be today or tomorrow, but it does!!
We had some neighbors when I was a kid, their kids were horrible, the terrors of the neighborhood, but the mom talked about everyone else, thought her kids were angels & God forbid if anyone had a child out of wedlock, well she would never let them live that down.
Well, now one of her daughters who is a few years younger than me & is married to a very stuffed shirt type guy, they are strict catholics & two of her daughters are now living in "sin"!! OH MY! And, to top it all off, the one is engaged to a (heaven forbid) man of a different race!!!! It took years, but it has come around!!! Hee hee. Now I am not bothered about the man of a diff. race, but SHE is, the mom of these girls, she is mortified & does everything in her power to try to hide it & not let it get out.

Yeah, I have been there and done that. Even in this day and age there is still a stigma attached to depression or any kind of mental illness. It's better than it used to be but it is still there. I have learned one thing, if somebody has never been through any kind of mental illness in there life they just don't understand. I don't think they say these rude things on purpose, they just can't comprehend it. They think we can just snap out of it. I have heard that one before among others. I used to be more open about my depression in the past but I have learned to just suck it up. I just get more depressed when I get negative responses. It's a shame because I do feel better when I talk about it.

I agree with Lori J on this one also.
I'm not one bit ashamed that I have panic disorder.
I always looked at it this way, if I had some other illness I wouldn't be ashamed of it, so why should I be ashasmed of this?
I always told people what's wrong with me, just so they knew that if I had to get up and leave or if they asked me to go somewhere and I just couldn't do it, that they'd know the reason why.
Everyone I ever told was extremely understanding and supportive, with the exception of one of my Sisters.
She felt as though what I had wasn't REAL and that I could just "Snap out of it" it I wanted to.
I tried to tell her that what I had was as REAL as any other illness and that I didn't have a switch in my head that I could turn on and off at will...she still didn't get it.
So I no longer talk to her.
If she can't except me the way I am then I don't need her to be around.
I didn't want that kind of a negitive person in my life.
I've since stopped having panic attacks and now she wants to be my best friend...in her dreams.
If I wasn't good enough before I'm not good enough now.
My attacks seem to run in seven year cycles for some very odd reason, so IF in seven years...or less...they come back she'd just take the same attitude again and I will not chance that.
Sorry this response is so long, but like I said above...if I wasn't good enough before then I'm not good enough now and I can be very happy without her in my life.
I know that sounds cold hearted but she made no effert at all to understand and frankly the way she treated me was cold hearted.

Man o man, I would like to give her a peice of my mind but if she was here right now standing next to me I wouldn't admit it. Some people just can't realate becuase they haven't been through it themselves. I'll admit before I had started my panic,anxiety and depression disorders. I would see the camercials for pills on depression and I would think that the people just need a friend to talk to or not think to much which, in some cases thats all you need. But, I didn't realize how severe it was till I had gotten it. Now I totally understand how severe depression etc. really is. Its nothing like being just worried/depressed over normal things. This is in some ways differant than how it was before. Well for me anyways. People like that don't know or understand cause they have never experienced it! And if they did most of the time they have never had a reall full blown attack were they thought they were going to die etc.

I deal with this basicially every time I go out. I have social anxiety disorder and can't help but not talk around people I don't know. I just can't do it. Other people just don't understand that at all. I get so angry sometimes. A lot of people think i'm just a really rude person. It really hurts sometimes but what can I do but just deal with it.