:bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing: :bouncing:

Glad to see you made it home safely - hope that return flight was better than the first one!

-Kathi

Thank you thank you thank you!

It was SO much better than the first. Except on the landing, the pilot had to turn the plane all the way around prior to landing... I hate it when that happens. But... the take off and everything was better. I just did deep breathing for about 10 min until we got up there and then I was o.k. In fact, I almost fell asleep. I am officially a firm believer in relaxation technics (my mind is blank of spelling this word :-( )

Anyway, It's so good to be home. I've got all of my children and they are being SO good. I thought they would be 'extra' hyper but actually, they are being great!

How are you? How are the meetings going? How many have you been to now? How are you and your girlfriend doing? Does she know much about your recovery? I mean, I know she knows... but do you guys discuss it much?

Anyway, thanks for sending me my 'welcome home' - it was VERY nice to know I was missed.

Hi Banker,

Thanks for asking. I went to my 5th meeting last night and the speaker was a man celebrating one year of sobriety. It was interesting, last weekend I listened to a woman with 7 years and they both actually are the same, even though their stories are different. They both had struggles and even after 7 years there is still struggle.

I have yet to say to Karyn that I am an alcoholic, right now I'm going it alone. For some reason I just can't discuss it with her yet. I am seeing my therapist again this week - I was down to every two weeks but now I'm back to every week.

Today I'm not going to a meeting. I worked another 60 hour week and I ended up sleeping until 9:30 which is real late for me. So, I'm just going to stay in jammies today and do nothing. I will go to a meeting tomorrow morning.

I also got three books from last nights meeting. I got the big book, the twelve steps/twelve traditions, and then the guy gave me a book called "Living sober" - it talks about how tools to deal with day to day problems, it was real nice to throw that in "on the house".

I'm glad your flight went better and that your kids are behaving. (by the way the word is techniques :))

Hugs
-Kathi

Hey, Banker - Welcome back! Now you can throw away that flimsy laptop...and come back at us with the full artillery!!! The Board was too subdued without you. :-) Lynn

PS --- And, Kathi....don't give away my secret....but a day in jammies for me is a day in Heaven!! There are days when I've told my dogs "sorry, pumpkins, Mommy just can't see why she should shrug off this nightie. You'll just have to use the kitchen newspapers! " LOL!

Banker,
Welcome home! Sounds like your trip went well and that your children were very happy to see their mommy! I'm glad everything went well -- shaky landing and all. My husband and I had a similar experience on a flight to Washington, DC. A terrible rain storm prevented us from landing.) Even though we were basically there it took us forever to land and delayed us for hours ... it was horrible. My son was performing in the Washington DC area with his choir and his flight (the plane his choir was on left just minutes ahead of ours) and managed to land on time. Our poor son was worried sick about us. :confused: Anyway, I'm glad you are home and you had a nice business trip. :wave:
-MJ

Thanks guys - I'm SO glad to be back.

Mart - I can't imagine being on that flight. I would have absolutely freaked out!

Kathi - don't you hate it when you KNOW how to spell a word and your mind just goes blank? Or am I the only one that happens to? Maybe Yinsky's right and it's the years of Xanax use????

I know what you mean about not telling your partner??? But doesn't she ask where you are going? I would LOVE to be in a relationship where I could go and not be asked where I am... And surely she's noticed you not drinking at night anymore? Did you just play it off???

I'm thinking about breaking up w/boyfriend... we've been together a year and he's just not clicking w/the kids. Actually, I just don't think they like him and I KNOW he's got problems with them... I absolutely will not let myself get married to someone where there could be potential probs with the kids and their 'step dad'. I had too many myself and there really is nothing worse.

He is a wonderful man but he wants children of his own and of course, after three of them, there is just no way! He wants to be special in a child(s) life and he doesn't understand that he could with my own children if he would just try but he doesn't. It's like he hates them or something... very hard to explain. And it's just so sad because we really do love each other. I'm very 'into drama' and he's the opposite so we really make a good team but the ONLY problem is the children and unfortunately, it's the biggest problem.

I was just trying to imagine myself dating again and going out without drinking... It really makes me think that an addict is an addict - doesn't matter what the drug is. I used to go out and do shots of tequila and just have a ball but I would get so drunk I wouldn't remember things the next day... Now that I have changed so much w/the Suboxone, I think I might be one of those people that just doesn't date or anything. How sad is that?

Honestly, if he and i break up - which I think it's time that we do, I'm really worried about how I will handle things. I basically have no family so he's been my security... Unfortunately, I cannot put myself and my own INSECURITIES before my childrens' lives... Trust me, the time is coming and it's going to be hard. K - I guess I'd better go... my daughter is spreading 'Cheese Its' all over the floor... gotta get the broom, AGAIN!

Oh Banker, sounds like things aren't going too well??? It sounded like me talking, when you were talking about going out and doing shots and waking up the next morning not remembering a dam thing!!! I don't care WHAT drug or drink you put in front of me....i'm gonna abuse it! I haven't done that with the xanax yet....and DON"T want to go there, thanks to yinksy i am a lot more aware of my usage!
Is your boyfriend mean to your kids???? Or does he just act like they are in the way??????? I feel terrible for you, but you are right!!! Your kids HAVE to somewhat get along with the person that you marry. My kids get along well with my hubby, it is he and i that can't get along. I hope you can work thru this little rough spot in your life, and who knows what lies ahead?!?!
Hope you weekend is more exciting than mine! I am watching Toy Story for the 2nd time today and my 2 yr old is driving me NUTS!!!!!
luv,
LISA

Oh no, he's not mean to them or really act like they are in the way. It's just like he barely acknowledges them... I mean he does, but not like he should. Put it this way, by friends give my children more attention that he does. And because of whatever 'vibes' he's put out there - they don't really WANT to have much to do with him... therefore, he's scared of rejection now that he's actually trying to have a relationship with them... Which I just don't think is going to happen. He's coming over in a few and we are going to 'talk'... Wish me luck. I do realize that whatever happens is for the best. Thank you and I'll talk to you guys later...

Hey Banker,

Good luck when he comes over - we'll be here for you!

Karyn does know I'm not drinking and going to meetings but I have not admitted to her that I'm an alcoholic, and I don't talk with her about my feelings on that.

-Kathi