Hi,

Some/many of you know me alittle bit. I was addicted to opiates on & off actively for awhile. I started suboxone 3 months ago and have been doing very well with it.

As you know, you don't get high or that feeling with suboxone. I don't know what triggered this, depression, boredom (that's what I think it is) because I as very busy for awhile, untiil my life seemed to come to a hault and got depressed.

I also have taken klonopin for many years, 1 mg per night for another disorder. Never abused it ever, except during a crisis when maybe I took a few more, but it never controlled me. When I took the suboxone with the klonopin I got a really good feeling...not high, but zoned out and often fell asleep with the lights on etc. I liked the way they made me feel.

Instad of calling in for a refill after 3 months, it was getting to be 2 months than 1 month. My Dr. didn't seem to notice it, and I didn't want hiim to notice it; so I thought, I'd get another benzo (valium) so I'd substitute for awhile and I won't run out early. I hate myself. The mind of an addict.

Now, I've been taking valium too much, maybe 2-3 day ...and I don't really need to and not abusing the suboxone, just the valium. I'm horrified I'm going to get addicted to the worst thing you can get addicted to - benzos! I promised myself I would neve absue them, and here I am.

How can I get back to where I was, at least for now. My mind, I realize still is an addicts' mind. I seek to escape any pain I have (emotional) and there is so mucn of it.

Help
Murphy

Murphy....that scares the ***** outta me, cuz i take xanax and am not abusing it at this time...but i AM an addict and usually end up abusing any type of drug i touch :rolleyes:
Yinksy knows an awful lot about the hell that benzos can cause and i am hoping she will respond to this post.
I do remember someone saying it has to be a very, very slow taper.
I wish i could help....
Hang in there and try to make a taper plan.
luv,
LISA

Murphy

You are right about addiction to benzos. But you at least realise what is going on now. Many people are not so lucky. The funny thing about benzo addicition is that is happens to people who are not addictive by nature - they take it as prescribed and never abuse it - yet become dependent. Iatrogenic addiction.

You dont say how much you are taking? Is it 2 * 5 mg - or 2 * 10 mg pills?

If you look at the post I have just made to Parker in the thread about tylenol with codeine above - then you should follow that advice?

The best thing at this stage that you can do is to get as much information as you can - so do take that advice? Read Ashton and go to the benzo site - it is packed with the most informative and helpful information incl a forum which you might want to join.

If you want to talk more about this ......... ask any questions.......... please just ask.

Y

Murph - I found myself doing the exact same thing. Instead of taking 2 mg xanax a day, I went up to 4 mg which is ALOT! If you really, really need the meds to survive, then you can go down on your own. I've done it and so far, things have been fine. You can do it if you wish too... OR, you can quit completely because that potential for abuse will ALWAYS be there as long as you take them, at least it is for me. I have to be so aware every day of not taking more than prescribed. However, when I dropped it back down, I did not have any withdrawals or anything but I was only taking the 4 mgs for a few weeks.

Seriously, I've said it so many times, an addict is an addict, no matter what the drug. Therefore, if you don't really need Klonopin/Valium --- I would start the taper as Yinsky described. She knows so much about it - very good resource and support person. I know exactly what you mean about the feeling of mixing the two drugs... It can make you 'escape' for a while. So... think about it and if you can live without the benzos (which you may be able to since Sub works well for depression and anxiety) then try to get off. If you do a slow taper, you should be fine. Otherwise, start TODAY and drop it. I don't believe you will have a seizure as long as you are still getting some of the benzos in your system. Yinsky - correct me if I'm wrong.

Murph - You can do this... you are one of like 3 people that literally saved my life by helping me get on Suboxone so please let me know what I can do. I'm always here for you no matter what. Just please keep in touch with us. You have been on my mind too - I haven't heard from you in so long... except for your other post (which, thank you, by the way). But you can go back about several weeks ago and I posted to Yinsky about abusing the Xanax and she helped me and I was able to drop it back down to the prescribed dose. It all depends on how badly you need it. I need it badly so I can't play around with it. If I start to increase again or if I ever feel like I cannot control my intake - I will have to go to detox or something to get off of it.

Do you feel like you cannot control it no matter what you do? Or... do you think you can taper and handle this? I'll be praying for you --- what's the deal with the depression? What's going on?

Murph, What's up? :wave: yinsky has the best advice advice. I just started xanax and I am scared too about the addiction to it. be scared like I said befor drugs are masters of destruction and evil. it will all ways be calling you. do what you need to do to get off it and STOP beating your self up about it S--- happeneds but you can over come it you know you can!!!!
Goddess Bless :angel:
Stacey

Hi murph-
Sorry to hear your having a hard time-i understand the sub/benzo thing..cos i do the same..but im still taking as prescribed but i have gone..up/down etc...in my dose..w/ the dr..and im trying to chill cos..i don't wanna get strung out on the benzos-took a 1/3 of my dose yesterday..feel a little off but ok..i agree w/ banker..just drop down a bit..you should be ok..cos the sub will pull thru the depression aspect..start with one pill less..
Yinsky is the benzo authority here..and the benzo uk. site is great..
Good luck..
Heather

Murphy, thats is why my doctor put me on Naltrexone.....it is an opioid blocker, it will also make you sick if you take benzos or opiates while on it......maybe you could switch to that. Sub also gives off a euphoric feeling....which us as the addict likes....which could lead to a relapes...there is no such feeling with the Naltrexone.......hope all works out
Lyn

Murph - how are you doing? Let us know...