livinlife
03-23-2004, 01:04 AM
Hey guys
I just wrote this really lengthy post about my experience and i lost the whole thing when i accidentally hit the back button.
sheesh
well let me sum up what it said.
let me just start by saying I am 24 y/o male, and i have never had sex with another man nor have I shot drugs.
I worried for the last 7 months that i had HIV. I was partying hard, popping ecstasy, having unprotected sex with several women, one of which is a paid escort (yeah she sleeps with men for money, no I wasn't a paying customer). Basically i was just being really really stupid. Alot of this had to do with my excessive use of ecstasy. I was really out of control.
well, after a while I started to really worry about catching HIV from the unprotected sex (esp. with said escort). I would get online and read about the symptoms, and boy if you were to ask me I had em all. Diahrea (from using ecstasy), i would wake up sweating excessively (from using ecstasy), i had insomnia, paranoia, all from using ecstasy excessively. I also developed a wart on the back of my neck (which i have never had warts) and i was convinced that this was because i had been infected with HIV. I would watch tv or listen to the radio and everytime they would mention HIV i was convinced that it was a sign telling me that i was infected.
I then became scared to get tested. I wanted to know but I was too scared that the results would be positive. After coming across this site and reading alot of the stories I finalloy worked up the nerve to get tested. Only thing was I didn't want nobody else to know the results but me, just in case I was positive i didn't want anyone else to know. well, i started searching for anonymous tests. Couldn't afford the $60 Home Access Health test although I had used it to test the previous year and it was known to be accurate. I stumbled accross a Mirawell Home test kit on ebay for $12. Bought it, it arrived and i thought i had come to my moment of truth when I followed the directions to the tee and only came up with no control line and invalid test results. I was even more convinced I was positve. Well the guy that sold it to me was pretty cool and sent me another one free of charge. The results were the same INVALID. At this point I was surely convinced I was positive. i was also like **** it, I need to know. so i decided to just go down to my local Health Dept and get tested. Another agonizing two weeks of waitng for the results.
I am happy to report that I am HIV negative. it is such a great feeling after worrying so much all that time. I feel like god has given me a new lease on life. I want to thank those on this board that shared their stories. You all helped to give me the strength to go down and get tested. I wanted to share my story with everyone else worried about the test results. I know exactly how you feel, but it is much better just to find out if you are positive or not, than to constantly worry about like i was.
I also want to say that I finished with drugs (ecstasy). Ecstasy is a bad bad drug. Very bad. I also have not had sex for 7 months and i don't ever plan on having unprotected sex ecer again unless me and my partner have both been tested.
i hope my story helps someone out there who is going through the worry that i went through.
I just wrote this really lengthy post about my experience and i lost the whole thing when i accidentally hit the back button.
sheesh
well let me sum up what it said.
let me just start by saying I am 24 y/o male, and i have never had sex with another man nor have I shot drugs.
I worried for the last 7 months that i had HIV. I was partying hard, popping ecstasy, having unprotected sex with several women, one of which is a paid escort (yeah she sleeps with men for money, no I wasn't a paying customer). Basically i was just being really really stupid. Alot of this had to do with my excessive use of ecstasy. I was really out of control.
well, after a while I started to really worry about catching HIV from the unprotected sex (esp. with said escort). I would get online and read about the symptoms, and boy if you were to ask me I had em all. Diahrea (from using ecstasy), i would wake up sweating excessively (from using ecstasy), i had insomnia, paranoia, all from using ecstasy excessively. I also developed a wart on the back of my neck (which i have never had warts) and i was convinced that this was because i had been infected with HIV. I would watch tv or listen to the radio and everytime they would mention HIV i was convinced that it was a sign telling me that i was infected.
I then became scared to get tested. I wanted to know but I was too scared that the results would be positive. After coming across this site and reading alot of the stories I finalloy worked up the nerve to get tested. Only thing was I didn't want nobody else to know the results but me, just in case I was positive i didn't want anyone else to know. well, i started searching for anonymous tests. Couldn't afford the $60 Home Access Health test although I had used it to test the previous year and it was known to be accurate. I stumbled accross a Mirawell Home test kit on ebay for $12. Bought it, it arrived and i thought i had come to my moment of truth when I followed the directions to the tee and only came up with no control line and invalid test results. I was even more convinced I was positve. Well the guy that sold it to me was pretty cool and sent me another one free of charge. The results were the same INVALID. At this point I was surely convinced I was positive. i was also like **** it, I need to know. so i decided to just go down to my local Health Dept and get tested. Another agonizing two weeks of waitng for the results.
I am happy to report that I am HIV negative. it is such a great feeling after worrying so much all that time. I feel like god has given me a new lease on life. I want to thank those on this board that shared their stories. You all helped to give me the strength to go down and get tested. I wanted to share my story with everyone else worried about the test results. I know exactly how you feel, but it is much better just to find out if you are positive or not, than to constantly worry about like i was.
I also want to say that I finished with drugs (ecstasy). Ecstasy is a bad bad drug. Very bad. I also have not had sex for 7 months and i don't ever plan on having unprotected sex ecer again unless me and my partner have both been tested.
i hope my story helps someone out there who is going through the worry that i went through.