wolflover7470
03-26-2004, 10:20 PM
My son's girlfriend is pregnant,she had an ultrasound done yesterday.They told her shes was almost 11 weeks along.the last time they slept together was dec.22.2003.Is it possible this might not be my grandchild?
:confused:
:confused:
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Blastoff9600
03-26-2004, 10:29 PM
Well anything is possible...the U/S have been known to be off by a week at times. Also your son could have lied about the last time they were together. Then throw in sperm can live inside a woman for up to 7 days afterward and then throw in that implantation can take up to a week or more to occur. That adds about 2 weeks and that would put her in the ball park for it being your son's child. There are alot of factors to consider.
The only way to know for sure is to have a DNA test done when the child is born. Make sure you son doesnt sign anything until after he has done a DNA test.
If none of you can wait that long you can talk about getting an Amnio done and those can determine who the father is. But that will be up to the mother-to-be since there is risk involved with that.
The only way to know for sure is to have a DNA test done when the child is born. Make sure you son doesnt sign anything until after he has done a DNA test.
If none of you can wait that long you can talk about getting an Amnio done and those can determine who the father is. But that will be up to the mother-to-be since there is risk involved with that.
wolflover7470
03-26-2004, 10:37 PM
Well anything is possible...the U/S have been known to be off by a week at times. Also your son could have lied about the last time they were together. Then throw in sperm can live inside a woman for up to 7 days afterward and then throw in that implantation can take up to a week or more to occur. That adds about 2 weeks and that would put her in the ball park for it being your son's child. There are alot of factors to consider.
The only way to know for sure is to have a DNA test done when the child is born. Make sure you son doesnt sign anything until after he has done a DNA test.
If none of you can wait that long you can talk about getting an Amnio done and those can determine who the father is. But that will be up to the mother-to-be since there is risk involved with that.
Thank you so much for replying,I wish that I could say it makes me feel better but it doesn't lol.I think we'll check into the Amnio.I would like to know nownot in october.Thanks again.
The only way to know for sure is to have a DNA test done when the child is born. Make sure you son doesnt sign anything until after he has done a DNA test.
If none of you can wait that long you can talk about getting an Amnio done and those can determine who the father is. But that will be up to the mother-to-be since there is risk involved with that.
Thank you so much for replying,I wish that I could say it makes me feel better but it doesn't lol.I think we'll check into the Amnio.I would like to know nownot in october.Thanks again.
kellie2
03-26-2004, 11:21 PM
So let me get this straight....because the ultrasound doesn't pinpoint exactly the day you think it should, you automatically assume she slept with someone else? Hmmm. I think I would be pretty hurt if I were her. Ultrasounds are known not to be 100% accurate; my daughter's girlfriend had one and hers was off by almost 3 weeks. Have you actually voiced this concern to his girlfriend, or asked her right out if she's been with someone else? Because you really don't mention her at all in your post, which makes me wonder 'who' exactly is questioning this child - all three of you, or just you.
wolflover7470
03-26-2004, 11:54 PM
So let me get this straight....because the ultrasound doesn't pinpoint EXACTLY the day YOU think it should, you automatically assume she slept with someone else? Hmmm. I think I would be pretty hurt if I were her. Ultrasounds are known not to be 100% accurate; my daughter's girlfriend had one and hers was off by almost 3 weeks. In any case, I'm going to assume that the girl's word isn't good enough....unless you haven't voiced this concern to either her or your son. If not, you may want to tread lightly with this one because if it turns out to indeed be your grandchild and you voiced your doubt to the mother at some point along the way, you may have to fight to have that child in your life later on, as the mistrust you conveyed to her would be mighty hard to forgive. And I think the one thing that everyone seems to be forgetting is - it's really nobody's business but hers and your son's.
kellie2,first off,this is my business since my son is only 16yrs old and his girlfriend who is 14yrs old,let me also add that there are 3 people to blame for this 14yr old girl being pregnant,#1 person to blame is the girlfriends mother,she left these 2 teenagers home alone,I know this cuz both kids saide the same thing.I realize this could have happened anywhere but it didnt it happened under the supervision of the girlfriends mother.#2 people to blame are my son and his girlfriend.They BOTH were educated on sex and what could happen if they made that choice.Her own mother wonders if my son is the only one,thats y I have douts to if it is my son's or not.I was also told that this girl slept with a guy a month later after my son,so who knows who she had been with anyone in between if anyone at all.Thx for ur reply anyway
kellie2,first off,this is my business since my son is only 16yrs old and his girlfriend who is 14yrs old,let me also add that there are 3 people to blame for this 14yr old girl being pregnant,#1 person to blame is the girlfriends mother,she left these 2 teenagers home alone,I know this cuz both kids saide the same thing.I realize this could have happened anywhere but it didnt it happened under the supervision of the girlfriends mother.#2 people to blame are my son and his girlfriend.They BOTH were educated on sex and what could happen if they made that choice.Her own mother wonders if my son is the only one,thats y I have douts to if it is my son's or not.I was also told that this girl slept with a guy a month later after my son,so who knows who she had been with anyone in between if anyone at all.Thx for ur reply anyway
coppertop
03-26-2004, 11:59 PM
Actually, an ultrasound before 13 weeks is generally very accurate. The closer you get to your due date, the more it can be off. Her ultrasound is probably within days, not weeks.
If conception occured anywhere near Dec 22, than she would be alot closer to 15 weeks.
If conception occured anywhere near Dec 22, than she would be alot closer to 15 weeks.
wolflover7470
03-27-2004, 12:44 AM
Actually, an ultrasound before 13 weeks is generally very accurate. The closer you get to your due date, the more it can be off. Her ultrasound is probably within days, not weeks.
If conception occured anywhere near Dec 22, than she would be alot closer to 15 weeks.
coppertop
Thank you for your reply,I sure hope the ultrasound is right on cuz I DO NOT want this child to be my son's.He is a great YOUNG man but not ready to father a child the way the child needs to be fathered.My son saide if it is his child he'll do the right thing by the child as best as he can.Thx again
If conception occured anywhere near Dec 22, than she would be alot closer to 15 weeks.
coppertop
Thank you for your reply,I sure hope the ultrasound is right on cuz I DO NOT want this child to be my son's.He is a great YOUNG man but not ready to father a child the way the child needs to be fathered.My son saide if it is his child he'll do the right thing by the child as best as he can.Thx again
Belle2003
03-27-2004, 02:05 AM
I am so sorry to hear about the mess your son and his girl friend are in. They are so young to be having a baby.
I have two teenage daughters so I can only imagine how the girl friend's mom must feel.
I do not have any sons, but I have heard of a couple of guys getting stuck paying child support for babies that were not theirs. Their name was put on the birth certificate and when the DNA test showed that they were not the father, the State of California still said that they were legally responsible. All because their name was on the birth certificate. I think that it is only right to pay child support if the child is biologically yours.
I would look into what laws are in your state/country.
Girls may get stuck with being pregnant, but at least they know that it is their child!
Good luck and keep us posted!
I have two teenage daughters so I can only imagine how the girl friend's mom must feel.
I do not have any sons, but I have heard of a couple of guys getting stuck paying child support for babies that were not theirs. Their name was put on the birth certificate and when the DNA test showed that they were not the father, the State of California still said that they were legally responsible. All because their name was on the birth certificate. I think that it is only right to pay child support if the child is biologically yours.
I would look into what laws are in your state/country.
Girls may get stuck with being pregnant, but at least they know that it is their child!
Good luck and keep us posted!
wolflover7470
03-27-2004, 10:34 AM
I am so sorry to hear about the mess your son and his girl friend are in. They are so young to be having a baby.
I have two teenage daughters so I can only imagine how the girl friend's mom must feel.
I do not have any sons, but I have heard of a couple of guys getting stuck paying child support for babies that were not theirs. Their name was put on the birth certificate and when the DNA test showed that they were not the father, the State of California still said that they were legally responsible. All because their name was on the birth certificate. I think that it is only right to pay child support if the child is biologically yours.
I would look into what laws are in your state/country.
Girls may get stuck with being pregnant, but at least they know that it is their child!
Good luck and keep us posted!
Belle2003,thx for the reply
The girlfriend's mother and I have discussed that the right thing to do is a SNA test.I would love to have an amino done but that can be dangerous so we will just have to wait.Right now my son being the father is not our biggest problem,becuz this girl is so young it has been reported to the DA in our district.It was all concentual sex but I guess by law there has to be a report done.So now we wait to see if my son will be charged with CSC
{CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT}The girlfriend nor her mother wants my son to go to jail.This is a decision BOTH these kids made.If this is my son's child,what purpose does it do to put him in jail for something they BOTH wanted.Let me ask this,if we put every teenager {guy&girl}having sex in jail,how many students would we have in our schools???
I have two teenage daughters so I can only imagine how the girl friend's mom must feel.
I do not have any sons, but I have heard of a couple of guys getting stuck paying child support for babies that were not theirs. Their name was put on the birth certificate and when the DNA test showed that they were not the father, the State of California still said that they were legally responsible. All because their name was on the birth certificate. I think that it is only right to pay child support if the child is biologically yours.
I would look into what laws are in your state/country.
Girls may get stuck with being pregnant, but at least they know that it is their child!
Good luck and keep us posted!
Belle2003,thx for the reply
The girlfriend's mother and I have discussed that the right thing to do is a SNA test.I would love to have an amino done but that can be dangerous so we will just have to wait.Right now my son being the father is not our biggest problem,becuz this girl is so young it has been reported to the DA in our district.It was all concentual sex but I guess by law there has to be a report done.So now we wait to see if my son will be charged with CSC
{CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT}The girlfriend nor her mother wants my son to go to jail.This is a decision BOTH these kids made.If this is my son's child,what purpose does it do to put him in jail for something they BOTH wanted.Let me ask this,if we put every teenager {guy&girl}having sex in jail,how many students would we have in our schools???
coppertop
03-27-2004, 02:42 PM
Wolflover,
My family went thru a very similar experience. My sister got pregnant at 14 by a 17 year old. My mother and sister did all they could not to disclose the fathers name so he would not go to jail or get in trouble. He is now in his third year of college, unfortunately he did not step up as a father and is pretty much a deadbeat dad:( . Its sounds like your son is at least willing to take responsibility if it is his.
If you son is 16, isn't that also underage?
My family went thru a very similar experience. My sister got pregnant at 14 by a 17 year old. My mother and sister did all they could not to disclose the fathers name so he would not go to jail or get in trouble. He is now in his third year of college, unfortunately he did not step up as a father and is pretty much a deadbeat dad:( . Its sounds like your son is at least willing to take responsibility if it is his.
If you son is 16, isn't that also underage?
kellie2
03-27-2004, 03:46 PM
My apologies, you didn't mention how young they were or that the girl had been with someone else. Yes, in light of that new information, I do believe I would be very involved also. Again, I'm sorry but I was simply replying to the little bit of information you originally supplied. And in defense of both kids - even grown-ups who know better and are sexually informed can get carried away 'by the moment' and suddenly find themselves in the middle of something they cannot stop. It's even harder for teens as they have no idea how to control those feelings. Yes, they probably knew better but sometimes feelings get in the way of better judgement.
I wish you luck in whatever happens with all of you, and hopefully there will be a beautiful baby a few months from now that will be loved by everyone.
Take care.
I wish you luck in whatever happens with all of you, and hopefully there will be a beautiful baby a few months from now that will be loved by everyone.
Take care.
Blastoff9600
03-27-2004, 03:54 PM
Another thing I forgot was if the girl has long cycles or irregular cycles that can throw off conception dates and such.
Copper as for the age thing that varies from state to state. Most states have the age of 16 as the age of consent and to have sex with someone under that age is illegal even if both are minors. If charges are pressed against the boy then chances are the city is trying to make an example of him. By making and example of him it might deter others who are of the proper age to think a bit more before having sex with someon under the age of consent. Sounds corny but in some cases it does work. Granted it doesnt seem fair but that is how the it goes sometimes.
It would depend on the area on how many teeanagers would be in school if the laws were enforced more often. The laws are there to protect teens whether the parents or teen themselves agree with them or not. There are too many older people who like to take advangtage of younger teens/preteens.
I do suggest talking to a lawyer to see if what legal rights he might have. If he is charged and convicted of CSC it can very easily effect the rest of his life. So go see a lawyer to find out what he can do to protect himself.
Copper as for the age thing that varies from state to state. Most states have the age of 16 as the age of consent and to have sex with someone under that age is illegal even if both are minors. If charges are pressed against the boy then chances are the city is trying to make an example of him. By making and example of him it might deter others who are of the proper age to think a bit more before having sex with someon under the age of consent. Sounds corny but in some cases it does work. Granted it doesnt seem fair but that is how the it goes sometimes.
It would depend on the area on how many teeanagers would be in school if the laws were enforced more often. The laws are there to protect teens whether the parents or teen themselves agree with them or not. There are too many older people who like to take advangtage of younger teens/preteens.
I do suggest talking to a lawyer to see if what legal rights he might have. If he is charged and convicted of CSC it can very easily effect the rest of his life. So go see a lawyer to find out what he can do to protect himself.
Thisby
03-27-2004, 03:55 PM
Ultrasounds in the early stages of pregnancy are extremely accurate due to the well-established phases the fetus goes through. They can pinpoint within days at what age it gets a spine, eyes, fingers, heartbeat, etc.
As for your other problem, I hope they don't charge your son. A lot of people think Canada's age of consent is too low but it is exactly for this reason that I'm glad it is. You cannot legislate morality to teens. All it does is put young men in jail with horrible criminal records (convicted sex offender) for doing something that is normal teenage behavior. If I were you, if there is a good chance he isn't the father, I would consider having him deny having slept with her at all. (And if the girl's a decent person, she should agree, and admit who the other potential father might be ASAP.) And if your son is also under the legal age of consent in your state, and they charge him, I would insist they also charge the girl (not that they will, but just to make a point...)
As for your other problem, I hope they don't charge your son. A lot of people think Canada's age of consent is too low but it is exactly for this reason that I'm glad it is. You cannot legislate morality to teens. All it does is put young men in jail with horrible criminal records (convicted sex offender) for doing something that is normal teenage behavior. If I were you, if there is a good chance he isn't the father, I would consider having him deny having slept with her at all. (And if the girl's a decent person, she should agree, and admit who the other potential father might be ASAP.) And if your son is also under the legal age of consent in your state, and they charge him, I would insist they also charge the girl (not that they will, but just to make a point...)
wolflover7470
03-27-2004, 05:29 PM
Wolflover,
My family went thru a very similar experience. My sister got pregnant at 14 by a 17 year old. My mother and sister did all they could not to disclose the fathers name so he would not go to jail or get in trouble. He is now in his third year of college, unfortunately he did not step up as a father and is pretty much a deadbeat dad:( . Its sounds like your son is at least willing to take responsibility if it is his.
If you son is 16, isn't that also underage?
coppertop
Yes in michigan he is still underage.I am so sorry to hear that the dad didnt step up,Not only will ur sister's child lose out but so will the dad although he may never know it.I bet he never even thanked your sister for keeping his name out of it.It's to bad my son's girlfriends mother didn't have enuff sense not to give my sons name,I don't feel this woman uses her brain very much anyway.
My family went thru a very similar experience. My sister got pregnant at 14 by a 17 year old. My mother and sister did all they could not to disclose the fathers name so he would not go to jail or get in trouble. He is now in his third year of college, unfortunately he did not step up as a father and is pretty much a deadbeat dad:( . Its sounds like your son is at least willing to take responsibility if it is his.
If you son is 16, isn't that also underage?
coppertop
Yes in michigan he is still underage.I am so sorry to hear that the dad didnt step up,Not only will ur sister's child lose out but so will the dad although he may never know it.I bet he never even thanked your sister for keeping his name out of it.It's to bad my son's girlfriends mother didn't have enuff sense not to give my sons name,I don't feel this woman uses her brain very much anyway.
GirlHarley
03-27-2004, 05:41 PM
wolflover7470 - OH my god...I am so freaking out for you! Your post opened my eyes regarding JAILTIME for getting a girl pregnant and the age....
I live in NH and I have no clue regarding Boys going to jail if they get a girl pregant...I have a 15 yr old BOY, As far as I know he is not sexually active, a mother can only keep so much tabs on teenagers..It's not like when they were little....I speak to my son ALL the time, I have asked him if he has had sex...As uncomfortable it is for him...I question him all the time regarding sex and drugs...He jokes with me that he has sex all the time...I really don't think he has but I don't want to be a stupid blinded parent either.....
I am printing out your post to show him as well as look into the Jail time issue so he is aware before making any mistakes (if there was going to be one)
Thank you for sharing your story and hope it works out for you and your son.
God Bless...... :angel:
I live in NH and I have no clue regarding Boys going to jail if they get a girl pregant...I have a 15 yr old BOY, As far as I know he is not sexually active, a mother can only keep so much tabs on teenagers..It's not like when they were little....I speak to my son ALL the time, I have asked him if he has had sex...As uncomfortable it is for him...I question him all the time regarding sex and drugs...He jokes with me that he has sex all the time...I really don't think he has but I don't want to be a stupid blinded parent either.....
I am printing out your post to show him as well as look into the Jail time issue so he is aware before making any mistakes (if there was going to be one)
Thank you for sharing your story and hope it works out for you and your son.
God Bless...... :angel:
Karla
03-27-2004, 06:39 PM
I had an ultrasound done every week from my 4th month on due to having twins. They keept telling me one was a boy and one was a girl. Wrong both boys. They kept telling me I had 2 placenta's and I only had 1. They told me that based on the size of the babies that they didn't weigh anymore than 1 1/2 -2 lbs. each and I wasn't due for another 2 months. I was taking my basel body temp. and knew when I conceived. I delivered right when I said I would which was 9 months latter but 2 months earlier than the dr expected. And guess what those 2 pound babies weighed 5 1/2 pounds each. so much for ultrasounds and what drs know. I wouldn't judge your daughter in law to harshly.
GirlHarley
03-27-2004, 06:52 PM
I had an ultrasound done every week from my 4th month on due to having twins. They keept telling me one was a boy and one was a girl. Wrong both boys. They kept telling me I had 2 placenta's and I only had 1. They told me that based on the size of the babies that they didn't weigh anymore than 1 1/2 -2 lbs. each and I wasn't due for another 2 months. I was taking my basel body temp. and knew when I conceived. I delivered right when I said I would which was 9 months latter but 2 months earlier than the dr expected. And guess what those 2 pound babies weighed 5 1/2 pounds each. so much for ultrasounds and what drs know. I wouldn't judge your daughter in law to harshly.
Karla - YOU DID NOT READ THE ENTIRE POST...
IT'S NOT A "DAUGHTER IN LAW" IT'S A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL!
You just had two boys...Pray that when they are 16 years old they do not get a 14 year old girl knocked up and you won't be too harsh on the 14 year old girl!
Karla - YOU DID NOT READ THE ENTIRE POST...
IT'S NOT A "DAUGHTER IN LAW" IT'S A 14 YEAR OLD GIRL!
You just had two boys...Pray that when they are 16 years old they do not get a 14 year old girl knocked up and you won't be too harsh on the 14 year old girl!
Blastoff9600
03-27-2004, 06:57 PM
Actually no he isnt underage...grant he is underage for being an adult but age of consent in Michigan is 16. He was of age to consent while the girl wasnt and that is where the law can get him.
It would be considered first degree criminal sexual conduct section 750.520b
It is determined that a person is guilty of a CSC in the first degree if he/she has sexual intercourse with another person and the following critia are met;
One of the parnters is under the age of 13.
One person is over the age of 13 but under the age of 16.
There are other lines that follow that but I didnt feel they were important to this post.
The pregnancy will be their burden of proof if the child is his. If it isnt his they dont have proof they actually had sex since both parties can deny it.
So again I stress talk to a lawyer just talking to them to find out your right shouldnt cost you anything. Also talk to your doctor or the girl's doctor and find out where a DNA test will need to be done.
It would be considered first degree criminal sexual conduct section 750.520b
It is determined that a person is guilty of a CSC in the first degree if he/she has sexual intercourse with another person and the following critia are met;
One of the parnters is under the age of 13.
One person is over the age of 13 but under the age of 16.
There are other lines that follow that but I didnt feel they were important to this post.
The pregnancy will be their burden of proof if the child is his. If it isnt his they dont have proof they actually had sex since both parties can deny it.
So again I stress talk to a lawyer just talking to them to find out your right shouldnt cost you anything. Also talk to your doctor or the girl's doctor and find out where a DNA test will need to be done.