Hi. To get to the point, I wrote this twice, and it didn't post, so if this repeats sorry. Short and sweet. I met the best girl I've met in years. She told me she had gh, and I reacted badly due to ignorance. I spent 40+ hours researching, apologized, a month or so later, we're together still, but she's wanting intimacy. Anyhow, I really like this girl and want to be with her since she makes me feel so great, but I can't bring myself to knowingly risk getting and std for something that may or may not last. I feel bad cause I was the one wanting sex before she told me, now I'm leaving her hanging. We've only been together barely over a month, but I'm only 23 (kinda young =D) and am afraid of getting even a minor health complication because my job requires near perfect health and absolutely no medication whatsoever, even pepto or tylenol. Ok, there's the setup, and here's the pitch. As women, how would you react, if after two months, a guy said you were the best he'd ever met and he'd do whatever he could to safely "fulfill" you, but no sex til marriage. I just feel it's only worth it once I know it's til death do us part. Would using the possibility of the "m" word scare you off? I just don't want her to think I think she's bad or to blame or dirty or anything, and even if she says to go to hell, I don't want to hurt her feelings and want a chance to make it work. I was nervous even typing this, but if I can get advice or info on any guys in a similar situation, thanks. Sorry if this posts twice.

As a guy suffering from Genital Herpes, I can tell you that you are 100% right to have those concerns, because this disease is no joke...it is tough both physically AND emotionally (even worse when you are single). In fact at some points I even considered taking my own life over this (I know that might sound stupid to some people, but this has been the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me by far). So you definitely should not jump into anything right away, in fact, I think waiting for marriage is a GREAT idea. After all, it would really suck to get infected and then break up...then you be stuck with herpes on your own.

If she doesn't like it, I'd say its just too bad for her....she has to understand that you have to watch out for yourself. Just be glad she warned you, because I personally never got a warning from the girl. My advice to you is to wait, until you have ABSOLUTELY NO DOUBT that you want to take the risk on this person...and if it will require marriage before you are willing to take a shot on her then so be it. If she can't accept that...then tough luck.

from a womans point of view, and i do have gh........i dont think that your asking for much at all......your relationship should be based on love and feelings not sex...so if you want to wait for sex till marriage then there is nothing wrong with that and if she has a problem with that then it doesnt sound to me like she is wanting the same things that you are. You seem to care enough about her to stay with her and work on things just with no sex and she should feel the same way, if she doesnt then i say move on...there is no since in taking a chance to get this horrible disease if you dont have to, then to have to be single and deal with finding someone that will want you knowing you have it. I wish you good luck and hope things work out for you, i know with me having this that its very hard to find someone that is willing to risk getting it not knowing how things will work out in the end.

Like the other posters said, if she's truly a good person, she will understand your concern. These things take time to adjust to. As long as you two talk about it, and don't hide your true feelings ( like no sex until marriage), everything should be fine. Remember, she took a chance on you running for the door when she told you about the GH. Now it's your turn to take your chances and tell her you aren't ready yet to be exposed to it.
That said, personally: I'm not wanting to get married and I'm a very sexual person, if I were in her shoes I would give you 6 months to a year to accept me. Then you would just be my friend.

Thanks. I want this relationship to work. I'll just go with it, and explain this all to her when I'm not in a "compromised situation", and hopefully it'll go well. Peace