ok i need some advice guys, i recently met a guy about a week ago, we have hung out everyday since then gettin to know each other, he ask me tonite if we could make it official as in us dating, i said yes but im scared.....i really like him he is the first guy i have felt like this with in a long long time, i know its still early in our relationship but do i tell him now about my gh or do i wait and see if things are as good as i think they are? I dont want to not tell him now and then things get better and then tell him and him be upset that i didnt tell him sooner, but then again i dont wanna tell him now cause i dont know for sure if things will last.....i have a feeling they will but i am so scared...he doesnt know me well enough to maybe say ya she is worth the risk no matter what, but if i wait to get to that point then he might feel well if she would have told me sooner i wouldnt have let myself get to care for her this much????? I AM LOST!!!!! AND SO CONFUSED!!!! I want so much to just tell him and if he cant deal with it then just look at it as well it just wasnt meant to be but i really do like him alot he is a super guy.......so please any advice you can give me i would greatly appreciate it....thanks!!!!

Wow confused im not sure how helpful ill be but i hate reading a post that no one's replied to and not putting my 2cents in because i hate when no one replies to my post. BUT from a guy's perspective i personally wouldnt tell a girl that i had H until we were further into the relationship and i knew it was going to get serious. I mean that might sound selfish and im suppose to let her know in the beginning and all that good stuff BUT honestly i feel like i have to look out for myself too. It would suck for me to tell her in the beginning and she just up and leave or my WORST FEAR tell a bunch of her friends or whatever. Plus everything that glitters isnt gold so i dont want to think that "she is the one" and we end up falling off after like a month or so. I dont know if this will help any in your decision making process BUT i would wait to see where the relationship is going and i would DEFINATELY tell if i thought we might be intimate soon. Otherwise i would just enjoy our time together until i felt the moment is right and that way i wouldnt look back on it in the future and think to myself i should have waited or i rushed into it. Either way, good luck and i hope everything works out for the best...

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It can be hard to figure out exactly when the right time is to tell someone about GH. You don' t want to blurt it out early in the relationship, but then you don't want them to feel like you have been keeping something from them either. There is a lot of anxiety about how it should be said, as to not send them running off in fear. If things between you and the other person have been intimate, like kissing, foreplay, etc. I would tell them soon.
Have you ran things through your mind about how you want to say it?
I had to do this when I told my BF. Like, for me it was:
" I've had GH for 19 years. Thankfully, I've never given it to anyone, but you need to know that I have it."
Usually, the other person senses that you were nervous about something, and is relieved that it's all out in the open. At least that's from my own experience. The relief leads to an open dialog about GH, most people don't know that much about it, so it's up to you to educate them.
I have made the mistake of not telling someone until after I became inimate with them. I felt so guilty about it! I will never do that again. Luckily, they forgave me, but most people wouldn't.
Good Luck. :wave:

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It can be hard to figure out exactly when the right time is to tell someone about GH. You don' t want to blurt it out early in the relationship, but then you don't want them to feel like you have been keeping something from them either. There is a lot of anxiety about how it should be said, as to not send them running off in fear. If things between you and the other person have been intimate, like kissing, foreplay, etc. I would tell them soon.
Have you ran things through your mind about how you want to say it?
I had to do this when I told my BF. Like, for me it was:
" I've had GH for 19 years. Thankfully, I've never given it to anyone, but you need to know that I have it."
Usually, the other person senses that you were nervous about something, and is relieved that it's all out in the open. At least that's from my own experience. The relief leads to an open dialog about GH, most people don't know that much about it, so it's up to you to educate them.
I have made the mistake of not telling someone until after I became inimate with them. I felt so guilty about it! I will never do that again. Luckily, they forgave me, but most people wouldn't.
Good Luck. :wave:


:) That's great advice! I was just wondering though what you did or did'nt do that you've had h for 19 years but have not given it to anyone? I am type 2 neg but my husband is type 2 gen pos. We are always just curious as to what other couple do to prevent transmission. Thanks for any advice! :angel:

thanks for the advice you guys, it helped....we have done the kissing and fooling around but no intercourse yet....i see it coming thats why i feel the need to tell him now, im not sure how to keep it from happening without telling him about it. The messin around happened the other nite which that nite was my time of the month so that was a good excuse to use to not let it go that far but i cant use that forever...lol......i just really wanna tell him that way its out in the open and if he is ok with it then we can continue the relationship and then if not neither of us will be wasting our time cause i know if someone didnt tell me about it till i got in to deep i would be pissed!!! This is the worst thing in my life, i just feel like i will never be happy again and i just wanna give up on relationships all together.....then i read how things work out for people and their partners understand so i keep tryin. I havent ever told ANYONE that i have this the only person that knows is my ex husband, but in this case i feel like i owe this guy cause he is actually a good thing in my life. But i do appreciate all your input, you guys on this board are great!!!!!

:) That's great advice! I was just wondering though what you did or did'nt do that you've had h for 19 years but have not given it to anyone? I am type 2 neg but my husband is type 2 gen pos. We are always just curious as to what other couple do to prevent transmission. Thanks for any advice! :angel:
Good question, I might just be lucky. My ex husband and I were together 10 years. By the time I met him, I had GH for about 6-7 years and would only get an OB about twice a year. Sorry if this is too graphic, but by that time I always would get it in the same place, not close to my genitals , but high up above on my butt crack ( I can't think of any other terminology :) ) The moment I would feel any itching or tingling in that area, I would start putting some Zovirax ointment on the spot, and abstain from sex until I was sure the area was clear. In fact, I feel that I have avoided many OB's by using this method. Many times, if I apply the Zovirax religiously early in the symptoms, the tingling itchy feeling would go away and I will have no OB at all. I also start taking L-Lysine for a week along with the ointment. Although severe stress, like when I was going through my divorce, nothing would help. I would just wait the week or two until the area wasn't even red anymore. I don't feel the need to use any oral meds. for GH . I think it helps being very aware of where your OB areas are, and check for any OB feelings every time you go the bathroom. I just touch the area to test for any tingly itchy feelings.

desertdweller,

Thank you for your reply. My husband is the same way...1-2 obs a year and they are alot milder now :bouncing: He has had it for over 20 years. He does a check every morning in the shower so that helps. He is taking valtrex because we would like to have a baby. My fear is that he would have a very mild prodrome because he has had it for so long and it would be easily transmitted that way. We will keep praying though! Anyway thanks for any and all advice!!! God bless :angel: