MeganPa
08-25-2002, 08:56 AM
My son has mild autism and we know, even though he isn't talking that much, that he knows what we are saying. My husband and I go back and forth on how to punish him. Time outs don't work and slaps on the hand don't seem to phase him. He's even gotten a swat on the bottom on occasion nothing seems to bother him. I get worn out telling him over and over not to do something. I know at times he knows he isn't suppose to do a sertain things by the look he gives us right before he does it anyway. I relize that in some cases its something inside of them that they can't help, but he also needs to learn some things are not permitted. (He is almost 4)
Can anyone help?
Thanks Megan
Can anyone help?
Thanks Megan
Sponsor
RachelK
08-25-2002, 10:44 AM
Megan,
My son sounds alot like yours. My son absolutely doe's not like the corner. Have you tried the corner? This works with my son and now that he has gotten older just sending him to his room works (sometimes). At first you may have to stand there and make sure he has his nose and body facing in the corner. Just do it for a short period of time. It seems our kids have strong will power. You have to be stronger.
I want to tell you a story of how I got my son fully potty trained. When he was 2 and 1/2 he had #1 down and for the next year #2 was a real struggle. By three and 1/2 he would go to his room shut the door and poop in his pants and then come out and let me know. After a while I figured out that he knew exactly what he was doing. So I put him in the corner. After three days he decided going #2 in the potty was not so bad. Thats how I figured out the corner was not exactly a fun place for him.
Hope this helps.
Rachel K
My son sounds alot like yours. My son absolutely doe's not like the corner. Have you tried the corner? This works with my son and now that he has gotten older just sending him to his room works (sometimes). At first you may have to stand there and make sure he has his nose and body facing in the corner. Just do it for a short period of time. It seems our kids have strong will power. You have to be stronger.
I want to tell you a story of how I got my son fully potty trained. When he was 2 and 1/2 he had #1 down and for the next year #2 was a real struggle. By three and 1/2 he would go to his room shut the door and poop in his pants and then come out and let me know. After a while I figured out that he knew exactly what he was doing. So I put him in the corner. After three days he decided going #2 in the potty was not so bad. Thats how I figured out the corner was not exactly a fun place for him.
Hope this helps.
Rachel K
Jevin
08-27-2002, 12:09 PM
Hi Meganpa,
You didn't say the types of things that he is doing 'wrong', if it is specific behaviours or they occur at certain times then the strategies will be different. Anyway here are afew simple ones that I have used in the past with the children i work with.
You could try telling him/ prompting him with what to do rather than what not to do as you can then praise or reward the behaviour. eg If throwing toys, say/ prompt to put it on the table or in abox then praise.
Possibly create visual social stories of how you would like him to behave.
You could also use visuals to help him remember what he is supposed to do. Eg a sign of a mouth with a line through it to remind him no biting etc. Show it each time he bites or looks as if he will bite.
The same can be used for jumping on the bed or spinning.
Quite often even with children who seem to be verbal or seem to understand what you are saying using a visual can have a powerful effect. Alot of children with autism are visual learners and will retain from a picture more than from the spoken word.
Do you know if the behaviour is attention seeking or not? From what you have said about him looking at you before doing the behaviour does suggest this. If so, paying it attention may actually be increasing its occurence. For some children a smack or telling of can be as rewarding as praise or sweets.
You may also find that he acts in this way when distressed or anxious. As he knows that if he does this thing, you will respond in a certain way. This may enable him to gain an element of control in the situation.
Obviously with out knowing the behaviours it is difficult to comment but i have found the best approaches have been those that show what to do (even prompting if required), that occur straight after the behaviour has been demonstrated and that are consistent.
eg if your husband is doing one thing and you are doing something else your son will become confused on what to do or is expected.
Time out or punishment etc. will only be of use if your child can make the connection that it is their behaviour that has resulted in this response. if they don't connect the telling of with the behaviour then you can tell him off until blue in the face, he will still do the same tomorrow. Also if he likes sitting on his own or he behaves in a certain way to escape from an unwanted situation then timeout wont be of use as this will be supplying the response that he wants.
If you can show him what to do (not easy I Know) and the praise for doing it he will more likely repeat the desired behaviour.
I hope this helps
If you want to give a few examples of the behaviours you want to stop then we could probably give some specific strategies that may help.
Goodluck
Kevin
You didn't say the types of things that he is doing 'wrong', if it is specific behaviours or they occur at certain times then the strategies will be different. Anyway here are afew simple ones that I have used in the past with the children i work with.
You could try telling him/ prompting him with what to do rather than what not to do as you can then praise or reward the behaviour. eg If throwing toys, say/ prompt to put it on the table or in abox then praise.
Possibly create visual social stories of how you would like him to behave.
You could also use visuals to help him remember what he is supposed to do. Eg a sign of a mouth with a line through it to remind him no biting etc. Show it each time he bites or looks as if he will bite.
The same can be used for jumping on the bed or spinning.
Quite often even with children who seem to be verbal or seem to understand what you are saying using a visual can have a powerful effect. Alot of children with autism are visual learners and will retain from a picture more than from the spoken word.
Do you know if the behaviour is attention seeking or not? From what you have said about him looking at you before doing the behaviour does suggest this. If so, paying it attention may actually be increasing its occurence. For some children a smack or telling of can be as rewarding as praise or sweets.
You may also find that he acts in this way when distressed or anxious. As he knows that if he does this thing, you will respond in a certain way. This may enable him to gain an element of control in the situation.
Obviously with out knowing the behaviours it is difficult to comment but i have found the best approaches have been those that show what to do (even prompting if required), that occur straight after the behaviour has been demonstrated and that are consistent.
eg if your husband is doing one thing and you are doing something else your son will become confused on what to do or is expected.
Time out or punishment etc. will only be of use if your child can make the connection that it is their behaviour that has resulted in this response. if they don't connect the telling of with the behaviour then you can tell him off until blue in the face, he will still do the same tomorrow. Also if he likes sitting on his own or he behaves in a certain way to escape from an unwanted situation then timeout wont be of use as this will be supplying the response that he wants.
If you can show him what to do (not easy I Know) and the praise for doing it he will more likely repeat the desired behaviour.
I hope this helps
If you want to give a few examples of the behaviours you want to stop then we could probably give some specific strategies that may help.
Goodluck
Kevin