Hi,

I am new to these boards, and I think they are great. I hope to get some feedback from anyone, please! As I noticed, there are many posts like mine, an oral sex encounter. PLEASE don't just say, ohh it's nothing, and not reply. I seriously need some input! Sorry this is long, but please read it! Here's my issue...

I am 20 years old, basically gay but in denial about it. I've never really been with a man though, just thought about it a lot. I finally searched online and met and older guy who looked very nice, seems real. He lived around the area so I kept talking with him and deeply expressed my concern about being safe and he must be clean, no std and no hiv. At first he just seemed sort of like not concerned about that, but he said he is clean. Overall, he keeps by his word and says he is fine, but really, he doesn't seem all that confident. He's been tested once in the last year or two and he SAYS he hasn't really been with anyone since, especially no one to worry about.

Now, we met up at his place. Up until that time, I promised myself I'd use a condom for whatever happened. He started to go down and give me oral sex, and I let it go with no condom. He sucked me off twice within about 15 minutes, and the one time, he rubbed our penises together, in which a small amount of his precum fell on to my body. He later licked up this precum and shortly after proceeded to suck me again. This is why I am so scared. I think my case is a rare happening and I could have contracted hiv. I've been worried since this day! I've had a lot of symptoms as well. Mouth sore that I NEVER get and I can still see where it was, it left a "bubble." My throat doesn't hurt, but it feels swollen at times, like I don't want to talk or anything. My sailvary glands feel big, the one feels about the size of the end of my thumb. I have been able to easily feel them for about two months now! Weak stomach, going to the bathroom about 2 times a day usually. Had diarrhea like 5 times since this occurance, but usually not right after another. After I eat, I feel gassy. Other than that, the symptoms are to bad. I don't feel all that sick, just little things. No fever really, but I also check my temperature very often when I start to feel warm. I've never caught my temp over 99.1 or 99.2 really, so I dont think thats a fever.

I'll leave it at that for now. Sorry this is so long, but it takes a lot to explain the whole deal. PLEASE HELP!

Hey there,

WEll in this situation you are at risk, but again it is minimal. Any encounter like oral sex and deep kissing poses little risk for transmission. The high risk activities are unprotected anal or vaginal sex and IV drug use. IN this case it is very minimal that his pre cum would get into your urethra and a higher risk is that it may have gotten into a cut on your penis, which you probably didnt have. Pre cum and saliva have a very low viral load and therefore have little chance of infecting someone. So your chance of getting infected is real, but very small. Symptoms mean very little as you can read on these boards about people who have ever symptom in the book and then are negative. The symptoms you have like diarrhea and mouth sores are probably from strees and anxiety about the situation. I hope my words reassure you, but there is no reassurance like an HIV test. Get tested soon if you want to ease your mind and again after three months for a very accurate result.

Be more careful with other men too!!! You NEVER trust someone you just met it doesnt matter how nice they seem. They could be lying through their teeth, or telling the truth you simply dont know. If you are serious about someone, get to know them first before you trust them or have them get tested before any activity that might be risky. THis may save your life or at least your mind and body from anxiety and stress.

That being said, you should be fine however a test will definitely ease your mind.

Yes, I have pretty much the same thoughts as you. I understand the situation. I've spent endless nights online looking for info. I talked to this man online for a few weeks and on the phone in a few instances before we met in person. As I said, I really don't feel that sick, but it's always something. The thing with my throat worries me the most. It doesn't hurt, but I can feel it. Just feels sorta swelled up and I usually have a deep swallow. I am not sure if this type of symptom would last this long if it was hiv?

I can't believe I ever put myself in this situation. Now I've thought of every single worst possible ending. So scared to talk to parents and family about it, especially that it was from a run in with a man.

What would you say the amount of risk is? I went to a health center and explained the situation and the lady said, your risk is so low, out of 10, it's about a minus one half. And as she could tell, she said I'm just a nervous wreck and are worrying over nothing. I dont know though, can't stop thinking about it. It's all I think about most of the time, I just can't help it. I'm coming up on 3 months since the exposure, so I am going to be tested in about 3 weeks. This all started on Jan. 17. I know EVERYTHING thats happened to me since then.

Thanks for the input, I'd still like to hear more please...

Yes, I have pretty much the same thoughts as you. I understand the situation. I've spent endless nights online looking for info. I talked to this man online for a few weeks and on the phone in a few instances before we met in person. As I said, I really don't feel that sick, but it's always something. The thing with my throat worries me the most. It doesn't hurt, but I can feel it. Just feels sorta swelled up and I usually have a deep swallow. I am not sure if this type of symptom would last this long if it was hiv?

I can't believe I ever put myself in this situation. Now I've thought of every single worst possible ending. So scared to talk to parents and family about it, especially that it was from a run in with a man.

What would you say the amount of risk is? I went to a health center and explained the situation and the lady said, your risk is so low, out of 10, it's about a minus one half. And as she could tell, she said I'm just a nervous wreck and are worrying over nothing. I dont know though, can't stop thinking about it. It's all I think about most of the time, I just can't help it. I'm coming up on 3 months since the exposure, so I am going to be tested in about 3 weeks. This all started on Jan. 17. I know EVERYTHING thats happened to me since then.

Thanks for the input, I'd still like to hear more please...

Hey again,

Yeah it does help to talk about it however i can see how you would be scared talking to your parents about HIV infection not to mention with a man. It would be a difficult situation. But if you dont want to, that is why these boards are here!!

I agree with there nurse, your chances are very low. It is a difficult situation and hard to stop thinking about it. You know even if that man was infected your chances are still very low of getting infected and maybe he wasnt even infected and your chances are zero.

You know it is o.k. to get tested before three months. This is still a pretty accurate test and may put your mind at ease. This may make it easier to wait until three months. Then i would suggest doing it again for a 99% accuracy. You could also ask the other man to get tested and since he would have been more than three months if he was negative you could stop worrying. Hope that helps and feel free to write back any more of your thoughts.

Greg

Thanks for replying so quick. I wish there was more people like you to talk to! It is so hard, holding it all in. At times, I think no way, I dont have HIV, but then shortly after I'm back to being completely worried.

Here's my things that favor me. This guy says hes negative, over and over. It was only me receiving oral sex. Only a small amount of precum was present, which was outside of the body, then mixed with saliva. No fever, just some warm feelings, but when I check my temp, it's never past 99.1 or 99.2.

But still, I just really dont know! In a way, I can't wait to get tested, but then it's almost to scary.

Plus, what are the chances of it entering through my urethra? Especially since I shortly after was shooting out a load. Also, I've seen many places that HIV is a hard thing to transmit and its not all that easy. And finally, would my symptoms that are related to ARS last from like Feb. 5 or so until NOW?

That's all I can think of for now. I'm so burnt out of thinking about this whole situation!

Hey there again,

I dont mind offering you some reassuring words, i would love some help if i was in your position and at least someone to talk to. Yes you do have many things favoring you. This guy says he is negative again and again and that is very good. It is possible for you to contract HIV either through your urethra or cuts and scraped on your penis. You probably had none of these so the only chance of infection would be through the urethra. I believe HIV infection from oral sex is almost unheard of, with very few incidences occuring. Most likely in this situation there was blood involved. Since this man's saliva IF infected would have such a low viral load it would be almost impossible to get HIV. Of the very small chance that you could be infected in this situation would be if his mouth had cuts and they were bleeding on your penis. So again i think you have very little risk, but make sure to get tested at three months to feel better.

It is hard to get tested because of the fear of getting a positive result, but in you situation the fear should be minimal, and the benefits of a negative result would be beneficial for your mind.

I think ARS are symptoms that can occur from abour 2-8 weeks after exposure and they last like a week. Kinda like the flu. So if some of your symptoms that you are worried about began on february 5th they would have subsided along time ago if it was ARS. These symptoms are probably from stress and anxiety you are feeling.

I hope this makes you feel better and feel free to write back. It may make you feel alot better if you talk with your parents about this. If you are too scared to tell them it was a man, then tell them about your HIV fears but say it was a woman. This will help you ease your mind for now and you can tell them about the feelings for men when you are more comfortable. good luck!

Greg

Hey,

Thanks for replying again! I just wish I could get more responses from others as well. Another small thing I noticed was back in February, there was also about a week when the area around my shoulders was sore, into the top of my chest. I kept trying to feel for swollen glands but it was so hard to find them. It just felt sore, like through movements and when wearing a backpack. I've had a few aches and pains but who knows, there's probably a lot of things that could cause them.

Through symptoms, I guess it's good that I haven't had a fever. I've seen that most people who have hiv symptoms get a fever, like some 96% of people who have symptoms. So I'd say not having a fever is a great sign. Also, all of the symptoms never really made me that sick as to where I had to sleep for a long time or not do something that I would normally do.

I have started to talk to my parents about this kind of stuff. Not so much AIDS, i just keep telling them that I feel so run down and stressed. Like I am getting depressed. This is ALL i have been thinking about since Jan. 17 when it happened! Mostly, I'm scared because I keep feeling these symptoms that don't go away, it's like I have been sick for almost 3 months now. That definitely scares me, because it's like my body can't fight off the infection, or hiv is messing up my body so bad and I can't just feel better.

I'll leave it at that for now. Sorry it's so long, but I gotta get it out and hear some feedback if possible!

I noticed that you were asking for more help and advice - the reason why no-one else has posted will probably be that everything gregv has told you seems to be really good advice.

The symptoms you have are more than likely stress related as the thought of your possible infection dominates your thoughts.

I would suggest you either test now and again at three months or just at three months but you must not let this fear rule your life for any longer then necessary.

You have been exposed to a very small risk and must try to put this as far to the back of your mind as you can until you get tested or you will drive yourself crazy.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you.