guidos girl
06-15-2003, 02:20 AM
I was wondering about the percentage of mothers who work outside of the home. Does it help in dealing with your autistic child? I dont know if I could do it, but would LOVE to go back to school. Could use some input. Thank you.
[This message has been edited by guidos girl (edited 06-15-2003).]
[This message has been edited by guidos girl (edited 06-15-2003).]
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Pandabaire3
06-15-2003, 09:38 AM
Hmmm...well, I have a HF autistic son who is 5 now and will be entering Kindergarten this coming fall. After he was born in 1997, I stopped working to take care of him because we could afford it (this was not knowing about his problem). At the age of 2 when he still wasn't talking, we took him around to get tested and discovered his disability.
At the age of 3 years old he was placed in the public school system in the afternoons in early childhood classes - so from about 12:30 to 3pm he was in class and I had time for myself to do things. At the age of 4, he was still following this routine at school and I decided to enter the university system out here and take some classes because I felt like I wanted to use my brain since I wasn't working! So, I would take a class while he was in his class. I had previously attended the university when I was younger and had accumulated SOME credits but dropped out. A decade later, I was part time status but I managed to take 2 classes each semester while he was attending his ec classes in the afternoons. It never conflicted with taking care of him.
This year was his last in ec classes before entering "regular" school this coming fall, so I took this spring semester off so that I could spend time with him (we decided to go to Florida for several weeks to see his grandparents this spring - so I pulled him out of school. This wouldn't have been possible to do if I had ALSO been taking classes at the university).
Anyway, when he goes to Kindergarten this coming school year, I've found out that he will be going to the school right near our house. He will be attending full day school from 9am to 3:25 pm so that means I will now be able to attend the university FULL TIME as he'll be in school all day as well. I should have my associates degree by the end of spring next year. Hopefully if all goes well, I should have my Bachelor's Degree by the time he's finished with 2nd grade.
Anyhow, just thought I'd share with you that it is possible to make time for school and your child won't suffer because of it. It would be extremely difficult though to go to school and work at the same time...if your in the position where you cannot stop working - I really feel for you.
At the age of 3 years old he was placed in the public school system in the afternoons in early childhood classes - so from about 12:30 to 3pm he was in class and I had time for myself to do things. At the age of 4, he was still following this routine at school and I decided to enter the university system out here and take some classes because I felt like I wanted to use my brain since I wasn't working! So, I would take a class while he was in his class. I had previously attended the university when I was younger and had accumulated SOME credits but dropped out. A decade later, I was part time status but I managed to take 2 classes each semester while he was attending his ec classes in the afternoons. It never conflicted with taking care of him.
This year was his last in ec classes before entering "regular" school this coming fall, so I took this spring semester off so that I could spend time with him (we decided to go to Florida for several weeks to see his grandparents this spring - so I pulled him out of school. This wouldn't have been possible to do if I had ALSO been taking classes at the university).
Anyway, when he goes to Kindergarten this coming school year, I've found out that he will be going to the school right near our house. He will be attending full day school from 9am to 3:25 pm so that means I will now be able to attend the university FULL TIME as he'll be in school all day as well. I should have my associates degree by the end of spring next year. Hopefully if all goes well, I should have my Bachelor's Degree by the time he's finished with 2nd grade.
Anyhow, just thought I'd share with you that it is possible to make time for school and your child won't suffer because of it. It would be extremely difficult though to go to school and work at the same time...if your in the position where you cannot stop working - I really feel for you.
guidos girl
06-15-2003, 02:35 PM
Thank you Pandabaire3, good to see a posative experiance.Our experiance with our girl is almost identical to your experiance. She will be going into grade 2 in Sept. This will mean a new teacher and a new classromm. She is ALLREADY stressing about it. All of the classes at her school are split grades so she has been in the same one for 2 years. Hope it is not too hard on her. I havent worked since she was born but I have been looking into some collages here. Your experiance helps to motivate me even more, thank-you.
Oma61
06-17-2003, 11:18 AM
guidos girl,
Hi, my daughter is AS and is also going into 2nd grade this year. I was home with her from birth to age 4 1/2. She was in 1/2 day developmental preschool when I went back to work and she was cared for by my girl friend the rest of the day.
My experience with work is this...it has gotten my mind off of obessing only on my daughter's disorder and has gotten me out of the house with a little more social contacts, and a decent income. But...If I had to do it over again, I personally would not have gone back to work yet...I would have waited a few more years! My daughter needs lots of structure and since I have a long commute time (1 hr each way) I am the last one home in the evenings and things are usually pretty stressful by the time I walk in the door! I am happy to have a job that I enjoy, and I am happy to be helping with the family income, but I must say that for me it has been very stressful being gone for so much of the day. I also have two other children (girls 14 and 12) and there is so much to do with school, homework, extra curricular activities, etc, etc, that I just feel stressed out a lot and I think my AS daughter's behavior shows it! We each have to do what we think is best, I just feel that in my situation, it would have been better if I would have waited to go back to work after my daughter was a little older and less needy. As it is now, she goes to a very well-run day camp for the summers and she HATES it! I can hardly get her out of the car in the a.m. She thinks there are too many kids there and it's too loud! She really just wants to be at her own home, in her own yard, with her own stuff, and her mom at home! Sometimes I get to work with such a broken heart!
This is a tough decision...I know!
Best wishes!
Hi, my daughter is AS and is also going into 2nd grade this year. I was home with her from birth to age 4 1/2. She was in 1/2 day developmental preschool when I went back to work and she was cared for by my girl friend the rest of the day.
My experience with work is this...it has gotten my mind off of obessing only on my daughter's disorder and has gotten me out of the house with a little more social contacts, and a decent income. But...If I had to do it over again, I personally would not have gone back to work yet...I would have waited a few more years! My daughter needs lots of structure and since I have a long commute time (1 hr each way) I am the last one home in the evenings and things are usually pretty stressful by the time I walk in the door! I am happy to have a job that I enjoy, and I am happy to be helping with the family income, but I must say that for me it has been very stressful being gone for so much of the day. I also have two other children (girls 14 and 12) and there is so much to do with school, homework, extra curricular activities, etc, etc, that I just feel stressed out a lot and I think my AS daughter's behavior shows it! We each have to do what we think is best, I just feel that in my situation, it would have been better if I would have waited to go back to work after my daughter was a little older and less needy. As it is now, she goes to a very well-run day camp for the summers and she HATES it! I can hardly get her out of the car in the a.m. She thinks there are too many kids there and it's too loud! She really just wants to be at her own home, in her own yard, with her own stuff, and her mom at home! Sometimes I get to work with such a broken heart!
This is a tough decision...I know!
Best wishes!
memehegan
06-18-2003, 12:11 AM
Hi, I have worked outside of the home full time scince my son entered kindergarten, I am a single mom and also went to school part time. In the begining we had no car so needed to walk several miles a day to work. I work for head start and love it. My son is now 12 and has just 'graduated' 6th grade and is entering the middle school. Fortunately my job has been pretty understanding about hospitals, drs, cse, suspensions(for behaviors related to the autism and writing,)- I didnt bother with day care because I couldnt find anyone qualified to care for him anyway. Understanding his thinking can be some what like befriending a rubics cube! He is on the caisin free and gluten free diet (as well as corn, egg, hydrogenated oils, sodium nitrates, chocolate.....)so I have to cook everything for him from scratch with no preservatives. I get up at six and fix him a dinner like meal- for his lunch and homemade french fries, waffles or doughnuts for breakfast and snack) He is diagnosised PDD/NOS with autisitic like behaviors as well as severe adhd and SAD. Scince the diet he has grown and grown, in all areas except handwritting and bladder retention. They are both seriously delayed. I was so excited to learn at the eye doctor yesterday that the doctor could identify a defect in his eyes and ability to track! I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate. He was restrained aprox 100 times (often bruised and injured) during writing and reading assignments through out grade school- that the school insited was not a learning or visual disability but rather an emotional behavior avoidance technique! When I get the report I would love to mail it to everyone of his teachers who treated me like a baffoon for suggesting that they listen to his words "I cant" (and be awed that he used words!) to avoid the rage attacks that only happened when he was reading, writing or seriously injured!!! Finally lasted year after a lawyer accepted our case, the school district CSE director happened to change hands and we have far less problems. At todays CSE I got everything I wanted. Even the summer one to one aide that was refused last year was approved this summer without the blink of an eye. The doctor said that his right eye stays put for a brief period when he begins to read and then jumps all over the place. When Jay was younger it made him so mad. It was like Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde. Sometimes he would have a startle response when he finshed a line of print and tried to refocus on the next one. The most interesting thing is that at 12 this is his second eye exam. The doctor only told me about his eye because I came in saying he is completely unable to copy from the board or from one paper to another without raging (and subsequently being restrained and suspended)and it is the only time it happens. He told me that they have been instructed not to share this type of defect with parents beacause there is little that can be done for it that is not still in the experimental stages. He said they can only diagnosis it if it is severe enough as in cases seen with severe brain damage- (Jay actually has a nonverbal IQ of 119 and a verbal -post diet of 98) He was so pointed in his explanation about most doctors following protocol about not informing parents that I realized after I left that no doubt the first doctor who I begged for help when he was probably in third grade saw it and noted it in his folder but didnt tell us. This doctor is writing a letter for the school confirming that this type of vision issue would make copying from the board or one paper to another very challengeing and fustrating. This year Jay finally became comfortable enough to catch a base ball competently( another challenge when tracking with the eyes)! My god, I even had him tested for "reading seizures" after the first eye exam was reportedly "normal" -just thought I share this incase anyone else has a similar experience. Jay gets new reading glasses tomorrow that may or may not help- if he tolerates them the doctor will experiment with tints in september.-meme