My son will be 15 this month (April) and I am very concerned about him. He started wearing braces about a year ago. Recently he thought he was going to have his braces removed, but the doctor seems to ignore his requests for how much longer they have to be on. My son has been reduced to tears when I talk to him about this, and it is apparent that he has reached his "critical mass" so to speak with being patient with this doctor and the braces overall. I realize that this is a difficult adolescent time for him with all the raging hormones and the obvious obsessing on physical appearance, but I believe his basic frustration with this process stems from the ortho's reluctance to communicate with him or to at least encourage him with

any information about where he is going with the treatment, why nothing is changing with closing the gap on this last tooth. I will also say in my son's defense, that over the years he has suffered with asthma and a myriad of allergies in his lifetime, and

he never, ever, once complained when he was ill, (which was a scary thing with asthma), but I make this point to emphasize the fact that if he is complaining it must be pretty bad!!! Some of the problem may be coming from

another kid in school who had really misaligned teeth who has now had his braces removed. My son's

have been on for approximately one year, and the ortho communicated to him at the onset that one year

would be the aproximate duration of wearing the braces. He is more than ready for them to come off,

but each visit, the doctor summarily dismisses him (the grandparents take him to see the doc in my

absence) and I don't want to overstep any boundaries since they have footed the bill for this process.

He is in tears when he talks about it to me and I can see that he really feels the doctor is

ignoring/disrespecting him and is not willing to answer any of his questions which he feels are valid at

this point. I told my mother to communicate this to the assistant and see if they could have a

conference with the doctor to discuss his treatment. My son did report that my mom tried that but

nothing ever came of it and once again the doctor runs in, looks in my son's mouth and runs out and

tells him to wear his rubber bands. My son's position is that he is trying to close one very small gap on

the side of his mouth that hasn't budged in several months. He is diligent to wear the gig and the

rubber bands as the doctor has instructed him to do (he is very dutiful), but thinks the treatment is being

prolonged indefinitely and without good reason. I am sure the doctor has every good intention, ability, and reason for

this delay, but part of his care should be to communicate realistically to both the patient and the

parent(s) what course the treatment is taking or what he is trying to accomplish and to give both my

self and my son some indication of a timeline for all of this. I alsothink it is unfortunate that he

didn't tell my son realistically what his expectations should have been and the amount of time he would be

required to wear the braces. Now with this recent project of closing this last "gap" my son's hope has been dashed in having them removed and he doesn't

see any hope on the horizon due to this doctor's overall indifference and lack of communication. At

the very least he doesn't understand why he can't have the clear braces put on and the "railroad tracks" as he calls them removed since the major alignment of his

teeth has been successfully done. I really feel like he could accept whatever other steps he needs to take to complete this treatment to its full completion, if he only knew on some level what he was now trying to do and why nothing

seems to be changing. The grandparent's don't feel that my son's complaints are valid and just think he

has run out of patience and is being unreasonable. Ordinarily, I am a hardliner and would tend to agree, but I really feel that this doctor should take into account what a difficult time these kids have with wearing these braces at this tender age, and that getting

encouragement and receiving open, honest communication is very important and an integral part of their overall care. Since my parents are older, naturally, my son feels they are from the old school and believe doctors are "Gods in and of

themselves", and shouldn't be challenged, but my position is that he is lacking in his practice if my son is having this much of a

problem accepting what he is doing and where he is going with his treatment. My question: How do I

approach this doctor and communicate mine and my son's questions and concerns without offending

the grandparents? Is there a standard length of time that the ortho deems that the teeth have reached a

point that they no longer will benefit from the braces and they have finished with what they were trying

to do? Can they be removed in a situation where there is only one small area that has not completely

closed? My son thinks he is just continuing the treatment for monetary reasons since he is being paid

monthly. I don't want to interfere and of course want my son to receive the full benefit from this

treatment, but I don't want him to become so depressed and angered by this doctor's callousness that

it effects him emotionally at a time when he is already struggling with other problems.
Thanks for the ear!!!

I'm no orthodontist, so all I can tell you is my experience. I wore my braces for 3 years. from 13-16. I'd consider your son lucky if he only has to have them for a little over a year. (hopefully)

I don't know if there is a standard length of time for braces. Most everyone I know had them from 2 to 3 years. It may be that the dr. is continuing because the gap isn't closing like he originally thought it would. Everybody's mouth is different. Is the only problem a small gap on the side? If so, I don't understand why all that money was spent in the first place. But that's just me.

If anything, I would have your son speak up to the dr. Since he's the one in the room with him, he can get the dr.'s attention easier than the grandparents. Have your son directly ask him at his next appointment what the deal is. When are they coming off, why has treatment been extended, all that jazz. Maybe then you can bypass the grandparents. They'd never have to know really. The nobody's offended.

I can see both points though. Your son wants them off. Understandably so. The grandparents say he's run out of patience. That could be true too. But in any event, what I would suggest is have your son ask directly. It's kind of hard for a dr. to avoid you and your questions if you corner them before the work begins.

Hope this helped

hi , i know how your son feels i'm 46 an have been in braces an headgear for 40 months now , yes it is a pain but it is all worth it in the end not to have it done as he gets to be an adult , get your son to ask the orthodontist an for the ortho to call you , you are his parent he has to talk with you even though yor parents are paying for his orthodontic treatment, joe martin