I feel for you and your grandmother. I lost my mother a week before christmas due to a 11 year battle with breast cancer. she lived in another state but thankfully the make a wish foundation and cancer society flew me to see her. It is very hard to watch and know that someone is dying. Spend all the time you can with your grandmother. Talk about the good times you had together. God blessed you with the oppurtunity to spend time and say good-bye to her. I kept avoiding my feelings after she died. HAving no one to talk to made me not want to think about it. After mother's day came though i cannot stop crying. If you need to talk, I would more than willing. It might help me as well. I cannot say i "know" exactly how you feel, but I know it hurts. If you need my email address let me know. I am not sure how this all works here, i just joined a week ago and am having a hard time figuring out how this posting works. I keep posting and somehow change the name of the orignal post member or reply to myself...take care i 'm here if you want to talk. :angel: