half-life
05-03-2004, 03:00 AM
I really need help. I dont know what is wrong with me. I am a teenage boy, and I havn't had any trauma or problems on a major scale in th past. In general, though, I hate myself. I don't know why. I make very good grades, don't do any drugs, no sex, lots of friends. I just hate myself. Also I think about suicide almost every day. I know that I don't have the guts now to do it but I still am obsessed with the idea that I do not belong alive. Also, and other people notice too, I have huge mood swings. I am very non-violent, and am not easily angered, but i jump around between extremely happy and goofy and energetic to feeling like I'd like nothing more than to die. This happens very fast, too. Also, I am a very very abstract thinker. Alot of times I say things that a) confuse everyone when it makes perfect sense to me b) scare people or c) make people think too philosophicly. the last part of my condition is an extreme love of other people and the ideals of peace. Baisically, I love everyone and hate myself very much. I dont know if this adds any insight as to wether i have a problem or not, but its always better to ask. Please help me.
Sponsor
Foxbluff
05-03-2004, 04:20 PM
Hi. I'm sorry about the problems you're having. You sound like you have a lot going for you, and that's good. However, it's not good that you think about suicide. Please go to your family doc and explain to him/her the same things you've described here. The sooner you find out what the problem is, the better! Good luck. Fox
Rick7799
05-03-2004, 05:50 PM
It sounds like you may have something called bi-polar disorder. It's the mood swings that define the condition. You describe it well. There is treatment for it so you need to talk to someone. On healthboards there is forum called bi-polar disorder. You may want to check it out.
Jenneh
05-15-2004, 04:05 PM
heya, i can relate to you, im always having violent mood swings, but since being on anti-depressants they have calmed down.
the problem with having such a low-self-esteem which i also have, is your only hurting yourself. thers no tablet that can help you to pull your self esteem up, your the only one who can do anything about it.
it is hard work, but im sure its worth it in the end. maybe just start by examining your personality, and ask yourself, if u were such a bad person, why do u have friends and family who love you?
at the moment, all your thoughts about yourself being such a bad person are all just irrational, and when ur surrounded by those all day, no wonder u think of suicide.
most people just say that "its a teenage phase which you wil grow out of" but i know its a bit more than that.
why dont you go to your doctor and just explain how you feel to them? maybe he/she can refer you to someone, or give you sum medication that will help you on the journey to recovery.
best wishes
Jen xxxx
the problem with having such a low-self-esteem which i also have, is your only hurting yourself. thers no tablet that can help you to pull your self esteem up, your the only one who can do anything about it.
it is hard work, but im sure its worth it in the end. maybe just start by examining your personality, and ask yourself, if u were such a bad person, why do u have friends and family who love you?
at the moment, all your thoughts about yourself being such a bad person are all just irrational, and when ur surrounded by those all day, no wonder u think of suicide.
most people just say that "its a teenage phase which you wil grow out of" but i know its a bit more than that.
why dont you go to your doctor and just explain how you feel to them? maybe he/she can refer you to someone, or give you sum medication that will help you on the journey to recovery.
best wishes
Jen xxxx
alphamale9009
05-22-2004, 05:11 AM
Read Nathaniel Branden's The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, and the works of Ayn Rand. They present a different perspective from the Christian love others and hate thyself paradigm that is driving you crazy. They are not "the truth", but they present and interesting perspective that will help you learn how to think more sensibly about your place in the world.
Carol45
05-31-2004, 05:47 AM
Do you have an exceptionally high IQ? I have seen what you describe in extreemly intellegent people. Also in people who are very inventive / creative. Many are hard on themselves, expecting perfection from themselves, either consciously or subconsciously.
What ever the cause for your feelings, don't let it take over your life.. I was 'there' 45 years ago. It took a long time to like myself. I do relapse now and then, but I am happy with my life and happy with myself (in my old age).
What ever the cause for your feelings, don't let it take over your life.. I was 'there' 45 years ago. It took a long time to like myself. I do relapse now and then, but I am happy with my life and happy with myself (in my old age).