Hi James,

I'm sorry to hear your story. I would like to encourage you however. First of all, I don't think it was a mistake that you posted your message on this particular board. You were guided to this board by something that has been with you your entire life. The one thing I would like to tell you is that you're NEVER all alone! Even when everyone in this world seems to be against you, you should find comfort that there's one person that will always stay by your side.

Now before you discount this as a message from a religious fanatic, I can assure you that I'm not one of them! I'm probably the most practical guy you'll ever meet. But please hear me out on this one point. Even though I don't know you from Adam, I can say, without a doubt, that YOU were made for greatness before you were even born! The simple fact that you are even able to communicate at this level is a miracle in of itself and gives me hope for my child. So you're already helping other people w/o even knowing it!

This is only the beginning of the good things that will soon start happening for you. If you're not in the faith, or have recently fallen out of faith due to the issues, or never had the opportunity to attend a local church on aregular basis, now is the time. Only the 'enemy' (that's the devil) constantly reminds us of our failures, our past, tells us we're all alone, etc. but God reminds us of who we are and how great we can be. Out of all the negative things that has been happening to you over your life span, I' sure I can point out the positives and the things that prove that angels are watching over you, even through the bad times. I speak from experience on this.

In your future, I can see you using your past experiences to help others like yourself (no I'm not psychic or anything :-). I see you turning what the devil meant for bad into GOOD!

What I see is a young man destined for greatness! One thing is for sure. Prayer DOES work. It works for yourself and when others are praying for you. You at least have one other person who will be praying for you! So hang in there and turn things around for yourself. Start looking at ways that you can be a blessing to someone else. Usually, good things happen to people who look to be a blessing to others.

Also, if you already haven't done so, start reading up everything you can on Aspergers to find ways to treat yourself.

Be encouraged,
RD

Hi James here, thank you for all your kind words and support.
I've found it very difficult in my life (I'm sorry for being pathetic..But I have'nt been able to talk to any one for almost 18yrs), I know by reading this (Just like if you met me..Like other people have) You'll think he sounds like his practically like most other 21yr olds, But I can only talk to this level of sophistication on a computer (Luckily I managed to learn how to read and write..But sadly that was'nt/is'nt enough). If I met anyone and they came up to talk to me (If they wanted to talk to me, depending what condition I'm in - I feel like I'm like a broken mirror - in shards/ varying parts of me - sometimes feeling very/hyper alert worrying at the slightest sound flash of light- sometimes feeling very numb..My carere says I don't even talk to him even if he shouts at me or tells me to do something-sometimes saying very simplistick/small sentances that can be very unclear..which makes my carer very angry.
Anyway..Once i was left (in that scary/violent place of no hope after being hit/attacked and sometimes spat at in the face) in there for four years I could'nt take it anymore I begged them to be let out to be aloud to go to a normal school or even a nicer/special needs school (After I was assessed at the age of 8yrs old..Which my mum begged for (Which Mum says they knew about my posble special needs pos Dyslexia from age of 5yrs atleast..But they kicked me out and left me alone at home until age of 7yrs old). At the age of 8yrs old they said I had special learning difficulties and after a lot of asking they said quetly to my mum that it was Dyslexia..But they did'nt want to label me. So They finally aloud me to have a book on sounds "Word Attack" which I was shown when I was 9yrs old and my teacher MrParker told me the sounds and made me copy him..so after three yrs i read my first book "The Hobbit and then Lord of the Rings".
But that was the only real progress I made. Thye kept having a go at me and the teachers said i was'nt mixing with the other students (Which I felt am still feeling really confused since they would gang up and attack me and they teachers would say I was a disruptive influence..because I was "making myself isolated" because I would sit at my desk and try to learn (I had a thirst for knowledge..But would be attacked for doing it..Once I was strangled from behind and pulled to the ground right infront of my teacher watching it made me very upset..But after years of crying as a boy all alone - I still feel pain but it's made me become more trapped inside myself and less able to feel. I think it's because I gradually found out that no one would come and help/save me.
Any way even now that i've been assessed, I've still been left alone and it's gone no further than that - that was last year in August. Once I reached 16yrs old, they said I had to leave the violent place and go to college I had my final meeting an they said "nothing was wrong with me" and that I was "just using being Dyslexic as a excuse and that I was lazy/not willing to try" (Even though all i could do was read and Write and nothing else ..other than my very imaginative mind i.e. art/media. Which not being taught how to learn new things and being propoly educated made it near impossible - if not very difficult without help). So I was left by myself to get into college with my really bad grades (Which was 5 G.c.s.e's at really low grtades, the highest being an almost A* but because I could'nt support my work with good research an presentation skills I was put down by 1 point to an A in Art..Which the only reason I got that level of grade was that i was alowed to go to a normal school for 1 hour a week for half a year - which was the first time i did'nt need to look over my shoulder and be constantly affraid of someone hitting me or freterning me. The other grades were D/E/E and an F which made my struggle for a good start seem worthless compared to my years of struggleling mostly on my own.
So once I was lucky enough toget an art place in college (Only because of my A in Art and my good portfolio which the head of Art said was very promising/interesting) it soon went down hill from there..I tried to be normal ,But even though I could read an write I still felt something was wrong with me and that everyone was different from me and when I tried to mix with the other students alot of them would not be nice to me..They would say just becuase I did'nt act like the other guys (Because I did'nt chat up the girls or talk that much to them about other things such as things about my friends and sexual life outside of college - Which I did'nt have or do..Since I had been alone since the age of 6yrs and had been put into an all boy behavioral place where I was attacked on a daily basis so was'nt allowed the opotunity to learn aboutr having relationships with girls an how to talk to them- So they would torment me saying I must be gay and they would continue to ask personal question about my sexual life...Which because I had been messed up in the past I did'nt have a life let alone a romantic side to it. The worst thing i have learnt through all my experiances/failers is that i have the potential to do lots of creative things to do with media but I only have enough actual skills to be aware of what i could do without having the ability to access it - which is a fate worse than death..since when I see people together in love an i know because of all my Dissabilities and past full of abuse (Which certain things i could only tell someone if I truly trusted them - which would be very difficult since I've been lied to and neglected and abused by even the closest of people I thought i could trust) I will never have anyone that could love me - because I cant have a job even though I want one (Mostly because I feel like a loser an not a man..An that I have nothing to offer - Because even though i have deep feelings and that I wish to hold someone and be held by someone, I can't say the things I feel in words..Only through my eyes/my touch..Could someone see how I feel,But because I've never had anyone say they loved me I know a lady would know I am a freak an a disgusting thing (Like Gollum/Smeagul out of Lord of the Rings - which I'm not saying that other people with Aspergers are like that. just me). I also have an eating disorder which like most of me has been ignored - which I think because I only have baerly have one full days worth of food a week (Because even though I can cook certain things theres reason why i can't cook at times which your probly think is a stupid reason/s - partly because my mum would shout and leap back as if in pain when ever she would cook hot things when i was a kid which i am now in fear of getting burned/ also partly because I suffer from depression and I've been through alot of bad things an have only now at the age of 21 yrs been allowed to have some freedom, after i escaped from home where my alchoholic father would permanently fretern me and say i was stupid/lazy and that he wished I was'nt his son an he pulled a knife outside the garden one drunk night after muttering to himself on many nights and said just lowed enough so i could just hear him an he said he'd might aswell kill himself, me and my mum I saw the knife glisten in the night and froze more than usal and sneeked upstairs after sometime and called my mum..After that I knew i could'nt live there any more and that I had to try an get away, but sadly could'nt leave until 19yrs old and ended up in a hostel where I heard people say they were going to kill me and they were on drugs and regurly tried to set fire to the hostel, which i would be waken up (When I could get to sleep until it got to the point where I needed pills to make myself sleep) with the fire alarm which scared me nearly each night sometimes more than once a night sometimes thinking that each night was my last beacuse I was too fretiegned to go outside my room at night where allthere was was them because the manager would only stay until 4:00pm from monday - friday and he would come into my locked room nearly every morning when he knew I'd be asleep and in bed naked (Because the room was 30c throughout the night and even hotter in the day (That was from january 2002 to september 2003) , only in winter would it go down to 25c in winter) and he was fully aware that I had a fear of men especially asleep naked and he knew I was'nt a suicidal person (Even though after all the things he put me through I wanted to die just so I would'nt have to be afraid and suffer any more- which was why I had left my home) because the doctor said taht I had depression but was'nt suicidal..Otherwise she would have got me into hospital..Plus I had never tried to comit suicide so there was no suspision of me doing that. Sorry about this said too big continue in another thread-sorry.

Hi Jamesalone,

Good hearing from Ya! Well, I think I still got you beat in terms of the length of posts :-) Mines only look smaller because I break up my paragraphs whenever I switch topics - to make it a little easier to read.

Anyway, it appears you've had a very interesting past. My advice is to keep that stuff in the past and use it as a learning experience - although I know that sounds much easier said than done! Unfortunately, you can change the past and what happened so there's no reason to live in the past so you'll need to move on to the bright future I truely believe you have.

I believe you'll be able to use your life story as a testimony for others down the road that you'll be able to help - but that's later in your life. The best way to find out what God's purpose was for you is to follow your heart and concentrate on delevoping that things that seem to interest you the most. In other words, what things to do find your self enjoying to do? When you get depressed (and all of us, normal or otherwise get depressed now and then), what do you do that helps relaxes you? What drives you to wake up in the morning to face another day? Whatever that thing or things is/are, this is what God's purpose is for you. Every single one of us was made uniquely for a particular purpose that no other person on this Earth could fulfill. Yes, it may be similar to what thousands of other people can do but your thing has something very unique to it.

Quick example based on your story: You mentioned creativity and art as a hidden passion that you have. Ok, there are plenty of artists out there however no one has the unique experience in life as you had and that will show up in your creativity and art. Try and get a hold of this. Again, as I mentioned before, what the Devl meant for bad, God can turn it around for good. I think you can use your experiences in the art you create - just make sure they'er not all sad things ;-) Turn ones of those sad moments into a happy moment. I'm just kindof thinking outloud here. Only you can take advantage of your creativity.

One more thing. Don't worry about those so called friends who tease you about your sexuality. There's no shame in being a virgin. The only time you should start having sex is after you're married anyway so just ignore those guys. I too was talked about in college because I wasn't going after the girls like my buddies were (I had a girlfriend at the time but she was in college in another state). Peole (both women and men) started wondering if I was gay or something. I just ignored them. Also, the last thing you really need to be worrying about is a women at this point in time. Again, easier said than done but I just had a Father - son talk with my teenager and told him the same thing. Don't even think about women while you're in college. You must concentrate on studying and graduating, getting a steady job, and THEN you can start thinking about them. My dad didn't have that talk with me before I got into college and it got me into trouble. Luckily through God's grace, the person I met in college is still the same woman I've been married to now for 18 years! God will send you the right girl at the right time if you ask him to. That means you don't need to go looking for your girl. The girl will eventually come to you.

Ok, now that you don't have the burden of worrying about a mate just yet, let's concentrate on getting YOU straight :-) My advice to you is to take it one step at a time. It didn't take you overnight to experience all of the pain you have experience so getting out of all this will not happn overnight either.

Got to go for now...
RD

Hi again part two of this really long/Too big story of my life (You would'nt believe by looking at this...But this is the Not so detailed/short version) anyway back to the really big..He was told that what he was doing was seriously effecting me and he just said that he was "supposed to walk in on people to check if they were still alive" even though he was informed that he was making me suffer. And it was'nt just that in the beginning when all I had was the streets or to go into the hostel, my O.T. knew that I had a history of being abused by men who were on substances such as alchohol and she said that even though it was a hostel for guys they were'nt on any substances and that she checked the hostel and that they were friendly and it was safe. But obviously she was lying and after doing that she noticed that because she had lied to me and that i was in fear of going outside my room and that because of this my condition ahd considerably worsend..She then freightened me that I would be left in the hostel and that she would'nt help me get to the better supported hostel (Which I would then have my own kitchen and bathroom basically have my own flat with the support I would need), which she did keep atleast that promise at christmas 2002 she left me and just because - while I was waited for her outside her O.T. office I normally sit in a corner of the room not getting in anyones way and she did'nt like this and ordered me to sit on a chair "Like normal people" and she then decided to leave me outside the office and talk to my mum (And this was my last session with my O.T. which she told me and my mum before we got there), leaving all alone and then she left in december 2002 and I did'nt have another O.T. for nearly four months..So basically had no one helping in my condition. I felt horrible I thought that was the worst I could feel in my life, at Christmas eve 2002 I went and waited outside near the steps in the alley (Having walked the whole way home in the cold dark from the 4 mile hostel in the night before - which was hard for me since I have Agrafobia - which yet again no one has still picked up on it..even though for nearly a year I stayed in my room in the hostel non stop even though it was gradually killing me (Because of the heat..which Igot seriously ill an nearly went into hospital, which I could'nt allow since I'm affraid of doctors and especially hospitals, which I actually needed to go into since I had'nt eaten for nearly a whole month plus I was being sick everytime I tried to eat anything and had serious an imbarrisin diorea). After nearly 10:00pm at night I finally got the strength to knock on the door and go in and after awhile I tried to talk to my father since my mum said my father had changed..but when I tried to make things better he blamed me and said he did'nt like me because I was bad, but I said to him how can you not like me because I was'nt successful in school he just started having a go at meagain and I tried to say how I felt but it felt impossible (like being caged inside my own mind and like trying to see through a murky lake where I can only see a small part of what lies beneath). But I could'nt sleep so I sat up down stairs and I knew my father would be coming down in another thew minutes because he had to go to work at 4:30am I was really scared of what he might do but I had to finally say how he made me feel and what happened when I was a kid. He came down and I was soon intears as soon as he came through the door I had'nt seen him for a year and I felt bad, I poured my heart out and told him how I loved him and that I wish that he could have loved me and that I was sorry for dissapointing him and that I wish he did'nt hate me I was still in tears ytring to some how get the strength to carry on but I needed to hug him and be hugged by him....I had'nt said I loved him let alone hugged him for 7yrs and desperately wanted to be hugged by him and have him say he loved me and I even more desperately wanted him to say he was proud of me and what I had survived through and most of all he was sorry...I think that if he had said that then I'd have forgiven him and even gone home....But with me look up at him with tear filled eyes he only said he had to go to work and that he'd talk to me later - he did'nt say he loved me or sorry he just got angry an I saw that hatefull stare of his. But I was still hopefull... will have to put the other bit in another post sorry.

Hi again final part of this thing thanks for atleast (Hopefully) of reading half of this silly thing..Well here it is...After him leaving at 4:40am he did'nt even say anything to me when he had an hour lunch, he said he'd talk to me later tonight. It was now 8:30pm and he still had'nt said anything to me and he had been in since 6:10pm I tried to ask why he had'nt spoken to me yet and he just got angry at me and shouted and said he had nothing to appulachize for..I said to him what about the nights when I was 6yrs old and I had to help mum put him to bed and then that every saturday he'd would shout at me just for asking him a question and when he spoke to me about something he did'nt like the answer so he'd look at me with those hate filled eyes and get close to my face with bared teeth and I could smell the beer on his breath when he'd fretern to smack/punch me across the room just for talking or looking to him from the age of 8yrs old. So after trying for an hour to get through to him and ask him to love me he said he could'nt because he would'nt take all the blame (Since I was equal to him at those time - at the ages 5yrs old/6yrs old/7yrs old/8yrs old/9yrs old/10yrs old/11yrs old/12yrs old and from this point it got much more worse with him becoming more violent towards me. 13yrs old/14yrs old/15yrs old/16yrs old/17yrs old/18yrs old/19yrs old) because it was partly my fault. I could'nt take any more so I left at 11:12pm to walk back to the hostel and to try and put my fathers hatred behind me. After getting back at the hostel which god knows what time I got in for at the moment Life/Time..Nothing mattered anymore I felt like an outcast..My own mum suffered to a certain level from my fathers drinking and she had taken me with her up to Wales to think - since she said she did'nt love him anymore and that she wanted a divorce and that she asked if I wanted to go with her right in front of my father and brother (Who as far as he was concerned was a great father that did'nt have a drinking problem..So that was why he used him for money and could'nt stand it anymore and so got a university place half way across the country and can't stand being in the same room with him for more than anymore than he has to and would allways go up to his room and stay up there until our father would go up to bed?). Once we came back from Wales she decide to make me go back with her, knowing what my father had done to me and when I said I'd rather be on the streets she look at me with such a pained look as though I was betraying her, when it was me an my mum that was innocent and that I did'nt deserve to go into a hostel full of men. So she treated me as though I was the one that had done wrong and jumped right back into bed with the man she said she did'nt love anymore and left me in a drug and alcholic infested hostel full of scary men. Everyone in the family treats me as though I'm the one taht is the bad person and many times I feel that I am...Since if the whole world says your the problem and that your the bad person who does'nt deserve to be happy and have a life..Because being left with no one and even my carer tries to force me to learn the things saying that even though I'm able to tell him I have a short-term memmory problem which means I find it very difficult to learn new things (Like new skills), but he wants me to learn to say things..Like if I say to him that something reads as "Ballawe of bill" (I can't read when letters are to together or joined up which was what it was) and I say "I can't read it" and try different ways of saying it, which if a normal person was saying it it would sound like they were taking the mickey out of them and that he knows that I have a speech problem (Since he has been working very hard for little pay to help me for atleast 3yrs now) and he even helps me comunicate to people, so it's a part of my problem and it's do with the way my brain works which it was born like that. I'm unable to do the basic things especially talking - It takes nearly all my concentration which nearly allways give me avery bad headache..So I have to not be put under preasure..But he got very upset and angry and said "Even a 5 year old and an idiot would understand what I have written" - Which made me start to cry beacuse he knew that I was'nt trying to be rude..It was just a part of my problem that I feel really bad about - Basically that I'm a worthless thing and very pathetic that I have these problems and I'm frieghtened of even saying how he makes me feel when he does that..Since he said he would'nt be able to work with me (Which would mean I'd be left all alone again and that I've got no one else to help me so the next time they take away my support and I'm left again for nearly three months without money which they've done it twice, then I'd be all alone because my O.T. knew about me having no money for bills or food since the third week of the first month and she said she'd do something but left me and did'nt call even not until a week before it was sorted out by my carer who is'nt even acknowledged and is left to do the doctors job the O.T's job and even the person who's supposed to help me go out and things like normal people (Which I have'nt had their help since I nearly went into hospital which was in May 2003even until March 2004) and the doctor left me in christams 2003 (The first time they left me with no support up untill 24th dec christmas eve 2003 and when I saw the doctor at the hospital which I find really difficult to do since hospitals make me feel sick, I saw her before it was sorted out and that the lasttime i saw her was three months before this which was the time when I had no support..So I was feeling very bad and needed her to say that she cared, but instead of that she said that "Nothing was good enough (Meaning that she already helped me get Dissabilty Living Allowance - which the main person who deals with that area said i should have been getting that since the age of 16yrs old - and that she helped in me get a independent flat - which actually my carer helped me get because he got the solicitor involved because of the harm that was being done to me in the hospital and taht the O.T. department had lied and stopped me going to the place they'd promised i'd get into because she'd written a private report ment for the hospital and sent it to the special place's meeting that would decide weather i'd get in there or not which said the opposite of what she said to me and my mum, which also said that my mum blamed me for the reason for the marriage was breaking up and that I'd basically been plotting against my father when I'd actually wanted my mum and father to love each other and for them to love me, which i got the report sent to me by a place called advocay which is a place inside the hospital that is supposed to help patients. the report was given to the people in the mmeting and they said that the level of support i needed (From what the report showed - which all the medical info was done by the O.T and not by my doctor.also the doctor was'nt asked about the report to take a look at it) was higher than what they could offer - which is interesting since it's then O.K. to leave me in a place with even less support than what the special place had, which they left me in there for 11months knowing that I was left in aplace where I could'nt get to use the wash facillities and also that I could'nt get to food which meant I was left without food for five days of the week and that I'd try to live off of one full meal a week and that because of the enviroment of the hostel I could'nt get out for three weeks at a time only at a raer occassion with my carer and when no one was in which meant i had to wait for over 13 hours to be able to go the basic toilet facillities and on top of that I was in a room that at peek of the summer got up to 40c at night in a small room which was torment and also not least the violent acts that happened outside my room and the place being set fire to regurly) and after I tried to tell her what had happened she looked at he wacth for the 7th time and said as she walked past me out of the room "Well I'm going home to my family to have now to have a nice christmas" and she carried on walking down the hall and basically left me there (Which I'd only been there for just coming up to an hour..But she wanted to not listen since I was'nt the new mental patient, so she tired of me it seems) and did'nt even say goodbye or even set up another appointment and left me alone like she did regurly and that was the last time I saw her and she did'nt even say goodbye or send me a letter after over four months - I still have'nt got a letter an that was from not seeing her from 23rd Dec 2003 to now 8th May 2004 and I found out through the hospital by my carer from a phone call 9Which was Aprill 28th 2004) and have had no official letter and I've now found out she's still in the hospital but has just left me to go do something else with someone else (At 4th May 2004- which left feeling that everyone lies and leaves me and I know even the one person thtasyas they'll be here forever, will leave me soon..Not to say they already ahve'nt). well thats all I feel I can say now, it's taken alot out of me, sorry again for writing so much whining.

Thank you Autmom for showing me the asperger site, I'll give it a looksie in alittle while...If you want you can call me by my first name...James (Thats if you want to).
Could I call you by your first name? That's if you want to tell me...Can I also ask a special favor of you? It's this - My mum and carer does'nt understand practically anything about Aspergers (Not that I'm an expert or anything). They get upset and angry at me because I don't say things the way they do an that I sometimes forget to think of their feelings (By saying things that if someone without aspergers said would be an insult or something rude..Like "I don't like that dress mum" or saying things in a way that would be taking the mickey if I did'nt have Aspergers..The only time I do say things that are not nice or rude is when I get upset or as a defense if someone says something not nice to me) and they think they can teach/train me not to think the way I do (Bascically "Not be Aspergers" - By continually try to force me to "think the way they do" and that "if they can't then they wont be able to work with me/Have to leave me"). Can you write here what you think about this please...I can't take being put through this pain again (The last people that care for me and who I care for) and I'm afraid that they'll leave me like every one else has...I don't think I could bare being abandond again.
If Not then thank you for all your help.


James,
It seems you are able to write a lot about how you feel. Have you tried showing some of this writing to your mum and carer to help them understand?
No one should be forced to think a certain way. My own son has a more classic autism. I consider aspergers to be in the autism spectrum, and hope that you can be accepted for the person you are. Not sure what else I can say...Maybe some others on the board can think of more...

Autmom, thank you for your support and advice. Sadly when I try to talk to them they say things too quickly and i get confused and they treat me like a person without Aspergers (Which is great in one way..But not when they don't understand what problems I have and what help/support I need...I don't even know what help/support I need and most of my problems I have). Also if I write things/say things they think I'm only saying these things because I'm "Lazy" or "Just don't Want to Try"..Even though for 17yrs I've tried to be "Normal" and fit in..Which has only caused me Pain/Depression and Confusion...I've tried to ern the Love of my Father and Mum and Brother, and to have people like me an not treat me like a desease/weird freak - Which I have'nt got and dought I'll ever get.
Thank you again for showing me the Aspergers site,I've taken a look at it and it's given me quite alot..Especially the piece on It's not a deases and that parents should love the special child they have and not neglect them by using the time they have together Mourning the loss of they child they Wanted. Thank you so much

Thank you again for showing me the Aspergers site,I've taken a look at it and it's given me quite alot..Especially the piece on It's not a deases and that parents should love the special child they have and not neglect them by using the time they have together Mourning the loss of they child they Wanted. Thank you so much

James,
You must mean the one by Jim Sinclair, "Dont' Mourn For Me." I like that one! :)

Hi James,

I was just wondering if you are on any meds currently or are taking any vitamin supplements at all?

RD

Hi Autmom and alltheanswers, Thats good to hear that you like that one.

I have'nt got a doctor now..She left me under bad things (Like I said in my very long story) and I still have no doctor from 24th December 2003 to now (13th May 2004) and still continueing.
Even when I was diagnosed (which was August 12th 2003) they did'nt say or offer anything I'm left allone and I'm in an even worst condition than when I first tried to get help..I can't sleep without my sleeping pills and they sxaid I had to take Efexor XL 175mg a day..To make me feel better..But since taking them (That was December 21st 2002) I can't enjoy food..I barely eat two meals a week it's just a chore. And I felt a bit numb when I was first put into the hostel..But now it's worse..I can only feel pain but even that takes alot to get through..I can't get happy..Even if something really nice happens..Like when the Lord of the Rings got 11 Oscars and I'd been waiting for since they were being filmed..I just felt numb/dead inside..like rotting flesh..But all so kinda sad..Like I was mourning my own death. I'm getting the Reflections LotR cards TCG set today thats really good..Wells at least there's something that gets something from inside to come out other than pain or feeling dead... I get these big headaches and they come all the time especially when I have to think about things..Like money/buying things...talking to people or atleast trying to..also writing, an trying to go out meeting people. I have to take head pills to take the pain or atleast numb the pain every 3 times a dayeven more if things happen I only have to take them once or twice when I'm allone since I feel more safe relaxed by myself So basically I'm still being neglected from 5yrs old - 21yrs old and counting....

Hi James,

Hmmmm...I'm not a doctor by a long shot :-) but it seems to me that at least some of your problems (like headaches) may be from not eating normally and probably due to malnutrition as well. Stress comes from a lack of certain vitamins. Sleeplessness comes from a lack of certain vitamins as well. Also, forms of depression comes from a lack of proper nutrients in your body. Ok, I may sound like a doctor here but believe me, I'm not :-)

Since I know your financial situation is not the best, I would recommend that somehow you try to get a hold of some general vitamins (the mega-vitamins) that cover 100% of the recommended daily allowance of all the essential vitamins- which you can get from any local grocery or drug store. Ideally, if you get get your hands on this DMG stuff that I just recently obtained and will begin to try on my daughter, that may be better (see my other posts from the vitamin B6, Magnesium/ DMG thread). I don't know if it will help with Aspergers specifically but it suppose to help with behaviors, socialization (being able to socialize and communicate beter with people), and helps cope with stress.

The vitamins you should be able to find but the DMG stuff I'm not sure about in the UK where you're at. You can go to their website to get more info on the various vitamins available: www.foodscienceofvermont.com

I will continue to pray for you and pray that God's grace will come upon you!

RD

Hi Alltheanswers, I'll show my carer your post and hopefully we can find the things you say could help. Thank you for all your kind words and especially your advice - I hope they work to make my life a bit more bearable...And I wish you and your daughter all the best and I hope the medicene helps your daughter have the best life she can have...I'm sure with your love and support that she'll go far.
Thank you again.

Great! Keep us posted here on how things go. I'll also keep you posted on my daughter's progress. We're on day two taking these vitamins. I know for sure that taking vitamins can't hurt you in your present condition - it can only help. Vitamins are natural things that are required by the body so as long as you don't go overboard with the dosages, you'll see the benefits.

Meds on the other hand, CAN be harmful as they are not natural and usually work against the body's natural defense mechanisms as they try to trick the body into doing things usually. Of course, not all meds are bad for you. If you have to take them, you have to take them. You just can't take them forever as your body eventually figures things out and becomes immune to the meds.

RD

O.K. I will keep you posted..But going on my history of neglect (from the doctors/Social Services) It will probably not be a nice thing to read and might get everyone feeling down after reading my updates..But I will if nobody minds?

That's ok because I'm expecting nothing but good news from here on out! If you speak those things as if they were, those things will come to pass - if you have faith and believe (paraphrasing from the Bible).

Of course most people don't realize that the opposite certainly happens all of the time. When you speak bad things, those things usually happen.

So EXPECT good things to happen as much as you can (I know this is not easy and it won't happen overnight but keep trying anyway)!

Dear Jamesalone,

I agree with alltheanswers. Follow the passion for Art. Whatever you do paint, draw, sculp, or write do it with all your heart. I feel really strong about this. Start now today this week, someone will come and be interested with your work and help you get it out there for the world to see. I have children with disabilities and I know with out a doubt that they have a plan.
So I believe you do too.

I was told last year that my son couldn't do what the others kids (learning the basics)were doing and it was more harmful to fail him so they would promote him to the 3rd grade even though he tested at the 1st grade level. They wanted him to be looked at for ADHD. They were compassionate but didn't believe. I know my sons are special and I believe in them.

I worked with my son over the summer and then moved him to a new school where he couldn't get distracted as much with the social issues like at recess. Then got some real help from God just by encouraging him and telling him he could do it and he is smart and I love him no matter what happens I just wanted him to be the best he could be. He started believing me and the Word of God. Now he is going into 4th grade at mid 3rd grade level. I am very pleased with how far he has come in one school year.

He has AS slightly and speech issues so he is in special education. I just want to encourage you. If your Mum and Dad didn't, I will.

I know you need healing from your past hurts. And you have to make that decision to forgive or not. All I can say Jesus loves you. And there are people who will love you the way you want and need. But you have to be out in the world to find it. Never give up on LOVE.

PS My other son is non verbal autisic.

Sincerely yours,
RosalieK