sickofme217
05-09-2004, 07:15 PM
i have insane phobias and an overly obsessive personality.
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it. im also scared of falling knives. i see them in my head sometimes and it scares me. when it actually does happen...which it seems to a lot...i scream at the top of my lungs and practically have to run and hide in a different room. i always feel like the world is out to get me and that im always running from death.
my obsessive personality also drives me crazy. my friends and family have all noticed it. i seem to have acquired it sometime over the last three years because i dont remember anything like it from before then. i have an obsession with billie joe armstrong of green day. its not just an infatuation or anything like that either...i mean its been going on for over a year now. i can honestly say that i love him. people never seem to take me seriously on it except for my mom and some of my closest friends. my friend once said that im scared of all the boys i know because im afraid they'll reject me if i like them so i like billie joe because i know he cant hurt me. i think that is a very good point. but i mean its really starting to get crazy. my room is covered in pictures of him and drawings ive done of him. i think about him all the time and sometimes really think that i know him. it sounds so stupid and im wary of talking about it with people because im embarassed by it.
sometimes i have to check things at least 5 times even though i know theyre right. i have a livejournal on the internet and directly after i post something i have to check it several times even though i know it's correct. i often annoy myself with it but i do it anyway.
sometimes i feel trapped inside my head. i am completely convinced that the mind has several different "levels" as i like to call them. you can talk to yourself on all of these but one of the last and most distant ones is always against you. if you start thinking something and tell yourself to stop thinking about it that one level keeps saying it. you seem to lose control over it. ive been trapped in my mind and actually not been able to speak while arguing with this level of my mind. it drives me insane.
does anybody else have problems like these?
and can someone please try to help me and actually take me seriously?
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it. im also scared of falling knives. i see them in my head sometimes and it scares me. when it actually does happen...which it seems to a lot...i scream at the top of my lungs and practically have to run and hide in a different room. i always feel like the world is out to get me and that im always running from death.
my obsessive personality also drives me crazy. my friends and family have all noticed it. i seem to have acquired it sometime over the last three years because i dont remember anything like it from before then. i have an obsession with billie joe armstrong of green day. its not just an infatuation or anything like that either...i mean its been going on for over a year now. i can honestly say that i love him. people never seem to take me seriously on it except for my mom and some of my closest friends. my friend once said that im scared of all the boys i know because im afraid they'll reject me if i like them so i like billie joe because i know he cant hurt me. i think that is a very good point. but i mean its really starting to get crazy. my room is covered in pictures of him and drawings ive done of him. i think about him all the time and sometimes really think that i know him. it sounds so stupid and im wary of talking about it with people because im embarassed by it.
sometimes i have to check things at least 5 times even though i know theyre right. i have a livejournal on the internet and directly after i post something i have to check it several times even though i know it's correct. i often annoy myself with it but i do it anyway.
sometimes i feel trapped inside my head. i am completely convinced that the mind has several different "levels" as i like to call them. you can talk to yourself on all of these but one of the last and most distant ones is always against you. if you start thinking something and tell yourself to stop thinking about it that one level keeps saying it. you seem to lose control over it. ive been trapped in my mind and actually not been able to speak while arguing with this level of my mind. it drives me insane.
does anybody else have problems like these?
and can someone please try to help me and actually take me seriously?
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panickyjess
05-09-2004, 08:58 PM
i can understand what you say about being afraid to go to hell...my biggest fear is the devil...i am always so scared that he is after me (not paranoia, just scared he might posses me one day)....it has been a fear of mine for years...but i have been on serzone and celexa for almost 4 years now and it helps the panic attacks that i get...have you been going to counseling or anything to help with your ocd?
jess
jess
sickofme217
05-10-2004, 07:33 AM
no because my parents dont really believe that i have a a problem...ive talked to them about it and they say that im just being weird and that there's nothing wrong with me. its so difficult
panickyjess
05-10-2004, 11:52 AM
maybe you should go see the counselor at your school and see what they have to say...but you are not crazy...just hang in there hun
jess
jess
sickofme217
05-10-2004, 03:52 PM
thanks for the help :)
iluvbilliejoe
07-28-2005, 04:14 PM
i have an obsession with billie joe too maybe worse than you i donno i think i love him too! i have posters and cds and i know all the songs plus i have like a whole biography in my head of billie! *sigh* i guess it's just a huge crush we both have it's normal i think my friend is the same way so it's ok
iluvbilliejoe
07-28-2005, 04:14 PM
i have an obsession with billie joe too maybe worse than you i donno i think i love him too! i have posters and cds and i know all the songs plus i have like a whole biography in my head of billie! *sigh* i guess it's just a huge crush we both have it's normal i think my friend is the same way so it's ok
kitkat77
07-28-2005, 04:56 PM
[QUOTE=sickofme217]i have insane phobias and an overly obsessive personality.
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it. im also scared of falling knives. i see them in my head sometimes and it scares me. when it actually does happen...which it seems to a lot...i scream at the top of my lungs and practically have to run and hide in a different room. i always feel like the world is out to get me and that im always running from death.
If I start to think about death and what might happen, I will work myself up into an attack. Nobody knows if there even IS a heaven or hell - there are many beliefs but no certainties. The only thing we know to be true is that there is NO running away from death. You will find out all the answers at THAT time and that time ONLY. Thinking about it now serves absolutely no purpose so if you find yourself even just STARTING to think about it, STOP.
The falling knives thing is your phobia and nobody knows why exactly we get them. Mine is flying insects - maybe it means I was beaten to death by their wings or smothered in a previous lifetime - whatever the case it doesn't really matter. Maybe you used to be a magicians' assistant? Your phobia itself is causing the anxiety that makes you clumsy enough to make it come true. Just like my anxiety causes me to act like a retard when something flies by, and that makes me the number one target to be stung.
i have an obsession with billie joe armstrong i can honestly say that i love him. .
You can't honestly say that you love HIM because you don't know HIM. You only know the persona that he is allowing you to see. You are in love with the persona - you could only be in love WITH HIM, if you personally know him. Don't buy into the fantasy. Your OCD likes this one and is taking it to the hilt.
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it. im also scared of falling knives. i see them in my head sometimes and it scares me. when it actually does happen...which it seems to a lot...i scream at the top of my lungs and practically have to run and hide in a different room. i always feel like the world is out to get me and that im always running from death.
If I start to think about death and what might happen, I will work myself up into an attack. Nobody knows if there even IS a heaven or hell - there are many beliefs but no certainties. The only thing we know to be true is that there is NO running away from death. You will find out all the answers at THAT time and that time ONLY. Thinking about it now serves absolutely no purpose so if you find yourself even just STARTING to think about it, STOP.
The falling knives thing is your phobia and nobody knows why exactly we get them. Mine is flying insects - maybe it means I was beaten to death by their wings or smothered in a previous lifetime - whatever the case it doesn't really matter. Maybe you used to be a magicians' assistant? Your phobia itself is causing the anxiety that makes you clumsy enough to make it come true. Just like my anxiety causes me to act like a retard when something flies by, and that makes me the number one target to be stung.
i have an obsession with billie joe armstrong i can honestly say that i love him. .
You can't honestly say that you love HIM because you don't know HIM. You only know the persona that he is allowing you to see. You are in love with the persona - you could only be in love WITH HIM, if you personally know him. Don't buy into the fantasy. Your OCD likes this one and is taking it to the hilt.
Blue102
07-28-2005, 08:43 PM
You sound kind of like me when I was in high school. I used to have an obsession with...a particular actor...ha, I won't even write his name because I'm freaked out that someone who knew me then will see this, and it will blow my anonymosity! (That's how bad it was.)
I also had an obsession with praying and going to hell and whatnot, and I also have a fear of knives as well (still). Wow, we're a lot alike.
Anyhow, you're not crazy. I can tell you that Prozac helped me a lot. Also, seriously, try to get in the habit of managing your anxiety. A lot of my issues had to do with the stress of high school. Exercise!!!!! It won't cure your anxiety, but it will really, really make you stronger and help you deal with things better. You won't believe it till you try it...it only takes a couple of weeks to feel a difference. Eat right and take care of yourself, and keep a journal. Take care of yourself. Eventually you'll be able to overcome some of your anxieties.
If it's really bad, talk to your doctor, but I really encourage self-help. I know...I've been there!
Good luck! (About the crush on Billie Joe...write him a letter and see if he responds...my man sent me an autographed photo! LOL)
I also had an obsession with praying and going to hell and whatnot, and I also have a fear of knives as well (still). Wow, we're a lot alike.
Anyhow, you're not crazy. I can tell you that Prozac helped me a lot. Also, seriously, try to get in the habit of managing your anxiety. A lot of my issues had to do with the stress of high school. Exercise!!!!! It won't cure your anxiety, but it will really, really make you stronger and help you deal with things better. You won't believe it till you try it...it only takes a couple of weeks to feel a difference. Eat right and take care of yourself, and keep a journal. Take care of yourself. Eventually you'll be able to overcome some of your anxieties.
If it's really bad, talk to your doctor, but I really encourage self-help. I know...I've been there!
Good luck! (About the crush on Billie Joe...write him a letter and see if he responds...my man sent me an autographed photo! LOL)
GatsbyLuvr1920
07-28-2005, 09:27 PM
I can empathize. Most teen girls are "obsessed" with a certain celebrity, but I'm like you- if I like something or someone, I can't stop thinking about it, and the only way to stop the thoughts is to watch the movie or TV show. For awhile, I was obsessed with roller coasters back when my OCD was its worst. That's all that I wanted to talk about and I knew everything. Then, (and now) it was "I Love Lucy." I'm the biggest fan you'll ever meet and I know every miniscule piece of trivia down to the list of occupations Lucy and Ethel turned down before picking candy maker in the classic episode, Job Switching, number 39. (PBX Operator, book keeper, and dental hygienist, just to name a few... ;)) Now, it's Leo DiCaprio and "The Aviator." He's my celeb crush and I can spend hours on the Internet finding new pictures. :D It's really a sickness. I believe it's my OCD because, as I've said, when I first like something whether it's a celebrity, book, song, or movie/TV show, all I can think of is the words said on the TV/movie and the lyrics to the song. It just repeats over and over. Also, I'll search until I find every facet of information- I do this mainly for psychiatric disorders after I started researching OCD, and it's really funny because my obsessive searching is about obsessiveness! :rolleyes:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
TakeThatOCD
08-03-2005, 09:11 PM
Yes, I suffer from religous obsessions and I am all to familiar with praying and being afraid of going to hell. My brain has come up with the most bizzare "doom and gloom" scenarios about the devil that you can think of. I too am afraid of the devil and that he will somehow get me and drag me to hell because of these thoughts. I know that this is completely irrational. What I am doing now is some exposure therapy. I am taking it slowly so I can't really comment at this time on how effective or not it will be because I just started.
Thief_In_Aid
08-04-2005, 10:37 PM
i have insane phobias and an overly obsessive personality.
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it.
Well, I was in a similar situation as you are in with the whole hell thing. But then I came up with a different senario in my mind that makes hell seem alright, well, not really, but you'll understand here in a few. I do not worry about hell as I worry about 'Nothing'. Thats right, when I fall asleep at night, I rarely remeber any dreams or anything when I sleep, and then I wondered, what if sleeping is like death? What if, when you die, that's it, 'Nothing', no thoughts, no going to heaven, no going to hell, which is similar to when I go to sleep and wake up and remember nothing from when I was sleeping. Then I thought, if I sleep 8hours a day, or 1/3 of the day sleeping, then by the time I am 60, if I live that long, then I will have slept for 20 YEARS, and that's almost like 20years of being dead, because that is 20 years I have no idea about. I don't know if anyone else has thought about death as I have, and no, I wouldn't want to go to hell than to nothing happen to me, but luckily it doesn't bother me from day to day like it use too, I have to many bills and payments these days to worry about death, lol, sad huh?!
im horrified of going to hell. im constantly thinking that i will be after i die and i am terrified. i pray constantly in my mind thinking "oh my god i just did that...im so going to hell" and i scare myself all of the time. im constantly twitchy and nervous and panicky over it.
Well, I was in a similar situation as you are in with the whole hell thing. But then I came up with a different senario in my mind that makes hell seem alright, well, not really, but you'll understand here in a few. I do not worry about hell as I worry about 'Nothing'. Thats right, when I fall asleep at night, I rarely remeber any dreams or anything when I sleep, and then I wondered, what if sleeping is like death? What if, when you die, that's it, 'Nothing', no thoughts, no going to heaven, no going to hell, which is similar to when I go to sleep and wake up and remember nothing from when I was sleeping. Then I thought, if I sleep 8hours a day, or 1/3 of the day sleeping, then by the time I am 60, if I live that long, then I will have slept for 20 YEARS, and that's almost like 20years of being dead, because that is 20 years I have no idea about. I don't know if anyone else has thought about death as I have, and no, I wouldn't want to go to hell than to nothing happen to me, but luckily it doesn't bother me from day to day like it use too, I have to many bills and payments these days to worry about death, lol, sad huh?!