brainchild
05-10-2004, 06:53 PM
Hiya!
Sorry this is soo long! :o
I have posted on here b4 about the same thing and i got some replies which reassured me but now my problem is worse again!!
have this totally ridiculous ( i hope?!?!) fear of being stabbed with a hiv infected needle! i used to worry about it a bit but now it is all the time!! if i used to g out with strappy shoes on n i got my foot cut, i would instantly think it was a needle, not broken glass.
i dont know if anyone else gets these, like every now and again i will get a short sharp twinge of pain anywhere in my body. it doesnt hurt too much at all, n i used to think nothing o it but now i will be worrying, wot if i was a needle? i especially think this if there peole around, for example shopping or even worse, in a nightclub! i will spend the rest of the nite worrying that some1s stabbed me!! or if a needle hs been plnted somewhere in the furniture or on the floor or where ever!! i went out last tuesday nite and we ended up going to his club 2 meet my uni friends. when we wlked in it was soo crowded i started to panick thinking ohh no im going to have to get close to ppl, they could do anything! but i tried to enjoy it, needless to say every slight thing i felt against myself i was thinking if it was a needle!! (this must sound ridiculous) i usually check myself in places where i think i my have been stabbed, but sometimes, i feel it on the skin on my head, and then i cant see cos my hair is in the way. so the next day after i had been out i as panicking thinking, i mite have been stabbed in my head n i wont know it, n i have kinda fixated on this one thing. now i am worrying cos i didnt check my legs n arms n back n stuff 4 wounds. but i am mostly worried about my head cos i wouldnt b abl to see anything there. n im thinking wot if i didnt notice some1 stabbing me cos i hd drunk n so it wud hurt less. this is y i hate crowded spaces!! i keep convincing myself that i am going to get hiv from some1 stabbing me, in fact i seem to think i have been stabbedmay times, like ppl r out to get me or something. kinda arrogant in a way isnt it? now i dont like touching the back of my head much in case its "infected" it sounds so stupid i wanna laugh but i feel like crying too!! its so crap!! i jst finished my degree and i wanna be relaxing!! it doesnt help that i have developed a really sore throat and a head cold. its just "convincing" me more im right to be worried!!
im really sorry again bout the length of the post, its just really hard to explain! anyone who wnts to know any reason into me i will be very grateful!! unless this type of thing really does happen, then i'll stay on the lookout!! thanx!!
Laur
Sorry this is soo long! :o
I have posted on here b4 about the same thing and i got some replies which reassured me but now my problem is worse again!!
have this totally ridiculous ( i hope?!?!) fear of being stabbed with a hiv infected needle! i used to worry about it a bit but now it is all the time!! if i used to g out with strappy shoes on n i got my foot cut, i would instantly think it was a needle, not broken glass.
i dont know if anyone else gets these, like every now and again i will get a short sharp twinge of pain anywhere in my body. it doesnt hurt too much at all, n i used to think nothing o it but now i will be worrying, wot if i was a needle? i especially think this if there peole around, for example shopping or even worse, in a nightclub! i will spend the rest of the nite worrying that some1s stabbed me!! or if a needle hs been plnted somewhere in the furniture or on the floor or where ever!! i went out last tuesday nite and we ended up going to his club 2 meet my uni friends. when we wlked in it was soo crowded i started to panick thinking ohh no im going to have to get close to ppl, they could do anything! but i tried to enjoy it, needless to say every slight thing i felt against myself i was thinking if it was a needle!! (this must sound ridiculous) i usually check myself in places where i think i my have been stabbed, but sometimes, i feel it on the skin on my head, and then i cant see cos my hair is in the way. so the next day after i had been out i as panicking thinking, i mite have been stabbed in my head n i wont know it, n i have kinda fixated on this one thing. now i am worrying cos i didnt check my legs n arms n back n stuff 4 wounds. but i am mostly worried about my head cos i wouldnt b abl to see anything there. n im thinking wot if i didnt notice some1 stabbing me cos i hd drunk n so it wud hurt less. this is y i hate crowded spaces!! i keep convincing myself that i am going to get hiv from some1 stabbing me, in fact i seem to think i have been stabbedmay times, like ppl r out to get me or something. kinda arrogant in a way isnt it? now i dont like touching the back of my head much in case its "infected" it sounds so stupid i wanna laugh but i feel like crying too!! its so crap!! i jst finished my degree and i wanna be relaxing!! it doesnt help that i have developed a really sore throat and a head cold. its just "convincing" me more im right to be worried!!
im really sorry again bout the length of the post, its just really hard to explain! anyone who wnts to know any reason into me i will be very grateful!! unless this type of thing really does happen, then i'll stay on the lookout!! thanx!!
Laur
Sponsor
brainchild
05-10-2004, 08:31 PM
Hey! thax 4 ur reply!!
Yeah, i know that if i didnt have this "thing" i wouldnt even give it a second thought, as my friends dont!! i seem to think they r fine,even tho they were in the same place as me!! like as if pl know my fear n r specifically out 4 me or something!! i dont concsiously think that but its kind of my way of thinking.
this stems from when i was about 16-17 a lot of people were telling stories about people stabbing people with needles in nightclubs etc and them becoming infected so im thinking well if t happens maybe it happens all the time but ppl dont realise it!! and a year and a half ago i went to a uni party in this club and when i got out i noticed my foot was bleeding. when i washed the blood away there were 2 tiny dots which i was convinced were from a needle, despite the fact that i was standing near smashed glass. it didnt look like a glass cut tho cos it was two tiny little dots. this event also still worries me a lot from time to time, as do events from say 4 years ago, i am still convinced i ud of caught something off broken glass then!! see, i was quite worried about it then but now, its everytime i go out of the house!! i try to avoid contact with people and objects, incase they have a needle!!
i think it wud make it better if i knew that if someone is stabbed by a needle they would KNOW about it cos then at least id b able to see that im not bleeding etc and therefore havent been stabbed. its the maybe, i dont know factor that sends me off worrying!!
im sure ppl will read this thread and think oh shes being totally irrational and ridiculous, as if that happens, and it makes sense to them, like i read othr ppls about their problems n i think oh they r worrying 4 nothing! but when its ur own problem it seems so serious and so worrying!!
my bf thinks its funny and im being stupid but he doesnt realie wot goes on in my head!!
anyway, im rambling on again!! sorry 4 the looooong reply!! and thanx 4 ur help!! :)
laur
Yeah, i know that if i didnt have this "thing" i wouldnt even give it a second thought, as my friends dont!! i seem to think they r fine,even tho they were in the same place as me!! like as if pl know my fear n r specifically out 4 me or something!! i dont concsiously think that but its kind of my way of thinking.
this stems from when i was about 16-17 a lot of people were telling stories about people stabbing people with needles in nightclubs etc and them becoming infected so im thinking well if t happens maybe it happens all the time but ppl dont realise it!! and a year and a half ago i went to a uni party in this club and when i got out i noticed my foot was bleeding. when i washed the blood away there were 2 tiny dots which i was convinced were from a needle, despite the fact that i was standing near smashed glass. it didnt look like a glass cut tho cos it was two tiny little dots. this event also still worries me a lot from time to time, as do events from say 4 years ago, i am still convinced i ud of caught something off broken glass then!! see, i was quite worried about it then but now, its everytime i go out of the house!! i try to avoid contact with people and objects, incase they have a needle!!
i think it wud make it better if i knew that if someone is stabbed by a needle they would KNOW about it cos then at least id b able to see that im not bleeding etc and therefore havent been stabbed. its the maybe, i dont know factor that sends me off worrying!!
im sure ppl will read this thread and think oh shes being totally irrational and ridiculous, as if that happens, and it makes sense to them, like i read othr ppls about their problems n i think oh they r worrying 4 nothing! but when its ur own problem it seems so serious and so worrying!!
my bf thinks its funny and im being stupid but he doesnt realie wot goes on in my head!!
anyway, im rambling on again!! sorry 4 the looooong reply!! and thanx 4 ur help!! :)
laur
brainchild
05-10-2004, 08:53 PM
btw i read ur post and i totally understand what u mean!! i associate certain clothes with certain things, for instance if i was wearing something when i have had a possible needle situation. but i have found that wearing themmaks u forget that. but sometimes i have worn things and no felt "clean". for instance, because i was worried about a needle being poked into my head last week :-s all my hair towels have become "contaminated" after a use!! its not germs or anything!! its as if wearing that item of clothing or whatever makes the event that ur worrying about more "real" or something!! but i wont throw my clothes away!! i feel sorry 4 things when i dont use them!! oh dear!! my head is totally messed up at the moment!!
im sure this must all stem back to when i was very young, about 4, my friends used to tell me all sorts of horrible things cos i was gullible and fell for it!! they used to tell me things like i had leukemia and was going to die and they wud gve me a drink and after i drunk it told me it was poison and that i wud die after an hour!! nice friends hmm!!
im sure this must all stem back to when i was very young, about 4, my friends used to tell me all sorts of horrible things cos i was gullible and fell for it!! they used to tell me things like i had leukemia and was going to die and they wud gve me a drink and after i drunk it told me it was poison and that i wud die after an hour!! nice friends hmm!!
brainchild
05-13-2004, 09:07 AM
I have just been to see the nurse at the walk in centre cos i have a really sore throat n thought it was tonsillitis, but she said it wasnt, she said it was a viral infection and now i am worried!! my sore throat developed 4-5 days after this nite out and ow i am worried it is cos my immune system mite b down cos i am fighting off other infection!! arrghhhh!! do u think its likely that i cud of been stabbed with an infected needle?! or do u think i have totally lost my mind? :(
hayley0610
05-13-2004, 11:30 AM
i have kind of the same thing but now mine is being out and someone has put something in my drink. when im at a bar if i think i may have keft my drink for 1 sec i wont drink it now its getting bad because im thinking someone may have put something in the ice its being made with!! thats just silly but i wont drink it i figure id rather have my health and waste 4$!!! this of course happened because of a bad experience, my hubby got something put in his drink one night and was vey high!! i feel that although these things we fear are very unlickely to happen, they can still happebn right!?!?!?!i mean thses things happen everyday and they have to happen to someone so wouldnt i think i could be the next someone!!
brainchild
05-13-2004, 03:55 PM
Thanx 4 ur replies guys!! i used to b like that with touching blood and i wud imagine everything was blood but im less bad with that now, altho if i did touch blood i wud still wash my hands as soon as possible!!
and the thing with drinks, its a similar thing isnt it? to other people it seems totally ridiculous that someone wud drug ice or go around with needles but to us it seems totally believable!! as long as we know deep down we r being silly i suppose it helps us reassure ourselves, its the fact that that little doubting feeling comes back that makes us worry!!
and i also totally agree when u say that it seems like ur brain can only fit in so many obsessions!! there r always a few in ur head and usually one major big worry which totally takes over!! but it always changes to different things!! at the moment as im writing this i feel reassured that maybe my worries are unfounded and i am being totally ridiculous but then the old worries start to creep back in!!
but my friends were out with me and they r not worrying that it happened to them!! they r getting on with their lives!! maybe it wud help if i knew the little twinge feelings were normal and what caused them it wud help!! i always get them but never used to think anything of them!! now im like ooh what was that??!!
anyway, thanx again 4 the advice :) xxxx
and the thing with drinks, its a similar thing isnt it? to other people it seems totally ridiculous that someone wud drug ice or go around with needles but to us it seems totally believable!! as long as we know deep down we r being silly i suppose it helps us reassure ourselves, its the fact that that little doubting feeling comes back that makes us worry!!
and i also totally agree when u say that it seems like ur brain can only fit in so many obsessions!! there r always a few in ur head and usually one major big worry which totally takes over!! but it always changes to different things!! at the moment as im writing this i feel reassured that maybe my worries are unfounded and i am being totally ridiculous but then the old worries start to creep back in!!
but my friends were out with me and they r not worrying that it happened to them!! they r getting on with their lives!! maybe it wud help if i knew the little twinge feelings were normal and what caused them it wud help!! i always get them but never used to think anything of them!! now im like ooh what was that??!!
anyway, thanx again 4 the advice :) xxxx
sodepressed
05-13-2004, 07:33 PM
I'm so happy to see someone else with a similar problem (well not happy). My fear is that I could have been infected at the dentist. I know it is totally ridiculous but this consumes my every waking thought. I don't know how to get passed this. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Julie
Thanks,
Julie
brainchild
05-13-2004, 08:54 PM
infected with hiv or something else? what made u first worry about this? dentists sterilise all of their tools by washing and with heat and even before they put them in your mouth they keep them in that pink liquid stuff to keep them sterile, well they do at my dentist anyway. and also, many of them wear rubber gloves now. i worry about going to the dentist too but only cos im scared of having to have a filling or have teeth taken out cos im a big wimp!! but i dont worry at all that it is dangerous. i think the only way any1 cud POSSIBLY be at risk from going the dentist wud be if they had a bleeding mouth and the dentist put tools straight from some1 elses bleeding mouth into theirs, RIGHT AWAY. but that just DOESNT happen cos he wud have to be working on two ppl at once and it wud b unlikely that the person wud b infected. also i dont think dentists r allowed to practice if they have hiv r they? like surgeons arent allowed either i dont think. i hope this helps?
xx
xx
cujo25
05-17-2004, 04:19 AM
Hey, no worries, I went through the EXACT same thing. I still have it sometimes but not nearly as bad, I used to be a big hypocondriac and very hyper sensitive. I developed all these things after I started getting panic attacks one summer from a bad drug experience that scared me. I always thought I had major illnesses and list of other things, I was always paranoid. I am also a DJ and everytime I was in a club I was ALWAYS thinking that someone was poking me with a needle, or that maybe I was leaning on a needle if I felt something weird. I remember times where once I got into light I would check for puncture wounds etc.... totally know what you are going through. I remember one time some kid was squirting his friends with a squirt gun in a club, instantly panic came over me and I thought horrible things, I absolutely could not let it go and finally tracked him down in the club to find out what it was, and he smiled and said "sorry bout that dude, its just a water gun with water". Like I had suspected but I couldnt let it go, this will pass, its just one of many parts of OCD.
I havent had this in a looooong time although last week I was at a strip club with some friends and the girl on stage was near us and her shoe bumped my arm, I felt something sharp right away and instantly thought NEEDLE! I couldnt resist, I had to ask my friend if he thought that was possible, even though I knew it was rediculous. Passed by the time I went to sleep though and didnt think about it again. And just another example of how crazy OCD is I was at this strip club enjoying myself liek I always have while carrying the "scared of becoming homosexual" OCD thoughts with me :)
I havent had this in a looooong time although last week I was at a strip club with some friends and the girl on stage was near us and her shoe bumped my arm, I felt something sharp right away and instantly thought NEEDLE! I couldnt resist, I had to ask my friend if he thought that was possible, even though I knew it was rediculous. Passed by the time I went to sleep though and didnt think about it again. And just another example of how crazy OCD is I was at this strip club enjoying myself liek I always have while carrying the "scared of becoming homosexual" OCD thoughts with me :)
brainchild
05-17-2004, 06:27 AM
Wow! That is EXACTLY the same as me!! the slightest thing that i feel either by leaning against or people brushing past me, even if no1 is near me i will CONSTANTLY think what if its a needle!! ALL NIGHT!! and then i will eamine myself for any wounds or marks too!! Even if there is no bleeding or anything I will still be worried!! its crazy!! sometimes i have taken myself off t the toilets just to examine myself!! and i am constantly looking around me at the floor n stuff n where i have just walked if i felf the slightest thing!! my friends must think im crazy!! i also used to go through the phase of thinking i had loads of horrible diseases, especially cancer! i rememeber whn i was 13 i was convinced i had cancer cos i had a TINY lump in my ear where they had been pierced and i sat in my room for hours on end crying cos i was convinced i was going to die!! i think hiv is more scary to fixate on and worry about tho because you cant tell if you have it and its uncurable so i think thats y it scares so many of us paranoid ppl!!
i just hope that like you i get over it soon!
You have reassured me loads now though now I know that there are other people with exactly the same thing and who have moved on past it!!
Thanx for ur replies!! xxxx :)
i just hope that like you i get over it soon!
You have reassured me loads now though now I know that there are other people with exactly the same thing and who have moved on past it!!
Thanx for ur replies!! xxxx :)