ontheway
05-13-2004, 11:14 PM
Hey It's me again
I was doing really good, Now I'm slipping It's totally frustrating to me.
It's like I'm getting more intrusive thoughts then some old thoughts my mind finally stopped obsessing on are trying to come back. I'm just fed up I'm so sick of living my life like this because it just makes me so freaking mad I have to deal with silly crap inside my head and I fall for all the tricks OCD feeds me I read something of others and it trigger the old thoughts. I went to therapy and I felt so good when i came out like I can beat this. But somehow my mind covers up and trys to ruin what I'm told. It's a never ending battle over & over & over again I have come along way from where I use to be thank God seriously but im falling for lies inside my head giving in the this obsessing seems like almost everything I do OCD puts itself in the middle causing me problems distress I'm just very tired and I don't think I want to go thru this again if my mind is going to give me more crap then it usually does I don't know what most likly have a breakdown because im so tired angry and really don't have time for this crap in my life yet it is my life but its really not it's MY life , I can't even control my own thinking, that truly sucks so bad I feel scared and worried sometimes for what ? nothing is going on but in my mind it is and im scared that is one of the worst feelings. the only time I feel Good is when my boyfriend is here I feel safe and not has bad even tho i have a hard time and im sure for him its not easy dealing with this part of me.. I would like to be normal because then I'd be truly turly happy maybe happiness is just playing hide & go seek with me i find it for a moment and it runs ooff again and then i have to go looking for it all over again .I get these thoughts that i should not wear this take them off and put something eles on because of this so i make a promise to God im going to wear the clothes all day so that way i can wear what i want and not have to take them off then if i choose too i cannt because i made the promise to God i would wear them the whole day and i would like to be normal where i did not feel i have to make promises all the time thanks for listening I just wanted to write this I hope yall are having a very nice day God bless always
I was doing really good, Now I'm slipping It's totally frustrating to me.
It's like I'm getting more intrusive thoughts then some old thoughts my mind finally stopped obsessing on are trying to come back. I'm just fed up I'm so sick of living my life like this because it just makes me so freaking mad I have to deal with silly crap inside my head and I fall for all the tricks OCD feeds me I read something of others and it trigger the old thoughts. I went to therapy and I felt so good when i came out like I can beat this. But somehow my mind covers up and trys to ruin what I'm told. It's a never ending battle over & over & over again I have come along way from where I use to be thank God seriously but im falling for lies inside my head giving in the this obsessing seems like almost everything I do OCD puts itself in the middle causing me problems distress I'm just very tired and I don't think I want to go thru this again if my mind is going to give me more crap then it usually does I don't know what most likly have a breakdown because im so tired angry and really don't have time for this crap in my life yet it is my life but its really not it's MY life , I can't even control my own thinking, that truly sucks so bad I feel scared and worried sometimes for what ? nothing is going on but in my mind it is and im scared that is one of the worst feelings. the only time I feel Good is when my boyfriend is here I feel safe and not has bad even tho i have a hard time and im sure for him its not easy dealing with this part of me.. I would like to be normal because then I'd be truly turly happy maybe happiness is just playing hide & go seek with me i find it for a moment and it runs ooff again and then i have to go looking for it all over again .I get these thoughts that i should not wear this take them off and put something eles on because of this so i make a promise to God im going to wear the clothes all day so that way i can wear what i want and not have to take them off then if i choose too i cannt because i made the promise to God i would wear them the whole day and i would like to be normal where i did not feel i have to make promises all the time thanks for listening I just wanted to write this I hope yall are having a very nice day God bless always
Sponsor
why_did_you
05-14-2004, 08:15 AM
awww, I'm sorry you feel like you're slipping- I'd advise you to see a therapist to put a stop to it before it gets that bad.
I can relate to going backwards. It's awful; it leaves you with so much negitivity because you don't know what to do anymore. At least I feel that way.
((hugs)) Best of luck. Hang in there. xxx :)
I can relate to going backwards. It's awful; it leaves you with so much negitivity because you don't know what to do anymore. At least I feel that way.
((hugs)) Best of luck. Hang in there. xxx :)
Lucieanna
05-14-2004, 06:26 PM
I know the slipping feeling, not sure if I have OCD or not but that slipping back into it feeling is terrible. I work so hard with myself to feel fine, but al of a sudden its 'oh, its back again' and I just think what is the point in this? Im not getting anywhere with myself
ontheway
05-14-2004, 09:44 PM
Thank you both for replying to me
Why did you, Thanks for the hugs (( hugs to you ))
I don't get ti see my therapist often because she does not take my insurance I have to do private pay which limites ne to once every month.. I dont want to slip and I know I am and I cant seem to get that good of a control on it. I feel it too I feel like this can get bad if I let it and how am I going to stop this ? then I try to remember what my therapist said and the thoughts try and sometimes ruin that for me also its never ending It's like my own roller coster that i ride and sometimes I go up and thats where I want to stay but then all of the sudden im taken back down sometimes i stay down for a while before i can get it to go up I want to feel like I'm the one in control but I don;t feel that way I feel like my mind runs me and It does I hate the feelings of something is worng when I'm trying to have fun or just not doing anything I feel like I cant do right when it comes to this i try and pray has one of my compulsions and i cant even pray in peace and I really can't deal with this anymore It feels so bad to be so scared all the time I just dont want to deal with this anymore because its taken way to much from me and I dont have the energy to keep going thru this i just dont the only time I feel little normal and ok is when my boyfriend is here and even the thoughts try and mess that up and i feel safe with him i feel ok and when he is not here Its harder it seems I feel like I'm going to have to keep dealing with this for a very very long time and I'm not looking foward to it. I wake up to a new day same problems alot of the times to a slap in the face by OCD oh look your wake now time to torture with bad thoughts and feelings until you go to sleep and then u will wake up to me again and its like ooh gee im looking foward to this day i just sometimes want the days to go by so fast so i can go to sleep and then it be Sunday where my boyfriend comes over and that day to go by very slow this really just hurts so bad and i get all kinds of thoughts from sexual to the gay thoughts to the religion ( religion being the most ) to wanting to hurt myself etc its just been my own personal hell for many years and i was finally seeing more of the light and then it feels like its turning gray again and soon will be black if i dont stop it. but the problem is how ? when I dont feel I have that control and when the thoughts feel stronger then me I hate this i was ok when i was young and now im not ok and seems like it will always be this way I cant even live a normal life..and im fed up and just feel like crap miserable sometimes and this is the hardest fight in my whole life and its been going on for so long seems like when i get riid of a bad thought another new bad thought comes in and i deal with that for year or many months or however long it decides and its never ending i fall for the tricks OCD gives me my all the time and its very frustrating when my own mind works against me I don't know when the day will come where i'm not a prisonner of my own mind and i have freedom from OCD i guess i have to fight and fight and fight no other choice this is my life
Lucieanna, I can understand where u are coming from seems like all we do is fight for it to just slip back out of our control its not fair but if we dont fight these thoughts we will always be beat down from them and never rise above I hope you will feel better because I know its not easy going thru this but I think we are all strong inside for dealing with what we go thru please hang in there best u can (( hugs )) I hope you are having a blessed day God bless
Why did you.. Thanks again for responding I hope your having a blessed day and doing good God bless ya
Why did you, Thanks for the hugs (( hugs to you ))
I don't get ti see my therapist often because she does not take my insurance I have to do private pay which limites ne to once every month.. I dont want to slip and I know I am and I cant seem to get that good of a control on it. I feel it too I feel like this can get bad if I let it and how am I going to stop this ? then I try to remember what my therapist said and the thoughts try and sometimes ruin that for me also its never ending It's like my own roller coster that i ride and sometimes I go up and thats where I want to stay but then all of the sudden im taken back down sometimes i stay down for a while before i can get it to go up I want to feel like I'm the one in control but I don;t feel that way I feel like my mind runs me and It does I hate the feelings of something is worng when I'm trying to have fun or just not doing anything I feel like I cant do right when it comes to this i try and pray has one of my compulsions and i cant even pray in peace and I really can't deal with this anymore It feels so bad to be so scared all the time I just dont want to deal with this anymore because its taken way to much from me and I dont have the energy to keep going thru this i just dont the only time I feel little normal and ok is when my boyfriend is here and even the thoughts try and mess that up and i feel safe with him i feel ok and when he is not here Its harder it seems I feel like I'm going to have to keep dealing with this for a very very long time and I'm not looking foward to it. I wake up to a new day same problems alot of the times to a slap in the face by OCD oh look your wake now time to torture with bad thoughts and feelings until you go to sleep and then u will wake up to me again and its like ooh gee im looking foward to this day i just sometimes want the days to go by so fast so i can go to sleep and then it be Sunday where my boyfriend comes over and that day to go by very slow this really just hurts so bad and i get all kinds of thoughts from sexual to the gay thoughts to the religion ( religion being the most ) to wanting to hurt myself etc its just been my own personal hell for many years and i was finally seeing more of the light and then it feels like its turning gray again and soon will be black if i dont stop it. but the problem is how ? when I dont feel I have that control and when the thoughts feel stronger then me I hate this i was ok when i was young and now im not ok and seems like it will always be this way I cant even live a normal life..and im fed up and just feel like crap miserable sometimes and this is the hardest fight in my whole life and its been going on for so long seems like when i get riid of a bad thought another new bad thought comes in and i deal with that for year or many months or however long it decides and its never ending i fall for the tricks OCD gives me my all the time and its very frustrating when my own mind works against me I don't know when the day will come where i'm not a prisonner of my own mind and i have freedom from OCD i guess i have to fight and fight and fight no other choice this is my life
Lucieanna, I can understand where u are coming from seems like all we do is fight for it to just slip back out of our control its not fair but if we dont fight these thoughts we will always be beat down from them and never rise above I hope you will feel better because I know its not easy going thru this but I think we are all strong inside for dealing with what we go thru please hang in there best u can (( hugs )) I hope you are having a blessed day God bless
Why did you.. Thanks again for responding I hope your having a blessed day and doing good God bless ya
LOANOFFICER
05-15-2004, 04:12 PM
Hi, Just wanted to give you a hug over the computer if that's possible. I have had this OCD crap since I was 10 and I am 46. It wasn't bad when I was younger. I have been on medication since 1987. For the most part it was Prozac. Are you on any medication? I did the therapy stuff along time ago and that did not help me. OCD is like diabetes of the brain. Theres days when you actually feel somewhat normal and then the next 3 days can be crap again. You have to remember it is OCD and not you. Your brain is stuck in a rut now. I have also found getting out of the house and doing something to keep me from thinking helps too. Call a friend, read a book, anything where you don't have to think much. Believe me, I have gone through everything already. Long time ago, I was a checker, counter, washer you name it. Now lately I have had the mental compulsions, like what song did I hear in the office when I was doing this, or said that. I am going through a medicine change and slowly getting back to a stable safe feeling. HANG IN THERE
ontheway
05-21-2004, 10:51 PM
Hi, Just wanted to give you a hug over the computer if that's possible. I have had this OCD crap since I was 10 and I am 46. It wasn't bad when I was younger. I have been on medication since 1987. For the most part it was Prozac. Are you on any medication? I did the therapy stuff along time ago and that did not help me. OCD is like diabetes of the brain. Theres days when you actually feel somewhat normal and then the next 3 days can be crap again. You have to remember it is OCD and not you. Your brain is stuck in a rut now. I have also found getting out of the house and doing something to keep me from thinking helps too. Call a friend, read a book, anything where you don't have to think much. Believe me, I have gone through everything already. Long time ago, I was a checker, counter, washer you name it. Now lately I have had the mental compulsions, like what song did I hear in the office when I was doing this, or said that. I am going through a medicine change and slowly getting back to a stable safe feeling. HANG IN THERE
Hey, thanks for the Hugs, (( hugs back to you ))
My therapy works but then OCDfeels stronger at times and i let it take back over its so hard to get this under control im not sure when the day i will be able to move past this because it seems like i have good moments maybe good days or bad days and i never know if i will be bale to continue a good day if i have one because even if im having a good day i get an distrubing intrusive thought that takes my mood right back down to 0 i really hate having to deal with all these bad thoughts inside my mind and the compulsions i want to be free,Thats great that your getting on medicine that will help i hope you will feel better and feel stable i would love to feel stable and safe myself I'm on medicine i gain so much weight from it so i stopped the night medicine and i continue the rest my doc dont know what he is doing anyways he dont listen to well thanks again for replying to me and the hugs God bless ya
Hey, thanks for the Hugs, (( hugs back to you ))
My therapy works but then OCDfeels stronger at times and i let it take back over its so hard to get this under control im not sure when the day i will be able to move past this because it seems like i have good moments maybe good days or bad days and i never know if i will be bale to continue a good day if i have one because even if im having a good day i get an distrubing intrusive thought that takes my mood right back down to 0 i really hate having to deal with all these bad thoughts inside my mind and the compulsions i want to be free,Thats great that your getting on medicine that will help i hope you will feel better and feel stable i would love to feel stable and safe myself I'm on medicine i gain so much weight from it so i stopped the night medicine and i continue the rest my doc dont know what he is doing anyways he dont listen to well thanks again for replying to me and the hugs God bless ya
why_did_you
05-23-2004, 11:18 AM
Hi,
awww, it's a shame you're only seeing her once a month but at least you ARE seeing her. When you next see her you could ask for some advise on how to deal with it on your own when you're not seeing her- apparently there are a lot of a good self-help books out there which may help you, or at least help to give you a more positive outlook on this.
I don't think anyone wants to slip, but I've been told (though I don't find this that comforting) that sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards. I guess you can at least find comfort in knowing that you WERE better.
I don't know though. I don't find it that comforting myself because it's just in the past- WERE. It's not like you are now. But you've just got to keep trying. If you don't keep trying then you never will be better. Just hang in there and keep fighting it in anyway you can.
Although the therapist is only going to be once a month, could you not sek counselling if it's free? Or another service? Are there the groups you can join- just try to do all you can if possible. The books I would definately recomend you try though. Anything is worth a go, right? ;)
I know the feeling where your mind runs you; it's not a pleasent one but you've got to try to remember that this is why you are getting help- so you can once again be in control.
Life is always going to be a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. I guess this is no different. But if you're down now, soon you've got to go up.
awww hunni. ((hugs)). I know how it feels to be so exhausted by it, to just not want to try anymore. I feel that exactly. It's good that your boyfriend makes you feel a little okay- I can have that sometimes with my friends, but I do know what you mean when even the 'thought's try to mess that up for you.
Don't look forward to the battle. Try to look forward to actually beating it- to freedom and to getting better.
Ask your therapist about meds if possible? They could help give you a small lift that you might need- even if they're not strong. Something could be better than nothing and just help you that little bit.
I can again relate to waking up and thinking it's just going to be another day of hell, although for me it's in my dreams as well so I don't really get away from it. It's like you just want a REST. Just some time WITHOUT IT. I don't know what advise to offer on that- just keep going and look forward to seeing your boyfriend .Make sure you seem him regulary so that you have something to look forward to.
Could you confide in your boyfriend about this? Does he know anything?
It sounds like it really has gone on for a long time and this time you just want help. Ask your therapist for a plan of action- something to do. How is she going to help you?
I don't know how either. There's all sorts of therapies- CBT, etc. They have helped many. For me, my therapists don't know because they don't know what is wrong. I don't fit in to any specific catergory so they just don't know. It's not even necessarily OCD but I post on here as I can relate to some things.
You are strong hunni. Whenever you get a bad thought, fight it and if you get another one you can fight that too. You can do this. It IS probably the hardest fight of your life, but you will make it. You've made it once before, haven't you? I know it doesn't feel like it makes a lot of difference now as you're in this situation but you HAVE done it.
You won't be fighting forever hun. You honestly won't. I'd once again recomend that you buy some of those books- ask people on here for some good titles that have helped them. I really hope they help you.
Thankyou aswell to you. I hope you've had a better day. I hope some of this helps.
((hugs)). Take care xXx
awww, it's a shame you're only seeing her once a month but at least you ARE seeing her. When you next see her you could ask for some advise on how to deal with it on your own when you're not seeing her- apparently there are a lot of a good self-help books out there which may help you, or at least help to give you a more positive outlook on this.
I don't think anyone wants to slip, but I've been told (though I don't find this that comforting) that sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards. I guess you can at least find comfort in knowing that you WERE better.
I don't know though. I don't find it that comforting myself because it's just in the past- WERE. It's not like you are now. But you've just got to keep trying. If you don't keep trying then you never will be better. Just hang in there and keep fighting it in anyway you can.
Although the therapist is only going to be once a month, could you not sek counselling if it's free? Or another service? Are there the groups you can join- just try to do all you can if possible. The books I would definately recomend you try though. Anything is worth a go, right? ;)
I know the feeling where your mind runs you; it's not a pleasent one but you've got to try to remember that this is why you are getting help- so you can once again be in control.
Life is always going to be a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. I guess this is no different. But if you're down now, soon you've got to go up.
awww hunni. ((hugs)). I know how it feels to be so exhausted by it, to just not want to try anymore. I feel that exactly. It's good that your boyfriend makes you feel a little okay- I can have that sometimes with my friends, but I do know what you mean when even the 'thought's try to mess that up for you.
Don't look forward to the battle. Try to look forward to actually beating it- to freedom and to getting better.
Ask your therapist about meds if possible? They could help give you a small lift that you might need- even if they're not strong. Something could be better than nothing and just help you that little bit.
I can again relate to waking up and thinking it's just going to be another day of hell, although for me it's in my dreams as well so I don't really get away from it. It's like you just want a REST. Just some time WITHOUT IT. I don't know what advise to offer on that- just keep going and look forward to seeing your boyfriend .Make sure you seem him regulary so that you have something to look forward to.
Could you confide in your boyfriend about this? Does he know anything?
It sounds like it really has gone on for a long time and this time you just want help. Ask your therapist for a plan of action- something to do. How is she going to help you?
I don't know how either. There's all sorts of therapies- CBT, etc. They have helped many. For me, my therapists don't know because they don't know what is wrong. I don't fit in to any specific catergory so they just don't know. It's not even necessarily OCD but I post on here as I can relate to some things.
You are strong hunni. Whenever you get a bad thought, fight it and if you get another one you can fight that too. You can do this. It IS probably the hardest fight of your life, but you will make it. You've made it once before, haven't you? I know it doesn't feel like it makes a lot of difference now as you're in this situation but you HAVE done it.
You won't be fighting forever hun. You honestly won't. I'd once again recomend that you buy some of those books- ask people on here for some good titles that have helped them. I really hope they help you.
Thankyou aswell to you. I hope you've had a better day. I hope some of this helps.
((hugs)). Take care xXx
LOANOFFICER
05-23-2004, 11:57 AM
Good Morning, I hope this finds you feeling better. I just read your reply back to me. Boy, I know how you feel. I was just there a few weeks ago and it was ugly. The medicine (Zoloft) made it hard for me to just get through the day. Every hour was a chore and I couldn't wait to go to bed and just sleep and hopefully the next day would be better. It wasn't. My head even hurt. I make decisions in my job that I needed to be more together. That's when I got on the phone and told my Dr. (a great psychiatrist) to put me back on Prozac. I told him you are going to see me in 5 days and I am not going to make it through the weekend. He won't usually do the medicine renewal without seeing you. I have been seeing him for years and he knew just by my voice that I wasn't feeling good. To sum it up, a Dr. is an important key as well as the meds. I am feeling much better and I have been back on Prozac for abit over 2 weeks now. OCD is a forever battle. To have it be in remission for awhile is a victory. A book that I read that helped me was "Brain Lock" by Jeff Schwartz. That really puts it into perspective. It is NOT us but our brains! HANG IN THERE
flossie22
05-24-2004, 10:06 AM
hey, i totally know how you feel. i am having one of those days myself. u just feel so discouraged and like noone understands. i am sorry that you are going through this, but we are all here for support.
ontheway
05-26-2004, 04:25 PM
hey, i totally know how you feel. i am having one of those days myself. u just feel so discouraged and like noone understands. i am sorry that you are going through this, but we are all here for support.
Hey Flossie
Thanks for your reply, I have my bad days and then my ok days. today is an ok day but then again its only 12:26 am so i have a whilw to go hopefully i can maintain a positive day How are you feeling today ? please let me know take care of ya God bless u always (( hugs ))
Hey Flossie
Thanks for your reply, I have my bad days and then my ok days. today is an ok day but then again its only 12:26 am so i have a whilw to go hopefully i can maintain a positive day How are you feeling today ? please let me know take care of ya God bless u always (( hugs ))
ontheway
05-26-2004, 05:05 PM
Hi,
awww, it's a shame you're only seeing her once a month but at least you ARE seeing her. When you next see her you could ask for some advise on how to deal with it on your own when you're not seeing her- apparently there are a lot of a good self-help books out there which may help you, or at least help to give you a more positive outlook on this.
I don't think anyone wants to slip, but I've been told (though I don't find this that comforting) that sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards. I guess you can at least find comfort in knowing that you WERE better.
I don't know though. I don't find it that comforting myself because it's just in the past- WERE. It's not like you are now. But you've just got to keep trying. If you don't keep trying then you never will be better. Just hang in there and keep fighting it in anyway you can.
Although the therapist is only going to be once a month, could you not sek counselling if it's free? Or another service? Are there the groups you can join- just try to do all you can if possible. The books I would definately recomend you try though. Anything is worth a go, right? ;)
I know the feeling where your mind runs you; it's not a pleasent one but you've got to try to remember that this is why you are getting help- so you can once again be in control.
Life is always going to be a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. I guess this is no different. But if you're down now, soon you've got to go up.
awww hunni. ((hugs)). I know how it feels to be so exhausted by it, to just not want to try anymore. I feel that exactly. It's good that your boyfriend makes you feel a little okay- I can have that sometimes with my friends, but I do know what you mean when even the 'thought's try to mess that up for you.
Don't look forward to the battle. Try to look forward to actually beating it- to freedom and to getting better.
Ask your therapist about meds if possible? They could help give you a small lift that you might need- even if they're not strong. Something could be better than nothing and just help you that little bit.
I can again relate to waking up and thinking it's just going to be another day of hell, although for me it's in my dreams as well so I don't really get away from it. It's like you just want a REST. Just some time WITHOUT IT. I don't know what advise to offer on that- just keep going and look forward to seeing your boyfriend .Make sure you seem him regulary so that you have something to look forward to.
Could you confide in your boyfriend about this? Does he know anything?
It sounds like it really has gone on for a long time and this time you just want help. Ask your therapist for a plan of action- something to do. How is she going to help you?
I don't know how either. There's all sorts of therapies- CBT, etc. They have helped many. For me, my therapists don't know because they don't know what is wrong. I don't fit in to any specific catergory so they just don't know. It's not even necessarily OCD but I post on here as I can relate to some things.
You are strong hunni. Whenever you get a bad thought, fight it and if you get another one you can fight that too. You can do this. It IS probably the hardest fight of your life, but you will make it. You've made it once before, haven't you? I know it doesn't feel like it makes a lot of difference now as you're in this situation but you HAVE done it.
You won't be fighting forever hun. You honestly won't. I'd once again recomend that you buy some of those books- ask people on here for some good titles that have helped them. I really hope they help you.
Thankyou aswell to you. I hope you've had a better day. I hope some of this helps.
((hugs)). Take care xXx
Hey why did you
How are you doing today ? I hope its a blessed day for you, thanks so much for responding to me. It does stink that i can only see her once a month she is very helpful when i see her i come out thinking i can beat this but then later the thoughts are stronger then me it feels like and they take over I dont know if i would like to go to a group of people that deal with problems because sometimes when i hear something it can trigger things in my mind and bring back olld thoughts or i start obsessing on new thoughts and its so frustrating to deal with these thoughts I think i need to do what my therapist tells me but I dont know why i dont do it when i should its so hard sometimes to do what she says because the thoughts make me feel bad my boyfriend ( FroBoyPeaceGuy ) he is good to me , he is helpful he listens to me ans gives me advise but he cares and supports me and thats what i need it just feels like this is always an on going battle i can see mylself getting better one day just dont know when that day will be here because my mind seems like its so against me and i hate that but today is an ok day but i still have the rest of the day to go thru, thanks again for responding you are cool (( hugs ))
awww, it's a shame you're only seeing her once a month but at least you ARE seeing her. When you next see her you could ask for some advise on how to deal with it on your own when you're not seeing her- apparently there are a lot of a good self-help books out there which may help you, or at least help to give you a more positive outlook on this.
I don't think anyone wants to slip, but I've been told (though I don't find this that comforting) that sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards. I guess you can at least find comfort in knowing that you WERE better.
I don't know though. I don't find it that comforting myself because it's just in the past- WERE. It's not like you are now. But you've just got to keep trying. If you don't keep trying then you never will be better. Just hang in there and keep fighting it in anyway you can.
Although the therapist is only going to be once a month, could you not sek counselling if it's free? Or another service? Are there the groups you can join- just try to do all you can if possible. The books I would definately recomend you try though. Anything is worth a go, right? ;)
I know the feeling where your mind runs you; it's not a pleasent one but you've got to try to remember that this is why you are getting help- so you can once again be in control.
Life is always going to be a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. I guess this is no different. But if you're down now, soon you've got to go up.
awww hunni. ((hugs)). I know how it feels to be so exhausted by it, to just not want to try anymore. I feel that exactly. It's good that your boyfriend makes you feel a little okay- I can have that sometimes with my friends, but I do know what you mean when even the 'thought's try to mess that up for you.
Don't look forward to the battle. Try to look forward to actually beating it- to freedom and to getting better.
Ask your therapist about meds if possible? They could help give you a small lift that you might need- even if they're not strong. Something could be better than nothing and just help you that little bit.
I can again relate to waking up and thinking it's just going to be another day of hell, although for me it's in my dreams as well so I don't really get away from it. It's like you just want a REST. Just some time WITHOUT IT. I don't know what advise to offer on that- just keep going and look forward to seeing your boyfriend .Make sure you seem him regulary so that you have something to look forward to.
Could you confide in your boyfriend about this? Does he know anything?
It sounds like it really has gone on for a long time and this time you just want help. Ask your therapist for a plan of action- something to do. How is she going to help you?
I don't know how either. There's all sorts of therapies- CBT, etc. They have helped many. For me, my therapists don't know because they don't know what is wrong. I don't fit in to any specific catergory so they just don't know. It's not even necessarily OCD but I post on here as I can relate to some things.
You are strong hunni. Whenever you get a bad thought, fight it and if you get another one you can fight that too. You can do this. It IS probably the hardest fight of your life, but you will make it. You've made it once before, haven't you? I know it doesn't feel like it makes a lot of difference now as you're in this situation but you HAVE done it.
You won't be fighting forever hun. You honestly won't. I'd once again recomend that you buy some of those books- ask people on here for some good titles that have helped them. I really hope they help you.
Thankyou aswell to you. I hope you've had a better day. I hope some of this helps.
((hugs)). Take care xXx
Hey why did you
How are you doing today ? I hope its a blessed day for you, thanks so much for responding to me. It does stink that i can only see her once a month she is very helpful when i see her i come out thinking i can beat this but then later the thoughts are stronger then me it feels like and they take over I dont know if i would like to go to a group of people that deal with problems because sometimes when i hear something it can trigger things in my mind and bring back olld thoughts or i start obsessing on new thoughts and its so frustrating to deal with these thoughts I think i need to do what my therapist tells me but I dont know why i dont do it when i should its so hard sometimes to do what she says because the thoughts make me feel bad my boyfriend ( FroBoyPeaceGuy ) he is good to me , he is helpful he listens to me ans gives me advise but he cares and supports me and thats what i need it just feels like this is always an on going battle i can see mylself getting better one day just dont know when that day will be here because my mind seems like its so against me and i hate that but today is an ok day but i still have the rest of the day to go thru, thanks again for responding you are cool (( hugs ))
ontheway
05-26-2004, 05:11 PM
Good Morning, I hope this finds you feeling better. I just read your reply back to me. Boy, I know how you feel. I was just there a few weeks ago and it was ugly. The medicine (Zoloft) made it hard for me to just get through the day. Every hour was a chore and I couldn't wait to go to bed and just sleep and hopefully the next day would be better. It wasn't. My head even hurt. I make decisions in my job that I needed to be more together. That's when I got on the phone and told my Dr. (a great psychiatrist) to put me back on Prozac. I told him you are going to see me in 5 days and I am not going to make it through the weekend. He won't usually do the medicine renewal without seeing you. I have been seeing him for years and he knew just by my voice that I wasn't feeling good. To sum it up, a Dr. is an important key as well as the meds. I am feeling much better and I have been back on Prozac for abit over 2 weeks now. OCD is a forever battle. To have it be in remission for awhile is a victory. A book that I read that helped me was "Brain Lock" by Jeff Schwartz. That really puts it into perspective. It is NOT us but our brains! HANG IN THERE
Hey there
Thanks for replying to me, Thats Great that your feeling better its very good to have a DR that listens to you also, my Doc dont know what he is talking about, he does not listen, and thinks he knows everything, im going to get a new doc thank God im on zolof i take 3 pills a d ay and there are 100mg i think my medicine seems to help a little bit but not to the point i would like i would really like to see my therapist once every week but i cant OCD seems like it is going to be a forever battle i have this thought in my mind that im going to one day be free f rom this and be " normal " dont know if that will ever be true or not nice thought though I just have a gard time everyday deakling with stupid thoughts OCd is in the middle of almost everything i do its so frustrating i hate it thanks again for responding to me, I hope your having a good day take care Good bless ya always (( hugs )) :cool:
Hey there
Thanks for replying to me, Thats Great that your feeling better its very good to have a DR that listens to you also, my Doc dont know what he is talking about, he does not listen, and thinks he knows everything, im going to get a new doc thank God im on zolof i take 3 pills a d ay and there are 100mg i think my medicine seems to help a little bit but not to the point i would like i would really like to see my therapist once every week but i cant OCD seems like it is going to be a forever battle i have this thought in my mind that im going to one day be free f rom this and be " normal " dont know if that will ever be true or not nice thought though I just have a gard time everyday deakling with stupid thoughts OCd is in the middle of almost everything i do its so frustrating i hate it thanks again for responding to me, I hope your having a good day take care Good bless ya always (( hugs )) :cool:
why_did_you
05-27-2004, 02:19 PM
Hi hunny,
Hmmm you don't want to know for me. Today was make it or break it day really and I broke it.
No problem on responding to you though hun. ((hugs)) hang in there. I really wish you all the best. Going backwards is horrible especially when you feel like you don't have control over it.
I'm glad your therapist helps even though you don't see her that often. Do you think you could buy a book to give you that lift in between visits? Thats the best suggestion I have, I think appart from trying to see someone who is free.
I think you should also explain what you've explained to me to your therapists, about why you find it hard to follow her advice. Maybe you could ask her to write it down and give it to you in little steps so you could maybe tick them off? I don't know what they are; I guess it depends on that.
Ask her also about the groups- get her opinion.
It's fantastic that you can see yourself getting better one day, it really is a huge achievement .Thats half the battle. Also its wonderful you have such a caring boyfriend. Do you talk to other friends at all?
You will make it hun. Hang in there and take care. xXx :)
Hmmm you don't want to know for me. Today was make it or break it day really and I broke it.
No problem on responding to you though hun. ((hugs)) hang in there. I really wish you all the best. Going backwards is horrible especially when you feel like you don't have control over it.
I'm glad your therapist helps even though you don't see her that often. Do you think you could buy a book to give you that lift in between visits? Thats the best suggestion I have, I think appart from trying to see someone who is free.
I think you should also explain what you've explained to me to your therapists, about why you find it hard to follow her advice. Maybe you could ask her to write it down and give it to you in little steps so you could maybe tick them off? I don't know what they are; I guess it depends on that.
Ask her also about the groups- get her opinion.
It's fantastic that you can see yourself getting better one day, it really is a huge achievement .Thats half the battle. Also its wonderful you have such a caring boyfriend. Do you talk to other friends at all?
You will make it hun. Hang in there and take care. xXx :)
ontheway
05-28-2004, 11:33 PM
Hi hunny,
Hmmm you don't want to know for me. Today was make it or break it day really and I broke it.
No problem on responding to you though hun. ((hugs)) hang in there. I really wish you all the best. Going backwards is horrible especially when you feel like you don't have control over it.
I'm glad your therapist helps even though you don't see her that often. Do you think you could buy a book to give you that lift in between visits? Thats the best suggestion I have, I think appart from trying to see someone who is free.
I think you should also explain what you've explained to me to your therapists, about why you find it hard to follow her advice. Maybe you could ask her to write it down and give it to you in little steps so you could maybe tick them off? I don't know what they are; I guess it depends on that.
Ask her also about the groups- get her opinion.
It's fantastic that you can see yourself getting better one day, it really is a huge achievement .Thats half the battle. Also its wonderful you have such a caring boyfriend. Do you talk to other friends at all?
You will make it hun. Hang in there and take care. xXx :)
Hey why did you.. Are you ok ? you can talk to me if you need to I hope today is a better day for you. I could buy some books to help me, I have this one book and it has things u can do in it to over come i think its called the OCD workbook not sure though.
I can't do that on my own because its so hard. I think I do need to be open to my therapist on why its hard to follow her advise, I woulld really like too be able to do it but the thoughts are strong sometimes and i give in and do my rituals.
I don't have any friends i can talk with, the one friend that I had was very negative and rude and she just did me wrong i still have so much anger inside about her. My boyfriend is very understanding and is there for me I know i drive him crazy sometimes but its hard to be " normal " when i have all these confusing thoughts running around in my head.
I was having a nice day today but I feel my mood slowly changing because I have this i guess i would call it new although its probably not new its an obsession that makes me feel im doing wrong to my boyfriend. It's so weird how OCD can attach itself to your life and quikly take control of it.
I mean I get rid of something the new symptoms come in its always on going and im so sick of it. thanks for listening [ removed ] I hope today was a better day for you take care God bless ya always (( hugs ))
Hmmm you don't want to know for me. Today was make it or break it day really and I broke it.
No problem on responding to you though hun. ((hugs)) hang in there. I really wish you all the best. Going backwards is horrible especially when you feel like you don't have control over it.
I'm glad your therapist helps even though you don't see her that often. Do you think you could buy a book to give you that lift in between visits? Thats the best suggestion I have, I think appart from trying to see someone who is free.
I think you should also explain what you've explained to me to your therapists, about why you find it hard to follow her advice. Maybe you could ask her to write it down and give it to you in little steps so you could maybe tick them off? I don't know what they are; I guess it depends on that.
Ask her also about the groups- get her opinion.
It's fantastic that you can see yourself getting better one day, it really is a huge achievement .Thats half the battle. Also its wonderful you have such a caring boyfriend. Do you talk to other friends at all?
You will make it hun. Hang in there and take care. xXx :)
Hey why did you.. Are you ok ? you can talk to me if you need to I hope today is a better day for you. I could buy some books to help me, I have this one book and it has things u can do in it to over come i think its called the OCD workbook not sure though.
I can't do that on my own because its so hard. I think I do need to be open to my therapist on why its hard to follow her advise, I woulld really like too be able to do it but the thoughts are strong sometimes and i give in and do my rituals.
I don't have any friends i can talk with, the one friend that I had was very negative and rude and she just did me wrong i still have so much anger inside about her. My boyfriend is very understanding and is there for me I know i drive him crazy sometimes but its hard to be " normal " when i have all these confusing thoughts running around in my head.
I was having a nice day today but I feel my mood slowly changing because I have this i guess i would call it new although its probably not new its an obsession that makes me feel im doing wrong to my boyfriend. It's so weird how OCD can attach itself to your life and quikly take control of it.
I mean I get rid of something the new symptoms come in its always on going and im so sick of it. thanks for listening [ removed ] I hope today was a better day for you take care God bless ya always (( hugs ))
why_did_you
05-30-2004, 11:32 AM
Hi,
[ removed ]
I hope your day is better today.
Take care,
xXx
[ removed ]
I hope your day is better today.
Take care,
xXx
ontheway
06-03-2004, 12:55 AM
[ removed ] I hope u had/having a nice day take care God bless always