monkeygirl777
05-15-2004, 06:14 AM
my marriage is in jeopardy if i do not lose weight. please help. i am 5'6 and 180 and i need to lose 50 pounds as quickly as possible. willing to do anything.
Sponsor
CobaltBlue
05-15-2004, 10:23 AM
my marriage is in jeopardy if i do not lose weight. please help. i am 5'6 and 180 and i need to lose 50 pounds as quickly as possible. willing to do anything.
Monkeygirl, I will tell you how I dropped weight; however, I am concerned that your marriage is in jeopardy if you don't? You should be losing weight because you want to lose it for yourself, not to please someone else--that's doing it for all the wrong reasons.
OK, let me hop back off the soapbox... I dropped my 80 lbs by watching my calories, cutting out the refined, processed, sugared junk foods that have permeated so much of our society's diet. My breakfast: 1 cup (measured!) of all bran extra fiber, and 0.5 cups unsweetened soy milk (measured again!). Lunch, typically, 1/3 bag of mixed greens (various lettuce) 1-2 oz each of carrots, onions, cucumbers, sprouts, any other veggies that you want to include. Now the critical point--the dressing. I use either a low cal 50 cal or less per 2 tbsp dressing and use 4 tbsps on it (Yes, measured again! :) ) Otherwise, I grab the balsamic vinegar and lather the salad with 2 tbps of that, for 10 cal or less of dressing. That will hold me over until dinner. At dinner, I eat tuna, salmon or tofu. It's easier to use a fish because of the high protein to low fat ratio. You need to make sure you meet the protein needs. On the side of this fish...either another salad, or steamed veggies, such as broccoli, cauliflower, etc. Fill up on all those and you will be taking in nutrients and minimizing your calories.
Diet alone is not enough. The more exercise you do, the more calories you burn and the more weight you lose. So, I run 3 miles in the morning whether I am trying to lose weight or not. I up my caloric intake to hold steady. To drop weight fast, like I am doing again now, I run an additional 3 miles in the evening OR just run 6 miles in the morning. To this, I supplement walking when I can. For example, I do a 2.6 mile 40 min walk on weekdays before or after lunch at work. Each afternoon after dinner, I take a 1 hr walk (4 miles). All that time away from the house/office serves two purposes. You burn calories and you aren't tempted to sit there and eat. I do drink at least 84 oz of water daily with this regimen.
Hopefully this answers your question. I know it's not some easy success formula, but this is how I took myself from obese to a comfortable BMI of 23, and in turn solved all of my health problems. There is no safe way that I know of to drop weight any quicker, nor a way to keep it off for the long run other than changing your lifestyle and staying committed to that change forever.
Finally, I should add two disclaimers. First, please don't starve yourself. Make sure you get enough calories to provide the nutrients you need to exercise and keep yourself hydrated. Second, please don't go out tonight and try to run 6 miles if you don't already do that kind of exercise--it might do more damage than good. Start off walking a few minutes, or however much you can handle comfortably now. You don't want to risk any injuries from overexertion. Also, you probably want the right kind of shoes if you take the walking/running route. Work up into your exercise routine wisely. I spent 3 months walking before I ever ran (partly had to do with losing enough weight to make it safe to run). Once I ran, I started with 1 min intervals, then 2 min, then 5 etc. up to the level I do now.
Good Luck! ;)
Monkeygirl, I will tell you how I dropped weight; however, I am concerned that your marriage is in jeopardy if you don't? You should be losing weight because you want to lose it for yourself, not to please someone else--that's doing it for all the wrong reasons.
OK, let me hop back off the soapbox... I dropped my 80 lbs by watching my calories, cutting out the refined, processed, sugared junk foods that have permeated so much of our society's diet. My breakfast: 1 cup (measured!) of all bran extra fiber, and 0.5 cups unsweetened soy milk (measured again!). Lunch, typically, 1/3 bag of mixed greens (various lettuce) 1-2 oz each of carrots, onions, cucumbers, sprouts, any other veggies that you want to include. Now the critical point--the dressing. I use either a low cal 50 cal or less per 2 tbsp dressing and use 4 tbsps on it (Yes, measured again! :) ) Otherwise, I grab the balsamic vinegar and lather the salad with 2 tbps of that, for 10 cal or less of dressing. That will hold me over until dinner. At dinner, I eat tuna, salmon or tofu. It's easier to use a fish because of the high protein to low fat ratio. You need to make sure you meet the protein needs. On the side of this fish...either another salad, or steamed veggies, such as broccoli, cauliflower, etc. Fill up on all those and you will be taking in nutrients and minimizing your calories.
Diet alone is not enough. The more exercise you do, the more calories you burn and the more weight you lose. So, I run 3 miles in the morning whether I am trying to lose weight or not. I up my caloric intake to hold steady. To drop weight fast, like I am doing again now, I run an additional 3 miles in the evening OR just run 6 miles in the morning. To this, I supplement walking when I can. For example, I do a 2.6 mile 40 min walk on weekdays before or after lunch at work. Each afternoon after dinner, I take a 1 hr walk (4 miles). All that time away from the house/office serves two purposes. You burn calories and you aren't tempted to sit there and eat. I do drink at least 84 oz of water daily with this regimen.
Hopefully this answers your question. I know it's not some easy success formula, but this is how I took myself from obese to a comfortable BMI of 23, and in turn solved all of my health problems. There is no safe way that I know of to drop weight any quicker, nor a way to keep it off for the long run other than changing your lifestyle and staying committed to that change forever.
Finally, I should add two disclaimers. First, please don't starve yourself. Make sure you get enough calories to provide the nutrients you need to exercise and keep yourself hydrated. Second, please don't go out tonight and try to run 6 miles if you don't already do that kind of exercise--it might do more damage than good. Start off walking a few minutes, or however much you can handle comfortably now. You don't want to risk any injuries from overexertion. Also, you probably want the right kind of shoes if you take the walking/running route. Work up into your exercise routine wisely. I spent 3 months walking before I ever ran (partly had to do with losing enough weight to make it safe to run). Once I ran, I started with 1 min intervals, then 2 min, then 5 etc. up to the level I do now.
Good Luck! ;)
Crossbow
05-15-2004, 11:57 AM
Well, since ubernier has vacated the soap box, I'll get on it.
If your weight can jeapordize your marriage, then your marriage has WAY bigger problems than your weight. See a marriage counselor before it's too late.
And BTW, I'm 5'6" and weigh 175, and I still bet plenty of attention from men. So yes, it's above the healthy weight (at 5'6" the healthy weight range is 120-150) but it's not that darn bad.
If your weight can jeapordize your marriage, then your marriage has WAY bigger problems than your weight. See a marriage counselor before it's too late.
And BTW, I'm 5'6" and weigh 175, and I still bet plenty of attention from men. So yes, it's above the healthy weight (at 5'6" the healthy weight range is 120-150) but it's not that darn bad.
Salinas1
05-15-2004, 02:16 PM
If your weight can jeapordize your marriage, then your marriage has WAY bigger problems than your weight. See a marriage counselor before it's too late.
And BTW, I'm 5'6" and weigh 175, and I still bet plenty of attention from men. So yes, it's above the healthy weight (at 5'6" the healthy weight range is 120-150) but it's not that darn bad.
I happen to be one of those that do not see obesity as an unreasonable basis for a barrier in a relationship. I don't necessarily think all people, though they may that genuinely love their partner, would still feel attracted to them if they added 50 lbs. This does not seem a superficial concept to me.
Just a question. If healthy is 135, then 175 is an additional 40 lbs over healthy. How many more pounds would be required to qualify as "darn bad"?
And BTW, I'm 5'6" and weigh 175, and I still bet plenty of attention from men. So yes, it's above the healthy weight (at 5'6" the healthy weight range is 120-150) but it's not that darn bad.
I happen to be one of those that do not see obesity as an unreasonable basis for a barrier in a relationship. I don't necessarily think all people, though they may that genuinely love their partner, would still feel attracted to them if they added 50 lbs. This does not seem a superficial concept to me.
Just a question. If healthy is 135, then 175 is an additional 40 lbs over healthy. How many more pounds would be required to qualify as "darn bad"?
Laurie2
05-15-2004, 06:07 PM
I am also 5'6"/largeboned and 178 right now. After over a year of dieting and taking a college women's strength class, am now wearing clothes sizes when I was 165, 33 years ago before marriage. I had lost 62lbs of bodyfat overall doing this. However, because of my lifting regimen, I know I have gained some muscle mass. Muscle is denser than bodyfat. A tangerine size portion of muscle weighs about the same as two grapefruit size portions of bodyfat. So in this case, being 178 or 175 on the scales is not "darn bad" at all.
I still have a stomach to lose.....but it is a heck of a lot smaller than when I first started out.
The problem with charts is they do not take in account this kind of bodyfat to muscle exchange. So any of the competitors in the Strong Woman contests would be considered very overweight for their heights.
But as pointed out, a good diet and plenty of exercise. Time and patience will help do this. However, if it is a matter of "lose it or else".....something is seriously wrong with the relationship. If this is a matter of "reverse psychology" of using threats to get you to lose the weight.....it will only go so far. It might be your husband feels is the only way to get you do something about your weight. Maybe deep down he is not being malignant but a form of "tough love".
My husband used to get me so angry to get me out of rut. Of course, I would use this same method on him for the same reasons. Two can play this game. He learned this from his mother when she needed to goad his father to help her build any new animal pens or help her in the yard when building anything. His father was a mechanic/welder and would come home to plop down in front of the TV. My husband is a historical blacksmith and although generally pretty industrious....sometimes he needs to be reminded about other things too if all other courses do not work. Learned this trick from my mother in law too.
But the best motivation is doing this for yourself and the best supporter should be your husband. I just got sick and tired of being flexible, being out of sorts and seeing all the snowbirds hobbling around with age related injuries/ailments from not taking care of themselves. I was beginning to feel the way they looked and at 50 (then)/postmenopausal....did not want to go through the rest of my life like that. I am 52, feel far better than I had in years. Glad I took this journey.
My husband likes the changes and what I have done. So he found an Olympic style bench w/barbell/plates during my first semester so I could continue exercising after all the classes were over. Told me I should have done this over 20 years ago......well, I answered back..."I am doing it now". That shut him up.
Now, trying to get him to use the weights is something else....he just cannot wrap his mind around doing it yet. Hammering out swordblades on the anvil next to a hot forgefire is a good exercise but he needs to drop just a bit more. He is a type II diabetic and until he had a "wakeup call" 10 years ago, he thought losing weight changing from his heavy "meat and potatoes" to "rabbit food" was impossible for him. He soon learned he had to do just that to drop from 300 to 235 to control it.
But you cannot take a horse to a trough and expect to drink if it doesnt want to.
How long? (which would be the next question). Once you start, do not use the scales as this can be very frustrating. The body gains and loses a pound or two a day for a variety of reasons. Better still, use your wardrobe as an indicator of progress. Takes awhile for the body to reshape itself and in the meantime, you will be losing inches....making your wardrobe looser. Dont expect immediate pounds lost but then it depends on your diet and exercise. At 245, I lost 28lbs in three months lifting moderately heavy weights three days a week for 90 minutes a session and modifying what diet I did have. Upping the poundages as I reached doing 4 sets of 10 reps easily. Some of this was water weight and alot was bodyfat too. But not everyone loses at the same rate and it seems the heavier you are the faster it can go. You have to work harder at losing when getting closer to your goal. Went through some plateaus too and had to rework my diet and/or change my routine to work through them.
However, the best motivation for losing is for yourself afterall.
I still have a stomach to lose.....but it is a heck of a lot smaller than when I first started out.
The problem with charts is they do not take in account this kind of bodyfat to muscle exchange. So any of the competitors in the Strong Woman contests would be considered very overweight for their heights.
But as pointed out, a good diet and plenty of exercise. Time and patience will help do this. However, if it is a matter of "lose it or else".....something is seriously wrong with the relationship. If this is a matter of "reverse psychology" of using threats to get you to lose the weight.....it will only go so far. It might be your husband feels is the only way to get you do something about your weight. Maybe deep down he is not being malignant but a form of "tough love".
My husband used to get me so angry to get me out of rut. Of course, I would use this same method on him for the same reasons. Two can play this game. He learned this from his mother when she needed to goad his father to help her build any new animal pens or help her in the yard when building anything. His father was a mechanic/welder and would come home to plop down in front of the TV. My husband is a historical blacksmith and although generally pretty industrious....sometimes he needs to be reminded about other things too if all other courses do not work. Learned this trick from my mother in law too.
But the best motivation is doing this for yourself and the best supporter should be your husband. I just got sick and tired of being flexible, being out of sorts and seeing all the snowbirds hobbling around with age related injuries/ailments from not taking care of themselves. I was beginning to feel the way they looked and at 50 (then)/postmenopausal....did not want to go through the rest of my life like that. I am 52, feel far better than I had in years. Glad I took this journey.
My husband likes the changes and what I have done. So he found an Olympic style bench w/barbell/plates during my first semester so I could continue exercising after all the classes were over. Told me I should have done this over 20 years ago......well, I answered back..."I am doing it now". That shut him up.
Now, trying to get him to use the weights is something else....he just cannot wrap his mind around doing it yet. Hammering out swordblades on the anvil next to a hot forgefire is a good exercise but he needs to drop just a bit more. He is a type II diabetic and until he had a "wakeup call" 10 years ago, he thought losing weight changing from his heavy "meat and potatoes" to "rabbit food" was impossible for him. He soon learned he had to do just that to drop from 300 to 235 to control it.
But you cannot take a horse to a trough and expect to drink if it doesnt want to.
How long? (which would be the next question). Once you start, do not use the scales as this can be very frustrating. The body gains and loses a pound or two a day for a variety of reasons. Better still, use your wardrobe as an indicator of progress. Takes awhile for the body to reshape itself and in the meantime, you will be losing inches....making your wardrobe looser. Dont expect immediate pounds lost but then it depends on your diet and exercise. At 245, I lost 28lbs in three months lifting moderately heavy weights three days a week for 90 minutes a session and modifying what diet I did have. Upping the poundages as I reached doing 4 sets of 10 reps easily. Some of this was water weight and alot was bodyfat too. But not everyone loses at the same rate and it seems the heavier you are the faster it can go. You have to work harder at losing when getting closer to your goal. Went through some plateaus too and had to rework my diet and/or change my routine to work through them.
However, the best motivation for losing is for yourself afterall.
Crossbow
05-16-2004, 10:25 AM
I happen to be one of those that do not see obesity as an unreasonable basis for a barrier in a relationship. I don't necessarily think all people, though they may that genuinely love their partner, would still feel attracted to them if they added 50 lbs. This does not seem a superficial concept to me.
Just a question. If healthy is 135, then 175 is an additional 40 lbs over healthy. How many more pounds would be required to qualify as "darn bad"?
Obesity, maybe, but she's not obese, and neither am I.
And I said up to 150 is healthy. 175 is 25 pounds over healthy. It doesn't fall into the "obese" range.
Your DOCTOR is the only person qualified to judge whether you are obese, morbidly obese, or just over the healthy weight range, so I'm not even going to address what would qualify as "darn bad."
Just a question. If healthy is 135, then 175 is an additional 40 lbs over healthy. How many more pounds would be required to qualify as "darn bad"?
Obesity, maybe, but she's not obese, and neither am I.
And I said up to 150 is healthy. 175 is 25 pounds over healthy. It doesn't fall into the "obese" range.
Your DOCTOR is the only person qualified to judge whether you are obese, morbidly obese, or just over the healthy weight range, so I'm not even going to address what would qualify as "darn bad."
lady_grey
05-25-2004, 12:16 PM
I agree. A doctor is the only one who can tell you if you are healthy. I know several people who would be overweight some maybe even obese but get regular exercise and eat healthy most of the time. Then I know people who eat junk food all day and do not exercise but are skinny as rails. I think that it is better to be a little overweight letting yourself enjoy some of the junk food but focusing more on the healthy food. You just feel better when you wake up in the morning. As for losing weight, I think that the trick is to focus on healthy food most of the time but as I said, not to give up entirely on the junk food that you enjoy. Remember, nutrition is a lifestyle, not a diet.
Summer33
05-26-2004, 12:43 AM
Ubernier that does not sound like a healthy diet whatsoever. 800 calories a day and 6 miles of running is not healthy at all. Monkeygirl you should not turn to such an extreme way of living to loose the weight you want to loose. Just lower your calories, eat alot of vegetables, fruits and protein and excercise regularly but don't go to such extreme measures, it will just result in more problems for you.
CobaltBlue
05-26-2004, 08:02 AM
Ubernier that does not sound like a healthy diet whatsoever. 800 calories a day and 6 miles of running is not healthy at all.
Sorry Summer33,
I didn't mean to set off the alarms and I am quite healthy :) Thanks for the concern. ;) If that is what stuck out, then the key points of my message were lost. The key points were exercise and eat healthy, of which the latter is not comprised of ice cream, cake, potato chips, soft drinks, prime rib, bacon, bratwurst, hot dogs, etc. A good portion of the people that I see never attain their goals is because they don't know the proper foods to eat to help them get there. Some of this may be a motivation, but I am shocked to hear how many honestly don't know. Makes me feel that perhaps a Diet & Nutrition class should be mandatory in public school. Another point I should have made is that for anyone that is interested in losing weight, there is nothing preventing them from reading/buying/checking out from the library texts on the subject matter. Heck, right now I am reading the McArdle, Katch & Katch text on Exercise Physiology each evening--then again, I am a non-fiction reader primarily.
I left off the amounts and calories in my latter meals of the day, and perhaps the rice/wheat bread. (2 snacks (fruit typically + dinner). I am taking in between 1900 and 2200 cals/day when dropping weight, and 2200-2700 when maintaining. I left out how I maintain because it was irrelevant to the initial question.
Again, I apologize for leaving some stuff out, including amounts. I structure my meals such that I eat about 250 cal for breakfast, 200 cal snack, 200 cal lunch, 200 cal snack, 1000 cal dinner, 200 cal snack.
Sorry Summer33,
I didn't mean to set off the alarms and I am quite healthy :) Thanks for the concern. ;) If that is what stuck out, then the key points of my message were lost. The key points were exercise and eat healthy, of which the latter is not comprised of ice cream, cake, potato chips, soft drinks, prime rib, bacon, bratwurst, hot dogs, etc. A good portion of the people that I see never attain their goals is because they don't know the proper foods to eat to help them get there. Some of this may be a motivation, but I am shocked to hear how many honestly don't know. Makes me feel that perhaps a Diet & Nutrition class should be mandatory in public school. Another point I should have made is that for anyone that is interested in losing weight, there is nothing preventing them from reading/buying/checking out from the library texts on the subject matter. Heck, right now I am reading the McArdle, Katch & Katch text on Exercise Physiology each evening--then again, I am a non-fiction reader primarily.
I left off the amounts and calories in my latter meals of the day, and perhaps the rice/wheat bread. (2 snacks (fruit typically + dinner). I am taking in between 1900 and 2200 cals/day when dropping weight, and 2200-2700 when maintaining. I left out how I maintain because it was irrelevant to the initial question.
Again, I apologize for leaving some stuff out, including amounts. I structure my meals such that I eat about 250 cal for breakfast, 200 cal snack, 200 cal lunch, 200 cal snack, 1000 cal dinner, 200 cal snack.
zip2play
05-26-2004, 09:57 AM
monkeygirl,
I think the old, OLD joke is quite appropriate here:
"How do you lose 200 pounds of ugly fat overnight....DIVORCE HIM!"
A healthy diet must come from within and must be gradual. It can NEVER be imposed by someone else because human nature will resent and subvert any such effort.
If your hubby is so insensitive, then it really sounds like you might be better outside this relationship.
I think the old, OLD joke is quite appropriate here:
"How do you lose 200 pounds of ugly fat overnight....DIVORCE HIM!"
A healthy diet must come from within and must be gradual. It can NEVER be imposed by someone else because human nature will resent and subvert any such effort.
If your hubby is so insensitive, then it really sounds like you might be better outside this relationship.
miamimissy
05-27-2004, 04:56 PM
Its sad that whoever it is you are married to values more your weight than the person you are. You should love yourself no matter what and lose weight because you want to not because someone is not happy with how you look. Anyway, I've never been married so I don't know the position you are in but if you keep a balanced diet and do cardio for at least 45 minutes 6 times a week you'll lose weight.