I found out my partner of five years has had HepC and never told me. I foundout because I saw the puncture mark on his abdomen where he had a liver biopsy. I am well aware the odds of sexual transmission are minimal but he made the decision for both of us as to whether I was at risk or not. I look back at the past 5 years, and I remember times when he held back sexually and I thought it was me. I find out now that he held back because he was worried I might contract it. He tells me my chancesare 1/1000 but the fact that we are even discussing the odds of my being infected makes me angry. Even with the remotest odds, I deserved to know and make this decision for myself. I feel like he has led a double life in a way. I am sorry he has been living with this burden yet he has had five years of GI docs and psychiatrist to work through this so I don't think I'm obligated to 'take care' of his emotional needs right now. I should have been told. Even the smallest of odds gambled with my well-being. This was more about him than me. I am invested in our relationship. I want to go from here but I'm so angry. He asked me yesterday if I would hold a 'resentment' against him and cried about this, and I found myself taking care of him and unable to have my own feelings about this. I don't know what to feel or how to go from here in our relationship.

Hi There,

First and foremost go get tested. That was heartless of this guy. Seems to me that he couldn't really care all that much putting you at risk without your knowledge and permission. The least he could have done would be to use condoms and make sure you never use his grooming tools such as razors or manicure tools. Sure he's scared and in pain but at this point you need to put some space between you and get this all straightened out in your head. Heck, if he'd lie to you about something this important what else is he withholding? I think it is cruel and grounds to end the friendshipf you choose. I told my boyfriend immediately after I found out. We did research and we have made a joint informed decision as to how we handle our sex life and other precautionary measures. My utmost concern with this virus is that I DO NOT want to pass it on. Before I knew, well....I didn't know. Now I do and I am responsible for protecting others as much as possible. Good luck and you have every right to be angry because though it is a low risk, it is a higher risk from male to female transmission. You need to be tested.

Diann :o