I found out my partner of five years has had HepC and never told me. I foundout because I saw the puncture mark on his abdomen where he had a liver biopsy. I am well aware the odds of sexual transmission are minimal but he made the decision for both of us as to whether I was at risk or not. I look back at the past 5 years, and I remember times when he held back sexually and I thought it was me. I find out now that he held back because he was worried I might contract it. He tells me my chancesare 1/1000 but the fact that we are even discussing the odds of my being infected makes me angry. Even with the remotest odds, I deserved to know and make this decision for myself. I feel like he has led a double life in a way. I am sorry he has been living with this burden yet he has had five years of GI docs and psychiatrist to work through this so I don't think I'm obligated to 'take care' of his emotional needs right now. I should have been told. Even the smallest of odds gambled with my well-being. This was more about him than me. I am invested in our relationship. I want to go from here but I'm so angry. He asked me yesterday if I would hold a 'resentment' against him and cried about this, and I found myself taking care of him and unable to have my own feelings about this. I don't know what to feel or how to go from here in our relationship.

I found out my partner of five years has had HepC and never told me. I foundout because I saw the puncture mark on his abdomen where he had a liver biopsy. I am well aware the odds of sexual transmission are minimal but he made the decision for both of us as to whether I was at risk or not. I look back at the past 5 years, and I remember times when he held back sexually and I thought it was me. I find out now that he held back because he was worried I might contract it. He tells me my chancesare 1/1000 but the fact that we are even discussing the odds of my being infected makes me angry. Even with the remotest odds, I deserved to know and make this decision for myself. I feel like he has led a double life in a way. I am sorry he has been living with this burden yet he has had five years of GI docs and psychiatrist to work through this so I don't think I'm obligated to 'take care' of his emotional needs right now. I should have been told. Even the smallest of odds gambled with my well-being. This was more about him than me. I am invested in our relationship. I want to go from here but I'm so angry. He asked me yesterday if I would hold a 'resentment' against him and cried about this, and I found myself taking care of him and unable to have my own feelings about this. I don't know what to feel or how to go from here in our relationship.

Hi McGary,

Of course this would hurt and make you angry. In addition, his information is optimistic but not correct. While sexual transmission is not the most common form of hep c contagion, one in a thousand is way understating the risk. Most studies of long-term monogamous couples (that's you guys), show a transmission rate of between two and 15 percent over several years. This is a moderate risk level, but not trivial.

I'd get tested if I were you. Then, I would hit this guy with something hard.

My opinion only, needless to say.


sean