melly88888
05-23-2004, 10:00 PM
I have not been diagnosed with OCD but I think I may have it. I am in my late 20's and I worry about how I look constantly. I have a hard time maintaining relationships b/c I never feel like I am pretty enough. I have had lots of short term relationships b/c many people find me attractive physically but it is me that does not. I do not watch t.v. or look at beauty magazines b/c it depresses me.
I always worry what people think of me and if they like me. I worry so much sometimes it prevents me from meeting new people and my job demands meeting new people constantly. I have a hard time relaxing b/c I worry so much. I have to have a surgery done soon and I have worried and cried so much about having it done. Does anyone else have symptoms like this and is this constant worrying and what if's related to OCD. I worry so much that I am not perfect and how to fix it that I don't get anything else done. I am seeing a psychiatrist this week. I don't want to be like this anymore. Is there aything that has helped others. Thanks so much for any advice. I have been dealing with this for way too long.
I always worry what people think of me and if they like me. I worry so much sometimes it prevents me from meeting new people and my job demands meeting new people constantly. I have a hard time relaxing b/c I worry so much. I have to have a surgery done soon and I have worried and cried so much about having it done. Does anyone else have symptoms like this and is this constant worrying and what if's related to OCD. I worry so much that I am not perfect and how to fix it that I don't get anything else done. I am seeing a psychiatrist this week. I don't want to be like this anymore. Is there aything that has helped others. Thanks so much for any advice. I have been dealing with this for way too long.
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crazygrl777
05-23-2004, 10:24 PM
I feel your pain. I think the same way you do, and I have for years. I am almost 23 years old and I have never liked myself, ever. I feel like I am this huge, fat, ugly person that no one should like. I do the opposite of you though, I feel like I am compelled to look at magazines and stuff. I stare at pictures of women, there legs, stomach, face, everything. I stare at people walking on the street. I hate looking in the mirror. I look at pictures of myself and I feel like the person in the picture is pretty, but I feel like that person isn't me. I'm sure I am not making any sense. I don't think my stuff is as progressed as yours, but it does suck.
melly88888
05-23-2004, 10:59 PM
Thanks for your reply. It makes me feel better there is someone out there dealing with the same thing. I have gone through cycles where sometimes it bothers me other times it doesn't. I hate looking at pictures of me too and I look at the pretty girl in the picture and feel that was just a good day or it really isn't me. I know it sounds crazy.
FroBoyPeaceGuy
05-24-2004, 04:38 AM
Sup Melly88888,
First off, I bet you are an absolutely gorgous lady. :wave: I personally do not have OCD, but my gf does (ontheway). I have heard her say she is not pretty so many times, and the thing is that she is an absolute beautiful girl, but some days she doesn't see what I am talking about. I believe that everyone of us is beautiful regardless of what others say.
Jesus said "We all come short in the glory of God!",which means no one is perfect, cept Jesus himself, so why do some ppl try to make others feel ugly when the reality is that to millions, maybe even billions of ppl, that that one person is an equal. I learned long ago that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so why should anyone judge.
I believe you came the right place for some advice. The folks here are all family and will help you, all you needed to do was ask. I am always looking for more friends. I believe friends are FOREVER!!! [ removed ] As always, God Bless!!!! :angel:
First off, I bet you are an absolutely gorgous lady. :wave: I personally do not have OCD, but my gf does (ontheway). I have heard her say she is not pretty so many times, and the thing is that she is an absolute beautiful girl, but some days she doesn't see what I am talking about. I believe that everyone of us is beautiful regardless of what others say.
Jesus said "We all come short in the glory of God!",which means no one is perfect, cept Jesus himself, so why do some ppl try to make others feel ugly when the reality is that to millions, maybe even billions of ppl, that that one person is an equal. I learned long ago that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so why should anyone judge.
I believe you came the right place for some advice. The folks here are all family and will help you, all you needed to do was ask. I am always looking for more friends. I believe friends are FOREVER!!! [ removed ] As always, God Bless!!!! :angel:
melly88888
05-24-2004, 11:01 AM
Thanks so much for your kind words. :)
prettyboi22
05-26-2004, 11:10 PM
Yes melly i am exactly like you no differant we should keep in touch threw this board im like a male version of you! and the sad thing is MANY PEOPLE do find me attractive YET i hate mirrors cannot take pictures of myself or look in magazines its sad and messedd up! maybe we can help each other find a soluction to this problem so far i beleivet this problem comes from within and that part of it is depression/anxeity therefor chemical. I am reading the feeling good handbook by david burns and its so far helped me a bit to control my thoughts better and make me like myself.
icarus_wings
05-27-2004, 06:02 PM
I really thought I was the only man with this problem until I read The Adonis Complex. The problem with it is, that I have obsessed about it so much, to a point that now I obsess about men constantly, which has sparked my HOCD.
I feel for those who obsess about this. I go through it everyday with avoiding mirrors, constantly sucking my stomach in, wearing a hat to hide my balding head. You name it and I do it all. The sad thing is, when I do look at my self in a reflection, I say "hey I'm not that bad looking" and I feel good for a while until I see the next good looking man who causes anxiety, etc.
I have been insecure withmyself since I can remember. And now with my depression and sexual obsessions I feel there's little hope for me. I just try to hang in there and take each day at a time though.
I feel for those who obsess about this. I go through it everyday with avoiding mirrors, constantly sucking my stomach in, wearing a hat to hide my balding head. You name it and I do it all. The sad thing is, when I do look at my self in a reflection, I say "hey I'm not that bad looking" and I feel good for a while until I see the next good looking man who causes anxiety, etc.
I have been insecure withmyself since I can remember. And now with my depression and sexual obsessions I feel there's little hope for me. I just try to hang in there and take each day at a time though.
chloestewie
05-27-2004, 06:32 PM
OKay - ditto to the first part of icarus wings's post ;-) I too have always been obsessed with my looks, which is why before the onset of my HOCD I would frequently see someone more attractive than I and think - 'I wish I looked more like her'
I think a lot of us with obsessive compulsive disorder have very low self-esteem. I feel like I am always trying to better myself - as if I am not good enough, pretty enough, (even though a get a lot of attention and people are always asking me if I am Hawaiian or from another country because I am 'exotic' looking according to them) smart enough (even though I graduated from a VERY good university)
However - there was a period when I was on meds and my OCD diminished and guess what? I gained almost 30 pounds and got a horrible haircut I was okay with it! I was secure with myself! SInce then my OCD came back, I lost the weight, my hair grew back and I am once again - obsessed with my appearance. It had even become so bad that I am a few thousand dollars in debt because of my shopping habit! Well, hang in there and remember what Stewart Smiley says:
Im good enough, Im smart enought and doggonit, people like me!!
I think a lot of us with obsessive compulsive disorder have very low self-esteem. I feel like I am always trying to better myself - as if I am not good enough, pretty enough, (even though a get a lot of attention and people are always asking me if I am Hawaiian or from another country because I am 'exotic' looking according to them) smart enough (even though I graduated from a VERY good university)
However - there was a period when I was on meds and my OCD diminished and guess what? I gained almost 30 pounds and got a horrible haircut I was okay with it! I was secure with myself! SInce then my OCD came back, I lost the weight, my hair grew back and I am once again - obsessed with my appearance. It had even become so bad that I am a few thousand dollars in debt because of my shopping habit! Well, hang in there and remember what Stewart Smiley says:
Im good enough, Im smart enought and doggonit, people like me!!
melly88888
05-27-2004, 07:16 PM
Thanks to all of you that replied. I can't believe there are other people out there that feel the same way...it's actually very comforting. The more I've thought about it though the more people I know show some characteristics of this disorder..actually it seems like I've dated lots of people that have OCD characteristics related to their appearance....it's so just interesting. I've never taken medication and I think I am on the milder end of the spectrum but it is still there. Neurobiofeedback was recommended to me and I may try that. I am looking for good books on the disorder and would appreciate any reading suggestions if anyone has any. Let me know if anything works for any of you! I'd really like to keep in touch with all of you. :)
melly88888
05-27-2004, 07:43 PM
I have one more question for all of you. When did this all start for you and why do you think it started. I think it started with me maybe in junior high and sometimes it runs more rampid than other times. I think I have a perfectionistic personality and any little thing that is wrong is hard for me to deal with. Sometimes I wonder if the media has anything to do with all of this....b/c of it's unrealistic expectations it places on all people. I'm always amazed when I'm out shopping and how there are normal people and not people that look like they were in a magazine or on television. I think the media needs a reality check...and the expectations it unknowingly places on people are ridiculous. Any comments on this as well. :wave:
chloestewie
05-27-2004, 07:57 PM
Hey Icaurs [ removed ] nice to see you here too! Im glad that the [ removed ] people are comming over here(I recogize some of the newbie's stories, even though they are posting under a different name). I mentioned before that I think its important that we all unite at a common place! Don't worry - i was just having a bad day when I said I was gonna leave the other board! Anyway - I am going to continue to encourage the [ removed ] people to come here and vice-versa. The more the merrier, right! Plus, I think its good to get a different perspective on the disease from new people!
And Melly - I can remember being in the 5th grade and people would call me 'Guess? girl' because I always HAD HAD HAD to buy the most expensive clothes and look the best. Infact, when I felt that someone looked better than me, I would actually get anxiety about it! IN THE FIFTH GRADE!!!
And Melly - I can remember being in the 5th grade and people would call me 'Guess? girl' because I always HAD HAD HAD to buy the most expensive clothes and look the best. Infact, when I felt that someone looked better than me, I would actually get anxiety about it! IN THE FIFTH GRADE!!!
melly88888
05-27-2004, 08:11 PM
Chloe...I know exactly what you mean. I have a hard time too when I think someone is better looking than me...it's just so ridiculous. Has anything other than medication worked for you? Has it gotten better or worse as you've gotten older? Has it affected your relationships? I know I have so many questions I'm new to this board and have really found it helpful. I just want to try to help myself. Thank you! :)
kaykayi
05-27-2004, 09:19 PM
For 3 or 4 years now, when someone whom I thought was better looking than me walked by, I would, almost compulsively, think "I wish I looked like her". I still do it.
I am 5'2" and 119-121 lbs. When I see a mirror, I see FAT. Even as I'm writing this, im thinking, "I probably don't have OCD about my appearance. I probably AM fat." I don't know. But it's horrible. Does anyone think I might be seeing more fat than is actually there?
To everyone else who seems to have obsessions about their appearances: I don't know if I can help much since I might have this problem, too, but I'll bet you are all gorgeous. Remember, even a person without OCD judges their appearance WAY more harshly than anyone else. We notice every little flaw, but most times no one else notices these things. People with obsessions about their appearance exagerate their "flaws" WAY more than anyone else does, so you're all probably, like, 100 times better looking than what you think you are. Hope that helped!
I am 5'2" and 119-121 lbs. When I see a mirror, I see FAT. Even as I'm writing this, im thinking, "I probably don't have OCD about my appearance. I probably AM fat." I don't know. But it's horrible. Does anyone think I might be seeing more fat than is actually there?
To everyone else who seems to have obsessions about their appearances: I don't know if I can help much since I might have this problem, too, but I'll bet you are all gorgeous. Remember, even a person without OCD judges their appearance WAY more harshly than anyone else. We notice every little flaw, but most times no one else notices these things. People with obsessions about their appearance exagerate their "flaws" WAY more than anyone else does, so you're all probably, like, 100 times better looking than what you think you are. Hope that helped!
melly88888
05-27-2004, 09:42 PM
Oh my goodness you sound like my sister...she's those same stats and she is NOT FAT at all. I think you are right...we are all too critical of ourselves...but where does this come from?
ontheway
05-29-2004, 02:20 AM
my goodness were should i start ? lol
I have had this so bad in school I had to have my make up perfect if it was not my day was not good my clothes had to be just right too i would stay up ironing them making sure they are just how i wanted and then i would get home froms chool wash off my shoes and then wake up very early in the morning and fix my hair i would get a shower everyday i never really felt that pretty in school i felt there where tons of other people way more beautiful then i was i would stress so much i got so tiired i wore myself out getting up so early in the morning especially when going to sleep so late i was just tired i dropped out of school and now i can go in public without make up but there was a time iw ould not let my brothers friends see me if i was not clean or let people see me if i didnt have on my make up now i feel better about myself but i have gain weight from the medication which changed my body and i worry about being to big or the streach marks i got from all the weight gain but im doing better with the appearance thing although i notice im started to have little of that come back i think
I have had this so bad in school I had to have my make up perfect if it was not my day was not good my clothes had to be just right too i would stay up ironing them making sure they are just how i wanted and then i would get home froms chool wash off my shoes and then wake up very early in the morning and fix my hair i would get a shower everyday i never really felt that pretty in school i felt there where tons of other people way more beautiful then i was i would stress so much i got so tiired i wore myself out getting up so early in the morning especially when going to sleep so late i was just tired i dropped out of school and now i can go in public without make up but there was a time iw ould not let my brothers friends see me if i was not clean or let people see me if i didnt have on my make up now i feel better about myself but i have gain weight from the medication which changed my body and i worry about being to big or the streach marks i got from all the weight gain but im doing better with the appearance thing although i notice im started to have little of that come back i think
melly88888
05-29-2004, 12:38 PM
I can understand exactly where you are coming from "ontheway." I too don't let people see me without my makeup on. I always feel like I have to look perfect. I just don't know how to take the focus off my appearance. Sometimes exercising helps to release those thoughts. If you have any suggestions on what has helped you I'd truly appreciate them. Take care of yourself....honestly I think the people that us that worry about our appearance are probably really too hard on ourselves....people don't expect perfection in others...at least I don't. Unfortunately I just expect it in myself. I hope things get better! Thanks for your reply :)
daftthing
06-16-2004, 04:44 PM
I have always, well since I can remember, felt ugly. Sometimes, on a good day, I'll look in the mirror and think "OK, well I don't look as bad as I did yesterday" but somedays, I can't even think about getting out of bed because I feel so ugly. It's mainly obsessions with my face and hair these days, although a few years ago it was concentrated on my body. I went through a few years of "bad eating habits" where I lost quite a lot of weight, but I think I am coming to terms with my body now, and finally accepting it, and tolerating it. Now, I must work on my face.