I have a 9 year old son, diagnosed with add about 2 years ago. I begining to think he really has bi-polar or has both. I have been reading some of the symptoms and they seem to fit him. I read that some kids with bipolar can be very silly, hyper, laughing etc without any reason to do so, well, my son has been like that for years, he can't seem to stop even when asked or threatened with punishment. He is extremly moody, we have been dealing with it for several years now and are now at a loss as to what to do with him, you can't tell him anything, everything is a fight with him, he seems angry a lot of the time for no reason at all. Punishments seem to have no effect on him. You can ground him for days, weeks, and he still will not behave. I'm starting to think he really has no control over what he does. If he didn't wouldn't he atleast try to listen so he can do things he wants to do? i don't know much about it, i'm just starting to read about it now. We have yet to find a punishment that works with him, taking favorite toys, books away doesn't help, keeping him in instead of playing with friends doesn't help, keeping him in his room doesn't work, we don't know what else to do. Our parenting skills leave a lot to be desired right now, but nothing (short of physical punishment) seems to help, what we do is purely out of desperation, we don't know what to do, he's taken to screaming at us every time things don't go his way, nothing makes him happy, nothing is every good enough. I know when i was his age and i got grounded i'd think twice about doing something again and i'd be good so i could get off it, he does none of these things. We are really at a loss as to what to do, everything that we have tried and been told to try doesn't work. Where we are running into problems is he is not violent, and generaly is well behaved at school, he acts up a bit in class, but is generaly well behaved, most of his problems are at home so he's last on the priority list when it comes to getting in for help. So how do you tell if your parenting skills need some help or if something else is going on? I would really like to get some help for him before he's at an age where he's more independant and it's harder to help him. We have mental health services at the childrens hospital so i'm going to call them, but i've been told it can take months to even get an appointment...like i said because he's not violent towards himself or others. He is on Ritalin SR 20mg and it has been suggested to me that it could be causing his problems, but if i'm remembering right his behaviour started at about 6-7 before he was on it.

I have a 12 year-old cousin who has been diagnosed with ADD, ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and they question her propensity to bi-polar disorder- some family history of mental health probllems is confirmed. She too doesn't respond to punishment, changes moods erratically, and is inappropriate with laughing, making jokes much like your son, has a fascination with body functions and inaapropriately announces and analizes her flatulance. She was previously treated with Ritalin, but at this time she is not being mediacated- some of her doctor's have suggested trrying mood stabilizers, or an antidepressant (new or tricyclic) therapy, but her mother is adamant that she won't consent. The child is in a special classroom, but struggles to complete even modified work. Have you looked into dietary changes? Have your ever heard of ODD- and read of the treatment- for her it is about being non-parental/ non-confrontational- asking her for a favour, getting her do do things with someone else- to "help" them out. She does fairly well in small groups but crowds are avoided when possible. Ultimately it has nothing to do with parenting skill or style, but about the accuracy of diagnosis and treatment compliance as it has been explained to me anyway. Good Luck. Keep posting updates.

Time magazine did an article about a year ago (you might be able to find it on the web in their archives) which discussed how kids were being misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD, when in fact they had bipolar illness. I would suggest you talk to your child's physician about your concerns and get the proper treatment.

Good luck.
P

My son was just diagnosed with bi polar and he is 8. As with you nothing seems to affect him as far as punishments. But he does have a sense of right and wrong and will try and to avoid siutations where he thinks there maybe trouble.....many times he has come into the house to tell me that things were getting out of hand with his friends and he needed to come in so he wouldnt get in trouble BUT that is at home......in my situation our home life is fine its school that gets the brunt of it. He was removed last year from his 2nd grade class due to behavior but we are now learning that the Zoloft he was on (without a diagnosis of bi polar) was setting off mania. This is common and have heard that children are being misdiagnosed with ADHD when in reality it is bi polar and the medication used to treat the ADHD is causing the symptoms to worsen. You need to see a therapist or a child psychiatrist to get a real feel for what is happening. As I said my son was just diagnosed last week after 6 months of confusion and desperation. At this point he is doing fine and we are not putting him on medication but I know that somewhere here in the near future I will get the call that he is out of control and we will then have to look onto medicating him. Really dont want to but I will in order to ensure he has a good start on life.

I deeply doubt its parenting as I had the same fear - at this point its something we cannot control but have to learn to deal with. Hope everything is going well for you now.

It sounds like bipolar disorder. I have both an Aunt and an Uncle, (my uncle also has Paranoid Schizophrenia), and that sound like them....my dad has never been diagnosed, though he's 48, but that sounds like him too.

By the way, both the Aunt and the Uncle are my dad's younger brother and sister.
So I guess it's a family gene -- maybe check your family history, and his father's, if possible.

:) Ok...did YOU steal my stepson??? Your 9 yr old is my 10 yr old to a T. He is bipolar and a long list. I agree it is not your parenting skills. We did the beating ourselves up thing. It doesnt get you anywhere. You learn to deal, understand, comfort. We have a strict controlled environment. Its what our son needs. Routine or he freaks. We are tired of drug therapy and I am going to be spending so very long hours online researching. We have to research for the kids that suffer with this diagnosis. If we dont control it for them then we will end up in a place our family does not want to be. Be stron stand firm do research ask questions print what you find to back up questions and or concerns. We have found if we dont have it in print doctors think we are just unhappy with current treatment in general. Bipolar loved ones will never be "normal" in our society but I'll be damned if We will allow our son to be a guinea pig. I vented and voiced....feel better. Thanks. We have been working thru this for over 4 years and we have learned alot. You do what you have to to make life good for the person. We have alot of good days but we have also done another med change. 4th time now. We wanted Abilify doctor said no. We went her way Geodon. Its not working so Tuesdays trip to her office will an unhapppy one for her. We want better results. I never go see anyone associated with his mental health without researching. I try to be as prepared as possible. If she resists then we will once again change Psychiatrists. 3rd times a charm. Take care God bless and be strong and patient...