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daystar91
05-27-2004, 07:26 PM
Hi,
I was diagnosed with bipolar2 almost a year ago, i guess had it for sometime but didn't know it....I've been on several different medications and thought i found one that finally was helping me....I'm on WellbutrinXL and Topamax....After a few months the depression was setting back in so they up the Wellbutrin up to 450mg which is the highest they can go....Is it possible that upping your medications can make you worse than what you were before you??It's really hard to explain the way i feel, it's emotions all over the place, like i'm screaming inside like i want to jump right out of my skin but on the outside of me i'm just look sad i guess...
I feel so lonely, this is why i'm so happy i found this board.....The sad thing is that my family is not understanding the whole bipolar thing they think i'm just feeling sorry for my self and don't need the meds....They tell me medication isn't the way to solve emotional problems....My husband on the other hand tries so hard to understand and supports me....He even sometimes goes to my appointments with me...But my inlaws i have heard label people with problems so i don't dare to tell them i have a problem....
Here is one more question before i go, i know that you are not suppose to drink on any medication but i'm going to a wedding and a picnic next month so i'm wondering if it will hurt to have a glass or two???Not shots or anything strong like that but like wine or something like that....I called my pharmacy to ask this question and he told me that on any medication you shouldn't drink but then he said which i was surprised, in your condition i would not be drinking with or without medication....To me i felt this was kind of hurtful...This is why i think people are afraid to get help, it's all about what people will think...I know i was there and still am with my in laws....Thanks

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Ruth6:11
05-27-2004, 08:19 PM
Welcome to the Bipolar Board! This is a great bunch of people here, and not only are alot of us Bipolar, but also family of bipolar - which is REALLY helpful when it comes to understanding this disease... We get help from BOTH sides of the issue.

I have Bipolar I (Classic) and even tho I don't take either of the meds that you do (I have been on Lithium since 1985) someone will definitely check in and share their experience with you.

I did want to check with you though - Is there anyone (like your doctor or therapist) than can have a family session and explain to your family that Bipolar Disorder is NOT an Emotional illness???
Bipolar Disorder is a very real physiological chemical imbalance in your brain. It would be like taking a normal person and shooting them up with drug (a chemical) and then JUST as it reached their brain tell them to just "act normal" - that it's "all in their head".
And I do hope you'll come back and be a part of this group. Every once in a while we get a wild card, but most of us are Wonderful!!!

daystar91
05-27-2004, 11:20 PM
My family lives hours away from me and don't think that they would be interested in even trying to learn about the disorder......It's like i get comments like you don't need medication you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself that came from my grandmother who says you can talk to me about anything, well i guess not......My in laws live right in town but i haven't told them only because i know how they have spoke about other people we know and have similiar problems so i'd rather not.....I don't think that they would be very understanding either..... I don't want sympathy, i want understanding...You would think that I would be asking alot from them....
My mother has similiar problems but over the years they seem to be getting worse so i thought i was helping her by telling her how i was getting help well wrong and maybe she would get the hint to get some for herself....Wow wrong thing to say....She doesn't have a problem....

Ruth6:11
05-28-2004, 04:50 PM
You answered my question before I even asked it! I was going to ask if you had any family history of Bipolar Disorder. And your mom's reaction really isn't all that surprising if you think about it... one of our problems is always accepting that our brain isn't just fine just the way it is. Big time denial.
It's a good thing that you've gotten past that - stability is alot easier to come by when you start to really monitor moods.
Don't feel like you have to tell anyone about being Bipolar. Only if you want to. After family I started with close friends - who to be honest acted like it was no big deal.
My in-laws know (I got tired of being asked when we were going to have a baby) but they don't talk to me about it.
It is such a BIG part of who I am that I guess I WANT to talk about it more often than I do. That's where these boards come in so handy!

mollymadison
05-28-2004, 08:13 PM
I often get the same reaction from family..."you don't need meds. You're not bi-polar". The thing is, the signs of bi-polar are seen in both sides of my family. I think if they finally realized this, maybe the vicious cycle of self destruction would stop. 4 people have been diagnosed on my father's side and several people have the signs on my mother's side including my mother.

Hang in there! Try not to get frustrated. I know that's hard sometimes. I have also found these boards to be supportive and educational. It's nice to know someone else's experience even though sometimes they are not so good. Again, Hang in there!

daystar91
05-28-2004, 10:07 PM
Hi again,
I just remember when my youngest brother was in juvenile jail or what ever you call it...He was in treatment for several different things and i remember one the them to be manic depression....Now to this day he is untreated and still in jail...Since fifteen, now he's twenty three, has been in jail that long...Long story but when he seems to get out he just goes right back in, could that be apart of depression or something???I remember once he mention that he couldn't stand to be in crowded public places, i guess they seem to bother him...
I think i remember my doctor saying that manic depression is a old term for bi polar is that right or maybe i heard wrong???
Thank you so much.....

apinecone
05-28-2004, 10:26 PM
:wave: See? My story is similar in several respects but somewhat different: == Dx <2 yr ago ADD (Inattentive) possible BP II [dad probably BP; son also ADD/maybe BP]. I went through a fairly long Dx but eventually got started on conventional Rx regimen: antiseizure (+anti-BP/mania breakout) before stimulant (for ADD side). This was kind of a rocky road, similar to what you report. I've been taking WB SR 150 mg 2x/da for > 3mos, and @ pdoc with: "beneficial" results [+ focus/distractability balance, + composure; - :bouncing: and :p] but am concerned about increasing WB. + recently have found out there's probably a connection in my case to "PANDAS" [oh no! not more Dx!!].

As for the family part: they have known @ this from the beginning, although I had somewhat similar reaction [mom esp.: denial; those )##*@ pdocs; don't you suggest that about your father!; etc.] but with some, well, persevering enlightenment, shall we say, incl. sib pressure (my sis's daughter is BP], has pretty much accepted it (well, maybe rationalized it-- but hey! I'm not proud, I'll take it!), and now even says things like (paraphrased) "you know, I was thinking, remember like you asked me to see if there's a track of this to your childhood. Well, do you remember the time when you ... and then ... ... ... Oh, and did you know that your aunt's [my mom's sis] husband has ADD; and I didn't know [her son] had rheumatic fever and they think he's ADD..."].

I know it seems that there's a 'stigma' w/BP moreso than ADD, but I've read the same from many ADD, BP, TS, OCD, et al, and to be honest my empathy factor is WAY up and I feel a lot more humility but also support and ==> want to help too if I can, so I think Ruth and Molly are right on!





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