hi. im a 30 year old woman just diagnosed with hsv2. i got it from someone i went out with in the fall. i knew the risks but i didnt think it would happen to me.

obviously im in a deep depression, but every day is a little better. i have a couple of questions i was hoping someone could address.

first, is it possible to cut down on the virus recurrences by starting suppressive valtrex therapy right now? i dont think so. but im just making sure.

second, is it really true that you shed more in the first 6 months or year of infection?

third, the guy i got it from had it for 12 years. he was on valtrex, too. i think he had an outbreak and didnt notice at the time. i read something sying when youre infected youre infected -- in other words, its not like being a little bit pregnant. but is it possible that i will have a milder case because he had the virus for so long?

Thanks guys. this board was really helpful -- not as crazy scary as a lot of other places.

I don't know anything about Valtrex, because I've never been on meds. I've had h about 14 years. They do say that you shed more in the first year. You know, nobody really knows why some people have such a hard time with h, and others don't. My ob's have never been real bad, but they've never been extremely mild, either. Of course, if I get run down, then the resulting ob will be worse than normal.

Really, you just have to wait and see how yours will be. Meanwhile, as you've probably read, build up your immune system and take care of yourself.

I know it seems like a ton of bricks has fallen on you. But you learn to deal with the herpes, like anything in life. You get down a routine that, after some trial and error, works for you, and then you go about your life, not paying much attention until you have to, and then only to apply your garlic oil or take an extra nap or take some extra Olive Leaf, or whatever.

Try to take it easy. Peace.

I'll answer as much as i can for you since we're almost the same age. I've had this since February and supressive therapy with Valtrex was the best thing i ever did or i just have a Hell of an immune system, some days it's hard to tell. I was devastated when i first got it, i was angry, i was an emotional wreck, but as BackPacker said you learn to live with it and realize that the Sitgma involved with it is far worse than the virus. Some people do have it worse than others and don't know why, and some have it very easy. I guess it's possible some people have side effects to the Valtrex and therefore don't like being on it, or they have something against the pharmcutical companies and just flat out refuse treatment of any kind.

The shedding does get lighter and almost non existant when the virus is at it's most dormant. Valtrex seems to keep the virus from replicating somehow What you want to do depends on what you want out of life, do you want to have a sex life, or do you just not want to have outbreaks? are you worried about passing it on to someone?
If you can find a cheap way to do it, definetely go on supressive therapy it works much better than periodic treatment.

Your first couple of outbreaks are usually severe and then they get better and better and even better. So write back and i'll see if i can give you some more information.

Thanks so much for responding, guys.

I don't know if I've had an outbreak yet, but I kind of think the last thing that I had was an outbreak. The doctor has also told me to wait and see what's up. They think it's also important that I experience a breakout without Valtrex so I know in the future what it feels like.

Since I havent had physical symptoms that have been bad yet, I am of course more concerned about passing it on to someone else. I do want to have a sex life, I had a really healthy dating life before and I'm having a hard time thinking about that all being over. I don't really have a problem with going on Valtrex suppressively. It's just hard to think that I got infected from someone who was on Valtrex, who didn't know he was having a breakout, who has had it for 12 years....and somehow I got it anyway! What bad luck.

Anyway, at this point I'm just a *********** wreck. Is there anything that either of you did that made you feel better psychologically in the early days? Have you been out on dates, or does that make it worse because it's too stressful to worry what the person will say when/if you tell them?
Thanks again.

Thanks so much for responding, guys.
Is there anything that either of you did that made you feel better psychologically in the early days? Have you been out on dates, or does that make it worse because it's too stressful to worry what the person will say when/if you tell them?
Thanks again.

I can honestly say being on this board helped more than i anticipated. You can can go way, way back in the deep thread from long ago and there's a lot of great posts, that helped me, like how do you deal with the anger. Learning as much about the virus as i could helped the most. That way when i told my closest friends they didn't freak cause i informed them of all i knew about it.

Working out and Ligting weights worked for me, cause it made me LOOK better and then that in turn made me feel better about myself and having this. The first few times i got my prescription filled i was nervous and wondering what the person at the counter must be thinking and then i got over it LOL I thin once you realize the STIGMA of this is far worse than anything else and it's been "built up" so much over the years by word of mouth and things like that you start to feel better about it. i use to laugh at the herpes commercials till i had it LOL I'm truly sorry you got this, but it's not so bad, once you get control over it. The moment that made a difference is actually in a post way way back, when the nurse at my doctor's office told me to "enjoy my life" take precautions, stay on the medication and basically don't do anything before, during or after an outbreak or do anything with someone who's just got over something like the flu or a cold, anything that would knock your immune systems defense down.

Also i would assume don't do anything when YOUR immune system is down either. I don't buy in to the whole contagious all the time thing, even though in your instance it's pretty strange. i'm wondering if HE used protection. During outbreak peroxide can be your friend, there's a thread on that too.
The first time i had sex after having this with someone and was very careful and they didn't get it, and still want me, made it all a whole lot better.
i know a few women who really care about me and don't think it's a big deal at all, but i haven't been in a situation where i'm in a NEW relationship and have had to tell someone yet...i figure it all depends on how much they know about it, and how much i can tell them about it. that's what's going to affect them the most. So it helps if you know as much as possible including the rumors, the lies, the stigma's and the truth. Like the happy couples thread is another good one too. I wish you the best.

Only one man I dated cared about it more than just making sure we didn't do anything sexual during an ob, and he wanted to stay friends. I never felt put down. Now I am with my soulmate, have been for years. I think people who date you but are really interested mainly in sex will be scared off, while people who care mainly about being with you will remain interested. H is a great tool for weeding out the, uh, weeds. Who needs 'em, right?

I think the key to avoiding transmission is to know your own body and to pay attention to anything strange going on, no matter how insignificant it may seem. That is one reason I've never tried meds. I think they mask your symptoms when you are contagious--although perhaps you are not as contagious in general. I'm not saying don't try them--that's just up to you, your philosophy, your theories that you develop from reading different people's experiences. The other key is to take basic common-sense medical care of your partner. We all know to wash our hands after contact with germs, but nobody seems to think of washing the genital area after sex. My soulmate has always washed off with soap and water right after. We do not generally use condoms, neither of us like them, but when we do to avoid pregnancy, he still washes off. We've been together 12+ years.

I think you need to give yourself a little time to get used to the idea, and to realize that your life will not be as severely impacted as you, and most people, fear. There are some people aho have a terrible time with the ob's, but you seem to have mild ob's if you're not even sure you've had one. Most people agree that having h has made them become healthier and more sympathetic in the long run. Others realize that they were lucky not to marry the wrong person--who was scared away by the h (kind of my feeling about the one man who didn't want to get involved with me--later I realized that we were incompatible for other reasons.)

Getting information and reading a lot of experiences here will help you deal with this. Be patient with yourself.

It's just hard to think that I got infected from someone who was on Valtrex, who didn't know he was having a breakout, who has had it for 12 years....and somehow I got it anyway! What bad luck.

I'm curious what kind of precaution did you use ? did you just wax or shave before you got it? did you have broken skin? did you wash up after or not worry about it ? did you see anything at all on him ? it depends on where a person has thier outbreak too..

did you have a blood test for it yet ? to make sure it was HSV 1 or 2 ?

Have you ben on suppresive therapy with Valtrex long? I have tried episodic and not had much luck. Frankly, I've almost given up taking it during an episode because I will get the OB regardless. Do you have to take Valtrex for life?
Thanks for your repsonse.

The question wasn't directed at me, but I'd figured I'd answer it anyway :)
I have been on supppressive therapy for Valtrex for eight years, and I get zero or one outbreak a year. I tried episodic acyclovir but had absolutely no luck with it. I'm aware that we don't know the long term effects of valtrex yet, but I have had two doctors encourage me to stay on it given it's safety profile, I had other doctor who disagreed, but i'm not sure how much he knew about it. Anyhow, for me the benefits outweigh the risks, but definitely do your own research and find a doctor who is willing to have a discussion about it with you, (not just blindly prescribe it or refuse).