HI
I had a little surgery 2 days ago to remove a cyst from my tailbone. No big deal. Only when I woke up from the anesthesia(sp) the surgeon dropped by my bedside to tell me that during the oporation he had gotten Poked! Right away there was a lab tech drawing blood from me. I was still very groggy and a little nauseated, but I could here the recovery room staff discussing what "pcr" meant. No one seemed to know. I wanted to tell them, but since I was the guilty party I just kept quiet. Later the doctor came down to see me before I was released. He wanted to know how I contracted Hep C. I told him that I wasn't sure, but that it may have come from a tattoo that I got when I was a kid. He asked me about GI specialists. I told him who I thought was the best, also said that I don't have one currently because of the high cost and poor insurance. He asked me about being sick. I tried to tell him that it took me about 20 years to start feeling sick and even now I'm not ever sure if it is Hep C or something else that makes feel ill. He looked really upset. I was so loopy from surgery, but I tried to appologize. He said it wasn't my fault, but I feel like it is my fault. The lab tech came back with a nurse and asked me if I would agree to HIV testing. Of course I did because I want to do what ever it takes to make the surgeon feel better, even though I don't have HIV(been tested many times). This is my worst nightmare. I have had a couple of surgeries since my diagnosis. There were never any problems, but I always feared there might be in the back of my mind. I have to go back to see him for a follow up on Monday. I wonder if he is dreading seeing me. I'm sure not feeling to good about seeing him. I have tried so hard not to make any one else sick. I don't even know how to wrap my mind around this. How can I help this man?

restless

I'm so, so sorry...I also live in constant fear of transmitting this darned virus to someone else. I tell every single person in the medical field that I come in contact with that I have the Hep C virus and they always seem so unmoved by my disclosure. The last time i had to "tell" was last month when I got my yearly bloodwork and I told the phlebotomist. She thanked me for telling her but told me she treats every person as if they have a potentially fatal blood disease. Oh how I would hate to be in your position to have to see that surgeon again. The truth is it's not your fault. It was an accident and those in the medical field are fully aware of the risks involved in their everyday life of being exposed to one thing or another. But I know that it still doesn't do anything for your peace of mind. Sorry this has happened to you and your surgeon. It sucks.

Diann

Thank you. I went back today. He was very nice. But I cried all the way home and I'm still crying. I have to go back one more time next week to get my stitches out. I will probably never know if he is infected. I don't know if that is good or bad. It has been pretty easy for me to be tough, until now. When I saw him today, I realized how scared I really am. I don't ever want another person to feel that way. Thank you again for your support.

restless

Restless,

I sometimes think of all the past 30 years I have seen doctors, etc, and didn't know I had the Hep C virus. Didn't know until last year I had it. I think the medical profession is fully aware they are always at risk for a variety of things besides the Hep C. Perhaps if you have any information on Hep C handy the doc can look over, at least you can feel you did something to help. From my dealings with docs over the past year, I believe most of them are pretty unlearned about it.

You must surely be a very kind and caring person to feel the guilt that isn't yours.

alice