Hi

For most of my life I've had food issues, and as a result, been overweight. Food was used as both a reward and a punishment when I was a child, and it seems that I still use it in that way. Night is the worst - I overeat at dinner, then I HAVE to have a bowl of ice cream later. Try as I might, I cannot break this habit - it's compulsive, I guess. I have various health problems which cause pain, and I think I use food now as a "pain reliever" of sorts. I don't know how to stop nor what to do. Anyone have similar food issues??

Thanks
Charlyssa

Hi Charlyssa,

I kind of had the opposite probs as you- Im a (recovering) anorexic. You asked for some suggestions to help stop these behaviours. I don't know the extent of what you've tried, etc, but what Ill tell you I kinda picked up from my treatment, tv (dr phil lol) etc. If you've identified the root of your problem, youve already solved half the problem. The other half is how to deal with it. I wouldn't go cold turkey on all your habits, that would be super hard to do and keep up.

Firstly, I would pick one or two things to try to work on. For example, your ice cream at night. The absolute easiest way to rid the ice cream problem is to get rid of the ice cream in your house. You might then turn to other foods, but the trick is to distract yourself somehow else. Why not take up an activity, maybe with your kids (i think i read in another post that you had kids?), If you take the "ice cream time" and substitute it with "playing with kids time" you may be more inclined to stick to it, because they'll be waiting. Remember, if you slip up a couple times it's ok! Don't punish yourself (esp. with more food!)

2. You could try taking up another activity to keep you occupied. For example, I took up knitting to keep me from focusing on food. You could try to learn to sew, then try to make something for yourself or a family member. It'll take a long time, and everytime that you have a "food craving" you can turn to the not-yet-done project. At first, you may only be able to do this a couple times. But after a while, it'll become easier as you control yourself more and more. But once you are able to do it, don't reward yourself with food! :) Instead, buy a new outfit/cd/go on a vacation/new makeup/etc. Even just getting a board with gold stars might be encouraging. Get your kids to help, if they can- that'll motivate you more if they support and encourage you.

Hope something I said helps, and remember- if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!!
GG

Hi Charlyssa,

I kind of had the opposite probs as you- Im a (recovering) anorexic. You asked for some suggestions to help stop these behaviours. I don't know the extent of what you've tried, etc, but what Ill tell you I kinda picked up from my treatment, tv (dr phil lol) etc. If you've identified the root of your problem, youve already solved half the problem. The other half is how to deal with it. I wouldn't go cold turkey on all your habits, that would be super hard to do and keep up.

Firstly, I would pick one or two things to try to work on. For example, your ice cream at night. The absolute easiest way to rid the ice cream problem is to get rid of the ice cream in your house. You might then turn to other foods, but the trick is to distract yourself somehow else. Why not take up an activity, maybe with your kids (i think i read in another post that you had kids?), If you take the "ice cream time" and substitute it with "playing with kids time" you may be more inclined to stick to it, because they'll be waiting. Remember, if you slip up a couple times it's ok! Don't punish yourself (esp. with more food!)

2. You could try taking up another activity to keep you occupied. For example, I took up knitting to keep me from focusing on food. You could try to learn to sew, then try to make something for yourself or a family member. It'll take a long time, and everytime that you have a "food craving" you can turn to the not-yet-done project. At first, you may only be able to do this a couple times. But after a while, it'll become easier as you control yourself more and more. But once you are able to do it, don't reward yourself with food! :) Instead, buy a new outfit/cd/go on a vacation/new makeup/etc. Even just getting a board with gold stars might be encouraging. Get your kids to help, if they can- that'll motivate you more if they support and encourage you.

Hope something I said helps, and remember- if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!!
GG


Hi GG -

And thank you for replying! Thing is, my hub loves ice cream, too, and he's so thin!!!! Getting rid of it wouldn't be fair to him when he works swings, isn't home til after midnight, I warm his dinner, and then he likes his ice cream, too. Maddening!! :D HE doesn't gain weight - and I do sooooo easily, due to a wrecked metabolism from decades of yo-yo dieting. I suffer chronic pain, and by that time of night I'm REALLY wiped, and the recliner is it for me....and the ice cream is soooo good, so....rewarding???? after a pain-racked day.
I'm not a snacker at all. But during the day I can't eat anything but carbs, tho I can manage milk, so that is what I have when I get up at 9am. "Breakfast" is at 2pm, when I have fruit and cereal and a piece of dry toast. I eat this way because I cannot digest fats during the day - I developed this problem about 8 years ago, and Drs. think it's because I had my gall bladder removed 25 years ago. But, by night, my sluggish digestion kicks in and I can eat more, and have some fats...and by night I'm also hungry and CAN eat. Of course, night eating is the worst - if I ate at night as I do during the day, I'd be thin! There's no doubt that this whole schedule, plus the digestive problems...well, it's a mess, isn't it? Oh, my kids are grown, BTW. :) I did chuckle, tho - I can just picture them coming over at 1am to distract their mother. LOL (Not laughing at you or your suggestion - just my warped sense of humor. :rolleyes:

It's like this HORRIBLE habit I cannot break. I have tried and tried and I just get more and more frustrated. I'm scared at where this will end if I keep gaining. I'm ashamed and embarrassed and I'm fast becoming someone who doesn't want to leave the house. Sigh........

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char

LOL i didn't know that they were grown! sorry! I guess that wouldnt be very helpful advice..hehe

Have you considered going to a nutritionist? I mean, it sounds like theres an actual physical problem with your metabolism and stuff- you may have to relearn how to eat because of it.

With the ice cream- yeah that's too bad that your hubby likes it too. Maybe you could talk to him about it and ask him if you skip it for a week (trial) and he could go out to get a cone instead...or keep it in a different freezer, so its not in your face.

Also, you could try writing down your "meal plan" for the day and posting it somewhere you could see it almost all the time (or at least when you go for a snack). This might motivate you to stick to your own plan..

Not to change the topic, but i have a quick ques- do you have any idea as to where the "ED's etc" and emily's posts went?

Not to change the topic, but i have a quick ques- do you have any idea as to where the "ED's etc" and emily's posts went?


Hi - thought I'd quick respond to this, then answer your other post. Due to Board rules, I can't tell you, but Mod1 might? if you email her/him. Really sorry.

That's ok! Thanks for the advice- im still unsure of all the rules and such. Looking fwd to hearing from you again!

LOL i didn't know that they were grown! sorry! I guess that wouldnt be very helpful advice..hehe

Have you considered going to a nutritionist? I mean, it sounds like theres an actual physical problem with your metabolism and stuff- you may have to relearn how to eat because of it.

With the ice cream- yeah that's too bad that your hubby likes it too. Maybe you could talk to him about it and ask him if you skip it for a week (trial) and he could go out to get a cone instead...or keep it in a different freezer, so its not in your face.

Also, you could try writing down your "meal plan" for the day and posting it somewhere you could see it almost all the time (or at least when you go for a snack). This might motivate you to stick to your own plan..


Hi GG -

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you - phone rang...well, then everything went south after that! :)

Glad you have a sense of humor - hoped you'd understand the mental picture I got of "playing with my (adult) kids to distract me...at 1am no less! :D

You're going to think I'm just terribly disagreeable..I'm beginning to feel bad, because you're so sweet and so helpfull, and yet again I have to say I can't do something. Sorry!! I guess I feel that this is my problem, that to keep ice cream out of the house (my son comes over sometimes and, barely in the door and he's looking for something to eat. LOL He takes after me in his love for ice cream :rolleyes: but not an ounce of fat on him. He's a carpenter and burns it all off. Grrr!) is unfair to both of them. And...what would stop me from eating something else...well, and I think you mentioned that. I want sooooo bad to just learn how to have self-control at night, the only problem time!

Been to Drs., had tests of all kinds, and that's what they come up with - long-term effects of no gall bladder. To eat fat during the day makes me hideously nauseated...in fact, I barely have an appetite during the day at all!! It's just all so unfair!!

As for the meal plan and writing it down, sure, I could.....but I can already predict what would happen...the call of the ice cream is too strong! :-( I used to have a ceramic pig atop the fridge LOL and not even that would stop me. I think what I need is to have is my mouth duct-taped at night! :D

Anything else you can think of???? You have great suggestions, tho, you really do!!

So tell me more about you! You say you are recovered? I even went to therapy and it didn't help me. Did it help you a lot then? I LOVE success stories - I keep hoping some day I might be one of them!!

Hugs!!!!!
Char :wave:

Oh I don't think you're disagreeable! You're just...a tough cookie to help :p. Don't worry about the ice cream then, try to remedy it somehow. Hmm what could you do.. well, what you could try is to replace it with a lighter ice cream. A lot of the new stuff out there (eg/ frozen yogurt, low carb, etc) is lower in calories but still tastes super good! You could even go for a sherbert! :)

As for self control.. thats a toughie. I kinda have the same problem with counting calories and wanting to control that, but trying not to. I can tell you though, once you do it once, its so much easier the second and third time around. Next time you go for the ice cream, make sure you STOP and think hard about what youre doing. REALLY hard. Think about it for a good couple of minutes. Then go for it, if you still want to- but make sure you have 3 good reasons to back up your "need for it".

About the eating...if its not "hunger" then you're obviously doing it for different reasons. Figure out what sorts of things "trigger" you- is it watching tv? Watching your hubby eat ice cream? Try to avoid these triggers for a bit and see how it works. If it IS because youre hungry, fill up on water! Get a HUGE bottle, and don't let yourself move from the chair to GET the ice cream until youve finished the ENTIRE 2-3 L bottle (its HARD..trust me :p).

Ill keep thinking bout it..but in the meantime i have to go off for the night..So i'll tell you my stories tomorrow! Talk to ya later!

Im back!- Ok so I understand how you need ice cream- but why not just work it into the day? For ex:
Breakfast- 2 fruit (200) + 1 slice dry toast (110..assuming its hearty multigrain- might be lower) = 310 Calories

Lunch= ............ (up to 300-400 Calories)

Dinner= fill up on VEGGIES (ill say 100Cals, but it depends which veggies and whats on them) and 2-3 oz of meat(if you can't have meat, have a small baked potato/cup of rice/beans- all are about 200 cals)/ or try frozen, entrees that are portion sized
= 300-400 Calories

So total for breakfast, lunch and dinner would be 1100 Calories (assuming the higher end options for L and D). Then, at 7 30-8, when you have an ice cream craving, have a scoop of two- it depends on the brand and flavour, but i'll guess per half cup is 150 Calories(this is usually the kind thats only found in stores..not haagen dasz or a rich flavour...check the label)- So have a cup (try to measure it out if you can...or just estimate 2 small scoops)= 300 Cals

Total Calories for the day= 1400 Calories (HEY look at that...you could still have 500-600 Calories more to get you to 2000 if you wanted to..but at this number you'll be sure to lose weight...or you could have a snack at 1 am if you wanted ..its not really a great habit, but if you snack on healthy things then it'll be ok..also, if you get hungry, you could have celery, fill up on water, have jello light cups, or other low calorie foods/drinks)

I know it seems on the "light" side, but you'll be able to have your ice cream and eat it too! (without the guilt!) Hope it helps (somewhat)!

Im back!- Ok so I understand how you need ice cream- but why not just work it into the day? For ex:
Breakfast- 2 fruit (200) + 1 slice dry toast (110..assuming its hearty multigrain- might be lower) = 310 Calories

Lunch= ............ (up to 300-400 Calories)

Dinner= fill up on VEGGIES (ill say 100Cals, but it depends which veggies and whats on them) and 2-3 oz of meat(if you can't have meat, have a small baked potato/cup of rice/beans- all are about 200 cals)/ or try frozen, entrees that are portion sized
= 300-400 Calories

So total for breakfast, lunch and dinner would be 1100 Calories (assuming the higher end options for L and D). Then, at 7 30-8, when you have an ice cream craving, have a scoop of two- it depends on the brand and flavour, but i'll guess per half cup is 150 Calories(this is usually the kind thats only found in stores..not haagen dasz or a rich flavour...check the label)- So have a cup (try to measure it out if you can...or just estimate 2 small scoops)= 300 Cals

Total Calories for the day= 1400 Calories (HEY look at that...you could still have 500-600 Calories more to get you to 2000 if you wanted to..but at this number you'll be sure to lose weight...or you could have a snack at 1 am if you wanted ..its not really a great habit, but if you snack on healthy things then it'll be ok..also, if you get hungry, you could have celery, fill up on water, have jello light cups, or other low calorie foods/drinks)

I know it seems on the "light" side, but you'll be able to have your ice cream and eat it too! (without the guilt!) Hope it helps (somewhat)!



Hi GG!

You put so much time and thought into your suggestions and I just can't believe how sweet you are! (You still haven't told me anything much about YOU tho!!) Are you average weight now? No more ed? If you're fine now, I am so happy for you!!!!

Your suggestions are basically what I do when I'm on a diet, with some adjustments due to my unfortunate daytime regimen. See, I couldn't care less about eating during the day - no appetite at all. I just eat something to keep my metabolism up a bit and so it doesn't get further wrecked. All I really want when I get up at 9 is a glass of milk (1%) and then I drink coffee w/artificial sweetener. "Lunch" is really my breakfast, at 2pm when I have half a grapefruit, 1 small orange, small serving of Raisin Bran cereal and 1 piece dry wheat toast. This is ALWAYS what I eat, whether I'm on a diet or not, because of my digestive problem. So I'm finally hungry at about 9pm, 9:30 or so, and that's when I eat dinner. When I'm on a diet, I eat a dinner just like you said, but there's no ice cream at all. That's what I REALLY need to do is go back on a diet, and that's where I'm trying to be at now....it's the motivation I can't seem to manage. That's what makes the ed so awful...it just sucks you in and won't let you go. Do you know what I did yesterday - I actually looked on the net for residential treatment places, like where Aurora went, only in this case, it would be for bingers and compulsive overeaters. I started to cry, because all I kept thinking was...this is the only way I can be away from food and temptation, in lockdown :D so they can FORCE me to eat the way I should. And maybe knock some sense in me. LOL I should check with my med. ins. and see if something like that is covered, and if they have one somewhere near us.

I remember years ago eating low calorie ice cream and it was AWFUL! Maybe it's changed in recent years then? I guess I should give it a try but I despise yogurt. YUCK! Tastes like it should have been thrown out weeks before. :D Is yogurt ice cream better? Course, I suppose if I put Hershey's syrup all over it......LOL See?? Now don't you think I'm hopeless? I feel doomed, like I'm just supposed to be this way and it'll never change. Mayb I should just go for the stomach stapling, but it's so dangerous and it scares me. You must be getting sooooooo frustrated trying to help me and listen to how awful I am!! Are you OK? You can talk about you too, you know!! I would love to know your whole story about your ed.

Hugs!!!!!
Char :wave:

Aw, dont worry youre not hopeless! And it really didnt take THAT much time to respond and think of suggestions.

As for me, well, im 5'6' and have always been pretty "average" weight..thing is i dont like "average", so last may i went on a 7-day diet to lose five pounds, and that diet never really..stopped. lol. So I lost about 25 lbs (bringing me to 100lbs) in about 2 months. Aug 1st I was admitted to the hosiptal because my heart rate was very very low. I spent about a month there, after which i had regular checkups. Right now im at 117 lbs. Not quite where they want me (back to 125), but its a safe weight. Ive been taking a break from them basically because they cant support me being at this weight, not because its not safe, just because while i maintain other girls need to have the space in the prog (but im welcome back, no waiting list).

In the 2 months that ive taken a break from them, ive definately improved. We went on a family trip over march break, which was a disaster because i wasnt able to count calories like usual (i managed, but it was stressful). But since then, and only recently, Ive had a small slice of my brothers bday cake, and some other foods that i dont really know the calories of. Im not by any means cured! I still have big issues about my body (mostly my tummy) and things like that. I try not to think bout it much, but its there. This summer will be hard because Im going to a friend's cottage (where I wont be able to count calories like usual..) Im nervous just thinking about it. Thats the problem- I usually worry so much bout it i ruin all the other fun things we do :( Hopefully by then itll be ok..

A treatment centre wouldnt be a BAD idea. You shoudlnt feel bad at all about how "this is the only way"- It's not your fault this happened, no matter how much you think it is. It really is a mind thing, and the mind is supremely powerful (as we both can see). You say youve already tried diets and such- thats good!. Ice cream isnt the enemy, really...you can control your weight and have ice cream (i guess everyone is different, but many people can at least). Take it day by day, and dont be so hard on yourself!!

Have you heard from aurora and the others? How are they (i know you prolly cant say where they are..)

Aw, dont worry youre not hopeless! And it really didnt take THAT much time to respond and think of suggestions.

As for me, well, im 5'6' and have always been pretty "average" weight..thing is i dont like "average", so last may i went on a 7-day diet to lose five pounds, and that diet never really..stopped. lol. So I lost about 25 lbs (bringing me to 100lbs) in about 2 months. Aug 1st I was admitted to the hosiptal because my heart rate was very very low. I spent about a month there, after which i had regular checkups. Right now im at 117 lbs. Not quite where they want me (back to 125), but its a safe weight. Ive been taking a break from them basically because they cant support me being at this weight, not because its not safe, just because while i maintain other girls need to have the space in the prog (but im welcome back, no waiting list).

In the 2 months that ive taken a break from them, ive definately improved. We went on a family trip over march break, which was a disaster because i wasnt able to count calories like usual (i managed, but it was stressful). But since then, and only recently, Ive had a small slice of my brothers bday cake, and some other foods that i dont really know the calories of. Im not by any means cured! I still have big issues about my body (mostly my tummy) and things like that. I try not to think bout it much, but its there. This summer will be hard because Im going to a friend's cottage (where I wont be able to count calories like usual..) Im nervous just thinking about it. Thats the problem- I usually worry so much bout it i ruin all the other fun things we do :( Hopefully by then itll be ok..

A treatment centre wouldnt be a BAD idea. You shoudlnt feel bad at all about how "this is the only way"- It's not your fault this happened, no matter how much you think it is. It really is a mind thing, and the mind is supremely powerful (as we both can see). You say youve already tried diets and such- thats good!. Ice cream isnt the enemy, really...you can control your weight and have ice cream (i guess everyone is different, but many people can at least). Take it day by day, and dont be so hard on yourself!!

Have you heard from aurora and the others? How are they (i know you prolly cant say where they are..)


Hi GG!!

I think you are doing amazingly well, tho, I really do. I believe you are almost there, except for all the counting calories!!! :) Funny how we are opposites - I should be the one counting the calories and YOU sure don't need to!! At 5'6", 117, I think you are thin, but not dangerously so...is that about right, or no? But yes, 125 would be better. HOWEVER!! :D When I think of the height and dangerous weight of some, YOU are perfect! I think that the most important thing right now is that you are maintaining your weight, and THAT is terrific. That really is a lot to be proud of!! Can I ask you something tho? And you tell me if it's none of my business...but what made you decide to keep losing weight when you had reached your goal? Did you ever have a weight problem before this? They say there's usually a trigger of some sort. As for me, I'va had a lifelong trigger, I think!! :D

You say you have a "tummy" issue - you are so slim - how could you have a tummy?? Or is it just from the big weight loss? That will happen...and I REALLY worry about that if/when I lose - a lot of drooping skin!! But it CAN'T be that much on you...and besides, we're usually clothed so it wouldn't show! :) I will bet you look WONDERFUL. And please don't worry about going to your friend's cottage - how long will you be there? Just keep thinking to not worry about it and have fun - when you come back, if you have gained a lb or 2...just take a while and think about it, to see if you truly feel you must lose it. Try to adjust to it for a while? Sweetie, you are FAAAAAAAR from a weight you need to worry about...going UP I mean!!
So just try to enjoy yourself - think...just for this time I will not think about it. IF I feel I must lose (and you may not gain an ounce!!) I will deal with that when I get home. It sounds like you will have so much fun, so, you're right...you don't want to ruin it thinking about whay you're eating all the time. Whatcha think???

As for me, well, yes....NORMAL people can eat ice cream, etc., and not gain, because they've learned about and can TOLERATE, without a problem, normal portion sizes. They stop when they know they must. For me??????? It's just impossible. So, I think I either need to try hypnotherapy first and see what that does, if anything. Then, well, I may seriously consider the next step. It scares me, tho...but then, so does being so heavy. So, I am still pondering it all. I only know I must do something. I soooo wish I could feel about food the way you do!!!! I keep hoping!!! :D

So sorry, GG. Board Rules.....

Hope all is well with you!!

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Aw, dont worry youre not hopeless! And it really didnt take THAT much time to respond and think of suggestions.

As for me, well, im 5'6' and have always been pretty "average" weight..thing is i dont like "average", so last may i went on a 7-day diet to lose five pounds, and that diet never really..stopped. lol. So I lost about 25 lbs (bringing me to 100lbs) in about 2 months. Aug 1st I was admitted to the hosiptal because my heart rate was very very low. I spent about a month there, after which i had regular checkups. Right now im at 117 lbs. Not quite where they want me (back to 125), but its a safe weight. Ive been taking a break from them basically because they cant support me being at this weight, not because its not safe, just because while i maintain other girls need to have the space in the prog (but im welcome back, no waiting list).

In the 2 months that ive taken a break from them, ive definately improved. We went on a family trip over march break, which was a disaster because i wasnt able to count calories like usual (i managed, but it was stressful). But since then, and only recently, Ive had a small slice of my brothers bday cake, and some other foods that i dont really know the calories of. Im not by any means cured! I still have big issues about my body (mostly my tummy) and things like that. I try not to think bout it much, but its there. This summer will be hard because Im going to a friend's cottage (where I wont be able to count calories like usual..) Im nervous just thinking about it. Thats the problem- I usually worry so much bout it i ruin all the other fun things we do :( Hopefully by then itll be ok..

A treatment centre wouldnt be a BAD idea. You shoudlnt feel bad at all about how "this is the only way"- It's not your fault this happened, no matter how much you think it is. It really is a mind thing, and the mind is supremely powerful (as we both can see). You say youve already tried diets and such- thats good!. Ice cream isnt the enemy, really...you can control your weight and have ice cream (i guess everyone is different, but many people can at least). Take it day by day, and dont be so hard on yourself!!

Have you heard from aurora and the others? How are they (i know you prolly cant say where they are..)


Hi GG!!

I think you are doing amazingly well, tho, I really do. I believe you are almost there, except for all the counting calories!!! :) Funny how we are opposites - I should be the one counting the calories and YOU sure don't need to!! At 5'6", 117, I think you are thin, but not dangerously so...is that about right, or no? But yes, 125 would be better. HOWEVER!! :D When I think of the height and dangerous weight of some, YOU are perfect! I think that the most important thing right now is that you are maintaining your weight, and THAT is terrific. That really is a lot to be proud of!! Can I ask you something tho? And you tell me if it's none of my business...but what made you decide to keep losing weight when you had reached your goal? Did you ever have a weight problem before this? They say there's usually a trigger of some sort. As for me, I'va had a lifelong trigger, I think!! :D

You say you have a "tummy" issue - you are so slim - how could you have a tummy?? Or is it just from the big weight loss? That will happen...and I REALLY worry about that if/when I lose - a lot of drooping skin!! But it CAN'T be that much on you...and besides, we're usually clothed so it wouldn't show! :) I will bet you look WONDERFUL. And please don't worry about going to your friend's cottage - how long will you be there? Just keep thinking to not worry about it and have fun - when you come back, if you have gained a lb or 2...just take a while and think about it, to see if you truly feel you must lose it. Try to adjust to it for a while? Sweetie, you are FAAAAAAAR from a weight you need to worry about...going UP I mean!!
So just try to enjoy yourself - think...just for this time I will not think about it. IF I feel I must lose (and you may not gain an ounce!!) I will deal with that when I get home. It sounds like you will have so much fun, so, you're right...you don't want to ruin it thinking about whay you're eating all the time. Whatcha think???

As for me, well, yes....NORMAL people can eat ice cream, etc., and not gain, because they've learned about and can TOLERATE, without a problem, normal portion sizes. They stop when they know they must. For me??????? It's just impossible. So, I think I either need to try hypnotherapy first and see what that does, if anything. Then, well, I may seriously consider the next step. It scares me, tho...but then, so does being so heavy. So, I am still pondering it all. I only know I must do something. I soooo wish I could feel about food the way you do!!!! I keep hoping!!! :D

So sorry, GG. Board Rules.....

Hope all is well with you!!

Hugs!!!!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Thanks for your kind words! Your questions arent too personal. To answer your first one- ok, many people in my position feel the need to keep dropping weight as they reach their target weight, which forces them to spiral downwards. I was different though- I never experienced that. What happened was, I lost (maybe?) 10 lbs, and liked myself there- I wanted to stop. My problem? HOW?? I assosiated "normal eating" (how I used to eat) with my old weight, at which I wasn't happy. And I assosiated my "problem eating" with the weight I was at. So I kept up the "problem eating". When I realized that I was still dropping, I knew I had to do something- but I didn't want to "eat normally" because I didn't want to be 125!! Thus the dilemma- in my eyes, dropping weight was better than gaining weight, so I settled for dropping because I didn't know how to maintain.

I'm going to my friend's cottage for possibly 2 weeks. She's kinda got an issue around food too, but hers isnt as extreme as mine (she's just kinda "dieting" all the time, but not really..ya know?) It'll be tricky because her parents don't really cook, so we'll probably be going out a lot- or (hopefully!) eating frozen foods (with calories!). But that's in august, so ive got all of july to work on the counting. I like your plan about not worrying about it till i get home- I tried that for a family trip in march and it failed, but 2nd time around, things may change!

I think you shoudl consider the next step (getting help i mean). It would do wonders for your health, both mental and physical. It scared me too, but looking back it was so worth it. Think carefully before you put your foot down!

Thanks for your kind words! Your questions arent too personal. To answer your first one- ok, many people in my position feel the need to keep dropping weight as they reach their target weight, which forces them to spiral downwards. I was different though- I never experienced that. What happened was, I lost (maybe?) 10 lbs, and liked myself there- I wanted to stop. My problem? HOW?? I assosiated "normal eating" (how I used to eat) with my old weight, at which I wasn't happy. And I assosiated my "problem eating" with the weight I was at. So I kept up the "problem eating". When I realized that I was still dropping, I knew I had to do something- but I didn't want to "eat normally" because I didn't want to be 125!! Thus the dilemma- in my eyes, dropping weight was better than gaining weight, so I settled for dropping because I didn't know how to maintain.

I'm going to my friend's cottage for possibly 2 weeks. She's kinda got an issue around food too, but hers isnt as extreme as mine (she's just kinda "dieting" all the time, but not really..ya know?) It'll be tricky because her parents don't really cook, so we'll probably be going out a lot- or (hopefully!) eating frozen foods (with calories!). But that's in august, so ive got all of july to work on the counting. I like your plan about not worrying about it till i get home- I tried that for a family trip in march and it failed, but 2nd time around, things may change!

I think you shoudl consider the next step (getting help i mean). It would do wonders for your health, both mental and physical. It scared me too, but looking back it was so worth it. Think carefully before you put your foot down!


Hi Girl!!

So then if I understand you correctly, you do know how to maintain your weight now? I know there's some sort of formula to use to do this, but I'm sure you know that by heart now!! :) So, then, you know how many calories it takes to maintain your weight, or to lose weight, or to gain weight. Does this mean then...problem solved? because I know there are also books you can buy that give the calories for just about everything, even fast food places - like how many calories to a Big Mac, fries, etc., etc. I also think, if I understand you correctly, that staying on top of this...like, you must have control of it?? or it makes you very nervous and worried. So, I really do think a calorie counter book is a good idea. Then you won't have to worry and wonder...and you may be able to eat more than you think you can, you know? I think it's going to be very helpful to you that your friend is also watching her weight, as then you won't be self-conscious if you have to refer to the book. In fact, you could both sort of make a game of it, you know? Most all fast food places now offer weightwatchers meals...that is, not "WeightWatchers" LOL I just mean for people who are calorie-conscious. They have salads, for example. I SERIOUSLY doubt you'd gain if you ate a salad and a hamburger! But again, I just hope you'll enjoy this time with your friend and not worry about something you can deal with when you go home, you know? Make it your mantra: :D "I will deal with this when I get home - for now I will just have fun!" LOL Listen to me - always solving everyone else's problems when her own are out of control. Are you learning yet that I'm just a big hipocrite??? LOL Anyway, I think if you try very hard to have that mindset, it do believe it will help. It's only 2 weeks, right? If by chance you get home and find you've gained a couple of pounds, it's no reason to panic - just think, "hey, I took off this weight before, I can do it again - no problem!!" Besides, even if you found you gained 4 pounds (but highly unlikely!!) you would STILL weigh less than 125, right?? :D Sigh........if only I had these worries..........LOL I'm 5'7" and I weigh A LOT more than you...if I weighed 140!!!!!! I would be deleriously happy!!!!!!!! How's that for a bit of perspective for you??? LOL

Hugs!!!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

I'm such a dork!

Sorry, don't know what happened

You make me laugh char :)

Well, yes I'd say I do know how to maintain my weight I suppose. I still have troubles eating foods when they dont have a nutritional label. As for the calorie counter books- well- lets just say that I could write one. I could basically tell you the calories of everything that you'd want to know, and if I couldnt tell you, I could make a pretty good estimate.

However, given that Ive been maintaining, its not as clear cut as XX Calories=loss, XX Cals=maintain and XX Cals= gain. This is partly because my movements change from day to day and partly because not all calories are made equal. Referring to the 2nd one, what I know is that a calorie is a calorie, but not all calories are used the same way. Basically, a person eating 1000 Calories in Cake, versus 1000 calories in meat or fruit- the cake person would probably gain weight, because carbs and fat can be easily stored whereas meats take MUCH more energy to store as fat (Not that 1000 Cals is enough in one day, but as an example..).

I'm sure you're right about the cottage, and I've still got a month to prepare and things like that. Plus she understand my problem so she wont be pushing me to eat crappy foods and such.

Now back to you! At 5'7', what weight are you at (if you dont mind me asking!! you dont have to say if you dont want to!!)? And are you maintaining at this weight or are you just gaining and gaining?

As for the hypocrite part- I dont think so. I think people help themselves by helping others. It gives them a sort of...distraction almost..like they'll forget their problems by focusing on someone else's...But in my opinion i think you should get help for yourself FIRST, and then go help others!! :D

You make me laugh char :)

Well, yes I'd say I do know how to maintain my weight I suppose. I still have troubles eating foods when they dont have a nutritional label. As for the calorie counter books- well- lets just say that I could write one. I could basically tell you the calories of everything that you'd want to know, and if I couldnt tell you, I could make a pretty good estimate.

However, given that Ive been maintaining, its not as clear cut as XX Calories=loss, XX Cals=maintain and XX Cals= gain. This is partly because my movements change from day to day and partly because not all calories are made equal. Referring to the 2nd one, what I know is that a calorie is a calorie, but not all calories are used the same way. Basically, a person eating 1000 Calories in Cake, versus 1000 calories in meat or fruit- the cake person would probably gain weight, because carbs and fat can be easily stored whereas meats take MUCH more energy to store as fat (Not that 1000 Cals is enough in one day, but as an example..).

I'm sure you're right about the cottage, and I've still got a month to prepare and things like that. Plus she understand my problem so she wont be pushing me to eat crappy foods and such.

Now back to you! At 5'7', what weight are you at (if you dont mind me asking!! you dont have to say if you dont want to!!)? And are you maintaining at this weight or are you just gaining and gaining?

As for the hypocrite part- I dont think so. I think people help themselves by helping others. It gives them a sort of...distraction almost..like they'll forget their problems by focusing on someone else's...But in my opinion i think you should get help for yourself FIRST, and then go help others!! :D


Hi girl -

You are so very wise!! I thought for a while that I might have to worry about you, but, turns out, I think you have your head on very straight. :) I can tell that you are well into recovery and that is just soooo great!! Anyway, now I know who to go to when I have questions about diets and calories!! I have been on sooooooo many in my life, and I've lost a lot of weight (so I guess I must have done something right!) but I've always eventually gained it back. I always think, "THIS time I will keep it off!!" but it hasn't happened yet.

I am at my heaviest I have ever been in my life and I just started gaining again after maintaining for a few months - some upsets and stresses....then I turn to food and eat more than I should. I would tell you my weight, but it's just soooooo embarrassing!! I am obese...more obese than usual. :rolleyes:

I do believe you are quite correct that I sort of helped myself by helping others on this board. It was, and is, a distraction, yes...but I also think that there have been others that need help more than I do, in some ways, anyway. I mostly came here to see if there were others like me and to see how they dealt/deal with food issues, and to learn from them, too. But I found that my problems, by and large, weren't as significant or important as others. I feel that I'm doomed in a way, so, if I can't be helped, might as well try to help everyone else. :D I know what I need to do, I do know HOW to lose....but I just can't seem to get motivated. The thought of suffering to lose all this weight just makes me want to throw in the towel before I even start. Yet, I know I MUST get going with this...but I'm becoming......??? I don't know the word to describe how I feel. I only know I'm furious with myself for allowing it to get to this point. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Ewww, this is really a downer of a post. Sorry!!! See? This is why I would rather try to help others, because this is what happens when I talk about me!

I'm curious at something you said...that you have a month to prepare before you go to the cottage. Prepare how? I suspect you meant about food, calories, etc., but how can you prepare for that? And as you are so very knowledgable about those things, well, I just wondered what could be prepared for during this month.

I hope you're having a great week end!!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Oh, your problems aren't any less important OR significant than anyone else's here! Your disorder too causes health, mental and relationship problems! You need help no less than anyone else!

I'm glad you know HOW to lose weight, and I understand the motivator part...I used my friends and getting back to school on time as mine! I know this is kind of really general, but why don't you do it for your kids. Don't you want to see your grandkids?? If your health continues to deteriorate, then you may not be around for them (if you already have them, do it for them anyways). Or, you could plan a vacation of some sort with your husband in a couple months time. Then, make it a goal to lose XXlbs before then- it'll be like a reward! It doesn't have to be somewhere you'll need to wear a bathing suit (if youll feel uncomfortable), but make it somewhere where you'll enjoy yourself. It can even incorporate excersise- for example, a skiing trip, scuba diving trip, hiking trip (those are fun!..you can even camp out and bring your own food).

Also, don't fall into the "dieter's mentality". This is basically the all-or-nothing mentality. Ill give you an example: Suzy has been on a diet for 2 weeks already, successfully losing 4 lbs. One night, she goes to a friend's house (she knows whats being served) and they surprise everyone with delicious butter pecan ice cream that they just picked up. Suzy has stuck to her diet so far, all through dinner and such, so she decides to have just a bite of ice cream. After the bite she feels so guilty that she's blown her diet, so why bother trying to fix it- she eats half the tub of ice cream, plus the cake she had previously said no to. Now she feels even worse, but since she's completely blown her diet, there's really no point in trying to fix it, so she's destined to be fat her whole life b/c she can't diet successfully EVER.

That's the mentality that messes ppl up- a little bite here or there WONT throw off the diet. You CAN diet and have a spoonful of ice cream once in a while, and it won't throw you off. Obviously you can't have a litre of ice cream, but one spoonful will not ruin your diet. I'd say tomorrow (if possible), or at least SOMETIME this week, you start a diet. You can even keep an online food journal (with times eaten, measurements, etc), here in this thread if you'd like, to help you to stick to your diet more be sure to post the spoonfuls here and there). Let your husband know about it, and your family/friends, so they can support you and try not to do/say the wrong things. Weigh yourself the day you start (in the morn is best, but anytime is good), and then exactly ONE WEEK later (same time of day, same clothes-though preferably none). It's just an idea, you don't necessarily have to if youre not ready, but tell me what you think! (ps. I don't know if where you live will have it, but Dr.Phil's weight loss book is fantastic..it'll help you lose weight and feel better about yourself..look into it..maybe you canget it online? He also has a cookbook.):D

As for the preparations I mentioned..well I guess what I mean is, currently, I'm still very much so counting calories and having exact portion sizes. During the month before the cottage, I could try to ease off that a little, so when I go, it wont be the first time I haven't calculated the calories of the day. So by "prepare" I guess I just need to "speed up my recovery" within that month. It's a long shot, but if I can do it JUST one time, for one meal, then I think it'll make it that much easier in the summer.

My weekend has been pretty uneventful so far. I went to a party yesterday for my friend's birthday..it was so cold outside!! The party was lots of fun anyways. Hope yours is great too!
GG

Oh, your problems aren't any less important OR significant than anyone else's here! Your disorder too causes health, mental and relationship problems! You need help no less than anyone else!

I'm glad you know HOW to lose weight, and I understand the motivator part...I used my friends and getting back to school on time as mine! I know this is kind of really general, but why don't you do it for your kids. Don't you want to see your grandkids?? If your health continues to deteriorate, then you may not be around for them (if you already have them, do it for them anyways). Or, you could plan a vacation of some sort with your husband in a couple months time. Then, make it a goal to lose XXlbs before then- it'll be like a reward! It doesn't have to be somewhere you'll need to wear a bathing suit (if youll feel uncomfortable), but make it somewhere where you'll enjoy yourself. It can even incorporate excersise- for example, a skiing trip, scuba diving trip, hiking trip (those are fun!..you can even camp out and bring your own food).

Also, don't fall into the "dieter's mentality". This is basically the all-or-nothing mentality. Ill give you an example: Suzy has been on a diet for 2 weeks already, successfully losing 4 lbs. One night, she goes to a friend's house (she knows whats being served) and they surprise everyone with delicious butter pecan ice cream that they just picked up. Suzy has stuck to her diet so far, all through dinner and such, so she decides to have just a bite of ice cream. After the bite she feels so guilty that she's blown her diet, so why bother trying to fix it- she eats half the tub of ice cream, plus the cake she had previously said no to. Now she feels even worse, but since she's completely blown her diet, there's really no point in trying to fix it, so she's destined to be fat her whole life b/c she can't diet successfully EVER.

That's the mentality that messes ppl up- a little bite here or there WONT throw off the diet. You CAN diet and have a spoonful of ice cream once in a while, and it won't throw you off. Obviously you can't have a litre of ice cream, but one spoonful will not ruin your diet. I'd say tomorrow (if possible), or at least SOMETIME this week, you start a diet. You can even keep an online food journal (with times eaten, measurements, etc), here in this thread if you'd like, to help you to stick to your diet more be sure to post the spoonfuls here and there). Let your husband know about it, and your family/friends, so they can support you and try not to do/say the wrong things. Weigh yourself the day you start (in the morn is best, but anytime is good), and then exactly ONE WEEK later (same time of day, same clothes-though preferably none). It's just an idea, you don't necessarily have to if youre not ready, but tell me what you think! (ps. I don't know if where you live will have it, but Dr.Phil's weight loss book is fantastic..it'll help you lose weight and feel better about yourself..look into it..maybe you canget it online? He also has a cookbook.):D

As for the preparations I mentioned..well I guess what I mean is, currently, I'm still very much so counting calories and having exact portion sizes. During the month before the cottage, I could try to ease off that a little, so when I go, it wont be the first time I haven't calculated the calories of the day. So by "prepare" I guess I just need to "speed up my recovery" within that month. It's a long shot, but if I can do it JUST one time, for one meal, then I think it'll make it that much easier in the summer.

My weekend has been pretty uneventful so far. I went to a party yesterday for my friend's birthday..it was so cold outside!! The party was lots of fun anyways. Hope yours is great too!
GG



Hi girl -

I guess I just feel I'm hopeless. You have so much excellent advice, as have other people, so I feel guilty that there is so little I can manage to do of all the wonderful advice. Right now it is simply down to...JUST DOING IT!! But food keeps winning, and I get sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad at myself!! So mostly it's just easier not to try, then I don't have to feel so awful for trying AND failing, cause it just makes me feel 10X worse. I look at my slim son and my thin hubby, and THAT also makes me feel awful. ThaT I'm the only one that has a major problem with food...and that it has to SHOW so much. I really wish I could bring myself to purge. I know that sounds terrible, and anyone who purges would tell me NO, DON'T!!! But at least I wouldn't have gotten so fat.

As for my health problems, most, if not all, aren't related to obesity. I have degenerative disk disease, fibromyalgia, scoliosis, bi-lateral saroiliitis, arthritis in my neck and left knee (THAT one could be because of obesity- but I have also fallen on that knee several times as a kid, and twice as an adult, long before I weighed this much, so, I suspect it's injury-related, like football players always get) So, because I live with so much pain from all this stuff, it's kind of like food is sort of a......pain killer? in a way, too. I have use fppd for all the wrong reasons for soooooo long. That's why I think I've just got to get going with seeing a hypnotherapist, and stop procrastinating!! But I'm also a bit afraid, so that holds me back, too. I also have chronic anxiety and depresson and i take meds, and meds aren't helping my appetite, either. Oh, it's all just sich a mess isn't it?? So this is why I have all these feelings and why it's just easier for me to concentrate on everyones else's problems. Then I don't have to think about mine!! :D

Actually, we're in the process of looking for a house to buy and have to move by the end of Sept so that is keeping us very busy!! We just went thru all the loan approval stuff...and now we have to go thru it again, because as luck would have it, my husband just got a raise which throws everything off, so all the loan stuff has to be changed and we have to wait til that's done. So much anxiety!!!!! And that just makes my eating go crazy, too. I wish someone would just knock me out, I would sleep for a year, only IV fed 1,000 calories a day, and wake up slim. OHHHH, if only I could!!! I wouldn't even mind losing an entire year of my life - it would be worth it to not have to suffer thru dieting, temptaion, frustration, etc.

You have described "Suzy" well - she is me!!!! You're exactly right, especially about the blowing it with one bite. It's better if I don't have ANYTHING tempting at ALL, because one bite, and I'm a gonner. It's the same things alcoholics say - ne sip of a drink, and forget it. They can never drink again if they are to remain sober. But a person who is a food addict, they can't say "I'll never eat again!" - so, I've heard that it's the worst addiction out there. One is constantly surrounded by temptation, so, all they can do is to learn self-control. Ahhhhhh, and THAT is the hardest thing of all to do. What I NEED to do is become like you - be so afraid of food, and gaining, that I'm constantly aware of every morsel that goes into my mouth, to worry and think about calories. I wonder...if I ever did get slim (which, in all my diets I have NEVER done - I've just been less fat!!!) I wonder if I would be more like you?? Because I would actually HOPE SO!!!! As it's the only way to STAY slim and not gain it all back.

Whenever I do start the diet, I will definitely tell you...it's just getting to that point to START!! LOL Oh, and it will take at LEAST a month to drop the first pound - that is what I hate the most. All that work and deprivation and it won't show on the scales. This is what I have done to my metabolism with yoyoing for decades. My body hangs on to EVERY OUNCE with a death grip, this is no joke. Most people think I'm lying, that I MUST be eating things I shouldn't, but no, it's true - this is what happens. Maybe you know about this so you know I'm telling the truth. Also, because my metabolism is so wrecked, I can actually eat less than others and still gain, or, at least, not lose any weight at all. This is what I go thru, and why it's soooooooo hard to get motivated to diet, because I know what I'm in for. Ugh!!

I do understand what you mean now about the prep before you go to the cottage. I think by now you must know exactly what you can eat and know you won't gain, and how to keep from gaining, the calories of most everything, etc. I think you have done wonderfully and I envy you soooooooo much!! And I only wish some day I will have the same determination as you!!

I can't imagine where you live that it is so cold!! Where I live, it is about 100 every day (the U.S., in the desert Southwest)

It's heading on 10:30am so I think I better get at some things, wake my hub so he doesn't sleep thru Father's Day!! :) Take care!!! I so enjoy hearing from you!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Lol- go figure..I live in way north of you. It wasn't THAT cold, just not June or swimming weather.

You don't want to be like me- I know you THINK you do, so you could be slim, but you don't! It sucks to be aware of everything that goes in my mouth, whenever, whereever. It stops me from eating a lot of things (that i don't know the cals of, or watever reason) and is like a cloud hanging over me constantly. I envy you in a way- you know, to some extent, how to eat meals without measuring, counting calories, or worrying about anything. Except for the ice cream, you can subconciously just EAT, and not worry about gaining weight- that i don't know how to do.

Now that you lay it all out, I understand the trouble it is to go on a diet. But its a catch-22: You don't diet b/c it's too much trouble and youre THAT much further from being slim. It could be tricky to start now, because of the moving and such, but you can always come up with more excuses- its best to just DO IT. Easier said then done, I know. But really, think about how much better it is to be at a healthier weight, and ask yourself WHY youre waiting?!

And really, if you wanted to get rid of the ice cream, talk to your husband. Explain the situation, explain how your health is worsening, and explain why you want to get rid of "trigger foods" in the house. It's his call, but Im willing to bet he can get rid of ice cream for a couple months, at least in the house! It won't hurt to talk to him...

I know its hard to start anything new, I completely understand (although mine is the opposite problem, it has similarities). But really, life is short, and there will always be another "moving houses" or "husband who likes ice cream". The trick is to just jump into it, and don't plan it too much. I know this prolly sounds weird- what i mean is, dont think about dieting and what will happen in the future. It'll always be hard work, it wont get easier, even if youre 100 yrs old. Your husband will always like ice cream, even if you gain 100 more lbs. Your health will only get worse- not better. IMO, what have you got to lose (pun not intended)? I say, just do it!

When and if you decide to start your diet, do try to write down what you eat, whether online or in a notebook somewhere. Even if it takes a while, losing weight will happen (esp. if you add a lil excersise). Make sure you talk to people about it- nobody can do it alone. This doesnt necessarily mean you need to go get a therapist (but if you feel like itll help, go right ahead!), but this means talk to the people around you- friends, family and most importantly, your husband. He can help you through it!

I'm sorry if this post is very..pushy.., but I'm just worried that you're not seeing the right things here, and that, in effect, you're hurting yourself! I'll understand if you get a lil angry, and I'm sorry again, but maybe, just maybe, could you really think about some of the things I said?
hugs
gg

Lol- go figure..I live in way north of you. It wasn't THAT cold, just not June or swimming weather.

You don't want to be like me- I know you THINK you do, so you could be slim, but you don't! It sucks to be aware of everything that goes in my mouth, whenever, whereever. It stops me from eating a lot of things (that i don't know the cals of, or watever reason) and is like a cloud hanging over me constantly. I envy you in a way- you know, to some extent, how to eat meals without measuring, counting calories, or worrying about anything. Except for the ice cream, you can subconciously just EAT, and not worry about gaining weight- that i don't know how to do.

Now that you lay it all out, I understand the trouble it is to go on a diet. But its a catch-22: You don't diet b/c it's too much trouble and youre THAT much further from being slim. It could be tricky to start now, because of the moving and such, but you can always come up with more excuses- its best to just DO IT. Easier said then done, I know. But really, think about how much better it is to be at a healthier weight, and ask yourself WHY youre waiting?!

And really, if you wanted to get rid of the ice cream, talk to your husband. Explain the situation, explain how your health is worsening, and explain why you want to get rid of "trigger foods" in the house. It's his call, but Im willing to bet he can get rid of ice cream for a couple months, at least in the house! It won't hurt to talk to him...

I know its hard to start anything new, I completely understand (although mine is the opposite problem, it has similarities). But really, life is short, and there will always be another "moving houses" or "husband who likes ice cream". The trick is to just jump into it, and don't plan it too much. I know this prolly sounds weird- what i mean is, dont think about dieting and what will happen in the future. It'll always be hard work, it wont get easier, even if youre 100 yrs old. Your husband will always like ice cream, even if you gain 100 more lbs. Your health will only get worse- not better. IMO, what have you got to lose (pun not intended)? I say, just do it!

When and if you decide to start your diet, do try to write down what you eat, whether online or in a notebook somewhere. Even if it takes a while, losing weight will happen (esp. if you add a lil excersise). Make sure you talk to people about it- nobody can do it alone. This doesnt necessarily mean you need to go get a therapist (but if you feel like itll help, go right ahead!), but this means talk to the people around you- friends, family and most importantly, your husband. He can help you through it!

I'm sorry if this post is very..pushy.., but I'm just worried that you're not seeing the right things here, and that, in effect, you're hurting yourself! I'll understand if you get a lil angry, and I'm sorry again, but maybe, just maybe, could you really think about some of the things I said?
hugs
gg


Hi girl -

Well, OK...then I would like to be MORE like you - just not exactly! :D But let's put it this way - it's much better and healthier to be like you, and I think that most people who are slim, would just about have to be!! I mean, is it possible to be slim and not give a hoot what goes into their mouth?? I would assume that they would have to be aware of calories, MAYBE have an occasional dessert, fewer carbs, more fruits and veggies, be very aware of calories...and make all of this a lifestyle. The difference is, I know the way I should eat, and know I'm having too many calories...but the URGE to eat what I want is much stronger than the need to lose weight and to be healthy. It's about a nearly impossible to attain self-control. There is one main way that you and I are alike, however, which is being a bit compulsive in our eating, but in the complete opposite way. But then, I guess that's what makes them eating disorders, right?? :D I really would love to be more like you, and I should be, if I am to ever GET on a diet and STAY there. Then once I have lost the weight, I would have to be like you to maintain that weight. And then leave it at that...and what I mean by that is that...I seriously doubt I would keep losing. If I could just get to a healthy weight and be able to maintain it in a healthy way...oh, MY....it would be a dream come true!!!!!!!!! But sweetie, I have sooooooooooooooooooooooo far to go to get to that point. Ummmm, I will say this, to give you an idea.....I have more than 60 lbs to lose. You know what you had to go thru to lose 25 lbs....just imagine MORE than double that. At this point, it feels like it would take longer than I have the stamina to manage. It's like...I can NEVER do this...so why try????? You know what I mean? So, to "just do it"....well, do you see why this seems so monumental to me? It's like someone telling me to pick up a ten ton boulder...in my screwed up way of thinking, they are equally impossible. I'm hopeless, aren't I? But!! I am starting my diet tomorrow. I decided this yesterday when I first read your post (just didn't have time to answer it then) It gives me time to prepare and get the mindset. So, I'm "psyching" myself into this, the way atheletes have to prepare themselves for an event. I am going to give it my all...so we'll see how this goes!!

As for the ice cream, I just can't do that. It feels just wrong to suck my husband into my problem. Besides, ther are other things I like that I can't/shouldn't have, too. I can't get rid of it all - I must learn to have self-control, because if I don't, I will go right back to gaining the weight. X amount of pounds lost from now, when the ice cream goes back into the freezer, I will have had to learn by then that this is something, like many other things, that I will only be able to have once in a while, and in moderation. And that will also apply to many other foods. I have to change the way I think and the way I eat, if I am to have ANY success at this. And THAT will be the hard part. Sigh........ I am sooooo praying I can do this!!!!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

YAY! Congrats to you char! I'm so proud of you to at least decide that you're gonna give it your best shot!! If you want me to help you in ANY way(as much as i can obviously) just let me know!! Keep referring to things that motivate you (ie, this thread, for example)! AND if you slip once,whether a little or even majorly, don't give up!!! Just keep going!!

I understand your concerns about the ice cream. It really IS best to face your probs straight on, with the ice cream in the fridge. It'll be hard, yes, but I have the utmost faith in you, and I know you have the will to do it- you just need to keep yourself motivated!! Don't worry about how long it takes, just that you get more confident as you see that you can do it!

About the want to be "more like me". I kind of understand what you're getting at, but you kind of have it a lil wrong. There are many many slim people that don't even know what calories ARE, let alone count them. For example, my mom..she just eats- anytime, any place, anything, and she maintains a slim weight! To be slim, you really dont have to count carbs or fat or never have ice cream or eat only veggies and fruits. It's not just my mom either...most people do it! :D In fact, while I count calories, it's more just a comfort thing than another reason...and I don't really not have anything (minus oils lol). I have an ice cream cone every other day! And cookies or another sweet after every meal. Maintaining a healthy weight is done differently by everyone, but you too can have carbs and ice cream and things like that without worrying about your weight. The trick is like you said- moderation! Obviously you can't have a tub of ice cream, but you can have a cone once in a while (even every day, if you really wanted to- you could work it in!!). In fact, look at your hubby or son- they dont count calories do they??

I AM really proud of you for motivating yourself to go for it. I hope you succeed as well!! Hugssss
gg

YAY! Congrats to you char! I'm so proud of you to at least decide that you're gonna give it your best shot!! If you want me to help you in ANY way(as much as i can obviously) just let me know!! Keep referring to things that motivate you (ie, this thread, for example)! AND if you slip once,whether a little or even majorly, don't give up!!! Just keep going!!

I understand your concerns about the ice cream. It really IS best to face your probs straight on, with the ice cream in the fridge. It'll be hard, yes, but I have the utmost faith in you, and I know you have the will to do it- you just need to keep yourself motivated!! Don't worry about how long it takes, just that you get more confident as you see that you can do it!

About the want to be "more like me". I kind of understand what you're getting at, but you kind of have it a lil wrong. There are many many slim people that don't even know what calories ARE, let alone count them. For example, my mom..she just eats- anytime, any place, anything, and she maintains a slim weight! To be slim, you really dont have to count carbs or fat or never have ice cream or eat only veggies and fruits. It's not just my mom either...most people do it! :D In fact, while I count calories, it's more just a comfort thing than another reason...and I don't really not have anything (minus oils lol). I have an ice cream cone every other day! And cookies or another sweet after every meal. Maintaining a healthy weight is done differently by everyone, but you too can have carbs and ice cream and things like that without worrying about your weight. The trick is like you said- moderation! Obviously you can't have a tub of ice cream, but you can have a cone once in a while (even every day, if you really wanted to- you could work it in!!). In fact, look at your hubby or son- they dont count calories do they??

I AM really proud of you for motivating yourself to go for it. I hope you succeed as well!! Hugssss
gg


Hi gg!

Well, not sure congrats are in order yet...it's easy to get thru the daytime part - it's the nightime part that is my worst time!!! If only I had no appetite then, too - it would make everything sooooo much more simple. In fact, I wouldn't have a weight problem at all, if that were the case! I will be sooooo embarrassed if I fail...I'm wondering if I can even admit it! You are right with everything that you said - that even if I do fail, i should just keep going, and basically not to let a setback stop me. But when you keep failing, it just starts to feel so hopeless. And then I start feeling sooooo bad, and when I feel that bad, it just makes me want to eat to comfort myself!!! Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!! (Me, screaming. LOL)

See?? I can't even IMAGINE that people don't have to constantly watch what they eat to stay slim. Course, most people aren't like me to start with, and most people don't have a ruined metabolism, either, from probably at least 75 diets in my lifetime?? Isn't that awful??!! So, I would have to be very careful. All of my diets in the past, whenever I wiuld lose a lot of weight, i would say, "THIS time I will NOT gain it back!!!" but I always did. Any wonder why I think I'm hopeless? Even if I do take of...er...all the weight I want to, what are the chances that I will KEEP it off?? Slim to none (pardon the pun. LOL) I would need a padlock for my mouth!! :D I will have to learn how to do this, and I will also have to learn how to get over my need for a big bowl of ice cream at night. But I think I told you about my all or nothing attitude. if I can't have what I want, better not to have any at all. Isn't that a shame? But it's like an addiction. Grrrrrrrr!! Well, let's just hope I can manage the first part first - then I'll worry about maintaining my weight later. LOL I wish that's all I had to worry about now!!

You never talk about yourself!! How are you doing? Are you still maintaining? Anything you want to say and get off your chest? I feel that this is all about me and that makes me feel bad. You are important, too!! I have a big heart and I care about you, you know!!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Well I still say congrats are in order because youre trying, and you intend to keep going even if the ice cream takes over tonight (or any other night). Im pulling for you and DONT be embarrased to say if you have concerns or bad nights!!

As for me, well, I still am doing alright (I say that because I still count calories, so im not GREAT lol). Still maintaining and stuff. Concerns? My birthday is on Sunday, which means parties (2 of them- friends and family). Im having friends sleep over friday-saturday, which means dinner and breakfast will be eating with company (No problems really with that- I know what's for dinner and breakfast, and I've had both with no probs). With my family party, my mom has planned to make salmon and rice and salad for adults, plus order gourmet veggie pizza, and then the kids get a party sized pizza. I plan to have 3 slices veggie pizza- the pizza isnt from a chain, so I can't count the calories, I can only estimate. I started a thread in another forum asking for advice on how many, and some said WAY over what I thought, and my old dietician (we still keep in touch, just as friends) and another person said under what I thought. So bascially, I think I'll stick to what I originally thought. I've had the pizza before, but it's still hard everytime because I don't know the calories.

Cake is another thing- for my friends' party, I'm going to make cupcakes, so its portion sized and easy. For my family party, my mom said I can't make my own cake because "it's my birthday"..which makes sense, but I like it more if i make it!! lol...We might just buy a cake, or maybe I'll just watch her make it, and help a wee bit...but i might just not end up having it altogether! I have to prep myself and get into the right mindset for having cake and not caring (happens once in a blue moon).

Yup, so those arre the extent of my worries right now...nothing really important..kind of dumb really lol, but you asked, so I tell! :D Hope everything's grrrrrrrreat with you too!
ggggg

Well I still say congrats are in order because youre trying, and you intend to keep going even if the ice cream takes over tonight (or any other night). Im pulling for you and DONT be embarrased to say if you have concerns or bad nights!!

As for me, well, I still am doing alright (I say that because I still count calories, so im not GREAT lol). Still maintaining and stuff. Concerns? My birthday is on Sunday, which means parties (2 of them- friends and family). Im having friends sleep over friday-saturday, which means dinner and breakfast will be eating with company (No problems really with that- I know what's for dinner and breakfast, and I've had both with no probs). With my family party, my mom has planned to make salmon and rice and salad for adults, plus order gourmet veggie pizza, and then the kids get a party sized pizza. I plan to have 3 slices veggie pizza- the pizza isnt from a chain, so I can't count the calories, I can only estimate. I started a thread in another forum asking for advice on how many, and some said WAY over what I thought, and my old dietician (we still keep in touch, just as friends) and another person said under what I thought. So bascially, I think I'll stick to what I originally thought. I've had the pizza before, but it's still hard everytime because I don't know the calories.

Cake is another thing- for my friends' party, I'm going to make cupcakes, so its portion sized and easy. For my family party, my mom said I can't make my own cake because "it's my birthday"..which makes sense, but I like it more if i make it!! lol...We might just buy a cake, or maybe I'll just watch her make it, and help a wee bit...but i might just not end up having it altogether! I have to prep myself and get into the right mindset for having cake and not caring (happens once in a blue moon).

Yup, so those arre the extent of my worries right now...nothing really important..kind of dumb really lol, but you asked, so I tell! :D Hope everything's grrrrrrrreat with you too!
ggggg


Hi gg!

Welp, I'm embarrassed and I just knew this would happen. I blew it, I'm upset, so.....I need just a bit of time to NOT be upset anymore...so for now I'm going to concentrate on YOU. Because YOU are not hopeless and I AM.

Early HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! :bouncing: I know you will do fine because you have been great all this time!! I sooo understand why you need to count calories. I've thought aboutit and I actually do think it's a good idea..that is, UNLESS you start getting too obssessed in the direction of allowing yourself FEWER calories, and you start losing weight...and then end up right back where you started, you know?? To maintain a weight is a good thing - it'll prevent you from getting panicky if you gain a pound or 2, because I know that will worry you, and if it does, then some of the old thought patterns will present themselves. As for the pizza, I think you can ,make a good guesstimate, in general. I know calorie counter books have something like "a 3 inch wedge", or something like that. So at least you will have a good idea. You know, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this info weren't on the net. So much is!!! "calories in pizza" I would try, but then, I think of the dumbest things to type in "search". :D Believe it or not, I only just learned the computer 18 months ago!!! LOL

Re the cake, just a thoought - I don't know if you or your mom use cake mixes? Like, here, we have 2 or 3 different brands and all different types of cakes. Well, they always call for I THINK it's half a cup of cooking oil...ohhhhh, so many calories!!! Do you know what I do instead? Instead of the oil, I use about 3/4 cup of applesauce!! Works no matter what flavor of cake, and you can't tell the difference!! No applesauce taste, and it moisturizes the cake the same way oil does. So, just a thought if you'd like to try it sometime! And no matter what you do, I see no reason why you need to forfeit cake altogether - how many times does your BD come around???? If you are really worried, all you have to do is eat a bit less of other things, as I'm sure you already know. All in all, I think you are doing wonderfully and I couldn't be prouder of you!!! By the way, speaking of pizza, veggie pizza is the only type we have - can't stand all that greasy sausage, pepperoni, etc. YUCK. So we always get black olives, grn. pepper, mushroom and tomatoes, on cheese of course. Yum! Oh, I need to STOP talking about food!!! My mortal enemy!!!! :-(

Anyway, I'm a bit down about my failures, soooo......take care!!

Hugs!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

YOU'RE NOT HOPELESS!!! No matter how many times you fail and try again and fail, you arent hopeless!!! Things take time-especially big changes. Don't give up n your diet, just keep going like you didnt fail, and one night youll just be able to skip the ice cream. Don't give up on yourself!!!You're the only one who physically will always always always be there for you- if you cant support yourself, nobody else can! Keep it up, you'll be a-ok in no time.

Thanks for the early greeting! We have cakes mixes and things too...the applesauce idea is a good one, cept sometimes my mom wont let me sub things like that cuz theyre not "normal". I'm sure everything will work out fiiiiine! I think ill just stick with my estimating cuz its worked for me in the past!
Sorry for the short post, but im rushing! next time itll be longer!
gg

YOU'RE NOT HOPELESS!!! No matter how many times you fail and try again and fail, you arent hopeless!!! Things take time-especially big changes. Don't give up n your diet, just keep going like you didnt fail, and one night youll just be able to skip the ice cream. Don't give up on yourself!!!You're the only one who physically will always always always be there for you- if you cant support yourself, nobody else can! Keep it up, you'll be a-ok in no time.

Thanks for the early greeting! We have cakes mixes and things too...the applesauce idea is a good one, cept sometimes my mom wont let me sub things like that cuz theyre not "normal". I'm sure everything will work out fiiiiine! I think ill just stick with my estimating cuz its worked for me in the past!
Sorry for the short post, but im rushing! next time itll be longer!
gg


Hi gg!

You're so sweet and thank you for the words of encouragement. Honestly, I feel like I let YOU down, because you've been trying so much to help me and being so encouraging...and what do I do???? Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! But you're right - and so I will try again tonight....sigh.......

Oh, the applesauce thing...many people just like to cut down on unnecessary fat. Just was something I thought of so that maybe you could have a BIT bigger a piece of cake. It's OK, tho!

Talk to you again soon.....

And Aur???????? If you're reading this????? HOW ARE YOU??????????????????


Hugs to you both!!!!!!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

I think I'll definately try the applesauce thing. You see, I went to go buy a vanilla cake mix, and they have the calories (for 1/12 cake mix, prepared). So i compared them all, and found them all to be about 200 Cals prepared, except for one, which i thought said 150. Of course, I get the 150. Then, looking at it at home, i realized that that wasn't the calories PREPARED. 1/12 PREPARED is 255 Calories!!!!! The highest one I've seen!!! I'm so soooooooooo mad at myself (partly for caring and for thus screwing things up). Now I'm definately using the applesauce trick, and I'm using light coolwhip and light jello (the recipe calls for jello on top..interesting isnt it?). I hope this isn't a sign of things to come! :s

Don't worry about me being encouraging- thats my job! (Speaking of which, I got hired for a part-time job yesterday!!) Keep trying and trying..dont give up!! And dont be hard on yourself!!!

I think I'll definately try the applesauce thing. You see, I went to go buy a vanilla cake mix, and they have the calories (for 1/12 cake mix, prepared). So i compared them all, and found them all to be about 200 Cals prepared, except for one, which i thought said 150. Of course, I get the 150. Then, looking at it at home, i realized that that wasn't the calories PREPARED. 1/12 PREPARED is 255 Calories!!!!! The highest one I've seen!!! I'm so soooooooooo mad at myself (partly for caring and for thus screwing things up). Now I'm definately using the applesauce trick, and I'm using light coolwhip and light jello (the recipe calls for jello on top..interesting isnt it?). I hope this isn't a sign of things to come! :s

Don't worry about me being encouraging- thats my job! (Speaking of which, I got hired for a part-time job yesterday!!) Keep trying and trying..dont give up!! And dont be hard on yourself!!!


HI gg!!

Nahhh, don't get mad at yourself for caring about the cake mix thing - I really do understand why you need to be this way - If I were more like you, and you were a bit more like me LOL we would be a normal person. As for the applesause, don't think of it as a trick, something that you must do for sake of maintaining your weight, etc. I look at it as just, quite simply, healthier! Who needs all that OIL???? EWWWWW! Just completely empty calories...and is there anything more calorie-dense than pure oil?? I imagine you're getting very excited about all your birthday celebrations by now. I am hoping you will have a terrific birthday weekend!!

Heyyy, that's great about getting hired for the part time job!! What will you be doing?

Talk to you when you have time!

Hugs!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Ironically enough, I will be working in the bakery section of a grocery store! When my brother heard he asked why everything I do relates to food- I didn't apply for that reason! lol I applied b.c the pay is great!!

While I am excited that it will be my bday, I'm actually getting really really stressed out about the parties (friends party and family party) and what I'm going to eat and how i've got so much to do in the next couple days. When my friends are over I always make an enormous effort to look "normal"- that is, eat what they eat, do what they do, etc. So I can't have a diet coke when they all have regular coke. We're having burgers, hot dogs and fries for dinner, and cupcakes instead of bday cake. The burgers I'm a-ok with, and I've had them before. I plan to not have fries or a drink, just the burger with dressings and maybe some pickles on the side. hopefully that'll be "normal" enough for them not to say anything...

Today I became super stressed about these cupcakes. I never do well making food for myself because I always try to find ways to minimize the cals or something. I used the applesauce, which seemed to work fine. But then when I tried filling the cups, I couldn't get 24 out of the batter (and the box says it'll make 24)!! And I knew that meant more calories per cupcake, so I scooped and refilled and moved around batter to make 23 cupcakes, at which point the batter was only about filled 1/4 of the cups. When I popped them in the oven, I was worried that they wouldn't rise to a good size and that my mom/dad/friends would comment on them and accuse me of something. So I tried my "muffin-rise trick"- When you first put them in the oven, turn the heat upfor a couple minutes, then turn it back down to regular temp- the initial blast of heat will make them rise quickly. After a couple minutes I began to smell burning. great. I look in the oven to find a couple tops burnt...I ended up salvaging the rest, and they actually turned out fine. When I was pouring jello over the cakes, I thought they might tast really weird b/c I've never heard of pouring jello over them (as the recipe says to). So then I got worried that again they would taste weird, on top on the burnt-ness of some.

In the end, I got my dad to try one and he liked them, so I frosted them with light coolwhip and decorated them carefully (well the first few I measured, the rest look better but aren't measured..guess which ones I'm eating..). On top of that mess, I promised my mom I would clean up the house a bit, cuz she couldnt last night. I'm just stressing baout my eating tomorrow (my friends party) and the morning after (its a sleepover). For breakfast we're having Eggo's, syrup/icecream/coolwhip and strawberries. I really want to have the coolwhip and strawberries, but I would prefer to measure my coolwhip and strawberries, and I cant so I'm going to have to approximate (which always kinda freaks me out).

Then my family party... I'm not having much during the day to eat so I;ll feel more comfy eating later. I've decided on 2-3 pieces of pizza (depending on how others eat...what do you think is more normal? 2 or 3?) and 1/14 of an angel food cake, iced with a whipped topping. My mom is making the cake (due to my cupcake fiasco) and she is going to put 14 sliced strawberries around the rim of the cake, so each strawberry is one slice of the cake.

I know its really bad, but lately I've been eating way less (1200-1500 Cals). I had to force myself to have lunch because I just wasnt hungry and didnt want to eat. I want to eat to hunger, so I can kind of re-develop the full and hungry signals that I previously ignored so well. But I find I'm not hungry at all after breakfast (even before it, sometimes). I don't know if I should force myself to have the food so the calories add up properly, or just eat small meals because I have to eat something? I know I've felt hunger, so I find it hard to believe that it's just a simple matter of not knowing what hunger feels like.

As much as I like my birthday, it's also a major stress period, because it's one meal after another that I can't do what I like (measure, count cals, etc). It's also very focused on ME, so I can't exactly just NOT have cake or something, like I could at my brother's party.

How are you doing!? Probably better than I am...how did yesterday night/tonight go? Hope you're doing great and are happy happy!!
Hugs
GG

Ironically enough, I will be working in the bakery section of a grocery store! When my brother heard he asked why everything I do relates to food- I didn't apply for that reason! lol I applied b.c the pay is great!!

While I am excited that it will be my bday, I'm actually getting really really stressed out about the parties (friends party and family party) and what I'm going to eat and how i've got so much to do in the next couple days. When my friends are over I always make an enormous effort to look "normal"- that is, eat what they eat, do what they do, etc. So I can't have a diet coke when they all have regular coke. We're having burgers, hot dogs and fries for dinner, and cupcakes instead of bday cake. The burgers I'm a-ok with, and I've had them before. I plan to not have fries or a drink, just the burger with dressings and maybe some pickles on the side. hopefully that'll be "normal" enough for them not to say anything...

Today I became super stressed about these cupcakes. I never do well making food for myself because I always try to find ways to minimize the cals or something. I used the applesauce, which seemed to work fine. But then when I tried filling the cups, I couldn't get 24 out of the batter (and the box says it'll make 24)!! And I knew that meant more calories per cupcake, so I scooped and refilled and moved around batter to make 23 cupcakes, at which point the batter was only about filled 1/4 of the cups. When I popped them in the oven, I was worried that they wouldn't rise to a good size and that my mom/dad/friends would comment on them and accuse me of something. So I tried my "muffin-rise trick"- When you first put them in the oven, turn the heat upfor a couple minutes, then turn it back down to regular temp- the initial blast of heat will make them rise quickly. After a couple minutes I began to smell burning. great. I look in the oven to find a couple tops burnt...I ended up salvaging the rest, and they actually turned out fine. When I was pouring jello over the cakes, I thought they might tast really weird b/c I've never heard of pouring jello over them (as the recipe says to). So then I got worried that again they would taste weird, on top on the burnt-ness of some.

In the end, I got my dad to try one and he liked them, so I frosted them with light coolwhip and decorated them carefully (well the first few I measured, the rest look better but aren't measured..guess which ones I'm eating..). On top of that mess, I promised my mom I would clean up the house a bit, cuz she couldnt last night. I'm just stressing baout my eating tomorrow (my friends party) and the morning after (its a sleepover). For breakfast we're having Eggo's, syrup/icecream/coolwhip and strawberries. I really want to have the coolwhip and strawberries, but I would prefer to measure my coolwhip and strawberries, and I cant so I'm going to have to approximate (which always kinda freaks me out).

Then my family party... I'm not having much during the day to eat so I;ll feel more comfy eating later. I've decided on 2-3 pieces of pizza (depending on how others eat...what do you think is more normal? 2 or 3?) and 1/14 of an angel food cake, iced with a whipped topping. My mom is making the cake (due to my cupcake fiasco) and she is going to put 14 sliced strawberries around the rim of the cake, so each strawberry is one slice of the cake.

I know its really bad, but lately I've been eating way less (1200-1500 Cals). I had to force myself to have lunch because I just wasnt hungry and didnt want to eat. I want to eat to hunger, so I can kind of re-develop the full and hungry signals that I previously ignored so well. But I find I'm not hungry at all after breakfast (even before it, sometimes). I don't know if I should force myself to have the food so the calories add up properly, or just eat small meals because I have to eat something? I know I've felt hunger, so I find it hard to believe that it's just a simple matter of not knowing what hunger feels like.

As much as I like my birthday, it's also a major stress period, because it's one meal after another that I can't do what I like (measure, count cals, etc). It's also very focused on ME, so I can't exactly just NOT have cake or something, like I could at my brother's party.

How are you doing!? Probably better than I am...how did yesterday night/tonight go? Hope you're doing great and are happy happy!!
Hugs
GG


Hi gg!

Awww, sweetie, I soooo hate to see you so stressed!!! OK, remember what we talked about before, those 2 weeks you're going to be at your friend's cottage? To just try to enjoy it and deal with "the scale" LOL when you get home? Well, this is ony 3 days, right? It's your birthday!! PLEASE just enjoy it all!! OK, OK, I know that is easier said than done - but think of it as a 3 day test for your 2 week vacation. You know, think of it as an experiment!! LOL OK, let's get serious now :) I have another idea - who among your invited friends is the one closest to your height and weight? Ok, watch what she eats and take your cues from her. She took 2 pieces of pizza? YOU take 2 pieces. Ooops! I just reread your post and you said you more or less do that - but there's nothing wrong with that! As for the hamburger, how about mustard onion and pickle - all 3 have virtually no calories, so you can have a few fries if you want so you can look "normal". And you can have a regular coke - if it's in a can, they're not going to know how much you drank out of it, right? Or, if it's poured in glasses, pour your diet coke in a glass while they're not looking. LOL You probably know and have thought of more tricks than I have by now. :D As for the breakfast, lite Cool Whip and strawberries are hardly any calories. Did you say that you used the applesauce in the cupcakes instead of oil? So just think how many calories you saved there! If you did use applesauce, your dad didn't notice, right? You really can't tell the difference as I have done this sooooo many times.

Sweetie, I believe you will do just fine. I want you to just enjoy your birthday celebrations and deal with "the scale" Mon. Even if you gain one lb (and I would be amazed!) what is one lb?? Even 2?? You are NOT going to magically sprout a big sign that says "I GAINED 2 POUNDS!!!!!!" No one will notice, least of all you. I do understand why you are getting a bit frazzled about the things that need to be done by tomorrow - so just concentrate on the chores and forget about food. You will be so busy burning off calories doing chores that you can "afford" to splurge some on your birthday!!

No, I am not happy, because I'm too worried about YOU!!!! :D On Mon. I want to hear that you had a terrific weekend and just enjoyed every minute...because that's the way it should be!!! And again, happy birthday!!!

Hugs!!!!!
Char :wave: Oh, and I did chuckle a bit about working in a bakery!! ;)

Thanks for your tips Char..you gave me some good ideas for what to do and how to go about it. The hamburger part Ive got figured out, as well as the cupcakes. Just settling those are good for me. As for breakfast, well, as a back-up I can always have syrup instead of coolwhip and strawberries.

At my family bday party, things will be a tad trickier. This is the party where I'm having pizza (pizza I don't know the calories of). The pizza is SO good..usually when i have it with my mom, I have 3 slices. But even my mom thinks thats a bit much..not like a binge, just more like something a guy would eat or something like that (mind you, my mom can eat like a bird). AND, not only that, the only people at the party who i'll be eating with are my cousins- one boy a yr older than me, and the rest are much younger. So there isnt really someone to mimic. I havent made up my mind to have 2 or 3. If I have 3, plus the cake, ill get to about 1300 Calories. Without the 3rd slice, I'll get to about 1050 Calories. I guess that's reason enough to have the 3rd slice-to get a "safe" amount of cals. But is it realistic to have 3 slices then a piece of cake? Im just not sure..

You're so right about gaining 2 lbs and how no one will notice. I will though!! But really, if I think about it I could lose those 2 lbs very quickly! I'm sure i'll have a super weekend, after I eat and get it over with lol Ill do my very very best to not care about stupid things lol

I edited this post a day later, just to say that I have a semi-breakthrough (i guess you could call it that?). I had a training session today, and was just going to have an orange for lunch afterwards. But the session ended early, and by 2 pm I was hungry (and I havent been hungry for lunch in a long time!!). So i figured it was best to have something, even if later, when I'm having a burger and cupcake tonight, I might regret it. I just can't write it down (i record and add up everything I eat on a dry erase board) because the total would be 1750 for the day, which is more than I've had these last couple days (I guess it's my prep for eating "normally" at the party and bracing myself for it). But I thought it's probably best to not ignore my hunger, esp. when I'm working towards eventually just not counting and eating by these signals! Hopefully I'll be hungry tonight for my burger and cupcake, cuz it would suck if i wasn't..

How are you REALLY!? :D
gg

Thanks for your tips Char..you gave me some good ideas for what to do and how to go about it. The hamburger part Ive got figured out, as well as the cupcakes. Just settling those are good for me. As for breakfast, well, as a back-up I can always have syrup instead of coolwhip and strawberries.

At my family bday party, things will be a tad trickier. This is the party where I'm having pizza (pizza I don't know the calories of). The pizza is SO good..usually when i have it with my mom, I have 3 slices. But even my mom thinks thats a bit much..not like a binge, just more like something a guy would eat or something like that (mind you, my mom can eat like a bird). AND, not only that, the only people at the party who i'll be eating with are my cousins- one boy a yr older than me, and the rest are much younger. So there isnt really someone to mimic. I havent made up my mind to have 2 or 3. If I have 3, plus the cake, ill get to about 1300 Calories. Without the 3rd slice, I'll get to about 1050 Calories. I guess that's reason enough to have the 3rd slice-to get a "safe" amount of cals. But is it realistic to have 3 slices then a piece of cake? Im just not sure..

You're so right about gaining 2 lbs and how no one will notice. I will though!! But really, if I think about it I could lose those 2 lbs very quickly! I'm sure i'll have a super weekend, after I eat and get it over with lol Ill do my very very best to not care about stupid things lol

I edited this post a day later, just to say that I have a semi-breakthrough (i guess you could call it that?). I had a training session today, and was just going to have an orange for lunch afterwards. But the session ended early, and by 2 pm I was hungry (and I havent been hungry for lunch in a long time!!). So i figured it was best to have something, even if later, when I'm having a burger and cupcake tonight, I might regret it. I just can't write it down (i record and add up everything I eat on a dry erase board) because the total would be 1750 for the day, which is more than I've had these last couple days (I guess it's my prep for eating "normally" at the party and bracing myself for it). But I thought it's probably best to not ignore my hunger, esp. when I'm working towards eventually just not counting and eating by these signals! Hopefully I'll be hungry tonight for my burger and cupcake, cuz it would suck if i wasn't..

How are you REALLY!? :D
gg


Hi gg!

You are probably having your party as I type this - it is 3;45pm where I live, Pacific Coast time, and I hope you are having fun!!!! And enjoying your friends and not worrying about what your eating!!!

I was surprised you said for the waffles you might have syrup instead of Cool Whip and strawberries, as syrup is worse. But you can have the calories, kiddo - never fear!! And have FOUR slices of pizza if you want because it's your birthday, sweetie. Please don't worry. You will be fine!! And that's the attitude - if you do gain a pound or 2 and feel you must lose it, then you know how to do it, and it sure won't take long. I know how difficult this is for you, all this calorie counting...but at least for special times in your life, enjoy them. At least do this for yourself OK??

Yes, I noted your edit because I read this yesterday but didn't have time to answer it until now. That is a BIG beakthrough, sweetie!! You're learning to trust what your body is telling you. I need to do more of that myself!!! Like the icecream - I'm never REALLY hungry when I have it...I just WANT it, and NEED it. Sigh.......... Really disordered, right???? But I AM proud of you!!! And remember, it REALLY isn't good to skip meals because it slows down your metabolism. So, you did good!!!

I will be anxious to know how everything went and I am sooooo hoping you will have stress-free celebrations, and just ENJOY!!!!!!!

Hugs!!!!!!!!
Char :wave:

Hey char!

Well one party is over and done with! I/We had so much fun!! Everything went really well, all the food worked out perfectly, and I couldn't have asked for better!

Tomorrow is my family party. It's supposed to be just a small party, just a couple relatives. But, based on a couple clues that I picked up on, I think it's going to be a huge surprise party. And I feel SO SO bad and guilty that I know! I love surprises and hate that I ruined this for myself. I dont know what I should do or say or act or whatttttt. Argh! Why did I have to pick up on these things!!!!????

Anyways I'm doing great here, can't wait for my bday tomorrow (although i ruined everything..) Hows is everything with YOU!?
gg

Hey char!

Well one party is over and done with! I/We had so much fun!! Everything went really well, all the food worked out perfectly, and I couldn't have asked for better!

Tomorrow is my family party. It's supposed to be just a small party, just a couple relatives. But, based on a couple clues that I picked up on, I think it's going to be a huge surprise party. And I feel SO SO bad and guilty that I know! I love surprises and hate that I ruined this for myself. I dont know what I should do or say or act or whatttttt. Argh! Why did I have to pick up on these things!!!!????

Anyways I'm doing great here, can't wait for my bday tomorrow (although i ruined everything..) Hows is everything with YOU!?
gg



Hi gg!!

I am sooooooo happy that your birthday was a smashing success!! My prayers have been answered!! My day has been made!! :D

So, no counting calories or worrying then? I am positively delighted. I knew you could do it!!! Yeaaaaa, gg!!!!!!

Awww, that's a shame you ruined your surprise, that is IF you're right. You might not be, so, don't set yourself up for disappointment, just in case, you know? But if you ARE right, I know you'll put on a great act of being surprised, because if they did plan this huge surprise, well, you weren't supposed to know...so you need to act like you don't know, or so I think anyway???

I am just so happy for you! So have another great day tomorrow!! And one last time.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

HUGS!!!!
Char :wave:

I suffer from both bulimia and anorexia- it seems to be either all or nothing, and my bulimia kicks in at night, so I totally relate to the it's dark and therefore ok to eat thing. My really dumb suggestion here is to have frozen yogurt or sorbet instead of ice cream. There seem to be so many low cal alternatives to ice cream that you can have "him" and "hers" in the freezer. Top the frozen yogurt or sorbet with a small handful of granola, or some blueberries and it will become a healthy habit that is nutritious but still the frozen scoopable goodness that we all crave at times.


-tt-

I suffer from both bulimia and anorexia- it seems to be either all or nothing, and my bulimia kicks in at night, so I totally relate to the it's dark and therefore ok to eat thing. My really dumb suggestion here is to have frozen yogurt or sorbet instead of ice cream. There seem to be so many low cal alternatives to ice cream that you can have "him" and "hers" in the freezer. Top the frozen yogurt or sorbet with a small handful of granola, or some blueberries and it will become a healthy habit that is nutritious but still the frozen scoopable goodness that we all crave at times.


-tt-



Hi TT!!

First off, let me just say that there is no such thing as a dumb suggestion. Anyone who cares enough to post to someone with something they think might help...well, I most certainly am very appreciative!! Thing is...I wish it were that simple for me. I am not a substituter - it's an addiction for ice cream with chocolate on it, and I'm a choc addict, too. Sigh........ I have tried frozen yogurt, and in a word....BLECHHH!! LOL Sorry, I am pretty far gone and I just don't know how to stop. I do like sherbet, tho.....hmmmm, OK. That's do-able......OK!! I will give that a try. I used to love it as a kid, just sort of outgrew it, I guess...but, yes...I do believe I will give that a try!! And see how long it takes to dash to the store for a fix. :D You're so kind to think of this and I really appreciate it!

I am soooo sorry about your anorexia and bulemia. See, I can relate to the "all or nothing" mindset, and I believe I've said that here before. Ice cream and chocolate has been "it" for sooooo long, I'm not even sure if it's more a really bad habit, or if I absolutely require it. Oh, I do require it...but why?? Hmmm, I need to ponder this more......

So how are you doing?? I am always more interested in everyone else more than myself, so please come back and post sometime, OK? And thank you again!

Hugs!
Char :wave:

never mind :)

chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! How are ya (and everyone else too!)??

My bday yesterday was so much fun! My cousin took me to a movie, and when we came back I was surprised with almost all my relatives at my house- it was a huge (semi surprise) party! It was so much fun (everything was pink! yay!)!There was a ton of food, but all food that my mom and i had previously agreed on (i thought it was supposed to be just a small family party). AND heres the best part--- I had FOUR slices of pizza and TWO slices of angel food cake!!! (Ok, so I had virtually nothing all day before the party, but I also didn't NEED to have so much! I WAS hungry after 3 slices, and the cake was just so good)! It was so much fun, the whole day was!

How are you doing?

chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! How are ya (and everyone else too!)??

My bday yesterday was so much fun! My cousin took me to a movie, and when we came back I was surprised with almost all my relatives at my house- it was a huge (semi surprise) party! It was so much fun (everything was pink! yay!)!There was a ton of food, but all food that my mom and i had previously agreed on (i thought it was supposed to be just a small family party). AND heres the best part--- I had FOUR slices of pizza and TWO slices of angel food cake!!! (Ok, so I had virtually nothing all day before the party, but I also didn't NEED to have so much! I WAS hungry after 3 slices, and the cake was just so good)! It was so much fun, the whole day was!

How are you doing?



GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! :)

I am positively grinning from ear to ear!! See?? :D I am sooooo happy for you, sweetie! WOW!!! FOUR :eek: slices of pizza and 2 slices of cake???? I am soooooo impressed and just can hardly believe it, but I am so happy for you, I really and truly am. And what a wonderful surprise to have all of your relatives there. I just know how happy and excited you were....and I'm happier still that you didn't let your ed ruin your parties. This is that way it should be, do you see? We can't let something rule us day after day, as that just ruins our lives - think how spoiled these parties would have been if all you were doing was obsessing about calories, weight, etc. I believe that this is a major breakthrough for you and I jusy couldn't possibly be happier for you!! But now I've forgotten - how old are you now?? Sorry!!

Me??? I am hopeless and I don't want to spoil your delight right now. So do you start the new job today? I hope everything will go perfectly!

HUGS!!!!!!
Char :wave:

never mind :)


Hey you!!
How are things going?? Missed you, kiddo!!

Hugs!!
Char :wave:

It was my Sweet Sixteenth yesterday!! (are we allowed to give out ages?)

And I start work tomorrow for the first time (its just a part time job). I'm very excited!

You're spoiling my delight by NOT telling me how you are silly :p! You can't just forget that you're on this board for a reason other than helping others!! Are you still dieting (or trying to?) How's that working out (I assume not well b/c you didnt want to tell me..but that OK!! Just keep trying!!)

Hi Char- Im okay. I missed you too. I talkied about myself on the thread "worried about your ed Aurora" if you want to read that. Its not that interesting but Aurora is like you and insists on everyone else talking about themselves. So how are you? I wont let you get away with not talking about yourself. Hows the diet going? Just keep trying. You can do it even if you only eat a little bit less, in the long run that can equate to alot of weight loss. Don't feel like it is an impossible feat. My dad lost 80 pounds when I was in middle school and has only gained a fraction of that back and its mostly muscle that he has gained.

Hi girlygirly11, i don't think Ive talked to you before so its great to meet you. Thanks for giving Char so much good advice while Ive been gone. You are really very smart. Now, HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN that is so exciting. Ill be sixteen in November so that is extra cool that we are similar ages. Congratulations on your eating success at your parties. That is really awesome. Im very proud of you.

Love,
Louisa

It was my Sweet Sixteenth yesterday!! (are we allowed to give out ages?)

And I start work tomorrow for the first time (its just a part time job). I'm very excited!

You're spoiling my delight by NOT telling me how you are silly :p! You can't just forget that you're on this board for a reason other than helping others!! Are you still dieting (or trying to?) How's that working out (I assume not well b/c you didnt want to tell me..but that OK!! Just keep trying!!)


Hiya GG!!

Thumbs up and good luck on the start of your job tomorrow!!! Being that you're 16, is this then you're first job...well, I mean, other than babysitting or something like that. Your 1st PAYCHECK-type, it what I meant. Ironically enough, other than babysitting, MY first job was also at a bakery when I was 16! Me!! El chubbo!!! Just what I needed...to be surrounded by temptation for 2 hours a night, Mon - Fri., and 5 hours on Sat. (Until you were 18, you could only work 15 hours a week - not sure if that's changed, the Child Labor Laws here.) Anyway, I was told I could eat whatever I wanted!!!! LOL!!!!!! So there you are, it's 4pm, you haven't eaten since noon, you walk 6 blocks to get to the job, and by the time you get there, you walk in, and all those WONDERFUL aromas...... :bouncing: LOL Talk about a kid in a candy store!! I always had a brownie, and I SWORE that was all I'd have.......well, then....OK, just ONE more confection - THAT'S IT!!!!!! Oh, my.....good thing I had a 6 block walk home. Dinner was at 6:30, and my mother couldn't understand why I had no appetite. Welp, didn't take long for the uniform to start getting a bit snug. :D So, that was the end of that - no more snacking. Instead, I brought a brownie home for after dinner. I had a bit more self-control in those days. Now, I have none..........

......And that, my dear, is why I don't like to talk about myself. It is entirely too embarrassing. If I told everything on these Boards of how I keep failing and failing and failing, everyone would think I'm disgusting and no one would talk to me anymore.

OK, I will tell you something else, as long as I'm talking for a bit about me, and then I won't talk about me again for a long time. If ever. I just get so embarra