I am just a partially treated BiPolar due to insurance. (Only on an antidepressant).

It seems that when most people experience mania, they are hyper and feel really wonderful. I wish. My episodes make me cry, scream at times, want to kick things, and do irrational things such as searching my husbands e-mail, become paranoid, have racing thoughts, etc. When I was a teenager, I kicked holes through doors and walls.


Does anyone else have this type of mania? I wish I had the "hyper" kind instead. :/

Also, have any women out there noticed that hormones have triggered their mania? My last two episodes occurred during ovulation and now right before aunt flo.

Anyone interested, please respond :)

I am just a partially treated BiPolar due to insurance. (Only on an antidepressant).

It seems that when most people experience mania, they are hyper and feel really wonderful. I wish. My episodes make me cry, scream at times, want to kick things, and do irrational things such as searching my husbands e-mail, become paranoid, have racing thoughts, etc. When I was a teenager, I kicked holes through doors and walls.


Does anyone else have this type of mania? I wish I had the "hyper" kind instead. :/

Also, have any women out there noticed that hormones have triggered their mania? My last two episodes occurred during ovulation and now right before aunt flo.

Anyone interested, please respond :)

I'm recently diagnosed bi-polar 2 after three years of treatment on an SSRI for depression (which I no longer take) and I'm still trying to understand this disorder, especially the mania/hypomania. I don't feel good or wonderful at all. I feel like you described. I have racing thoughts, I cry, I want to throw and kick things, including myself. I don't understand this part of the disorder at all. I never feel dellusional, have feelings of grandeur or feel paranoid. Mostly I either feel like I'm going crazy or I'm depressed. I don't get it.
I can't answer you about the hormones because I went through menopause almost two years ago (which they tell me is what helped trigger the bp2). I can tell you that my meno symptoms were magnified 100 x's.
I hope someone answers you because this confuses me too.

Bluelady

Yes, it is confusing. I wish they'd do more research on mental disorders and I wish society would see them as real diseases! The brain is the most important organ of the body, but not many take it seriously!

Luckily, I'm only having manic episodes once or twice a month. I decided to put them on a calendar and see if there's a pattern! Gotta do my own research.


Paula

i think hormones have a huge impact on bp......before i was diagnosed as bipolar, it was like lock work. id be depressed for the week before and week of my period, then id be fine for two weeks, then id be depressed.....like severly depressed, couldnt get out of bed, couldnt eat, wanted to die depressed. im now on birth control, which seems to be helping keep my hormones at an even level. i think the lamictal is pretty good too........be very wary of antidepressents.

I need antidepressants. I can't survive without them, however, when I finally get pregnant, I'll have to go off. It makes me wonder how many of us women are mis-diagnosed and aren't really bipolar. Hormones can really affect some of us.
When I'm depressed, I want to eat. I wish had loss of appetite!! (On a diet now, though!)

"I wish they'd do more research on mental disorders and I wish society would see them as real diseases! The brain is the most important organ of the body, but not many take it seriously!"

Hey PaulaRoet,
Oh my, they do HUGE amounts of research on neurological disorders, including mental diseases. I am currently entering this field myself actually. But I agree, it's VERY confusing. And I do know that MOST of society sees mental illness as something someone brings onto to themselves, and that they can overcome it easily. It's very sad when people do not recognize the real cause. However, SO many people assume they must something wrong with them and immediately self diagnosis depression, mania, etc. And thats where most of society sees the major problems- these people who whine and complain about regular ups and downs and think the world would look better through paxil coloured glasses.

Oh I just realized how much I got off track here...sorry :).

My hyper are manias, I LOVE MYSELF so much on them. I wish I was like that all the time. I probably wouldn't be alive though. Ah well. They are great times. I seem to be usually semi depressed the week of aunt flo, and a few days before. I hate it. Mainia forever ;).

blue

What meds are you on?

Blue -- I'm in Lexapro, only. My insurance doesn't cover psychiatry and my MD would only give me the Lexapro. My husband just has to deal with my swings about twice a month.

I also think that changing hormones in my daughter was the key to the on set of BP. It all happenened about the same time but it was also combined when my mom got sick with cancer and died just a month later. :(

Twisted, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. :( It makes me wonder if your daughter and some of us are misdiagnosed. Your daughter's situation sounds circumstantial.
I hope your daughter is recovering well.

Thanks Paula.

I do think that she has the right dx the more I read about BP. She is doing much better now that she is balanced on her meds. Do you feel that you are misdiagnosed?

Paula...nice to meet you.

I am new to bi-polar, just dx today. But I do understand the kind of mania you are talking about. I get that kind without as much anger I am just aggitated. I will fill you in more about the hormones thing when I have a few months of this under my belt.

Frazz

Twisted, not really, because I do have swings. I just can't get the correct medication until my husband gets his insurance AND until I have a baby. (Been trying to conceive for 1.5 years). :(

the wife can have some real bad ones (mania's). She spends and spends until there is nothing left to spend. Also, she will see things and have the racing thoughts. there is more but i need the time to allow all of them to come forth.

Frazz, sorry to hear about the diagnosis. What prompted you to finally get help? I feel so hopeless right now. Without insurance, I have to suffer.

With one exception, I have ONLY had bad mania (or hypomania really in my case)previous to my treatment. I was extremely irritable, experienced rages, suffered from panic attacks, and had no patience with anyone. I didn't feel grandeur; I felt like an evil and/or incompetent person. This is one of the reasons it took so long for me to be diagnosed. I read all the literature about BP and thought, "this can't be me. I NEVER feel good!" After finally finding the right doctor for me, I learned that mania does NOT always feel like an emotional high. He explained that BP is more like having a "fast and slow" switch rather than "up and down." This also helped to explain why some days I just felt I could do nothing at all, eventhough I did not feel at all depressed. Since then, I have tried to explain it to others that way. It sounds a lot more accurate for a lot of us.

Steve,

The rages..ugh..I understand those. I don't have them all the time, but the few times a month I do are not fun. Emotional high...I wish!!!! (Not that I want to be bipolar, but being hyper is more fun than being outrageously angry!!!)

Also, have any women out there noticed that hormones have triggered their mania? My last two episodes occurred during ovulation and now right before aunt flo.



I find this as a very interesting comment! My period started right after I was hospitalized both times!!!!

banker0007,

Yes, that is interesting. I wonder how much research has been done on the relation between hormones and BiPolar syndrome. I think that either we're misdiagnosed, or the hormones trigger mania. Something to think about.

I had an episode yesterday and this is the week aunt flo is due.


Paula

My mania is a combination of both good and bad.

I get over ambitious - that feeling where you have so much to do and you're convinced you can do it all at once. And I also get major insomnia. So I stay up all night (9:45 am, still havent slept), trying to do about a billion and one things at once, and then I finally get to sleep at some rediculous time. And sleep for 4 hours max. Then I get up and I am EXTREMELY irritable, aggitated, weepy and full of energy. So I tend to snap full out on the smallest things, and break things and scream at things and hate everything. And I get frustrated because I have so much I want to do and can't do it all at once. I think a lot of mine has to do with the insomnia, because the lack of sleep probably contributes to the bad aspects of my mania. And the stress from trying to do everything at once, probably doesn't help any.

I had the opposite effect with my hormones, until I was put on birth control. I cycled down into a depressive state if I was in mania, the week before my period and became highly suicidal and depressed, slept/cried ALL the time and attempted suicide almost every time. I was then placed on a straight estrogen birth control pill and Im now cycling normally again. Every few months, not once a month for a week. I am almost wishing for a depressive episode now, because I need sleep

That sounds uncomfortable for you. I am thinking that some of you don't have bipolar. YOur just reacting the medication in a bad way. Such as feeling crazy and then feeling depressed. Mania is real extreme and sometimes simple hyperactivity with racing thoughts is misdiagnosed. I suggest NOT taking the psychiatrist's words as FACT. The Psychiatrist do something called an assessment and then another process in which they continue to gather more information about you very slowly because the first diagnosis is NOT fact based so never believe that it is fact based because I am telling for a fact how the Psychiatrists work. They will keep you on medicine even if you feel worse off on it ....a lot of them THINK inside of the BOX and believe that medicine is the cure all. A Cognitive behavioral specialist can help you get in touch with your intuition and mind and body to figure out if you really DO have bipolar or another disorder. Just to make sure because the pills could easily be making you feel crazy. It has been known to do that to people.

I know for me at least, the problem isn't mediication, because I had negative mania before I was treated (Depakote and Seroquel). Now I'm fine. :)

I experience that anger as well. As a matter of fact, it seems to be the dominate part of my illness lately. I get angry so quikly, about the stupidest stuff, like I build it up and create it in my mind. Then I blow up at my fiancee. We live together and I feel like my anger is destroying our relationship. For instance, I woke up this morning and for no good reason, starting milling over the small issues that could validate my being angry at him, then I just started snapping. I love him so much, I hate myself afterwards. I just wish I could stop the pattern, I get uncontrollably angry, lash out at him, he doesn't know what to do anymore, sometimes I am so mean to him he will cry, then I am overwhelmed with guilt so heavy I then break down and begin to cry hysterically.
I was diagnosed with Bi-polar as a teenager and was on Lithium/Paxil on and off for 4 or so years. I was eventually weened off of them and thought that I had a pretty good control over my life, but now I don't know. I was in a horrible relationship for a while and now I'm thinking that I misconstrued my mood swings and all that as symptoms of a bad relationship.
I'm just so scared to try any meds again, I don't want to go down that path, but I don't know if anything else will help. I did just start therapy again, but it doens't seem to be helping my outbursts. Sorry if I am just going on and on, but I was browsing the internet for info on natural remedies for bi-polar when I found this site, and when I found this thread, I couldn't believe it. It was like reading about myself, so I had to get this out.

Des

If you are making others feel miserable and you are feeling guilt over it, then it's obvious you need to do something. If you don't feel like going back on meds quite yet, then start seeing a therapist and he or she can help you decide if you should make an appointment with a psychiatrist to get on a mood stablizer, but there is no reason to continue to be unhappy. I too was on meds, then went off, but when it became obvious that I was having relationship problems and I was alienating my friends, I had to admit that I did, indeed, have a problem. After a ten year lapse, I went back on medication and have been happy since.