Hello,

Mu husband and I have been invited to the home of a new client for dinner. We do not know these people well at all, just starting the project. I have no idea what will be served and am worried about how to handle it. WHAT IF IT'S SOMETHING i SIMPLY CANNOT EAT?

Any advise is much appreciated.

Sandy

Dear Sandy,
I am not a diabetic but have family members who are.Is it possible for you or your husband to call a few days or more before your dinner date & inform them of your condition.If I were the host, I would feel terrible if I prepared food that was not able to be enjoyed by all.I can't imagine anyone feeling imposed upon or put out for accomadating a guest.Even if she is not sure what to prepare or feels uncomfortable maybe your dinner could be moved to a restaurant where everyone can choose for themselves.Good luck to you!

Sandy,

It happens to all of us diabetics from time to time--don't want to put any demands on a person you just don't know very well, but don't want to risk insulting them! If there is something you can't risk eating, explain that you are on a special diet, and should not eat this-and such, offer apologies to the hostess, move the offending item around the plate for a while as if you are eating a bite here or there, and that's it. If ythere is MORE than one thing, then you may have to 'fess up to your hostess! If they ask, ok, then offer the real truth about your diabetes. You may apologize for your limitations to your hostess, but never feel guilty for refusing food--it's YOUR health.

Michael
T1 since 1965

Hello,

Mu husband and I have been invited to the home of a new client for dinner. We do not know these people well at all, just starting the project. I have no idea what will be served and am worried about how to handle it. WHAT IF IT'S SOMETHING i SIMPLY CANNOT EAT?

Any advise is much appreciated.

Sandy

Hi Sandy, I understand your worry, but you need to address the situation in advance. Think about if the tables were turned - if you received such a call would you be put off because someone told you they are on a restricted diet? Most people would not be put off at all!

I just posted about this in the thread "Controlling without meds is possible" but in summary, I have learned to get over this concern. When I am invited to someone's house I find out what is being served, and offer to bring my own dish (that I can heat in the microwave) if they don't want to worry about their menu. I know it seems like a silly thing to do, but nobody minds, really!

Now I will share a funny story... this was years ago, before I had diabetes or any diet restriction. Hubby and I were invited to one of his business associates home for a dinner party. There were going to be about 25-30 people. My husband was told they were serving ham, and he hates ham, so in an effort the get them to change the menu, he informed them that I was allergic to ham. Of course they did not change the menu, instead they made a special dish just for me. It was the most g*d-awful mysterious meat in a strange white sauce. My husband begged me not reveal that I could in fact eat ham, so I went along and suffered through it. And he, of course, got stuck eating ham anyway! Lets just say that after that night, he owed me a really nice dinner out!!! :D :D :D

I don't like to make special requests, even to family members. I just let them serve what they intended and have no problem. There is almost always some meat, vegetable and salad that suits me well. I might even eat a bit more of a carbohydrate that I usually eat little of. If the desert is something I don't eat, I can just skip it.

Personally, I think it's rude to make food requests as a diabetic. I can understand a life threatening allergy or something but not diabetes. I take my glucometer with my anytime I go out. If the meal is high in carbs, I eat and take insulin. If for some reason I forget my glucometer, I eat a small amount of the high carb things, a larger amount of the low carb things, eat when I get home if I am still hungry, etc.

I am one of those that believes that there is absolutely nothing that you can't have at least some of. Good luck

I am actually quite surprised that people consider it rude to make special dietary needs known. Especially in this day and age when so many people are on different diets and such. In fact, when I am the host I usually tell people what I am serving and ask them if it works for them!

I have always been deathly allergic to poultry so I am used to asking what is being served, since chicken is so popular. And I don't think I would ever make a special request, like asking someone to cook something for me... as I said, I would offer to bring my own dish. I just don't think there is anything wrong with us taking care of ourselves as we should.

What I think is rude is when people pressure you to eat something you don't want to eat. That happened to me a while back and I was so frustrated. Someone prepared a "diabetic dessert" which really was not, and I had already had my limitation of carbs for that meal.

MY 2-cents! I would eat the food that are on my list of foods and avoid the ones I can't have. I would never make a fuss about what's served, but I would avoid things that would caused me problems. I don't carry my insulin everywhere i go. I'm sure there will be something on the menu you can eat. Good luck.

When I am having people over for dinner, I make sure to ask people if they need anything special. I realize that not everyone will return the favor so I bring my own dish of something. I do this in one of two ways. Either I ask what I need to bring and bring up a dish. Or I just bring one that I like. When they ask, I simply tell them that I am a diabetic and make a habit of bringing a dish just in case. I stated before that I see nothing wrong with making a request for a life threatening allergy and such.

I too think it is very rude for people to pressure someone into eating something. Too much pressure and I simply tell them that I am a diabetic and don't want to eat it.

When I am having people over for dinner, I make sure to ask people if they need anything special. I realize that not everyone will return the favor so I bring my own dish of something. I do this in one of two ways. Either I ask what I need to bring and bring up a dish. Or I just bring one that I like. When they ask, I simply tell them that I am a diabetic and make a habit of bringing a dish just in case. I stated before that I see nothing wrong with making a request for a life threatening allergy and such.

I too think it is very rude for people to pressure someone into eating something. Too much pressure and I simply tell them that I am a diabetic and don't want to eat it.

That makes sense. And I think that "pot luck" dinners, where everyone brings something is such a good idea, because then EVERYONE can at least have one thing (whatever they brought)! We do this with family gatherings quite a bit.

The only other thing I add, is that I would never assume that there would be a meat, a veggie, etc... Often I have gone to a dinner where there is an ooy-gooy lasagna - not the easiest thing to pick apart.

Also, I asked my husband what he thought on this issue - I was really curious because he has a lot of clients where the relationship is a bit more "formal" and less "comfortable". He said he thinks it would be more rude to go to the dinner and not eat (or pick at and play with your food) without explanation. He felt that would make the hostess feel bad or perhaps wonder if guests did not like her cooking.