Hello everyone,
I am new here. I have had an eating disorder for about 8 years now. Let me tell you a little bit about myself, I was an overweight child and got teased as a child. So after high school I lost weight and then started laxatives to stay thin. I have done it all, laxatives, binge and purge, starvation. I have gone through a lot but some how learnt to control myself through prayer. I have a lot of faith. In the last year I have gotten so much better, I think my life is finally in a good place where I have some control and when I am in control of my life I can control my eating disorder. That's just me though.
Heres my question, how does everyone handle their eating around that time of the month? I had not gotten my period for the whole of last year but since about January I have been consistent about 31-35 days I do get it. I am dying to have children so I am happy to be getting it. But I struggle every month. The days prior I get extremely hungry, yesterday for example I ate at least 2000 calories, I tried purging but my fiancee was in the house and if he heard me he would be really sad and hurt. I get so hungry, I wake up in the middle of the night and eat, I try to eat enough during the day so as not to wake up but that doesn't help. I mean yesterday I ate like a pig and still woke up at 3:00 am and ate!
I just don't know how to handle it. I loose control, I hate myself for it especially after because I gain weight so fast. I don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about food, and how hungry I am. I hate this, I hate myself for not being normal. :o

ok, so my work day is almost over and to add to my hunger I have now had three sugar attackes. When I don't eat for hours I get really shacky and red and start to sweat like crazy. It's the scariest feeling ever, I hate it. And I have had three today at work. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Please?

Are you eating protein with your carbohydrates? Because eating complex carbs, protein, and fat with each meal will keep you full longer, take longer to digest, and keep your insulin level from spiking (which makes you hungry and causes you to gain weight). Eating sugary foods, white flour, etc. causes your blood sugar level to spike and makes you hungrier after it digests than before you ate anything!

You might want to find some information on complex carbs, or the ZonePerfect diet. It isn't a restrictive one, it talks about how balancing your meals of 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat keeps you full and your insulin steady. I have been doing that a while and it's wonderful!

If you don't eat sugary foods, or are already eating balanced meals, it might be cravings, which I get too (hence the bulemia) and I have no room to talk there! Hope that helps you some, God Bless!

~Ana

Hi Sumi, I'm new here too, just wanted to reply to your sugar attacks comments. I've suffered from anorexia for 6 years, bulimia for 3, and I've been in recovery for about 18 months now. I get sugar attacks too, I think they're something to do with hypoglycaemia, and I get them at least once a day at the moment and they are the worst feeling, I get shaky, sweaty, heat rash, black patches in my vision and a really weak feeling, like it's an effort just to sit up. It happens at work quite a lot if I've been in meetings or something and haven't eaten since breakfast (it normally kicks in about half eleven, midday) and it takes about an hour to feel ok again. Are you in recovery now? I have been kind of ok for about 18 months now, really it's ever since I've been with my boyfriend. He helps so much but only others who've been through it can really understand.

Does anyone know anything about long term side effects? I can't eat without getting bloated, but if I don't eat I feel sick and shaky. I've blacked out a couple of times and it's knocked me out for a couple of days. Any help, comments or advice would be great! xxx

I am the same. I never eat breakfast because if I do then I am hungry all day. But I usually get my sugar attack either mid morning or afternoon.
I also get bloated and have IBS as a result of my ED.
This week has been absolutely horrible. I have company staying with me and its making me miserable, not because I don't enjoy them but because I have no privacy. I am in recovery and have been doing well but I am so scared that I am going to relapse. I have gained weight and I am terrified that after they leave I am just going to go back to my old ways. Last night I cried myself to sleep cause I was so upset that I had to eat because they were all watching me.
I hate this, why can't I just be normal like everyone else?
Right now I am going through a weird phase, I just want to eat constantly, I am not even trying to be good. And I am not getting rid of it, and that's freaking me out even more. It's a vicious cycle that never ends.

I think everyone goes through phases - sometimes it's all kind of okay, sometimes it's just awful. I think the people around you can help or hinder recovery a lot. My boyfriend was away for 4 months and the whole time I just wanted to make myself sick, exercise for hours and starve myself because it was so hard having no control over the fact that he wasn't here with me. But he was so proud of me when he got home and I was actually able to say that I hadn't made myself sick once, even when my grandma died and there was no one there to help me. I hope you have someone like that in your life too. Some days are so hard, it's not easy having no privacy when you have IBS! Why does this have to happen to us, hey? It's the easiest thing in the world to relapse and the hardest thing to keep going, to keep eating day after day (without throwing up). I only found this message board today but already it helps to talk about these things. I want to get better but part of me still wants to be anorexic...sounds strange but I'm not ready to let go of it. I could never be happy as over a size 8. So I guess really it still has control of me. xxx

pms eating is simply the body preparing for pregenancy the body anticipates it every month whether sexully active or not. so not only does the body prepare to nourish offspring it has to nourish the mother too during the first months where most cannot eat enough due to the body adapting the body to pregenancy, (you know the nuesea and vomiting and lack of appetite during the first weeks that sort thing)

this is the body's way of storing up fluids and caloires for those times, even if you are not sexually active, second because you have had problems in the past with eating enough (famining) the body remembers that and is trying to get you to overeat to replace fat stores and to even store more than lost to prepare for future famines,

so the body has to not only adjust to possiblity of pregenancy it has to recover from past famines and prepare for future famines (due to past undereating or famines) to keep you alive and well protected from malnutrtion.

you are on the famine feast cycle (usually for many misidentified as eating disorder not to discount those truly having an eating disorder.)

the only way to stop those binges (2000 caloires is not a binge) 4000 maybe not 2000, the world health organization says 2100 is the minimum anyone should eat for good health. you have to go ahead and give in to your body's demands, I know it is scary it was for me, and I thought I had an eating disorder, which turns out I was just misinformed on what really causes a build up on the body of excess fat.

once I got off the famine feast cycle my pms eating went from 5 days to 7 days to 3 days on average where it seems hard to satiate the appetite. then my cravings switch to high quality foods and lower caloire without effort.

if you want to know more about famine feast cycle you can type that in the search as well as don't diet, adipose 101 that sorta thing, even type lose fat. or you can send me a message and I will try to explain it best I can.

RR take care.

I have to say that I don't really understand the relevance of what you're saying here...this is a message board for people with eating disorders and the vast majority of us know that we have eating disorders, not this famine feast thing you keep saying about and, without sounding rude, I don't appreciate someone telling me that they know better than me what my problem is. I think giving relevant advice is what this board is all about but potentially offending them by saying 'actually, you don't have an eating disorder, you are just on this famine feast cycle' isn't really helpful. I hope you understand why I'm saying this and you don't take it the wrong way but no one here is an expert, we're all going by our own experiences and that's why it's so helpful - you get someone else's point of view. Rather than trying to say 'this is the difinitive answer', just give us your opinion instead. Thanks! xxx