I've lost my life, somehow god decided that I don't deserve a life so I missed mine, now i'm forced to wait it out until I pass on.
All my life i've been unhappy and now i'm at an age(24yrs old) where there's no more hope. I used to post here 2 or 3 years ago when i thought there was hope but it clearly never panned out, i should have never even tried, what a waste, meds, therapy, all for nothing!!!

I've been cursed with this awful life where nothing goes right and i dont have any way of getting out of it. I just wish i could of been lead into a good life. I don't understand why I was choosen to have this screwed up life. Why wasn't I born into a good family with a good life and everything I need to succeed?

I'm fat, ugly, facially disfigured because of my dental problems, depressed, lonely, alone, i've never ever had a boyfriend or anyone, no friends since i was in middle school, none at all.

All i think about is the day when i wont be here anymore because ive already tried suicide and it didnt work, now im just waiting to go naturally.

Times like this I curse the internet that I cannot reach out and slap people like you out of their self pity. I am fat and ugly, I also never had a good childhood but I have never contemplated suicide for the simple reason that life is so precious to throw away. Are you worse of than the people lying in hospitals fighting for their lives.

If you are so tired of life it is simply because you have driven every one away with your self pitying trips where you chose to wallow in self inflicted sorrow. Get up and go out and see there is more to life than just good looks and a good upbringing. Happiness is truly a state of mind.

What I would suggest is that you get a purpose in life it could be as simple as getting a pet and taking care of it ( remember animals love unconditionally and do not pass judgements) or you could become a part of a cause and fight for it. Anything that will fill up the empty void in you. You would be amazed at what a purpose in life could do for you.

Also since you are felling like this I would suggest you get emergency psychiatry help to put you on the right track.

:wave:

gee bog if you could do that reach through the internet thing unemployment lines would swell up with shrinks who no longer could find employment - your advice about a pet was good and seeking help by way of professional was also good - but that opening was little rough if the original poster was looking for bit of encouragement in some way - you know people who feel lonely to begin with don't real respond well to getting slapped they just usually cry more than they have been and don't even try to protect themselves - they just think they deserve it... now I don't think the first poster deserves that - if she does not think of herself as attractive isn't it her place to learn to live with it like you have? I mean surely when you was younger you must have had some troubled times too - I think we all do at certain places in our lives - other wise why would there be so many mind altering substances legal and illegal to escape with? I would encourage the first poster to do something about yourself as much as possible - even if you have to out and get another job to pay for some plastic surgery if this helps your own concept of your self - because like bog kind of showed the world ain't going to care much if you roll over and don't do nothing for yourself in some way. at your age its not good to be waiting to pass on - you could be one of those that lives to be 88 - perhaps finding some meaning is hard for you but if you could put some time in working with mentally retarded or someone needing help - either as a job or every tuesday and thursday volunteer work it might help you get the focus off yourself and onto another human being.. Now I know you might not have much energy to do this being depressed and all but if you just make yourself try something different its a start - you never know what those kinds of things will lead too - I can't really tell if your full blown clinically depressed or suffering with major depression or if your just tired of your own good self because you don't see any hope in any direction - but your not alone and depending on the size of your city you might find self help groups to help cope - if you have no friends go to a church - any church will do - you don't have to be real religious to do that god don't care that much if you show up just because your lonely and not religious - he might even like that better than pretending - and usually church goers are obligated to be nice to you and make you feel good for being there - especially the pentacostal churchs and the baptists churchs - sometimes they get to dancing and its almost like a mosh pit - (like a primitive form of body slamming) and there is a lot of back slapping and sometimes it just feels real good to be there - because you know what god don't care what you look like he loves you just as much as anyone else.. don't be afraid to post if your down and out there are many of us here just like that -

hi,

i would just like to give you something you can look forward too! something encouraging. let me just ask you, dosent it seem unfair how people just live their lives, and there are so mant pains that go along with it then we die. and if their is a god why isnt he doing something about it?
well i want to tell you something very valueble. something that is going to happen very soon in the future. The bible speeks of a time when God will get rid of all these bad things we see in the world, we will learn to love one another and God will fix all our physical problems that we dont like about our selves. God also has a name. This he tells us in the bible. And he also requires something of us if we want to be alive in this future promise. Not very many people are interested in finding out what God requires of us because life these days are so busy and stressful. But if the promise God gives is everlasting life in a peaceful world whats do we have to loose?

It is good that you did not commit suicide, and I am sure that if you stick around long enough, SOMETHING will come into your life that makes it meaningful.

If therapy and meds have failed, I just have to ask, do you have things in life that make you happy? Or do you not even know anything that will make you happy. Are there obstacles between you and what you want? I have some obstacles but identifying them and writing them down and working on them slowly has helped.

You are 24, the only thing you could possibly think of yourself as "lost" a chance at (incorrectly I might add) is getting an associate's or bachelor's degree . . . for everything else (work, relationship, family) you are still very young . . .. :wave: write some more about yourself when you get the chance. You should "meet" Man Apart on here, he has some of these body issues and is about the same age as you.

If you are so tired of life it is simply because you have driven every one away with your self pitying trips where you chose to wallow in self inflicted sorrow. Get up and go out and see there is more to life than just good looks and a good upbringing. Happiness is truly a state of mind.



OK! Could we possibly be more harsh?! Geez! You sound like my family! I don't know if you've truly suffered extreme depression but going by your callous attitude, apparently not, or you would understand how painful and frustrating it is. How can you say ChangingMyLife's sorrow is "self-inflicted"?! Do you know this person personally? Have you met her and witnessed what goes on in her day to day life? The LAST thing a depressed person needs is to be accused of wallowing in self-pity when all they are doing is asking for help.

The horrible illness of depression is not wrapped up neatly in a little box with a bow on it for the sufferer to say "Oh, gee, what ever shall I do with this? Oh, let me calmly set it aside and maybe it will go away..." NO! It ravages the mind, the soul and the body. It is not something one can overcome by "picking themselves up by their bootstraps" and moving on. They need help, encouragement and positive feedback. Unfortunately, society treats this illness like leprosy and turns their back on the hurting.

OK, ChangingMyLife, your post broke my heart. I have been where you have been and wondered why I was even born. I, too am alone and lonely sometimes. I have yet to get the chance to have a good boyfriend, let alone, get married because of serious health problems. My family turned on me, kicked me when I was down. Made fun of me because of my depression and all the while, I was suffering from extreme physical pain from female-related illness.

I asked God the same questions you are asking. WHY? And then I realized that I am here because God wanted me born. There's a verse in the book of Psalms that ways "I knit you together in your mother's womb....." which means God has a plan and purpose for each and every one of us. And that includes you! I really believe that those of us who have suffered, God can use greatly to help and show compassion to others. Because we know what it's like to hurt and feel alone.

I do agree with Bogmallo about getting a pet. My pet has helped my depression SO much. It gives us something to love that will love us back with no criticisms. Love us unconditionally no matter how we feel or look.

Sometimes I really believe God helps us through our pets. It's a sweet reminder that we are special and loved.

God bless you and my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Have a nice day, OK?