Hi all
Just need to rant a bit, hopefully someone will have some suggestions for me.
I've been on Lexapro for about 7 months now! (wow didn't realise that till I thought about it.) It has really improved my mood now, took a long time to get there but now it's like there's a nice solid concrete bottom that my mood can't drop below.
I'm just starting a new job doing training at the moment and things were looking great. They still are and it's only a week till I start working now.
Anyway I've got debts big debts, I've been doing the best I can to deal with that till I start work but I just fell into total self-destruct mode last week. As far as I can tell what triggered it was my Mum telling me i'm a 'F%#K UP when I drink' after I had trouble getting out of bed one morning last week, the previous night I had had two beers with a friend while playing pool. I just went numb after she said that and have been totally self-destructive since, wasting money gambling and drinking heavily, I've only just come out of it today really.
I just don't understand why I got like this so quickly and how I stayed in that mood. I'm sure I'm not an alcoholic as I can restrain myself usually. And have gone months without drinking before, quite easily.
So I got to reading and It's scary how much I can identify this experience with Borderline Personality Disorder (My depressions fine but something else is there complicating things) I've had a lot of trouble with intimate relationships before and have totally engaged in 'splitting'. So I just don't know what to do right now, I'm going to have a good talk to my Mum tonight about this and I'm seeing my psychiatrist on tuesday. Hoping he will have some answers as he does know me quite well.
If anyone has some experiences they'd like to share, I would really like to hear those. Also is it possibility to be like Borderline Personality Disorder sometimes?? Or for it to keep coming out in different ways?? I have a much better sense of self now a days for starters but there have been many other complications like I just can't seem to get it right!

Hi John,
What came to my mind when reading over your symptoms, is the possibility of bipolar disorder. I don't know all your symptoms or anything, but I do know that people with bipolar disorder can go on spending sprees, and gamble away a lot of money, etc. Try checking into this, and see if it fits your symptoms, too. Of course, only your Dr. can really say for sure what your diagnosis would be (and even THAT, at times, can be "iffy" :) ).
Just a thought though, since I'm not a health care professional by any means.

Hope this helps,
TFAC

Thanks for the reply but Bipolar disorder is definately ruled out, went through a diagnosis off that and I don't have those syptoms. And the heavy meds made for a really awful experince. But no doubt my psych will look at that. My symptoms are more the irratic behaviour but not having Mania. This all adds to my general confusion.

Thanks for the reply but Bipolar disorder is definately ruled out, went through a diagnosis off that and I don't have those syptoms. And the heavy meds made for a really awful experince. But no doubt my psych will look at that. My symptoms are more the irratic behaviour but not having Mania. This all adds to my general confusion.

Hmm... Pdoc #1 said I may have BP.... Pdoc #2 said I have BP Tendancies... Pdoc#3 said I am BP.... Pdoc #4 said they are insane and that you are simple on the wrong meds.

Pdoc#4, switch my meds and I was good to go :)

You may be suffering from some Mania/BP-Tendancies (whatever the hell that is)... Nonetheless, talk to the doc!

Good luck :)