:wave: Hello everyone,

I am new to this board..and once again find myself researching HIV and AIDS over and over again and each time hoping that what I read the last time was not true. Just like many people here is another case of oral sex but possibly worse. I do not want to make those who have HIV feel uncomfortable because my mother has it and she is living fine with it. Yes, my mother is my life and so having her have it makes me feel like I have it and I having it makes me feel like I am dead. But I do not know yet. I become scared for stupid things like using her eyebrow pencil and crap like that and her razor i used in the past and got tested negative..Now it is something different and more intense. I had oral sex with a co-worker who told me that he is clean etc..but talk is nothing i come to realize in my mothers situation with a man she trusted for nine years. Before i gave him oral sex i even thought about it and i want to kick myself in the *** for even doing it..to top it off I wasn't too crazy about this dude. It was more of a running away from my problems situation to making it worse. He did not ejaculate in my mouth but i did taste little pre-ejaculation :nono: Then when he was down on me for five minutes or so I realized he had a blister! but it looked dried up by then but still..and that scared me so much! Because we kissed a long while. To top it off he is bi sexual and a model..not to judge but you know why i should be nervous right?..I asked him if he has been careful and that i am scared and he felt insulted..I am so scaredd..at this point I don't know how to feel but empty and destroyed..I know i need to get tested thats no doubt but I need to hear more than that..be honest.. :eek:

Hi Mimma
Things happen. Don't worry about 'kicking yourself' over things that have been done. You can't change that so there is no point in looking back.

You said you have been researching the internet about HIV and oral sex. If this is the case, then you will have found that the risk of getting this disease from oral sex is extremely low. Nearly to the point of not warranting a test!
However, seeing you are obviously anxious about it, getting a test at 3 months seems the logical thing to do to for you own sanity.

I am no psychlogist, but judging from your letter, it seems other factors (maybe guilt) may be the real problem and you may want to get some help dealing with that.
Although you are understandably afraid (due to your mother having HIV), your fears are way, way, way out of proportion to the actual risk, based on this one incident.

I hope this may have been of some help.
Longwaysouth

Mimma...

I wrote you in the other post...

Smile :)

Jon

Thank you so much LongWay..You did help in a lot of ways..you made my life a little easier at this point...It is guilt as well..yes it is..Even with a blister on his lip? Thats what scares me more..

Thank you so much LongWay..You did help in a lot of ways..you made my life a little easier at this point...It is guilt as well..yes it is..Even with a blister on his lip? Thats what scares me more..

Almost everyone gets blisters around their lips, I got my first coldsore when I was like 14, I wasn't even sexually active, there's nothing to worry about. :)

I know Avron but I was more scared with he having a blister going down on me..if the blood from his blister touched me..

Mimma
I got my test result back 7/1 and I was neg. The nurse told me she work for the health dept for 9 yrs and there were only two cases that came back neg. It is good that you took your test. Do you have any symptoms that lead to you thinking HIV or what? Hang on my friend, there are many of us out there supporting you and we all believe that you will be fine. Like me.

The nurse told me she work for the health dept for 9 yrs and there were only two cases that came back neg.

I assume you mean "that came back pos' ? Even so, seems quite low for 9 years...

9 years would be 2,268 days (not including weekends)
10 tests a day = 22,680 tests
meaning 1 in 11,340 tests (so far) have come back HIV+

I would expect the stats to be more like 1 in 500 or 1 in 1000. But, who knows... I suppose most people testing are doing so out of paranoia / stress / psychosomatic symptoms more than genuine risk.

Hey my friends,

I was thinking the same thing..you said only two came back negative..think that was a typo. I remember I went to get checked the last time and i was told they never had a case of positive..Thank you for your support..I appreciate it a lot! :)

Mim

No one tells me whether his blister on me could have been a bigger risk..I mean I did not notice blood but still.

Mimma,
Was the blister noticeably oozing with blood or other fluids and did it come into contact with an open and leaking wound that you had? Sorry to be graphic but if this is the case, then maybe, and only maybe, could you there have been a chance, and only a chance, of transmission. Judging by your comments, this was not the case.

The chances of transmission from his mouth to your vagina are theoretical only. In other words, not. The only real risk, and we have been through how low that is, was you receiving (maybe) a little bit of precum in your mouth. This thing about blisters (although I understand your concerns - think about the risk of kissing someone with a cold sore) is really stretching it. The bloke could have been the cleanest guy in the world for all you know.

We could go on about the risk of transmission using various mathematical formulas etc all day and come up with various numerical probabilities, although with your risk, I think my calculator would be displaying something like 1 chance in 350000000 or probably even greater.

Your test at 3 months will give you all the piece of mind you need, and that WILL be negative!

Longwaysouth

Longway,

Wow! You are really kind to take the time out to make a person feel better...Thank you very much..I just thought a little blood on a vagina is more likely then someones lips from the mouth ofcourse...because of my fluids and possibly little openings or something..but no his blister was not oozing..so that makes me feel a lot better. I went on a site which is called www.thebody.com and I asked expert Robert J. Frascino, M.D..and he is awesome and funny and there were tons of people with little questions like fingering and oral and he told everyone that there is really no chance and that those cases that indicate they recieved from oral were no definite because it could have been lies...but he claims it is basically no risk..on the board there were people who had done oral sex with people who had HIV and still come out neg. Your comment made things better. Although I am still waiting for THe M.D to answer me..I still worry that it is a worse case because his blood could of went into my blood stream by going down on me is possibly more higher than a kiss..no? sorry to be a pain..

Mim

Hi again Mimma
I am glad you feel better from what I have said, however, if I thought there was a substantial risk, I would definitely say so. The fact is, the risk is negligible. As for that website you mentioned with Dr. Bob, yeah he is one fantastic individual. There is a lot of information in there that provides a lot of reassurance. I just about read every single post during my window period!

One word of caution however and maybe a word of advice. DO NOT READ MUCH MORE! You know your risk is extremely low. You know that to have contracted the disease in this way is extremely, extremely unlikely therefore you know that in 3 months your test will be negative. LEAVE IT AT THAT! Be content with the basics.

If you search hard enough for something, you will eventually find it (usually bad stuff) and it will haunt you. Forget about the internet and HIV. It is very bad for you mentally. Whilst you are waiting during this window period, turn your computer off and walk away. This advice goes to everyone. It is easier said than done but if you look at a lot of people in here, all of a sudden they self-diagnose themselves with symptoms and then equate it to HIV. Before you know it, not even a doctor can tell you that you are not infected because you think every little ache and pain is HIV! Do not fall into this anxiety making trap. It can have really damaging effects both mentally and physically.

This is just my opinion and I hope it helps.

P.S. Oh, and not only is it my opinion, I fell for that trap as well. It took a long time to get over!

Longwaysouth

You are right when it boils down to the internet playing tricks on you...but i am mean isn't it werid that for one he had a blister on his lip? he is bi-sexual and said he does everything in bed, PIERCING which i read is more risky..but why???, Yeast infection now! and the fact that I saw him in a meeting today and for a guy who drinks protein shakes and take vitamins he really coughed quite a few times...I am scared and afraid now that I got this infection...that I am positive..positive from someone who I don't even care about at this point.

Mim