hey my name is amy i have been goin through a lot of stuff latly.... a couple of weeks after easter i found out i was raped when i was at a party and i was preg... i know there was no way i could keep the baby cause i am 17 still live with my parents me and my parents don't have a gopod relationship and they would flip and there is no way i am keeping a baby which i don't know the father.... so i had an abortion ( the worst thing i have ever choosen).... at first i was alringht but then a couple weeks later i started to show some real emotion.....one day at school my teacher was worried about me because of the way i was acting ( i am very close to her) so i told her i would talk to her later (she is someone that anyone can talk to).....well that day in class we didn't have any free time so she gave me her sn and told me what she was goin to be on and so i can talk to her there in private..... i couldn't keep it in anylonger so i e-mailed her.... the next day in class we spent a hour just me and her talkin it was great to get it out to a adult (cause there was no way io could tell my parents) but now i have been on and off... all i am doin is thinking about it.... i can't stand it...... now with me out of school i don't have my teacher anymore to talk to...... she gave me her phone number to call her if i need to talk to her abut stuff.... but when i need her she isn't home........ i don't know what to do anymore......... on top of that i have a friend me and her were very close and just about 2 weeks ago we got in a fight..... she told me i wasn't taking care of myself.... i know i am not but i really just don't want to hear it....... so a couple days ago i called her to talk to her cause i didn't want to be mad at her for long because she is goin to boot camp for the army tomorrow....... so i called her up and i thought everything was cool but i have not heard from her since.... i know she has a lot of things to think about but stilll.... so today i called her up cause she wanted me to go c her get swearn in but i can't so i wanted to c her at the airport but she is already gone... i guess she needs to spend the night in a hotel so she can leave in the morning and no one knows anything.... i won't c her for 6 months and i didn't even get to say goodbye... i just feel bad because i wanted everything to be alright between us before she left but i don't think it is......
HELP PLEASE

is there any way you can get into seeing a therapsit with out telling your parents the full details... you can just tell them that you feel depressed and would like to get help...

have you any other friends you can confide in? if not, is there a hotline you can call?

i wish you good luck though and hope things work out... *hugs*

that is what my teacher said to do but i think i would feel weird there and i don't think i could talk to someone i don't know my problems and even if i got to know them before i started telling him/ her about it it would take a while i takes me a long time to gain a adults trust very few adults i trust but the ones i do all my trust is in them

Wow.. I am 17 as well. This isn't something anyone should have to go through. You came to the right place. See me, I don't like to talk to people at all. I keep it all in. If this is where you need to vent, then vent. I came here seeking help as well. I thought if I couldn't talk to anyone face to face, then maybe somebody I don't know on here could give me some sort of guidance. I see your reason for abortion. Though it is a tragic experience no youth should have to even think about. You have really got alot on your hands right now. I am sure you and your friend will find common ground. You know you care. She should know you care. Maybe this time away will make her realize that you do care. And she yes has alot of things to deal with. But I bet you will cross her mind often. I hope you start to feel better about yourself. I hope you are smart and seek what you need. I am still a coward. I will be the first to admit. I know I need help. But I am not the type to ask for it. Especially in this situation. I do hope things go well for you though. Keep us posted. Later.

Bren

First thing you need to realize is that you are not alone- and the second thing you need is to get yourself some help. Please seek out your local planned parenthood who can direct you to some totally FREE and CONFIDENTIAL support groups and counseling services. They will help you to learn to deal with what you have gone through- not only were you a VICTIM of a rape but you have had to deal with the emotional rollercoaster of having an abortion. You need to talk to someone who has experienced these types of problems either themselves, or is well versed in counseling others.

Your Teacher is right- you need counseling. There is a good support system here on the boards as well, but I think you need some face to face counseling as well.

Just so you know- I have been there, and I denied myself the right to counseling for many years- having dealt with it all on my own- it sure would have been easier if I would have dealt with it then instead of holding it in for 20 years and supressing a lot of anger and guilty feelings.

Take Care and I sure hope that you do seek out the counseling. BTW- there are "teen" groups out there just for this purpose since you do not feel comfortable speaking with an adult.

-M

that is what my teacher said to do but i think i would feel weird there and i don't think i could talk to someone i don't know my problems and even if i got to know them before i started telling him/ her about it it would take a while i takes me a long time to gain a adults trust very few adults i trust but the ones i do all my trust is in them

Just curious ... How do you "find out you were raped" weeks afterwards?

if you're looking for comfort, i can tell you that the most important person in the world to me just moved across the country. hes the only person i can talk to and the day he left, he didnt even wait for me to get back to say goodbye, he didnt have to wait for more than an hour. i think he left just to avoid my parents, but it hurts me to think he would want to avoid me too. its been a month. i wont see him in 5 more. i havent even talked to him since. i cryed that whole day and still do cry over him. hes not a lover or anything, if it sounds like that, he's acually my sisters boyfriend and he meant more to me than anything. he was the only person i could talk to.