after reading everywhere on the net, it seems almost everyone with ARS ends up testing negative no matter how high or low risk their behaviour was (with ironically the lower the risk the more the person freaks out, like me)....is hiv just a lot rarer than the media would lead us to believe, or what

Hi conan64
Everyone who THINKS they have ARS you mean. If you have a look at the odds, chances etc. it is not the easiest disease to get. It does need to get into your bloodstream and unlike Hep B, you can't get infected with saliva which is what you are more likely to come in contact with. However, statistics and odds mean nothing if you are the one that has been infected and that certainly does occur frequently. You probably just don't hear as much from those that are unfortunate.

Most of the exposures that people freak out about in these forums are not really exposures. Yeah, sure there is a chance you might get infected from low risk episodes such as oral sex or using a condom incorrectly, but it is really not very likely. There are plenty of unlucky people out there who have been infected and my heart goes out to those who have, but there are really only three likely ways to become infected:

1) Unprotected vaginal or anal sex
2) Intravenous
3) Mother to infant

If you are not in any of those categories then it is unlikely you will have been infected and our fears are way out of proportion to any real risk. Even in the event you are in the highest risk category, the odds are still greatly in your favor that infection will not occur. In my opinion our freaking out begins when we say SEX equals SYMPTOMS which equal HIV and these thoughts are not rational. Combine that with overuse of the internet, a touch of guilt and a pinch of negative thoughts and there you have it, an irrational, unqualified, not logical and totally incorrect self-diagnoses of HIV!

My two cents worth!

Longwaysouth

Right on longway!!!

I will add this...

as you will probably read in many posts on this board, many "so called ARS symptoms" can be attributed towards stress and anxiety.

HIV and AIDS does exist...Its never right to discount the fear and possibility of being exposed...but as longway pointed out, its not the easiest disease to get and most of our worries stem from guilt.

I am contemplating gettting tested and I am terrified of the results. I know a guy who tested positive a few years ago, maybe 7 years, and the meds are working great for him. It's undetectible in his system at this point and he's living his life normally.

I have had unprotected sex several times in the past, the last time being probably 3 years ago. I have always feared this and it's kept me from diong things I would have normally wanted to do like donate blood or be a living organ donor. I'm 34, female, very healthy otherwise, no frequent colds or other ailments. I also can't remember any ARS after possible exposure. I am thinking of getting one of the home tests that are good. If positive, does anyone know how well insurance pays for the drugs? I know they are all very different but that is one concern. Getting up the nerve to do the test is the main one. I just dread making that call. It is making me ill. :confused: