Bear with me-this may be a long post. I believe that I may have social anxiety disorder because I have always from the time I was a child had the fear that everyone that I see is staring at me, talking about me or making fun of me, and because at the age of 28, fear of rejection has kept me from ever going on a date or having any friends. I visit a Social Anxiety board to talk about this, but I brought it up first in my post here because I wonder if what I have been experiencing is an extension of Social Anxiety disorder.

In addition to being afraid that real people are staring at me, I have always had a problem with believing that dolls, people and animals in posters and pictures, and people in magazines are watching me.

When I was about 12, I had a monkey poster on my closet door that had been there a while and not really bothered me. However, over time I began to believe that the monkey's eyes were fixated on me and that it was watching me. I even had my young cousin convinced that it was true. I would obsessively stare at its eyes several times a day to make sure that it was not watching me. A few times, I thought that I saw it move its face. I told myself that I was just being silly and left the poster hanging up, but eventually I had to tear it down and get rid of it when I could not take it any more.

Currently, I have a large cat poster on my closet door that like and do not want to get rid of. However, it has really been freaking me out. Like with the monkey poster, it did not bother me at first, but over the past few months, I once again have become convinced that the cat's eyes keep staring at and watching me. I stop and look at it several times a day to check for movement or eye blinking. In fact, I just got finished turning around and looking at it. I have almost jumped out of my skin a few times when I thought I saw it move. I am 28 years old now so this is starting to get ridiculous.

Magazines have always bothered me as well, but not quite as much. Whenever I am reading a magazine and lay it down, I have to put it facedown so that I cannot see the faces of the people on the cover. If I don't, I will sit there and keep watching the people's faces on the cover to see if they are watching me. I have even imagined them talking about me and how pathetic I am. If there is a person on the back of the magazine, I will lay something on top of it.

Okay, this is the scariest part and the hardest to tell. A couple of years ago, I finally had to admit defeat and box up and put in the closet some porcelain dolls that I had on display in my bedroom. This was because of some really scary things that were (or probably not) happening. The porcelain dolls had always bothered me some from the time I was in my early teens and I had always been afraid that they were watching me, but I think it started to get worse when I reached my twenties. Originally, I had the dolls in a place where they were all facing my bed and could "see" me. I quickly realized that was not a good place for them. I must have looked at them 50 times a day to make sure that they were not watching me and to check for movement. I rearranged the dolls so that they would be somewhat out of view, but I still obsessed over them. I realized that two of the dolls I had placed on a chest of drawers directly faced a mirror across the room. Now they could see me in the mirror! I did not want to see, but I kept forcing myself to check in the mirror to see if the dolls were watching me, and I kept getting up to check the others. I jumped several times when I thought I saw them move. Every time I left my bedroom and came back, I was afraid that they would have moved by themselves or be all lined up and smirking at me. Like I said before, I did pack the dolls up and put them in the closet eventually, but I believed that I pissed them off when I did that. Every time that I open the closet door, I have a feeling that they will jump out and scare me or whisper something cruel to me. In a way, I believe that they are evil. As I have been typing this, my fear has been escalating. This is really crazy and I know that it is not true, but I think that I am hearing little whispers and noises coming from the closet. I have also heard very faint high-pitched noises, almost like tiny voices. I think I may just be hearing sounds that are easily explainable and I am reacting out of fear, but this knowledge does not help me. It is almost like they are mad that I am typing this, and they will come out and confront me when I post this message.

I do know that the posters, magazines and dolls are not really watching me or angry at me, but when I get started with these thoughts, I cannot seem to get rid of them.

This is an unrelated tidbit that I wanted to bring up: When I walk by a group of people that are talking, I think that I hear them insult me, but I am not sure if it really happened, or if I just made it up in my head (again with the voices)

I know I warned you beforehand, but I did not expect this post to be quite this long and rambling. Sorry, I just had a lot to get off my chest. At 28 years old, I should not be behaving this way, but do you think it is an actual mental condition, or just part of my quirky personality? Please read and respond. I could use your advice. Thank you in advance to those that read this long post and respond to it.

Maybe you've actually instilled this in your head at a young age and it has become somewhat of a learned habit. You are not crazy, but dolls and people on magazines are not "real" either. This is just a figment of your imagination and you have trained your brain to think this way. I would strongly reccommend that you see a psychologist, not because you are crazy, but because they may be able to help you overcome this and teach you techniques that will help you when you have to confront this at home. I don't think it is too late to learn to overcome this and I think it will take time, it won't be immediate but you do need to see someone that can help you with this. They will not think that you are crazy either-believe me there are alot of people with much more severe problems. Your brain will think anything you tell it to and these are merely YOUR thoughts telling your brain to think this. Please see someone-I promise it will help!!! Good Luck!!!!

Somethings you can do right now by yourself are the following:

A) Realize that EVERYONE has "crazy" thoughts - some of dolls and eyes, some of violence, some of sexual fantasy, etc..

B) You can think ANYTHING you want at ANY time. Start practicing to FORCE yourself to think about something else. Let's say you're sitting there and start thinking, "I know this doll is watching me".. Well, right then and there, think something completely different, on purpose.. like, "dolls are man-made and are incapable of movement or thinking - I think I'll go get some water" or even "I like cheese" over and over again, just something else. Get me?

C) Our minds are very powerful and what you focus on grows. ANY thought held in the mind for extended periods of time will APPEAR to grow in reality in kind. Doesn't matter if the thought is good or bad, right or wrong, "sane" or "crazy", the thought, when repeatedly focused on WILL grow and become more believable over time.

Read and re-read this message and FULLY understand how our human minds work. Don't be frightened, your mind has responded to the practice you've given it. STOP yourself from thinking these thoughts and focusing so much attention on these eyes and objects and START thinking NEW, positive, forward thoughts that serve YOU and your own purposes that create happiness and joy in your life.

Everything you are now doing as a matter of habit or "normalcy" like talking, writing, walking and such were ALL started out of nowhere and improved by PRACTICE - daily, regular, intentional practice - thoughts and mindsets are EXACTLY the same.

You can do this!

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that post actually helped me a lot too dennis1967. thank u :)

i have a learned habit of pretending that certain objects in my house are people. i built up this belief when i was a child because it was fun to start with, but now i'm 20, it's getting a bit ridiculous! my parents quite often tell me to stop talking to myself when really i'm talking to one of my 'imaginary friends'. i get scared that i'm crazy sometimes, but i know it's just a rather strange mindset i've got myself into.

i hope you can find some way of overcoming this by seeing a psychologist or someone. it's a step i may be taking myself soon. good luck