Well, it's official - had my blood test today and nothing.

5 embryos and not a single one came to anything. I was feeling so positive too, not an AF twinge in sight and now I'm absolutely devastated.

Started off this morning thinking 'it's OK, not all IVF treatment works first time, we can always have another bash at it'. But now it's beginning to sink in and it's really knocked me for six. I can't concentrate on anything else right now, and dreading having to tell my family. The phone has been ringing all day and I've been ignoring it.

How do you get the strength to carry on?

Laroussi, (((((hugs)))))

I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. It is hard to pick yourself back up and continue on after getting the news of another failed cycle. IF is not an easy road. First, I want to say it is ok to grieve. I think often times people don't think we should, but IF is hard and discouraging. Recognize that and what you have gone through. It is ok to feel what you are feeling.

Then, when you are ready, pick yourself back up, talk to dh about how to proceed and go with it. You can do it. You made it this far.

I'm saying some prayers for you, girlfriend. ;)

BTW, did you have any extra embryos? Maybe your next cycle can be a FET. They aren't as expensive as IVF. Just a thought.

Laroussi, I am so sorry. I was looking forward to hear the good news.. But hang in there.. and don't stop trying... I know this has to be hard. I cannot imagine nor do I want to.. I have such mixed emotions I want everyone to know how excited I am about the plan of IVF.. but it scares me that on the 2ww I will have to tell people that I am not pregnant and that scares me.. Once again... I'm sorry.. Keep the faith.. I will say a prayer for you... SaDie ;)

I am so sorry. I was praying for good news for you. They are right dont stop hang in there. I know that your sticky bean is right around the corner. :)

Thanks for all your kind words.

The pain is easing slightly today. I'm generally a very optimistic person and try not to let things get me down and I HAVE got lots of nice things to look forward to this summer.

DH is not taking it too well (I think I'm definitely the stronger one) so feel like I have to try and keep HIS spirits up.

We went out for a nice quiet meal last night and then, just our luck, a family with a gorgeous 2yr old girl sat at the table next to us and spent the whole time trying to play peek-a-boo with me. Handled it for all of about 5 minutes and then burst into tears and ran out of the restaurant, closely followed by DH also in tears. We laughed about it this morning and have resolved to try not to get emotional everytime we see families with babies.

It's hard, but we're coping. Thanks once again for all your support.

Oh and cindy - no frozen spares for me. I had 10 eggs, 6 fertilised, 1 didn't develop and the put all the remaining 5 back in (only 2 of which were grade A). We're definitely giving it another go though, maybe Sept/Oct.

L - I am glad you are giving it another try and not giving up hope. I pray that this will be the last IVF you will need because you will get pg. :)

L- my prayers & thoughts are with you. It sounds like you and your dh are allowing yourselves to feel your hurt- I truly believe that is the biggest, most important step in healing. Please remember that nothing you are feeling is wrong, or crazy, your mind is just trying to work things out.
Take care.