After my kids were born I just got really fat.
I can't stop eating and I can't go on a diet on take any pills because I am nursing.

I am so disgusted with myself and I have had thoughts not wanting to live anymore. I have sunk deeper into the depression pit and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I won't even let my husband see me naked anymore. I'm so ashamed with the way I look. I still look pregnant and I have this nasty looking belly with flabby skin hanging over. My butt is huge and I have this flab roll around my waist.

I go to the gym but my problem is eating. I can't stop eating. I don't pig out on junk food but I just eat a lot.

Before I had my kids I weighed around 140-150lbs.
Now I am about 205-210lbs. I am 5ft 7.

What can I do ??? Help.

poobah, I feel your pain and I know you're not alone, there are many on this board who've been where you are. Having some place where you can talk about your feelings and get help makes a diference.

Back in August 2001 I sat at over 250 bls, and I'm one inch shorter than you! Today I am healthy and fit; and 20 lbs away from my goal. It can be done.

I suggest you scroll down the main page to the weight loss forum and have a read through a few of the threads on Metabolism - there are a couple right now that are active and chockfull of good advice. I would also suggest you have a physical to make sure everything inside is functioning properly; it is not uncommon for thyroid problems to develop post partum (check out the thyroid forum as well; you'll find more information there and lots of wonderful and knowledgeable people).

Hang in there, you can take control back and change how you feel!
Nat

I didn't gain a lot of weight during my pregnancy but after I just ballooned up. I was so hungry all the time. I mean all the time! I just could not get enough food and it's not like I was having big macs all day. Just the amount of food was a lot. I gained almost 20 pounds in 2 months. I actually went to the doctor and you know what he said? It's normal. Did you hear me normal. Your body is working so hard and being a new mom and the big one...making milk to nurse. Our body need fuel. I too remember staring in the mirror and thinking " who is that". I breast fed my daughter for as long as I could before going back to work. That was about 4 months. After I stopped nursing I wasn't as hungry. Keep in mind, I am not telling you to stop nursing. Just be patient with your body. My doctor told me it takes about a year to fully recover. Please don't judge yourself on your weight alone. Be proud that you have a beautiful baby and the weight will come off. Hope this helps.

You sound just like me. I was 150 before I got pregnant with my second one. I was 226 whe I gave birth. I'm only 5'2. I also breastfed for about 5 months and I was hungry from the moment I woke up to the time I went to sleep (which I did not get very much of). Listen to me very carefully. When we have children, our bodies go through serious hormonal changes. It is normal for you to feel the way you do. What you have to remember is that it will change. You will feel like yourself again. Just give yourself some time and give yourself a break. I'm now down to 168 and I have about 20 more pounds to lose. I did it lots of ways. At first, I cut out sugar and white frour and ate everything else, including lots of fruits and veggies, fish, raisins, yogurt...everything. It did not affect the breatmilk at all. I lost about 30 pounds and then got stuck. Since then I've tried different things and it's been a tough journey. I'm still working on it but I will never give up and neither will you. You will be happy again and you will have your beautiful little baby with you. We're all here for you. Hang in there. Don't be ashamed to let your husband see you naked. After all, it's his fault you're in this situation (haha).

isn't it a shame that we are made to feel shamful of our bodies because it doesn't meet some arbitrary standard that only a robot could fit? you say you feel disgusted and don't even want your husband to see you, do you feel that you have done something wrong to feel shame?

your body has got alot on it and needs your compassion right now, it needs the extra fuel and even fat (somewhere you endured a mild famine) it needs you to cherish it not hate it. you had a baby that is very stressful enough with night feedings and not getting enough sleep etc. give your body a break it doesn't deserve to be treated this way and frankly you dont deserve to feel shame over your expanded body.

people have no right to tell you that you are ugly or should feel shame (tho I know we do anyway,) society has really programmed people to be dissatisfied with their bodies no matter how thin or what not it is.

what you need to do is read the threads under weight loss and obesity that talk about famine feast cycles (and pregenancy can get the cycle going) and how the body is actually protecting you from death, via starvation and all it's nasty side effects one which is organ damage.

I posted alot in those threads

please give yourself a break and keep eating, don't fight it, as long as you are craving mostly real foods and not junk don't worry about it. the body will work things out in time,

RR