ontheway
07-31-2004, 04:22 AM
Can't sleep It's 12:15 am here, I'm tired but I'm having some bad thoughts that keep me in my mental rituals in I cant get to sleep. I really cant take this. I feel like I think or the thought myself but its still unwantted and then i feel like the thought is true and is going to happen so i prayed for it not too ( religious thoughts but this dealing with bad things ) and its just so hard to deal with this im ussually able to sleep but the past 3 days have been so hard for me inside my mind with OCD its attacking me these 3 days i hate it. I ended up hurting myself I know its not the proper way to deal with it but I cant really continue to take this im getting very angry I would really like to be sleeping right now so I don't have to kept being awake i like when i sleep as long has i dont have a bad dream i know im rumbbling this is a bad time with me because OCD has decided to attack me last time i could not sleep i had bad thoughts concently and could not close my eyes without a bad thought and i ended up in the hospital i hope to heaven it does not get like that again i cannt live like that its too painful but I have no choice but to deal with this and i dont knoow how to without being scared to take the advise thats been given to me.. I think life stinks
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mlachowicz
08-02-2004, 09:54 PM
ontheway;
Hey, I haven't posted in awahile, and I just read your post. I am very concerned for you! Are you OK? What's going on? I think you should call your Dr. and speak to them as soon as possible! I do not know your story, but if you are not on meds maybe you should get on them, if you are on meds then maybe you need a upped dose, or even a switch. Keep us posted! You are in my prayers.
~M~
Hey, I haven't posted in awahile, and I just read your post. I am very concerned for you! Are you OK? What's going on? I think you should call your Dr. and speak to them as soon as possible! I do not know your story, but if you are not on meds maybe you should get on them, if you are on meds then maybe you need a upped dose, or even a switch. Keep us posted! You are in my prayers.
~M~
ontheway
08-06-2004, 11:12 PM
ontheway;
Hey, I haven't posted in awahile, and I just read your post. I am very concerned for you! Are you OK? What's going on? I think you should call your Dr. and speak to them as soon as possible! I do not know your story, but if you are not on meds maybe you should get on them, if you are on meds then maybe you need a upped dose, or even a switch. Keep us posted! You are in my prayers.
~M~
Hi, thanks for responding to me, I just re read what I posted when i said i ended up in the hospital i didnt mean that I think what I meant was last time it was like this i ended up in the hospital..i was put in the hospital in 2002.
at moments i feel ok but i'm suffering from these bad OCD thoughts one that is really getting to me is that I will hurt my boyfriend by cheating or thinking of others and i feel like i am thinkinf of others when I don't want too but it makes me feel like i do im just troubled I love my boyfriend and he didnt know about OCD until me and we have been together on the 24th will be a year and he is starting to understand but i have the confessing part and i feel like i have to confess these thoughts to him all the time and i can just imagine how he feels this is tearing me upside then the most annoying one that upsets me the most is the religious thoughts dealing good and bad inside my head I can't do anything just about without OCD being in it..I can't use the bathroom, get a shower, sleep, think, it controls how i hold the phone how i do things and what I do and im so sick oof this that all its doing is making me mad i lash out at God when i should not..I'm very frustrated and can't go back thru this again i mean im ok at the moment but im waiting for that to change as it always does .. it feels like im slipping in the controling of my mind at times and that scares me because I dont want to go back to the hospital i self injury myself because im so upset and dont know how to handle all this frustraton and anger and no one can seem to help me. one , is because I don't take the advise , because I'm scared. I'm on medicine and go to therapy once every month or to months depends on the money situation with me. sometimes i just really dont like earth its just a place of pain and i have sunshine but the pain seems to cover it up or try atleast and that really hurts me..but I have no choice to stay here because i live for God, my boyfriend, my mom.. and can not do that..so im stuck in this place where I dont want to be at times I feel very tired and fed up and angry, thanks for listening to me and the prayers i really do need them. sometimes i have good days or moments where im able to say its ocd i still do the ritual but im not as scared then boom all the sudden im really scared again..how are you doing ? please letme know take care God bless u always (( hugs ))
Hey, I haven't posted in awahile, and I just read your post. I am very concerned for you! Are you OK? What's going on? I think you should call your Dr. and speak to them as soon as possible! I do not know your story, but if you are not on meds maybe you should get on them, if you are on meds then maybe you need a upped dose, or even a switch. Keep us posted! You are in my prayers.
~M~
Hi, thanks for responding to me, I just re read what I posted when i said i ended up in the hospital i didnt mean that I think what I meant was last time it was like this i ended up in the hospital..i was put in the hospital in 2002.
at moments i feel ok but i'm suffering from these bad OCD thoughts one that is really getting to me is that I will hurt my boyfriend by cheating or thinking of others and i feel like i am thinkinf of others when I don't want too but it makes me feel like i do im just troubled I love my boyfriend and he didnt know about OCD until me and we have been together on the 24th will be a year and he is starting to understand but i have the confessing part and i feel like i have to confess these thoughts to him all the time and i can just imagine how he feels this is tearing me upside then the most annoying one that upsets me the most is the religious thoughts dealing good and bad inside my head I can't do anything just about without OCD being in it..I can't use the bathroom, get a shower, sleep, think, it controls how i hold the phone how i do things and what I do and im so sick oof this that all its doing is making me mad i lash out at God when i should not..I'm very frustrated and can't go back thru this again i mean im ok at the moment but im waiting for that to change as it always does .. it feels like im slipping in the controling of my mind at times and that scares me because I dont want to go back to the hospital i self injury myself because im so upset and dont know how to handle all this frustraton and anger and no one can seem to help me. one , is because I don't take the advise , because I'm scared. I'm on medicine and go to therapy once every month or to months depends on the money situation with me. sometimes i just really dont like earth its just a place of pain and i have sunshine but the pain seems to cover it up or try atleast and that really hurts me..but I have no choice to stay here because i live for God, my boyfriend, my mom.. and can not do that..so im stuck in this place where I dont want to be at times I feel very tired and fed up and angry, thanks for listening to me and the prayers i really do need them. sometimes i have good days or moments where im able to say its ocd i still do the ritual but im not as scared then boom all the sudden im really scared again..how are you doing ? please letme know take care God bless u always (( hugs ))