I'm currently in a situation where I am interested in a friend of mine. He and I have known eachother for a few years and are comfortable with eachother. I would like to maybe see if he is interested in me but there is one HUGE problem...I'm able bodied but he has CP. That wouldent be an issue except he is very physically involved. He needs help with everyhing including eating and using the bathroom. I'm so scared if I got involved with him people would think I was a pervert or his parents might think I'm taking advantage of him. I don't know if it's even possible to do, everyone would think I was crazy.

I just wanted to hear from people who are AB and seeing someone with CP or from people with CP who have dated AB people. How did friends and family react? Did the relationship work?

"there is one HUGE problem"

If this is what you think the relationship is going to be even before you start one, it and you are doomed to failure. There are many people here that have sucessful love relationships with AB people. I am one of them. I have Spastic Diplegia CP and my wife does not have CP. I have never worried what other people thought of my decisions as an adult. Our families get along just fine...

Didn't you post this some months back?

Hi my name is Heather. yes it is possible for able-bodied people to date people who have cerebral palsy......i have a boyfriend who has it and he can't do anything by himself either.... and if you intend to even marry him in a couple of yrs. or more from now, you wouldn't be taking advantage....you just would have to be more than a dating partner or more than a wife if you intend to marry this guy in the near future...[ removed ] talk to you later.....heather

I picked up on the same phrase tha musicmaker did...

"there is one HUGE problem"

If you go into the relationship with the mindset that there is already a problem, there will be problems.

I am an AB woman who met my husband w/CP 7 years ago. I fell for him hard immediately. Although he is more able-bodied than the gentleman you're describing, he does have his limitations. I never saw him as "disabled" just differently abled because he can do everything I do (i.e. shower, dress, go to work, drive, etc).

My dad was angry that I was "getting myself in too deep" with him, but I simply didn't care. I suppose it would be no different than friends or famiy being upset that you are with a guy with a pierced ear or who is slightly overweight. If you're in love, you're in love! (or in like or whatever)

I say be honest with this young man and let things naturally take their course...just like any other relationship.

Good luck,
Jen

Thanks for your replys. I'd like to clarify something though before I get anymore responses pointing out that I thought there was a "HUGE problem".

I, in no way, am referring to him as the problem but to the situation. I have known him for ages and we are friends, he is not a problem to me. I simply ment the process of having to tell family and friends...and his family and friends. It would be difficult. Plus the fact that I may have to be some sort of caregiver rather than a partner because of his physical needs.

I just wanted to hear from people who have been in this situation. I did'nt mean to offend anyone or sound like his disability turned me off.
Thanks

If you're really worried about how his family will react, maybe you should all sit down and talk it out together... just so everyone is on the same page. I don't see it being a problem at all.

Again,
to clearify this a bit more darrinhpt, what is your age and what is the age of your friend? Are you both over 18? Friends, lovers, and soulmates are there for each other, and will do what it takes for each other. You will be a caregiver to this person, but you will each be so much more than that too!

I met my soulmate 2 months ago. At first he tried to avoid me, thinking he would be a burden. We are both 37 yrs old and he was diagnosed 5 yrs ago.
He is in a lot of pain, especially in his neck. I feel so helpless at times, I cry so much cause Im so afraid of losing him. If anyone could give me some advice on what makes them feel better Id appreciate it!!

Hi angnvegas,
What was he diagnosed with 5 years ago? Cerebral Palsy?
Usually Cerebral Palsy is diagnosed at a very young age as it is aquired at or soon after birth.
Anyway, let me know and maybe I can help :)

CP can result later in life from things like head trauma or accidents involving stopped breathing or drug reactions. All these can result in damage to the Brain's Cerebellum. In the adults I've seen with late oncet CP, they are very involved, much more than the usual newborn, unfortunately

you say you've known this person for a long time.

if you are both adults--i mean at least in your early twenties

i say what does it matter what people think??

they can live their lives and you can live yours. :)

if you want to live in a boat and they want to live in an igloo--what difference does it make if you are all happy????

if you want a permanent long term relationship with someone who needs physical care--and you are willing to make the long term commitment--if you both want it

then the last thing you need to worry about is what uncle henry is thinking--let them think.

concern yourself with the needs of the day and the interests and desires of your heart.

if you have good intentions the relatives will eventually figure that out--after they watch you like a hawk and gossip about you like old hens

but who cares???

have a good life and make a good life for those who love you. :)