In my beautiful home state of Virginia a very ugly thing happened yesterday. A 3 year old little girl was left in her father's car all day, while he worked in a childrens' recreation center. It is incomprehensible to me that this little girl had to not only suffer the fright of being left alone in the car;but that she had to endure such a horrific death of not having water or food, having to use the bathroom on herself, and then eventually to die of a heat stroke that led to her cardiac arrest, from which she could not recover. In this church parking lot, no one heard her cries or noticed her absence from class, or even questioned her father regarding his daughter's absence as they passed him throughout the day. To top it off, this didn't warrant national news coverage; nor did the twenty other cases that have occurred so far this year.

Her death has been ruled an accident and life, for others, goes on. This and all the other cases are more than accidents; it is the worst form of child neglect. When parents or guardians become so busy that a child carries no more value than a pair of car keys, something is wrong. "Too busy" is a disease that is killing children; and parents and guardians need to be aware. Slow down, eliminate some material things, and pay attention to the most beautiful things, the children. 42 children died last year in America from being forgotten in the back seat of a car. In my opinion, none of these were accidents. An accident is something that is out of your control. To forget your child like you forget your keys is a whole lot more than an accident.

Please pass this story along and maybe the 62 deaths that have occurred so far in the past two years may prompt an awakening and save some lives. They are only children for a short time and we can't even give them our full attention during that time. This should be the top story on every news program. How much do we really value the children? :confused:

I really can't understand how someone in charge of a young child can 'forget' they are in the back of the car. I mean, I can maybe see them being very busy and leaving but I would assume they'd remember before they got 5 steps away from the car. How you can completely forget about a child long enough for them to die in the back of a hot car is incomprehensible to me. I work in child care centers and I find some parents drop their kids off at 7am and don't come back until after 6pm. They bring them in when they are sick because they can't miss work. I realize that in certain cases a parent needs to work long hours but we don't seem to appreciate kids anymore. Anyway, I agree with you that that story is horrific and altough the father is probably very, very upset, inexcusable.

You are absolutely correct in your statement that forgetting your child in the back seat of a hot car is inexcusable. What makes this case even more incomprehensible is the fact that the father didn't think of his daughter at all throughout that day, until it was time for him to go home at 4:30p.m. She was just another task to complete in his list of duties on a to do list. I certainly do hope that parents will re-evaluate their list of priorities and simplify their lives. If you're working long hours or overloading the day with activities to improve your child's way of life, what is the point when that life is lost.

this sickens me....just another form of manslaughter in my opinion....did you know they did an experiment on this once?.....they put a thermometer in a car on an 80 degree day with the windows up and in 10 min. it was 100 degrees in that car!!!!!! now could you imagine how slow and painful a death that would be...
It just turns my stomach! I can not imagine ever forgeting my sweet little baby in a car, most of the time even when she isnt with me i find myself getting ready to get her out when i arrive at my location.....then laugh at myself becuase she isnt there....
i agree with re-evaluating priorities....children have become the last thing on a to-do list these days, yet no one can figure out why there child is disconecting from them, everyone is out there worried about making one more dollar, just one more, and leaving there sick child in day care all day.....
i realize parents have to work to make a living but money should NEVER come before a childs well being.....as i have always said...."if you are to busy for a child DONT HAVE ONE!"

chrissi

Hello, I believe it was a Grandfather and the kid fell asleep in the back of the car, which might explain how it happened. It still doesn't make it right though. I think it's odd that no one saw the kid in the car. Our town came up with a new ruling last year, that you can't leave any child under 8 years old unattended in a vehicle for any length of time in any kind of weather. I remember watching a local police officer waiting for a mother to come out of a grocery store, because she left her 3 children in the car alone. She tried to explain that it was a quick stop, but the officer gave her a citation any way and said the fine would be $500 the next time it happens.

it is good that the officer ticketed that woman....but until this gets national attention babies and small children will continue to die i am sure, and as long as this is written off as "accidental" it will not recieve recognition.

they say you should keep a teddy bear in your childs saftey seat and when you put your child in it you sould but the bear in the front seat, so that when you get out you will see it and remember "oh yeah i have a child in tow"
yet it is a messed up world when you have to have a "reminder" to get your child out of a hot car before you get out.....*sigh*

this isnt just children either, people are also leaving pets on purpose in the car when they go out, (though it is beyond me why they cant leave the pet at home, either inside or out)
i called the police on someone last summer when i was grocery shopping, i saw the dog in a van (windows up) (90 degrees out) i was in the store about 30 min and that poor dog was still in there when i got back to my car....i took the plates # and made the call.....

That is really sick, the poor child, I coudn't imagine dying like that. and to think, I complain when someone runs into the store for a minute on a hot day and takes there keys and has power windows so you can't roll them down, but atleast I can open the door.
Last year I was in a grocery parking lot and was walking out to my car when I noticed a big group of people standing around a suv, apparently there was a dog inside with one window open about 3 inches, one lady said out loud, well they did have nice leather seats and poured a whole gallon of water on the dog (who also drank from it) the owner came out and a fight started, I left at that time. Some of these people I want to stick in a hot car on a humid day for 5 minutes and see how they like it.

As I originally posted, this was indeed the case of a Father leaving his daughter in the back seat of his vehicle. The case with the grandfather is a separate incident; either a part of the 42 deaths that occurred last year, or one of the 20 deaths that have occurred so far this year. It wasn't until this case happened in our local area that the local news was prompted to report the statistics regarding the 62 deaths caused to children being left in cars over the past two years. This is just proof that as Chrissi has stated, as long as these cases are ruled accidental and no national coverage is given, children will continue to die this horrific death. I was astounded to find out that this was the twentieth case to occur so far this year and that fourty-two deaths had occurred last year. This is one of the reasons I felt the need to post this message. One case of a child dieing after being left in a vehicle is one case too many.

The first horrible thing that happened to this little girl was that her Father left her in the car; the second horrible thing that happened to this little girl was that her death was ruled accidental. The Father in this case left his daughter in the car to go teach children at a recreational center on the church facilities. It was bad enough that he didn't remember his daughter as he left the vehicle; but how in the world would you not be reminded of your daughter in the faces of other children. There are too many unanswered questions in this case and the police were too quick to rule this an accident. The Commonwealth Attorney was out of town when this incident occurred and upon his return recommended the assembling of a special grand jury to make a ruling on this case. Of course, this has caused friction between the Sheriff's Dept. and the Attorney's office and instead of the focus being on justice for this little girl; it's on job reputation. These types of cases are never accidents; at the very least, it's negligence. However, when you allow yourself to think about the torture that this little girl endured, I agree with another postee who calls this what it truly is, manslaughter. It is because these cases are ruled accidental that it doesn't make national news. It is because these cases are ruled acccidental that 62 deaths have occurred in the past two years. It is because these cases are ruled accidental that the atmosphere becomes ripe for many more cases to occur. I've seen this little girl abandoned twice. First, by her Father; and second, by the Sheriff's Dept.

you know there is a way to make this get national recognition.....
someone needs to start a group and have them speak out about this sort of thing....just as there are ppl who speak for\against abortion, and MADD (mothers against drunk diving) and so on...these are just an example of groups that get TONS of recognition.....this needs to stop, it is sick.

As a mom of 4, I just cannot understand how this can happen. We had a similiar case in my town last summer. An 18 month old baby was left in her family's suv, in their driveway! She was left for about 7 hours before her father or one of her 6 siblings realized she was missing. The mom and a daughter were out of town, and the dad and at least two teenagers plus some younger kids were watching her.
After her death, the father had the gall to blame his 17 year old son for not watching her, even though he himself was at home the entire time! Some neighbors happened to be walking by and found her, and the temp had easily hit the high nineties that day.
Thanks to the "good ole boy" network in this town, the only reason charges were pressed against the father was because of public outrage. Because he was a member of a certain church and was held in high esteem, he was charged but served no time. Plus his boss was so supportive of his situation, he offered to pay his family his full salary if he was incarcerated. Of course, fund raisers were held to help pay his legal costs.
I cannot begin to imagine what that baby went through as she died. I can't imagine being the 17 year old boy who's father blamed for the death of that baby. I cannot understand a society that tolerates this negligence.

what is with people!
the anger this causes me is unreal!
all the babies DYING in the nation and all over the world to such a sinceless tragety
it just infuriates me!!
this IS MANSLAGHTER in its truest form!
and at the very least abuse or neglect!
why cant the government see that!
if you forget to feed your child and it dies then you have neglected it.
therefore if you forget your child in a hot car again you have neglected it.
what about the domestic disputes between couples....boyfriend gets mad, throws girlfriend off 3rd story ballcony, get chared with manslaughter GOES TO PRISON!

and this is NO different maybe in hindsight the boyfriend is sorry he did it but you know, to little to late as they say......
and that is how it should be for these people KILLING their children.
how is this any different than sufocatting your baby?
or even malnurishing your child?
i mean the kid sits in the car and (possibly) suffocates and i am sure also dehydrates.
i personally feel that these people should have their parental rights terminated and these other children should go to live with either a relitive or be adopted by a family who HAS enough time for them since obviously the original parents do not.
so many people out their who want a baby and cant have any and the ones who can are FORGETING their babies in the car to die.....

IT HAS HAPPENED AGAIN IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!!!

In less than two weeks time, a second child has died after being left in a car in my home state of Virginia. This time a father left his 8 month old baby inside his car (on purpose) while he went to work for a few hours on a job site. This time the Father was arrested and charged with felony child abuse and neglect (too little, too late). The first case was well publicized in our home state; therefore this Father was well aware of the consequences of leaving your baby inside a hot car. However, this father probably thought that he would get off as easy as the first father did and made a choice to leave his child despite the risk. He gambled with his baby's life knowingly. I knew that the charge of an accidental death in the first case would prompt more tragedies; I just didn't know that it would happen so quickly. Child abusers exist. That charge of accidental death was open season for child abusers to do the unthinkable (purposely) and get away with it. This was definitely not a coincidence. This father would think twice about double parking because he could get a ticket; but as he learned from the first father's case, all he would get for leaving his child alone in a hot car was sympathy. This is indeed a serious children's health issue. I know about these two cases because it happened it my home state; however and because it wasn't reported nationally, I know that these two cases aren't the only deaths that have occurred this way in the United States. As I have stated before, 20 cases had already happened so far this year in U.S. The toll has now reached 21; yet it still hasn't made national news (ridiculous).

I hope that at least one parent from each state will read this message and spread the message of the dangers of leaving children (even for a minute) in hot cars.

i am glad that man has been charged.....what a terrible excuse for a human he must be. it is just wonderful that he will not walk free for this as so many others have.

i live in ohio and i too hope at least one parent/anyone who cares enough will pass this on as well.....

i realize parents have to work to make a living but money should NEVER come before a childs well being.....as i have always said...."if you are to busy for a child DONT HAVE ONE!" chrissi

I couldnt agree more!!! It makes me SICK that people are so freaking ignorant that they would do something that stupid. It was no accident. He was just a selfish, uncaring, thoughtless person that took to regard for human life.

I remember a few years back, although I don't recall the date or location...this woman, went to a beauty salon to get her hair and nails done. She left her young children in the car alone. This was in the middle of the summer I believe. From what they said, the kids were in the car alone for at least 2 hours. By the time someone noticed, and told someone, it was too late. The woman didnt think it was a big deal to leave the kids in the car. So, she has to go in and get her hair done, and get her fake a** nails done, and just blows off her children for the sake of appearance?

It just sickens me.

again...how selfish, just absolutly sick......

Hi,

I am from Alaska and we have that problem here too. Now if your kid is left alone in the car or if there is any kids left in the car I think its 8 here to, there is a big fine. I feel that if you are know that you are going somewhere and you know that you will be leaving your child in the car find a sitter as a parent you have the responsibilty of taking care of your child and making sure that they are NOT in harms way. You can't predict what is going to happen that day. Your car could catch on fire with them in there or some could steal it or they could find the lever to knock it out of gear and go over a cliff or drive into the middle of the highway with oncoming cars or run over someone. With my son even when I am at the gas station i take him out of the carseat and go inside and pay even though it will take a second, thats how long it could take for anything to happen, don't do something that you will regret for the rest of your life, when it could of only took a second
JenniB :eek:

Your message is timely (right on time) Jenni B. I failed to mention in my three postings, the other dangers (besides heat stroke) of leaving children unattended in cars. Due to our recent cases that have occurred in Virginia, local media coverage has focused more attention on the occasions where children have been injured or killed after being left unattended in vehicles. In today's paper (8/30/04), there was an article about the nonprofit organization, Kids in Cars. This organization is a St. Louis based organization that was started by the parents of a two year old boy who was killed by a runaway van that contained unattended children.

"Two year old Harrison Struttmann was watching boats travel down the Missouri River in a park near his home when he was hit and killed by a runaway van. Two small children left unattended in the van had shifted the van into gear, causing it to jump a curb stop and race through the park according to his mother, Michele Struttmann, who was seriously injured in the accident that killed her son....Dangers go beyond the well documented cases of children dying from heat exposure after being left in vehicles, he (Mr. Struttmann) said. "We have cases where children left the vehicle and went into a busy street or into a parking lot. Or, leaning out the window, their knee toggled the window switch, the window went up and suffocated the child," Struttmann said. "They can allow a stranger access to the vehicle. The child could be abducted." (The Daily Progress, Virginia Newspaper)

Jenni B also mentioned how she takes her children with her into the gas station and doesn't leave them for even that brief moment of time unattended. One or two years ago, a mother had left her son in the car while she went to pay for the gas. A carjacker drove off with the young child dangling out of the car as the mother tried her best to get him out of the car seat before the car jacker pulled off. Her son died in the process (dragged to his death, before passersby interceded to stop the carjacker and alert him to the fact that a child was dangling out of the car). It is definitely a good idea to take your child with you when paying for gas. Children unattended in cars is just not safe!!! Not even for a minute.

I think cars should be made with alarms, where if a child is left in car alone, an alarm would sound after a very few minutes. I know this could be done easily with the technological advances we have today. If the alarm went off, it would be an embarrassment to the adult (certainly a wake-up call), and would save the child. The alarm could sound when a heat sensor indicated how hot the inside of the car was getting (with a child inside -- based upon a certain weight on the seat).

I know it is no excuse, but there are a lot of troubled adults out there. Good people, just troubled. It is possible for people who are characterized by being dependable and responsible to have a memory lapse. Some could be suffering from anxiety, stress, depression, or even alzheimers etc...all which can make an adult forget something that they wouldn't ordinarily forget. I just think it would be nice to have something to help these people so they wouldn't make a life-threatening mistake. (My mother-in-law is bi-polar, and I've seen her in her depressed state... It makes me wonder what these adults were going through during the time they forgot their child and left him/her in the car.)

Hi its JenniB agian

I enjoy talking about this subject for being 22 years old not many people my age think the way i do. But to KIPPY6, people could depend on Alarms, but that would be like depending on Auto Start, you never know when it will work. If that happens, then you have a bad situation on your hands, because then you don't know if it could be working when your kids are in their, and with a split second while already in the store your car could catch on fire or someone could be robbing it with out you knowing it. Anxiety Attacks I have never had, but depression and stress yes I have had them both, but even during those times I would forget the little things but never my kid. Their is just no excuse for it. The alarm sound Sounds good, but you gotta think about the Pro's and the Con's. You can forget the ordinarily stuff, but your kids are not the ordinarily stuff. I'm sorry that your Mother In Law has BiPolar, I had a cousin that had commited suicide from it about 6years ago. I miss him everyday. I hope all goes good for your family and her. :angel:

JenniB

Maybe the car alarm is a silly idea, but I would hope adults would not "depend" on it, as it is against the law to leave your kids in the car. But you are right, it is possible that some adults would use it in that fashion. I just wish there would have been something to protect these poor little kids. It is the parent's responsibility, but, if I could have done anything to save the life of one of those kids, I would have done it. If by having a car alarm, they would still be alive today, I'd definately support it. I'd like to think that I'd never have to use one, that it's more to save all those other kids lives. If the parent is not going to do it, then it would be nice to have a back up system. We all agree there is no excuse, but that doesn't bring back the children who have died. We can teach and remind parents all we want, but this problem will continue to happen in the future. I just wish there was something we could do to help these children.

Hi:

I do not think that the alarm is a silly idea. Things do happen and it would be a great protection. I understand what everyone is saying here. But accidents happen to good people and good parents too that is what is not being mentioned here.

Two Christmas' ago my parents went to California to see my two sisters and their families. My mother was at one sister's house and my other sister, her husband and children came over. They were going to the store but it was decided to leave the twin girls (3-yrs old) with my mom.

So off my sister and brother-in-law went with my 6 month old nephew to the grocery store. My nephew fell asleep. They had just dropped the others off and they were so used to the family always being together that neither one of them realized that they left their son in the back seat sleeping.

They were in that store for about 45 minutes my sister says that they were just enjoying the peace and quite. They are not sure what jogged them but all of a sudden they looked at each other and screamed "the baby". My sister took off running before my BIL ( a trained and practicing Firefighter!) had a chance she was out the door and in the van.

They were both very upset and to this day they actually count children when getting in or out of the car.

My point is these are two extremely responsible and I would challenge anyone to be as good of parents. And it happened. It happened because they were in highly unusual circumstances.

Yes, there are people who are not dedicated parents and should not really be parents. But things do happen to dedicated people.

Kippy's idea is great for these circumstances.

i have been diagnosed with
*GAD- generalized anziety disorder
*OCD- obsessive complusive disorder
*Mild Depression....
so here is a point of view from a person "with some issues" as they say

i would not ever forget my child or anyone else's in a hot car or any car at that. reguadless of how bad my day was going....
i dont feel that a "memory lapse" can be to blame as that would have to be sever case of memory loss....
to forget ones own flesh and blood in a car to die....
and that being said this to me is not an exaple of a honest mistake or an "accident"
an accident is something you could not likely prevent from happening...*like a car crash*

"opps i accidentally left my child in the car and what do you know he died, but it was just an accident"
or how about:
"opps i accidentally shoved my husband over a balcony cause i was mad at him, sorry"
"opps i had a little to much to drink and went out for a drive and killed a family of 4, my deepest apologies"
sorry so blunt, but i feel that the only way to express myself this time.
as i said before this is a sinceless tragety and someone needs to speak out for these babies dying in such an inhumane, unexcusable way.

Hi Its JenniB,

I can understand about having a back up system and I'm not saying that the alarm system is totally out of the question, but what if it didn't work what if that one day you decide to use it and it doesn't work, how would you know. I do believe bad things do happen to good people. But there were days when I was so freaked out and so stressed where I could have forgotten about my son or when I just want to hurry up and leave in the car but I don't, I don't like taking chances on other people's lives, let alone my own son, he means the world to me, and if anything ever happend to him because at that moment I was just thinking about myself, I think it would kill me for the rest of my life, thats just like with the alarm for that one second I wanted to be lazy and and trust the alarm to work and it didn't it, it would be clairly my fault for trusting something that I didn't know it had not been working at that time. This is just the way I feel and some people might not agree with me and that is ok, because everybody is different including me. I'm just saying there is possibility that there could be a default and to me it feels like you would be risking your kids life that one second. I like hearing responses about this it keeps me open minded to Ideas and other theorys. My husband and I are not perfect parents either, we have our faults too.
Hope to here from you guys again :angel:

JenniB

I remember when my last baby was just a few weeks old. Our whole proud family went to Walmart shopping with 2 carts. My husband was pushing the baby in one cart, and I was pushing another cart. We each had a child or 2 more with us. My DH and I shopped separately for awhile. While shopping, my husband left the cart w/baby for a second to walk to find a product a few feet away on the same isle. I don't remember all the details. I think too that my DH had asked my DD to stand with the cart for a moment. Then the kids started talking to him, and before long they were over in another isle talking to me. I participated in the conversation for about 2 minutes and finally said, "wheres the baby?!!" Fortunately, we went back 15 feet to the other isle, and she was still there sleeping soundly. It took my breath away to think we did this.

Then, I went back to MY cart, and a nice man wearing a 1st Baptist Church shirt was standing there. He said, "I heard your family say, 'Where's the baby?!!' and I thought I'd stand here and watch your cart and your PURSE while you looked for your baby." They also had several children, and told me that one time they accidentally left their baby in her car seat on top of the car while they went into the store. They turned around, thinking the other person had gotten the baby and both ran back to the car.

My point is that both of these stories involve a parent having a memory lapse. And either one of these stories could have been a tragedy...these children were forgotten, but the difference is that we were out shopping, where we usually shop.

Another case I read about was where the mother normally took the baby to day care every morning. However, one morning, the dad took the baby to day care. Mom had an appt. However, the baby fell asleep, and the dad forgot about the baby being in the car. He got a call later that day from his wife, asking if he dropped the baby off. He ran out to his car, which was in the parking garage, and found their baby dead. I don't think this would happen to most of us mothers. However, there seems to be an increase of child deaths by suffocation in vehicles where the male caretaker was responsible (barring alchohol and drugs) over the mother that particular day.

I've also heard stories where this kind of thing happens to a mother who is "partying" at her friends house, and leaves her child in the car all night. I've heard other stories where I think that some people probably intentionally commit murder by doing this. I think it needs to be taken as a case by case situation, and it is not right to judge all these situations as the same.

To me, talking over and over again about how "I could never do that," is redundant and a mute point. I can't imagine anyone coming on this board and saying, YES, I could leave my child in a car to suffocate! We are all going to say there is no way we could do that. We all already know that about ourselves. And you know what, saying that doesn't solve anything. I think the more important question is to focus on our societies children...how do we prevent/save these little children from being the next victims?? More parental education, car alarms, stricter enforcement of laws, whatever... it happens way too much. I'd rather try to prevent a death than to prosecute a parent after the child is dead. Just a thought...

This kinda thing sparks angry emotions in me as well. I think how could this happen! What were they thinking to do something so irresponsible. Whatever the reason I think the guilt and remorse they will experience for the rest of their lives is punishment enough. They lost a child and the only thing worse than that is it was their own fault. I don't think a parent should be jailed unless there is foul play involved. I was watching oprah and there was a man who drove to work thinking about his presentation he had prepared the entire time. He forgot to drop off his infant who was in the back seat at the babysitters and continued on to work. He got out of the car and went in to work completely oblivious to the fact his son was still in the car. It was extremely hot that day and he didn't realize what he had done until a coworker ran in to scream "Your son is in the car!!!" Unfortunately it was too late since hours had already passed by. The boy died and his father had to face his wife and explain why their son was dead. By some miracle she didn't divorce him and they worked through it but you could see the pain this man was experiencing. He has been in counseling ever since.

yeah i heard that story on oprah too....
all my sympathy went for the little baby boy that died, buring up in a extremly hot car.
the "dad" was so wrapped up in his job he didnt even realize he had a baby in the car.
there again...."if you are to busy for a child DO NOT HAVE ONE!"

i sure hope next summer there is not one single little baby/child dies of this.
this breaks my heart and stirs emotion in me like nothing else....
i just feel i have to speak out for the babies, the little ones with no words to defend themselves.

i too hope that the someone can come up with some way to prevent this.
i think parental education would be of great help on this topic, because alot of parents think "well i will only be in the store for a minute" and then its too late.
they need to be educated on just how hot a car gets in ten minutes, and educated on how a baby can not controll its body temp. as an adult can.
i guess the alarm would be okay as a backup
*although i still say it is a sad sorry world we live in when you need a alarm to let you know you have left your child in a car....*
but i am all for whatever it takes to prevent this, and if it is an alarm then so be it.
i hope this can finally get national attention...maybe then it will stop happening.

I'm the original author of this posting.

Sympathy and compassion for parents or guardians who leave their children unattended in vehicles has always superceded and taken precedence over the suffering of the children. This is the reason that these stories don't make national news. It is consistently assumed that the parent or guardian has already suffered enough; therefore why cause them further humiliation with national news coverage. It is ashame that the first thought when a child dies in a vehicle is "poor parents; they have to live with this for the rest of their lives". The first thought should be the horrific (torturous suffering) that the child had to endure. The 3 year old little girl that prompted me to post this original message was left strapped to a car seat in a hot car, alone. First, she had to deal with the abandonment of noone hearing her cries and wondering why her father would leave her and not come back. Secondly, she sat strapped to a car seat for almost 9 hours before she was found. Incidently her suffering wasn't short lived (or instantaneous), she was still barely living when the cops responded at 4:30pm. Because she was strapped into her car seat, she had to urinate and release her bowels where she sat. She suffered hunger and thirst. Abandoned, hungry, thirsty, and eventually suffocating from the heat is the agony that was endured by this 3 year old. Her death was torturous and horrific; yet, the majority of sympathy has gone towards the father and his horrible mistake. Forgotten by her father, who couldn't even remember his daughter while working at his occupation which involved working with children. He didn't forget to eat that day. He didn't forget how to do his job. He didn't forget how to drive his car to work. He didn't forget how to brush his teeth or put on his clothes that day to go to work. He didn't forget how to drive on the right side of the highway when travelling to work that day. He didn't forget how to park his car in a parking lot, and not on the steps of a building. He didn't forget his keys when he got out of the car, nor did he forget to lock the door. He didn't forget where he worked. He didn't forget which door to open, which hall to walk, or which office to turn into to begin his work day. However, he forgot his daughter ALL DAY LONG!

This story and all the other stories are about the children, not the "poor parents". It is no question that life has dealt them (the parents) a hard lesson; everybody understands that. We're not bashing the parents, we're stating the facts regarding the circumstances of their cases. Although hard to hear, it needs to be heard for the sake of the children. What needs to happen is that all excuses (memory lapse, forgetfulness, depression, busy work load, "not my normal routine", "I thought you were watching her", "wasn't he with you") need to stop and responsibility from parents needs to start. These deaths will stop when the excuses stop and the responsibility starts. These deaths will stop when priorities are readjusted and children become more than an item on a "to do list". I first posted this story, because I wanted to place the focus where it belongs; on the children. The difference between the children's suffering and the parents in these cases, is that the children didn't get letters of sympathy during their time of suffering. No one was there to provide a shoulder to lean on while they were suffering. No one was their to wipe their tears or answer their cries for help during their time of suffering. No one brought them food or drink during their time of suffering. No one rallied to their defense during their time of suffering. Abandoned in life and abandoned in death; even in their death the children can't get priority when it comes to sympathy (parents still get first place). What I want parents to get from this story is not that they take offense; but rather, that they take responsibility and focus on loving the children with their full attention. If you are too busy, lose some things; but don't lose the children. What needs to be learned by people who suffer with momentary memory lapses that would prompt leaving their children unattended in vehicles is that their body and life is messaging to them a need to unbusy themselves from the cares of the world to focus more attention on caring for the children. If the children would get half the compassion that the parents in these cases get, there would be no more cases of child abandonment in vehicles.

i couldnt have said it better myself.......right on deleah!

this is about the children.....and you are right...no one was there when they were taking their last agonizing breath and the last tear rolled down their cheek....they were all alone, "forgotten" as if they were no important than a lost sock.

the detail you just used is hard to read but i am glad someone finally was able to write it, i couldnt seem to find the words but i think you did.

i have no sympathy for the adults personally, only for the children who never deserved to be in a hot car dying a LONG misrable death.
*sorry if that seems harsh, but i too want someone to think of the babies/children for a change.*

They say if you lose a child, that you are never the same again. Hearing that your child has been murdered by an intruder is one thing, but to know that your child's death was a consequence from the actions you took that day is a haunting that follows these parents every day.

I'm not sure all of these cases are that a parent is "too busy to have children." There are cases all through time where children have been killed due to the forgetfulness of a very loving parent or caretaker. These deaths are ruled accidental, and yes, all of them make me angry. People make huge mistakes, that cost peoples lives. It is a very sad fact. Deaths labeled "accidental" are more common than one would think.

1. People with a pool or lake in their back yard have a child who drowns.

2. A parent forgets to turn off the flames to the gas stove, or forgets about the food cooking in the kitchen, and then the whole house catches on fire, and the family burns to death.

3. People with guns forget to lock their gun in the cabinet. The child finds the gun and loses his life playing with the gun.

4. Accidental poisoning - one of the leading "accidental injuries." People forget to lock this stuff up. Calls for children ange 6 and under represent 53 percent of all poison control center.

5. Doctors try to save a child's life by giving her new organs (lungs and heart), but they forget to check whether the blood type matched the donors. She later dies. (As of 1999, an estimated 44,000 Americans die each year from medical accidents, which would make it the eighth most common cause of death -- ahead of car crashes, breast cancer and AIDS.)

6. And too, suffocation of children in cars. Very, very sad.

To me, all of these are no brainers...yet these unnecessary deaths continue to happen. Did you know "accidental injuries" is the leading cause of death for all people ages 0-34 years old in the United States? There all all kinds of accidental injuries that are very bizarre and crazy. It is very, very, very sad. Do we pick one kind of "accidental death" and beat the parents to death? We are angered by the utter waste of life. But again, I think that each case should be evaluated on an individual basis. I do not think that every parent that has been directly related to an "accidental" death should be the object of such harsh judgement. Surely we cannot know all of the circumstances surrounding all of these thousands of cases.

I've withdrawn my original posting due to the severe editing. Editing large portions of the original message distorts, misrepresents, and changes the content and context of the message intended by the author.

I whole-heartedly agree.

It's September 5, 2004. A case has finally made national news. Two young girls in Kansas were left unattended in an idleing car; consequently they accidently shifted the car into gear, were thrown from the moving car and were run over by the car, being killed in the process. The girls hitting the gear shift was accidental or intentional without knowledge of the consequences; however, the girls being left unattended in an idling car was no accident. The young girls being left unattended in a car was intentional. No, the parents didn't intend for the children to be killed; however they were. Because children aren't fully aware of the dangers that exist, it becomes the parents or guardians responsibility to take the necessary steps to ensure their safety. Leaving children unattended in vehicles is a crime that is against the law in many states (soon to be the case in Virginia). This is the difference between these types of deaths (children unattended in vehicles) and the deaths that occur to children from childhood accidents. Leaving children unattended in vehicles is criminal. These are preventable deaths and due to the recent public awareness of such cases, more laws are being established and enforced in order to establish and ensure the health and the safety of the children. Learn from these parents. It only took seconds for this tragedy to occur. Don't leave children unattended in vehicles. It is our job as the parents or guardians to ensure the children's safety. We cannot continue to excuse this away by saying that "accidents happen". They are only children for a short period of time. During that time, it is our duty to watch them, pay close attention to them, and to protect them from harm. It's not a task for the perfect; it's a task for the parents. We can do better for the children than this. These deaths should at least trigger a response to be more attentive to the children. More than make us pity the loss of the parents and what they must be going through, these deaths should awaken us to the need to improve for the sake of the children. Hopefully these stories will be heard by those who need to hear them, and will spark changes in behaviors that will save the lives of other children as a result.

delaeh----glad to hear this is FINALLY getting some recognition!!!
those poor little girls, i cant even imagine how scared they were.....

i really really hope parents are reading this and taking it to heart.....it only takes a second for the baby/child to die of heat exposure, or for a car to be thrown into gear, or for a car theif to jump in and be gone with yuor car and child as well....

and then parents say....well i live in a small town that wouldnt happen here....think again!
and my child would never throw the car in gear they know better.....REALLY think again!

God Bless all babies and children who need protection from these terrible deaths...

I really doubt that the first thing people think when they here these stories are "oh no those poor parents." I certainly didn't think that when I hear these things. Of course all of my sympathy goes to the child and obviously the first thing I thought of is the terrible way the child sufferred and died. I just think it is a bit far to say lets throw the parents in jail. I don't think someone should be punished for something completely accidental. yes they are probably the most irresponsible people and we wonder how someone could be so careless but regardless, it was a tragic mistake. " I don't think the parent was thinking oh I will leave my child in the hot car all day to die." Yes it is sad but these things will continue to happen because they are accidents and nothing more. Even if people knew they could go to jail for being forgetful it would still happen just the same. And I don't think these stories should be spared news coverage. The media has every right to report what happens regardless of parents suffering so maybe others will not make the same mistakes.

But I do agree that people who intentionally leave their kids in the car whether or not it is hot or cold to get their hair done or any other excuse should go to jail. If you leave a child in the car to finish up office work or do groceries in extreme hot or cold weather you are very uncaring and should be charged with child abuse. I mean even if it is nice weather what about kidnappers? Not to mention if the poor little kid has to use the bathroom. If a parent does this they are plain stupid and gambling with their child's safety.

When my daughter was younger, I used to put her diaper bag in the front seat next to my purse so that it would remind me that she was in the car. I just didn't feel confident in those "mother's instincts" that everyone thinks moms have, so it was an extra precaution. The other thing is if the vehicle has blacked out windows, people on the outside can't see in to help either - when my husband used to bring her to preschool, and I remembered, I would ask him if he dropped her off okay (of course, HE'S the one w/the instincts in our household!). In the case of the grandfather, he may not be the regular caregiver, so he's not used to the routine, not an excuse, though, but in our city, a grandfather had done the same thing too... in front of his house. Grandfather... blacked out windows. It's all too sad but happens too much.

To me there isn't any excuse how this could happen, being busy, child falling asleep nothing in my mind makes any adult off the hook for something like this! A day care center in my town that buses children in a van left a sleeping child...thank the lord, he was smart enough to unbuckle his belt when he woke up and went knocking on a door for help! (3 yr old)...or he would of died also...it was the dead of winter. The problem I see is letting these parents off the hook, that they are suffering the pain of a loss child. How about what the child suffered? Anyone with $$$ can get off cases like this, but you see a single mom/father without money and they will see time! In my book money or no money...make them suffer!